Posts Tagged binge eating
Posted by mmorand on June 19, 2010
I’ll bet you know something about goal setting. I’d actually be willing to bet that you’re very good at setting yourself goals each and every day about what you’ll eat, what you won’t eat, when, how much exercise you’ll do, how much sleep you’ll get, whose call you’ll return and how much you’ll get done at work or around the house. Chances are, you’re really skilled at setting goals. But…how often do you actually follow through with them? How often do you get to the end of your day feeling peaceful and relaxed that you achieved what you had asked of yourself that day?
If, more often than not, you reflect on your day, and hear the Drill Sgt.’s critical voice in your head pointing out your shortcomings, it’s a good indication that you did not achieve the goals you set for yourself that day. Same goes for those of you who wake up in the morning to the Drill Sgt. telling you what you will and won’t do that day to make up for what you did/didn’t do the day before.
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Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, avoidance, binge eating, binging, bulimia, compulsive eating, depression, drill sergeant, eating disorders, isolation, learned helplessness, overeating, procrastination, purging, rebalancing, recovery, restricting, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers, unrealistic expectations
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on June 16, 2010
We’ve had another busy, busy week with new individual counselling clients, new intensive healing retreats starting, lots of registration for our Victoria Phase I workshop (still a few spaces left), book sales, web program registrants and new newsletter readers.
So if you’ve been carrying the belief that you’re alone in your stressful relationship with food; that you are the only one who suffers from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, diet mentality, body image nasties that just won’t leave you alone, here’s proof that there are many men and women out there in the world who are tired of those old behaviours and are ready to try something that actually works to reach their goals of a healthy, sexy, natural weight for their body and an easy, peaceful relationship with food. Ahhhh, you can feel the peace descend!
Our programs and events are popular because they work, and quickly too! Not years later, but now, when you begin.
We are very excited about our new centre in Vancouver opening in September, and have plans to offer workshops in Kelowna and Calgary through the summer or early in the fall, so there will be even more opportunity if you live elsewhere in Canada to attend a transformative 3-day workshop! And if you live in Europe or the USA, just let us know if you’d like us to bring a 3-day event to you and we’ll do our best to make it so!
Have a fabulous week of growth and change.
Love
Tags: anorexia, binge eating, body image, bulimia, core beliefs, diet mentality, eating disorders, purge, purging, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops
Posted by mmorand on June 12, 2010
Ever feel afraid to make mistakes? You can’t expect yourself to do something perfectly the first time around. In fact, you won’t be perfect (i.e. never make mistakes) right out of the gate (or ever for that matter). If you expect that or believe that there are others who are able to do that, you will sabotage yourself and you will never move forward. If you carry the belief that you have to be perfect and that if you can’t be perfect and guarantee that you’ll not make a mistake you’re not even going to bother trying something, not only are you going to experience a very stifled and rigid existence but you’ll probably feel anxious and on the verge of a breakdown most of the time. That kind of thinking is supreme all-or-nothing thinking and it is what is keeping you stuck in all areas of your life, guaranteed.
If you use food to cope, you likely had a primary caregiver or mentor in your life who did not allow mistakes, someone who shamed, blamed, criticized or judged you for not doing something perfectly – or rather the way they thought it should be done.
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Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, binge eating, body image, bulimia, compulsive eating, core beliefs, eating disorders, healing, insecurity, natural eating, overeating, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on June 9, 2010
Welcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career.
Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck.
Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female.
So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life.
Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed!
CEDRIC’s Weekly Update
Hello out there!
It’s been a supremely busy week here at CEDRIC! Wow! We’ve had many new clients reaching out to us from different parts of the world (thank you Skype!) who are exploring the many different services we have to offer. It finally feels like my dream of a centre that provides a sense of community and connectedness for those who struggle with food and body frustration is coming true!!
Last night I gave a presentation to a large group of counselling professionals in Victoria. And I will be traveling to Kelowna and Calgary in the Summer (or early Fall) to present to professionals and to the general public there. We may even hold our very, very first 3-day transformative workshop in Kelowna and Calgary. There definitely seems to be a lot of interest, and I can appreciate it’s easier for me to travel to you than for all of you to travel to me! If you’re interested in an event in your city, or if you live in Kelowna or Calgary and want to be kept informed of events, let me know.
