Archive for The Law of Attraction
If I could give folks who want to change their stressful relationship with food, weight and other humans once and for all, just one piece of advice I’d say this:
Make a commitment to yourself that you are not going to force yourself to do anything ever again!
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I was deeply saddened this past week when I received an email from Franklin Covey letting me know that Dr. Stephen Covey had passed away on July 16th at the age of 79.
Stephen Covey was a huge influence in my life through his book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.’ The little that I knew of his personal life led me to have confidence that he embodied the principles of which he wrote and spoke.
Many people focus on the 7 Habits as a tool for their professional life and forget that this is a full philosophy for life – all areas of life – not just work.
Stephen Covey’s work taught me the fundamental importance of having a clear sense of my values and principles and embodying those in all aspect of my life. His work taught me about integrity; what it was, what it felt like to have it, and how important it was to every single aspect of my life.
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I’ll bet you know something about goal setting. I’d actually be willing to bet that you’re very good at setting yourself goals each and every day about what you’ll eat, what you won’t eat, when, how much exercise you’ll do, how much sleep you’ll get, whose call you’ll return and how much you’ll get done at work or around the house. Chances are, you’re really skilled at setting goals. But…how often do you actually follow through with them? How often do you get to the end of your day feeling peaceful and relaxed that you achieved what you had asked of yourself that day?
If, more often than not, you reflect on your day, and hear the Drill Sgt.’s critical voice in your head pointing out your shortcomings, it’s a good indication that you did not achieve the goals you set for yourself that day. Same goes for those of you who wake up in the morning to the Drill Sgt. telling you what you will and won’t do that day to make up for what you did/didn’t do the day before.
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Have you ever wondered why you, or some of the people you care about, seem to feel compelled to do things that they say they don’t want to? Do you ever find yourself doing things like overeating, or calorie-counting/dieting, or drinking a bit too much, or spending a bit too much, or procrastinating on things, or isolating rather than socializing? Well if you’d like to finally understand what’s really going on behind the scenes (in your head!) to make you behave in ways you know aren’t good for you or that will ultimately cause you stress, read on.
In order for you to completely understand why you do what you do and what you can do to begin to think, and therefore, behave, differently, I’ve put together a kind of step-by-step flow of logic that will help your brain shift out of confused, stuck thinking and into rational, reasonable thoughts that will influence you to behave in ways that will enhance all aspects of your life. ’Cause, let’s face it, you know that some of the things you do aren’t the best choices, you may even have tried to stop or cut back or make some big lifestyle changes. But if you haven’t understood what’s really driving you to do those things in the first place, you can’t be successful for long, and instead will likely feel more stuck and hopeless rather than inspired and confident.
If you’re at all a believer in the concept that your thoughts create your reality, the following logic flow will help you to feel more solid and grounded in clear thinking. This means you will be confidently more present in the world and able to enjoy your food, drink, exercise, free time, and socializing more while being less likely to use any of those substances and behaviours to cope with stress or emotions such as anxiety, anger, insecurity or sadness.
The following is a list of basic premises you must accept in order to heal from any stressful patterns of thinking and behaving and live life to the fullest. I encourage you to read this over on a daily basis for a week and you’ll be amazed at the shifts that occur in your relationship with yourself and with others, with little or no effort on your part.
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Today, (11/21/11) for me, was one of those days that we might dream about for years and years, hoping it will come true but truly wondering if it ever would. Perhaps from our little girl selves at the age of 8 or 10, and then again, with greater emphasis and clarity in our teens, and then early 20’s and maybe during some dark times too, that dream would keep us plugging along, one seemingly cement-laden foot in front of the other.
Today I had the experience of educating a group of 160 nursing students on The CEDRIC Method. Now, that in and of itself is rather frickin’ cool! Getting to educate up-and-coming front line health care providers on a respectful, simple, effective way of perceiving and supporting their clients who may struggle with eating disorders or substance abuse issues is an incredible honour. Period. That’s a pretty cool day.
But, it gets better!
It was at a college that I went to many years ago. At that time I was a grade 10 drop out. A pot smoking, binging, isolating, depressed, anxious, insecure, totally – and I mean to-ta-leee – codependent young woman who couldn’t make eye contact with anyone without breaking out in hives!
I used to literally slink onto campus, keep my head down in class and try not to interact any more than necessary with any other students.
