Posts Tagged isolation

Maybe Evolution Has Moved Too Quickly?

It seems like evolution, whether at the motivation (conscious or otherwise) of some more sentient, omnipotent being, or exclusively through some natural selection process, has brought us to a place of consciousness of our separation and individual responsibility faster than we are able to comfortably and confidently step into the role of responsible individualism. I believe strongly that this theory is evidenced by the multitude of behavioural and thought processes that humans engage in, on a daily basis, whose sole purpose is to distance ourselves from this present moment and from the reality of separation and individual responsibility combined with complete interdependence on others. (more…)

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Setting Reasonable Goals

setting reasonable goalsI’ll bet you know something about goal setting. I’d actually be willing to bet that you’re very good at setting yourself goals each and every day about what you’ll eat, what you won’t eat, when, how much exercise you’ll do, how much sleep you’ll get, whose call you’ll return and how much you’ll get done at work or around the house. Chances are, you’re really skilled at setting goals. But…how often do you actually follow through with them? How often do you get to the end of your day feeling peaceful and relaxed that you achieved what you had asked of yourself that day? If, more often than not, you reflect on your day,  and hear the Drill Sgt.’s critical voice in your head pointing out your shortcomings, it’s a good indication that you did not achieve the goals you set for yourself that day. Same goes for those of you who wake up in the morning to the Drill Sgt. telling you what you will and won’t do that day to make up for what you did/didn’t do the day before. (more…)

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Review Time – Overcoming Your Problems With Food

Overcoming Your Problems With FoodThis week’s article is a brief review of one of the most important, fundamental, basic concepts in the entire recovery process. The faster you grasp this the faster your process goes. It’s that simple. When we work with clients, whether individually, on the phone or in person, at workshops, and through our amazing, interactive web program that help you with overcoming your problems with food, we always repeat this point, and repeat it and repeat it. It is key! Write it out, paste it to your mirror, your fridge, and your forehead! You might get some strange looks, but in a week you will be so much farther ahead in your own healing and your self-esteem will be so much greater, you won’t care! (more…)

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, workshops

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Social Isolation and Withdrawal

socialisolationExcerpt from the book Food is Not the Problem: Deal With What Is! Social Isolation – Why Do I Do It? First, let’s explore what leads you to isolate yourself. In short, it’s all about how much you trust yourself to set boundaries and to only engage in relationships which are healthful and supportive of you. The degree to which you doubt your ability to assert your needs will be the degree to which you isolate. In other words, if you don’t trust yourself to say no to others, you will likely refrain from much social interaction, or you will find yourself overloaded with social commitments which are unrewarding and lack depth. You may not even be conscious that this is what motivates you to distance yourself from others. Your Drill Sgt. may have tried to explain your behaviour through his old core-belief perspective, telling you all sorts of stories about how weird and unlikable you are; how no one really cares whether you are around or not; how people are only going to judge you; and how unattractive or unintelligent you are if you go out. None of this is at all true. It’s just more of that coping strategy of negative core beliefs and bad body thoughts kicking in. And you know that this is just an indication of unmet needs for security and acceptance. As you begin to hone your skill of identifying the unmet needs that drive your coping behaviour, you will be presented with many opportunities, big and small, to strengthen your trust in yourself and create more security by validating your needs, setting clear boundaries, and proving how effectively you can care for yourself. It is likely that at the start of this new way of looking out for yourself you will notice yourself feeling anxious and resistant. There are two key pieces at play here: 1. Somehow, your Authentic Self and not your Nurturing Parent is front and centre trying to navigate this new terrain on her own. This is dangerous, because your Authentic Self is still very young and still needs a lot of reassurance and support to behave in a new way and not buy into those old core beliefs. She does not have the capacity to rationalize and empthasize in the way the Nurturing Parent does. She must not be made to handle scary and stressful situations such as boundary setting. You wouldn’t make a five-year-old child go on his own to confront someone about security or approval needs that aren’t being met, so you can’t expect your Authentic Self to have the courage and ability to do so either. 2. Your Drill Sgt. senses the insecurity, fear, and doubt of the Authentic Self and is doing his “motivation through criticism” to try and get you back into a “safe” and familiar place. You will likely hear the Drill Sgt. insisting that your needs are not valid or important. You may be aware of him calling you names, such as, weak, needy, when you are experimenting with acknowledging your feelings and needs to others. I encourage you to acknowledge the Drill Sgt.’s comments and then, as we have discussed, ask him what his intent is. Remember: seek to understand. The solution? Notice the distress and resistance about boundary setting, and call forth your Adult Nurturing Parent. The Nurturing Parent can then reassure the Authentic Self that her feelings and needs are valid; that she has a right to ask for what she needs and that they, the Nurturing Parent, will take over from here. “Try the hand-on-the-tummy thing here. It really does help to ground you and establish a stronger sense of connection between your Parent and Authentic Self). Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC.

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Procrastination and Isolation

isolationA few weeks ago, during our self-care series, I received this email asking for some specific support around goal setting and changing harmful patterns. “Thank you for this article, it sounds so easy when you break the goal down into small pieces that are seemingly easily attainable. I’m really struggling with a lack of sociability. I put off going out and meeting people (even going to the market) and am getting more and more housebound.  I find myself dreading any social contact and I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed.  Can you help me with my goal of being a little more outgoing and getting myself to socialize without throwing myself into a state of panic?  Thanks for all your great articles and help.” For those of you out there also struggling with the coping strategies of isolation, avoidance and procrastination, let me offer you a suggestion for moving past and into an experience of life that is fuller and richer than the one you’re living right now. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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