Clearly, people are getting interested in what we have to offer and with our individual counselling, our workshops, our book and other materials and now our new Web-Based program for complete recovery, we are finally able to offer what seems to be the perfect blend of counselling support, resources, peer connection (as much or as little as you like) and healing at a price that everyone can truly afford. Yay!!!!!!!!
In case you didn’t read the article from last week, entitled “Review Time” I’ve included a piece of feedback I received from a reader about their experience of the article. Our blog and newsletter provide you with free tools every week so that you can start to better understand why you do what you do with food and what you can start to do to achieve complete freedom.
Don’t buy into the old bogus story that certain professionals still push, and therefore, certain of your friends and family might still believe, that once you’ve got an eating disorder, you’ve got it for life. That is so untrue and I find it ridiculous and frustrating that people are told such things. It is akin to the old story that the world is flat, or that cigarettes are really good for you!
It is so very common for people who work with us for just a few months to walk away with complete freedom – that lasts! Sometimes a person’s process takes a bit longer, but never are they stuck with a stressful relationship with food for life.
You see, most approaches to eating disorder treatment never actually help you to understand the underlying triggers, separate from food and body image, that you experience in your day-to-day world. You just can’t be truly successful in any lasting way with just a meal plan and some medication to level out your emotions. The problem isn’t solved, just masked over. And what will happen if for some reason you forget or want to stop following your meal plan? Have you learned to trust yourself around food and to eat when hungry and stop when full? Likely not.
Complete and lasting recovery from any harmful relationship with food such as dieting, compulsive overeating, bulimia, and anorexia requires you to be able to trust yourself around food. And that’s really not that hard to do when you are able to understand why you developed that stressful connection in the first place and what you can do, now, in the present to attend to that underlying trigger in a way that truly demonstrates respect for you.
So, if you’re on the sidelines wondering if, after all the other things you’ve tried, you could possibly be successful and truly free, the answer is a resounding YES!!! You just have to try something that actually works! And here we are!
Here’s Judy’s feedback from last week’s article:
“I love how you simplify this! I have spent my life in the all-or-nothing mode, and now I see how this thinking is affecting so many aspects of my life. I would have never identified it as having anything to do with my out-of-balance eating behaviours! Very enlightening. Practicing telling myself the truth is like whacking my way through dense underbrush one step at a time. The all-or-nothing way has become such a well worn pathway, and a hard one to leave behind. Thank you Michelle.”
Thank you Judy! I’m so glad that this clicked for you!
Have a great week everyone.
Love
Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, binge eating, body image, bulimia, CEDRIC, compulsive eating, dieting, eating disorders, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops
Posted by mmorand on June 5, 2010
This week’s article is a brief review of one of the most important, fundamental, basic concepts in the entire recovery process. The faster you grasp this the faster your process goes. It’s that simple.
When we work with clients, whether individually, on the phone or in person, at workshops, and through our amazing, interactive web program that help you with overcoming your problems with food, we always repeat this point, and repeat it and repeat it. It is key! Write it out, paste it to your mirror, your fridge, and your forehead! You might get some strange looks, but in a week you will be so much farther ahead in your own healing and your self-esteem will be so much greater, you won’t care!
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Tags: alcholism, all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, binge eating, body image, bulimia, compulsive eating, eating disorders, gambling, inactivity, individual counselling, insecurity, interactive web program, isolation, over-exercise, procrastination, raging, relationship addiction, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, sex addiction, substance abuse, triggers, withdrawal/avoidance, workaholism, workshops
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, workshops
Posted by mmorand on June 3, 2010
Welcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career.
Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck.
Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female.
So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life.
Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed!
CEDRIC’s Weekly Update
This week has been a beautiful blend of individual clients, web program connections, groups, workshop preparation and community outreach.
I’ve been very touched to receive many calls and emails from past clients expressing their appreciation for the freedom and peace they experience in their lives as a result of their work with us. I know from personal experience through my own eating disorder (binge eating and exercise bulimia) that freedom from the 24/7 food and body focus is so incredibly amazing, it’s truly like starting to live for the very first time.
