Posted by Cedric on April 1, 2009
I fell off the wagon on Spring Break week. I fell off so bad that the skid marks are everywhere on me.
I knew better, but did what I did anyways, and I blame that darned dialogue that rattles on in my mind. I thought I was better equipped to resist the arguments that came up but I caved royally and now I am paying.
I knew better than to ingest the very things that I’d identified as being problems for me. High fructose corn syrup had almost totally been eradicated from my diet. For a month, I experienced the equivalent of a ‘detox’ as I cut back on sugars of all kinds, on dairy, on highly refined foods.
I’d been so good. All last month I ate organic, followed my hard-won advice around the ingredients that I wanted to avoid, I shopped in the outside aisles of the supermarket and avoided fast food completely. As a result, my bloat dissipated, my ankles ceased their endless swelling, I had more flexibility and I didn’t feel as creaky in my joints. My skin cleared up and my slacks were JUST starting to have a little bit of give in them.
I was optimistic that my health was on the upswing and I was on the road back.
And then I had three days where I gathered up all four of my daughters where we had a little road trip that found us traveling long distances, staying in hotels and eating out a lot. Well, finding good food on the ferry was easy if you wanted nothing but salad and vinaigrette, but watching the girls mow down fat french fries, that gooey brown chemical gravy and the smell of fried chicken burgers made my resolve weaken. By the time we made it to the mainland, and hunger reared its head again, we were headed for hell in a gasoline hand-basket as I took the kids to not only Wendy’s but to Mickey D’s as well as Burger King AND Chinese food over the course of the weekend. I tried to stick to my confirmed new way of eating, but the chicken strips called my name and before I knew it, I had to eat them. Then the coffee with its cream and sugar of dubious origins… then the gummy bears… and later that night in the hotel, the bags of chips came out. Granted I ate the ones marked ‘organic’, they were still full of chemical contents that I couldn’t pronounce. (more…)
Hey out there in the CEDRIC community. How’s your day going so far?
As I write this, it’s beautifully sunny outside and warming up. Yay!!
My dear friend Mark is planning to come and visit from a far away warm and sunny place but he won’t come until it’s warm enough to wear shorts!!! Says he doesn’t even own a pair of long pants! Can you believe it!!?? So, I’m hoping the warm weather comes soon. I’ll let you know when he arrives as that’s a sure indicator that summer is here. Mark is a great spiritual teacher for me and I always learn so much about myself in his presence so no doubt I’ll have lots to share about my own personal process in the next few months.
I just wanted to check in with you ladies and gents and see how your inner feedback balancing was going. Who has taken up the challenge? How are you doing with it? (Don’t have a clue what I’m talking about? Check out this link and start to heal your negative self-talk and all or nothing thinking!)
If you haven’t started the exercise even though you read the article ask yourself “what’s creating the procrastination?”. Is it true that you don’t need to enhance your ability to allow authentic feedback on both sides of the equation (positive and “constructive”)? Is it true you don’t have time today to take 10 minutes to write out things you’re grateful for from your past/present and future? Is it true that you can’t begin to allow yourself the constructive feedback you feel is true while also offering yourself gentle reminders of what is working in your life?
Ask yourself what may be preventing you from taking this next step in your healing of your use of food to cope?
Chances are, it’s an all or nothing story that when brought to light is easily debunked! Don’t let those old bogus stories of how you don’t have time or how it won’t work for you. Don’t listen to the Drill Sergeant who says you need so much more help than this little tool can offer so there’s no point in doing anything. Don’t let these initial hazards stop you from taking the next step on your path to healing.
It’s the all or nothing thinking that keeps you stuck using food to cope. Don’t let that old harmful mindset be the thing that drives the show and prevents you from moving forward. Remember dear old Einstein said “The same mind that created the problem can not be used to solve it!” And don’t leave it up to your old all or nothing mindset to determine whether there is any point in you using a new tool to help you overcome your restriction or your binging or purging.
Let me know how it goes!
Love Michelle