I could relate to the teachers amazingly well – even was asked and agreed to attend staff functions (aka pub crawls!) from time to time. But I felt so totally fat, gross, and just plain geeky with my peers (aka the cool people), that I didn’t make one friend in 4 years. Not one.
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Those of you who have worked with the CEDRIC Core Beliefs booklet are probably familiar with these stages, but seeing as how June is ‘Natural Eating’ month, we thought that you might enjoy a quick reminder to help you grab the nutshell of where you are in your process, right in this moment, taken from our Natural Eating booklet. (more…)One of the things I know for sure about body image, from my own recovery experience and from hundreds of conversations with clients, is that your negative self-talk and feelings of loathing, disgust and heaviness in your body can change to peaceful acceptance in 24 hours, even when nothing has physically changed in your body.
Yuppers, that’s what I said, your Drill Sgt. can be happily on vacation in Mexico in 24 hours, leaving you at home to peacefully and contentedly practice life-enhancing coping strategies and self-care. And I’m not talking about trying to talk yourself into loving yourself as you are or about settling for being the weight and shape that you are now.
So, what am I talking about? I’m talking about integrity. Integrity means that your words and actions are in alignment. You want to know the secret to happiness? It’s integrity. You want to know the secret to feeling peaceful and content in your body; in your relationships; in your career; etc?
It’s integrity: Words and Actions Aligning.
You do what you say you will. And not just to others, but first and foremost to yourself. That’s where most of us who feel controlled by food and loathing of our bodies stumble; integrity with ourselves. We’re all over taking care of others and honoring our commitments outwardly at all costs. (more…)
Today, I’m finally exercising.
Exercising my right to get off the couch
I’m in my portable office that contains a bench in the sun in a hidden corner of Saxe Point with my archaic alternative technology, namely my book and pen. My bike is parked behind me with my digital camera, a sweating, cold bottle of fresh water rounding out my ensemble. A huge military helicopter rumbles by slowly, competing with the birds as I write. My intention was to ponder the question ‘What makes me tick?’ as I rode. I am at that place in my evolution that its high time that I ask myself that very good question.
These days, as I process CEDRIC’s philosophies and tools, as I gain experience applying them to the ups and downs of my life, I’m changing, evolving, refining and in the course of that, so are the factors that comprise what makes me who I am. For instance, I’ve changed my name, my career, my home and my life almost 10o% in the past year. That tells me that I know who and what I’m not any more, but what AM I? What stirs my crank? Gets me going? Gets me motivated?
What makes me tick?
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The thing about having an issue with weight is that it translates to an issue with food. This relationship is something that is mismanaged and misunderstood by the best of them, but when you are dealing with personal challenges, the relationship gets even more murky.
There are so many opinions in the western world for the person who is having self esteem issues around the fact that they are considered overweight or are gaining weight.
There just as many options as there are opinions for the person who is dealing with this and they come from all sides as our culture invests a fortune in keeping the superficial issue of body image in the forefront of the collective consciousness.
We have people on tv, in white coats, claiming to be specialists. They give us the gears for being hefty by informing the population that we are ‘less than’ if we don’t buy their plan for salvation, hook, line and sinker. We hear about Food for nurturing and Food for self numbing as an opiate. Martha Stewart tells us that we need to be making the meals pleasing to the eye, Rachel Ray says we should be making four course meals in half an hour to measure up. Even Oprah, who is a cultural icon in today’s world, has her own kitchen staff that includes a world class chef so she has NO idea what she’s eating as she’s passed that on to her dietitian and yet her weight STILL has more ups and downs than a staircase.
How can a little person from small town wherever, with shoelaces for a budget, compete? How can we get away from the constant berating that we are living with a ‘problem’ and if we aren’t constantly doing something about our ‘problem’, we may as well move to the Tennessee Ozarks into a decrepit trailer park right now. Its bad enough that the reality is our bodies need food for fuel and three times a day or more, we better gas up or we won’t have to worry about it, we’d be dead! How does one address mealtime without confusion when messages are coming at us from everywhere with an opinion of how to think? (more…)
The new Twitterphenomenon is upon us and this tiny little social utility has entered the discourse of our culture in a big way recently. When we turn our televisions on, it seems that every celebrity, everybody at all, has gotten on the Twitterwagon and is supporting it.
So who are we to be left in the dust of an evolving cultural phenomenon?
Food is Not the Problem: Deal with What Is!
"A groundbreaking book! A solid road map to recovery from the use of food as a coping strategy."