Here’s a little of the feedback for you to enjoy with me. And remember, if you’re not experiencing this kind of peace and freedom yourself that’s only because you need a few simple tools and some support to learn how to use them. A few weeks with this process and your life will be changed for the better forever, and it will just keep getting better and better!
“There isn’t a day that goes by that you and your wonderful centre don’t enter my mind!”
“Thank you so much for your counselling and your support, I will always be so thankful and have you in the back of my mind if I feel myself slipping in the whole ways. It feels so good to have food as a friend.”
“I must have connected with some things that we worked on last year as I am more content with life and losing weight.”
“Thank you also for the inspiring book and all the brilliant and effective tools you provide in the online programme. You are truly saving my life.”
And, a reminder that our summer workshops are coming up fast! On the weekend of July 16-18, you can come to a Phase I workshop in either Victoria or Vancouver, and on August 27-29, you can join us for Phase II in Victoria.
Our 3-day transformational workshops are truly that. They don’t just get you to stop binging or purging or restricting, they give you the solutions to the underlying problems in your life. When you remove underlying triggers, you have absolutely no need and no desire to continue in your stressful relationship with food and you are free to choose not to. Really, it becomes a choice – your choice!
Have a great week!
Love
Tags: anorexia, binge eating, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, community, compulsive eating, core beliefs, eating disorders, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops
Posted by mmorand on May 22, 2010
You know that precious time in the morning when you lie in bed or you’re brushing your teeth or in the shower and you start to feel excited and energized about the fantasy you’re having about how much you’re going to exercise (later that day, and every day thereafter), or how much you are or aren’t going to eat that day (and every day after)?
You know, those moments when you know what you need to do to be the physical form you want to be, and therefore (in your head anyway…) to be happy finally, once and for all. Only problem is, if nothing has changed in your schedule and your inner thought process and self-regard since yesterday, all you are doing when you engage in those fantasies is setting yourself up to take a brutal beating from your Drill Sgt. when you crawl in to bed at the end of the day.
Think about it. If you weren’t able to find the time or the energy or the positive self-regard to make honoring choices about what you ate, whether or not and how much you exercised, and whom you spent time with and how you spent it yesterday, why on earth would today be any different? Unless you’ve actively changed your schedule and set reasonable goals based on the reality of how much energy you’ll have at the end of the day; learned to set boundaries about what you do and with whom (both at work and at home); committed to and gained skills for eating naturally (eat when hungry, stop when comfortably full)….why would anything be any different from yesterday?
Yesterday you wanted to be healthier. Yesterday you wanted to exercise. Yesterday you wanted to talk to so and so about such and such. Nothing has changed in your goals from yesterday to today. So if nothing has changed in your expectations of yourself but you weren’t able to honor them yesterday, you really are beating your head against a brick wall to continue to expect that of yourself today. It’s self-harm on a major scale to continue to expect something of yourself that you aren’t yet able to do consistently without changing your approach and gaining some new skills.
If this sounds like you, it’s time to stop. This is the old, Drill Sgt., irrational, motivation through criticism approach to healing and it hasn’t worked in your entire life so far, so it’s not going to work now. Accept it, let it go and actively seek a solution that does work. What would that be you ask?
Well, what does work is to take a look at what you are expecting of yourself on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis in all areas of your life: primary relationship, kids (if you have them), family, friends, work, volunteer, school (classes/crafts, etc.), and your relationship with yourself. What is it that your Drill Sgt. tells you you should be doing in each of those areas in order to finally be acceptable, loved, safe, and happy (oh, and don’t forget drop-dead sexy!).
Now stop for a moment and look at what you’ve written. How many hours in a day would you need to fulfill those commitments as your Drill Sgt. says you should in order to finally be “good enough?” 30? 50?…. When exactly are you supposed to get that perfect 8+ hours of sleep he expects of you?…Right.
Now what if you just stopped, breathed, really – stop and breathe – be here, now, with me. Notice what you are telling yourself right here in this moment about yourself, about your expectations, about how there’s no point doing this exercise…etc.
