‘Goal Setting’ ~ an excerpt from Michelle Morand’s book, ‘Food is not the problem – Find out what is!’
I need to take you on a little detour. In order for you to be able to fully embrace the concept of self-care, you not only need to be able to offer yourself understanding and compassion, which you now know very well how to do, but you also need to be able to feel safe?even excited?and open to the concept of establishing realistic goals. Let’s begin our exploration of the concept of self-care from the perspective of compassionate goal setting. This is an innovative way of approaching goal setting, and it will help greatly to quell the pressure of the Drill Sgt.’s all-or-nothing thinking and to ease the fear of the Authentic Self in engaging in something new.
Some Background on Your Resistance to Goals
If there is any part of you which feels resistant to the concept of goal setting, it won’t be your Drill Sgt. He loves setting goals. He loves creating rigid guidelines and ridiculous expectations to “support” you to achieve your needs for security, acceptance and esteem. No, any part of you that feels resistant to fully engaging in this discussion on goal setting would be your Authentic Self. She is deathly afraid of schedules and structure. You see, your Authentic Self is accustomed to the Drill Sgt.’s high-pressure tactics and “motivation through criticism.” She is understandably very reluctant to set herself up for any potential failure which is bound to be the outcome of the old method of goal setting. To your Authentic Self, having a clearly established goal right now is like walking into the lion’s den. It is to be avoided at all costs.