Take a moment and write out all the stories you’re telling yourself right now – even the one about how you don’t have time to write out all the stories you’re telling yourself …
Now, at the end of each story add the words “and that means.” Now see what pops into your head. Keep adding “and that means” to the end of each statement until you feel like there really is no further to go. Chances are you’ve just hit the jackpot of all-or-nothing thinking. Go on, try it. If you’re reading this article it’s because you recognize you need a hand in getting to a peaceful and easy relationship with food and with your body. Why bother reading the article and acknowledging you need help if you’re not going to try and do anything new? Usually, the answer to that question sounds something like: “Because I don’t’ really think I can change or that I will be successful…it’s better to not try because if I try and fail I’ll feel like crap – at least now I can still imagine it can work…”
Of course the only problem with that is that it’s not true! Nothing changes when you keep doing the same old same old. Our clients know firsthand that everything changes for the better, and quickly too, when they just say, “Enough already! I’ve got to do something!” and they reach out to us for some guidance, support and tools.
If you’re tired of the morning fantasy that turns to evening self-abuse, start now to write out the process above and give yourself the gift of seeing firsthand what you’re expecting of yourself. Then ask yourself: Within the context of a balanced life, where I have time for my self-care (and energy to follow through on eating well and exercising moderately), what is reasonable to expect of myself in each of the key areas of my life?
Do that for this week – let me know what comes up – and next week, we’ll talk about how to put that awareness into action.
Always remember, this process isn’t hard. It’s simple. What makes it seem hard is all the time you have spent shaming and berating yourself for not being perfect and the automatic default to bad body thoughts and the use of food to cope that ensues when we feel criticized and “not good enough.” It’s time to learn how to step free of the inner power struggle and start living.
Have a great week. Do your best with this piece. It will be worth your while.
Love
Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC.
© Michelle Morand, 2010
Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, binge eating, body/mind/spirit, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, insecurity, motivation through criticism, not good enough, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, self-criticism, self-harm, triggers
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, workshops
Posted by mmorand on May 14, 2010
Welcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career.
Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck.
Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female.
So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life.
Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed!
CEDRIC’s Weekly Update
Hello All and welcome to another fabulous week. This past week, I had the pleasure of appearing on Fanny Kiefer’s Vancouver show, Studio 4. It was a new experience for me and it was fun! You can catch a repeat of the show on Monday, May 17.
And, as you read this, I’ll be facilitating our May Victoria workshop. If you haven’t had a chance to come to one of our workshops, don’t despair, there are more workshops coming up in both Victoria and Vancouver. I’ll definitely be keeping you posted!
Life – it has its ups, downs, ins, outs, “goods” and “bads.” Every day provides us with myriad opportunities for growth and myriad opportunities to change the way we think and behave. Circumstances repeat and each time they do; each time relationships end, each time we switch jobs, each time we move, each time we park at the grocery store parking lot, each time we arrive at our favorite coffee shop to find a long line and no seats….each time we experience the day-to-day events that make up a life, we are given an opportunity to think differently about them and about ourselves and therefore to feel and behave differently (remember your thoughts trigger your emotions which trigger your behaviour).
Our old all-or-nothing thinking Drill Sgt. will tell us that because we behaved this way at a certain time we always will or that it’s who we are and that we should just resign ourselves to suffering, while at the same time berating us for feeling the way we do and for behaving as we do. He beats us up with his words and then takes no responsibility for our emotional and behavioural reaction to his abuse. Does that remind you of anyone from your past or present? If so, even a little bit, you’ve just discovered the genesis of your Drill Sgt. and of your use of food to cope.
For the past 8 weeks I’ve been honoring my value of access to healing for all by providing you, for free, the 3 core tools that you need in order to recover completely and forever from any harmful coping strategy. I do hope you take advantage of your access to these tools, use them freely, everywhere, all the time, and share them around, too. And if you ever feel a little stuck or like the tools might not work for you, just remember this: The tools work every time you use them. No exceptions.
If you’re resistant to trying the tools just check in for any all-or-nothing stories in the form of that pattern of thinking I call “learned helplessness.” It sounds something like this: I can’t; It’s too hard; It’s going to take too long; Even if I am successful this time I won’t be able to really change forever; I’ll be the one person this process doesn’t work for…..etc. etc. etc. If your mind goes there, just remember, everyone’s mind goes there. It’s part of the sickness. It’s part of having an eating disorder or of being an alcoholic, a drug addict, a gambler, a shopaholic, a workaholic, a clean freak, a perfectionist, a schizophrenic, a paranoid, a bi-polar, and anyone who is constantly anxious, depressed or completely numb. These are all just coping strategies and they share a common theme: Learned Helplessness.
You’re in good company. Most of the population of the planet has this harmful, debilitating mindset to some extent in some area of their lives. Most people have to unlearn those old ways of thinking and the harmful behaviours they have created before they can feel peaceful, free, alive, vibrant, passionate and worthy. With the CEDRIC Method, a handful of sessions or a weekend workshop is often enough to set you well on your way to complete freedom.
My team and I are committed to your complete and lasting healing from any stressful thinking and harmful behaviours. Let us support you to step free once and for all. Remember, your life is waiting.
Love
Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, bulimia, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, growing, healing, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops
Posted by mmorand on May 8, 2010
This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3, 3 1/2, Step 4, Step um, I dunno…, and Step 5.
Step 6: More of the List of Stressors – Your simple key to freedom!
Hello All,
Continuing on with the theme from the past 6 weeks – here we go with more on the 3 core tools for complete and lasting recovery. My gift to you! I do hope you’re taking advantage of this opportunity to begin to explore these tools and see how they can benefit your life in all areas. If you’ve tried them once or twice and noticed subtle shifts, even for a moment, just imagine how profound those shifts will be once you have more familiarity and trust in these tools to alleviate any stressful thoughts and any need to use food to cope. If you can appreciate the power of these tools and want support to get “there” faster, just email or call and let us know – we’ll arrange a session for you or you can attend a workshop or join our web program. All are fabulous ways to create a life that is completely free from food and body image stress.
Last week I shared the first two steps and urged/encouraged/begged you to explore them before you went on to this week’s steps. I hope you did. But if not, just pick up with this week and if it feels like it’s not clicking, just let it be okay to go back to last week and do that for a day or two – it will suffice. Then come back to this week’s assignment and you’ll be good to go!
I’ve added the first steps that I shared with you last week here so you can see the flow of the process more clearly. So, if you’re savvy with the first 2 steps skip to 3, otherwise, take a mo’ and read them over before moving on – not a bad idea for us all to be repeatedly reminded of the basics.
So, encourage yourself to take 10 minutes each day to work down to step 5. Next week, I’ll share the last few steps with you and you’ll be good to go! I really want to hear from you about your experience with these steps, particularly if you’re having a challenging time identifying the all-or-nothing in your thinking (stories). This is to be expected and is nothing at all to judge in yourself – we all struggle initially with separating the fact from the fiction, and that’s what I and my staff are here for.
List of Stressors Handout:
Note: This process needs to be written down the first few times, not done in your head. If you try to do it in your head your Drill Sgt. and his all- or- nothing thinking will get in the way and you’ll end up feeling more stuck. When you write out a list of stressors you will end the process feeling free and peaceful and will be able very soon to just do this process in your head automatically whenever you feel the slightest bit anxious – you won’t need to wait until you’re already overwhelmed and binging, purging or restricting to tune in and release yourself from the stress in your life.
1. Notice when you are engaged in any of the following coping strategies:
- feeling that anxious (P.L.A.) feeling in your tummy; or
- a sinking/depressed feeling; or
- when you are restricting; or
- thinking about binging or purging; or
- you are in the middle of binging or purging; or
- have just finished; or
- hearing critical thoughts in your head; or
- wanting to isolate; or
- wanting to procrastinate; or
- having a bad body thought; or
- wanting to act out in anger (towards yourself or others).
These are all coping strategies. They are nothing in and of themselves. They are signposts and they exist to let you know one thing and one thing only: You have needs that aren’t being met. The proper response to noticing any of these cues is to take the following steps to seek to understand what needs have been triggered for you and what action you can take to meet that need in a way that enhances your self-esteem and all aspects of your life.
And, if trying to be mindful of them all seems a tad overwhelming (as it did to me when I was first learning this process), just pick one or two to be on the lookout for – it will be enough, I promise.
2. When you notice any of those thoughts, feelings or behaviours kicking in just acknowledge aloud: “I am kicking in to using one of my coping strategies and that absolutely, no exceptions, means I’m in all-or-nothing thinking. Every time!”
3. Ask yourself: “Just prior to me feeling that sinking feeling or kicking in to the coping strategy of binging and purging, what just happened or what was I just thinking that might be stressing me out? Invite yourself to make a note of the first 3 things that come to mind.
If you’re drawing a blank or you are absolutely convinced that the only thing that’s stressing you out is food and/or your weight, trust me, it isn’t! And try this: Consider the Matrix – past, present, and future – not just what is apparent to you in this moment. Ask yourself : “What was I just thinking about from my past or what might I have just been imagining in my future that could have triggered stress for me?”
Write down your answers (these are your stressors). If you still struggle to find an answer (and you may as you’ve likely been disconnected from your emotions and thoughts for some time), try this: Write down all of the key roles you have in your life (daughter, partner, individual, professional, volunteer, student, etc.) and identify the things that you are or aren’t doing in those areas that you have judgement of (things you should/shouldn’t be doing).
Allow yourself to identify your stressors using the tools above and just write one or two words to name them. This should be point form, bullets, not sentences at this point. We’re just getting out on paper a simple list of all the topic headings that may be triggering unmet needs and leading you to use one of the coping strategies above.
4. Now, for each one of your stressors ask yourself: “What is the story that I’m telling myself about this?” Ie.What should/shouldn’t be happening? What should or shouldn’t I or others have done? Where should or shouldn’t I be? Etc. etc.
5. For each story/stressor ask yourself is there any all-or-nothing thinking in this story? (ie. can I formulate that story as a “should” statement?). If you’re not sure, or if the story feels true, just add “and that means” to the end of each statement in #4 and see what comes up – is there any all-or-nothing thinking in that story? Circle or put a mark beside the stories that are all-or-nothing.
Take some time each day with these steps, I urge you, and you’ll notice a big difference in your overall anxiety and your urgency to use food to cope.
Have a fabulous week!
Love
Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC.
© Michelle Morand, 2010
Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, bady body thought, binge eating, binging, compulsive eating, control, coping strategies, core beliefs, depressed, drill sergeant, isolate, list of stressors, procrastinate, purging, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, stress
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery
Posted by mmorand on April 30, 2010
What an amazing week – or should I say month, or should I say year?! Wow! There has been so much amazing growth for our clients. The amazing feedback just keeps coming. I’d like to share a little of it with you for those of you who are still feeling some reluctance to diving in to this process. It is so important for you to know how fast and how simple this process can be. It’s all the old diet mentality stuff that takes a long time and provides no real, lasting change. The process of healing that we teach our clients at the CEDRIC Centre doesn’t have to take long and provides true, lasting success.
For example:
This morning I had a client in my office who started this process 1 ½ months ago, we’ve had 8 sessions total. After years of struggling and feeling insecure and “less than” and dieting and overeating and dieting and overeating, she’s already had 2 weeks of feeling on top of the world! She wore a beaming beautiful smile. She’s feeling warmer and more loving towards herself, and not feeling that urgent compulsion to eat, and she’s just getting started!!! Imagine what the next 2 months will bring, and beyond!! Oh yeah!!!!
This is not the exception. It is the norm, when people just get started receiving support and start learning how to use the tools. Fast, lasting, complete healing.
I also just received an email from a participant from the last weekend workshop (7 days ago) about the amazing success she’s having in her relationships and with food – no overeating or even feeling drawn to it in a week. When was the last time you had a week where you didn’t even feel drawn to overeat? Where as soon as you felt at all anxious you knew exactly what to do to take care of yourself and to let that anxiety go without using food to cope? A few sessions or a weekend workshop were all these women needed to achieve that long sought after peace and solidity.
This process doesn’t have to take a long time or cost you a tonne of money. Those are just old stories, or perhaps they are your own lived experience from other things you’ve tried. You can let those stories go now, and just dive in and be completely free in a few short days at our next Phase I workshop (May 14 – 16th) or a few weeks through our worldwide individual counselling. What suits you best?
Here’s one more email I received this week from Lisa who feels solid and secure in her new approach to food through the tools she learned in our work together. Lisa took part in a weekend workshop and did some phone sessions with me to supplement her learning. Now, after decades of feeling controlled and overwhelmed by food she has this to say:
“I am doing really well with the tools that you have given me. I have not used food to cope in a major way for at least 5 weeks now (I have allowed it to just become a part of my life that I haven’t even written down a ‘start date’ – which is something I definitely would have done before, especially with a diet mentality). I’ve had a couple of times where it was very, very minor but that’s about it. I have changed (I guess I just needed to give it a little more time and also allow myself to really try). I am making really good choices for myself now. There are things that you have taught me that I can honestly say I think about at lest 1x/day.
I have learned from you, that if I have to ask myself if I am hungry, it is quite likely I’m not so I just ask myself how am I feeling, etc. (I’m sure you know the drill!)
In asking that question to myself, I have allowed it to be okay that when I’m not hungry but want food that I don’t choose food (because it never leaves me feeling good about myself) but that I also don’t choose to “figure out what’s going on” …. I decide to just let it go. That has honestly been so freeing. Even in writing this to you I am genuinely reminded that these scenarios just don’t seem to come up like they used too. I can’t even remember the last time I even thought about using food to cope.
I do remember last night though when I had my snack and wanted a piece of chocolate. I had a piece of chocolate and I took my time eating it (it was good chocolate), and I really enjoyed it. What’s cool for me is that somehow (with all of the info you have given), it has clicked in my brain that the chocolate last night is a treat not a meal!
This one has helped me so much. I remember eating lunch the 2nd time with you and everyone was discussing what they were going to have… I wanted one of everything! You, on the other hand, were like, ‘Oh whatever, I guess I’ll have this …..’ You knew this was not your last meal, it was food to give your body energy, etc. I have that now. I have that natural – it’s food to give me energy! The last time we went to Boston pizza with the kids (thrilling, eh?) I ordered what I wanted, there spinach salad (you know the kind with eggs, bacon, cheese – really yummy). The only reason I am saying specifically what I ate is because my other me would have really, really wanted the spinach salad but wouldn’t have ordered it because I would have wanted one of everything, etc. – basically lived like it was always my last meal and when eating out at restaurants or at parties I would let myself use food to cope in such a HUGE way because well, we’re out and it’s a treat (hahaha, a treat that happened 1-2 x/week for sure)
Anyway, I won’t go on and on I just want you to know that you have helped me more than my words could ever say. The day I went online and looked up overeating or something like that online … I will forever be grateful that Cedric Centre popped up and that you are the person behind it all. I think of you so often. I know we don’t ‘know’ each other but with a sincere heart, a thankful mind, a grateful partner (that has the woman back in his life he knew was there), kids that are just sooooooooooo happy ’cause well you know the reason….. THANK YOU just isn’t enough.
Thank you.
Lisa AND her family AND her friends!”
Thank you ladies!! I am always so incredibly thrilled to receive your sharing about how these tools have changed your life. They certainly changed mine and led me to complete and lasting healing from binge eating disorder and exercise bulimia (also known as overeating and exercising like a fiend to keep my weight somewhat stable).
We’re having a great experience of learning and sharing on our web-based program too. So if you’re wanting to start out a little more anonymously, and/or economically, I encourage you to join. It’s just $33.00 a month and provides you with all the support and tools you need to never use food to cope again, and to be a natural weight for your body without effort.
This week the article is on the List of Stressors. The last tool to be shared in the core tool series. The first being the awareness of your sensations of anxiety and the use of the 4-7-8 breathing exercise; the second being the fabulous Drill Sgt. Dialogue that provides such an immediate sense of integration and inner peace!!; and now, the final piece in the healing triad – the list of stressors. Enjoy, explore, and take advantage of the workshops, counselling or web program to cement and expedite your healing! It is completely unnecessary to struggle with food and body image stress for one more week.
Love
Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC.
Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, insecurity, nurturing, overeating, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
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