Posted by mmorand on March 31, 2009
You know, it’s been a long time since I binged. It’s been a long time since I even wanted to. I used to binge many times a day, and think about it constantly.
I was either planning a binge; binging; or feeling guilty for binging and trying to restrict myself, which very quickly led to me planning another binge and so on and so on and so on. This is what we refer to as the “diet-binge-guilt” cycle, and it used to be a 24/7 companion in my mind and in my life. Trying to fight off the urge to binge and trying to numb out to the guilt and shame I felt afterwards was a full time job. I don’t know how I managed to work and smile and look like I had it all together.
My nickname at work during those most horrendously out of control years was, if you can believe it… sunshine! Oh, if only my co-workers knew what went on inside my little noggin. It was exhausting being at work and having to appear happy and together when inside I felt so fat and gross and ugly and my clothes were too tight and I could hardly breathe (I wouldn’t let myself buy anything new because, of course, I was going to lose weight soon don’t you know!!). Not only that but I also had constant thoughts of what I should be eating fighting a serious but losing battle with thoughts of what I craved but “shouldn’t” have. Ah, yes, was it any wonder that by the time I returned home at the end of each day I felt so fatigued and so overwhelmed and so depressed that I binged just to soothe and numb out; damn the consequences of weight gain and certain drill sgt. verbal lashing. I needed food now!!
I’d deal with the consequences of that choice later.
Ah, yes, later. We who need to numb out to various circumstances in our lives love that word. It’s fabulous. Just listen to how it rolls off your tongue, later; lllllllllllater. It’s fantastic. I don’t have to do it; think it; be it; experience it now because, guess what? I can do it….later! Yesssss! But damn if there isn’t something of a major catch in that philosophy! Later never comes. Later never becomes now. We never grow up. We never learn to take responsibility for our now when we’re constantly putting off making honoring choices until later. We never learn how to identify and resolve our problems or stresses when we keep waiting for that elusive later to arrive.
You may not know how to take the steps to make the changes you want to make in your life to your restriction or overeating; your preoccupation with food and body image; your feelings of anxiety and depression. That’s where we at The CEDRIC Centre come in. All you need is a readiness for things to be different. If you’re desirous of change and you’re ready to manifest that change; if you’d like to stop waiting for later and begin to reclaim your life and start living in earnest now it’s definitely time to dig deep and reach out and let us support you to let your food focus go and become all you can be. (more…)
Tags: binge, diet, exhaustion, honoring oneself, overwhelmed, problems, procrastination
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The Law of Attraction, Tips for Natural Eating
For this week’s article I’m happy to respond to a question from a telephone client on the Eastern Seaboard about stopping eating disorder triggers. I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s relevant to anyone at any stage of the journey to complete freedom from food and body image stress, whether you have an eating disorder or just feel that food focus takes up more time and energy than you’d like.
Question:
“One minute after our talk, which I found extremely insightful as I always do, I walked out of office and into my cubicle to have my lunch. I had ordered egg salad on a wrap and fruit. I was ready to eat until full and, if I wanted, to finish rest later if I got hungry. I’ve really been working hard on trying to listen to my body cues.
(more…)
A few weeks ago, I gave a presentation at the Victoria Health Show entitled: Practical and effective tools for overcoming emotional, psychological and physical barriers to optimum health.
Yes, quite the mouthful, but….interestingly enough it was the most well-attended talk I’ve ever offered in my 10 years of Health Show lecturing. Things that make you go, hmmmmm.
Obviously one reason for the increased attendance is that the topic is broader than my usual “Food is not the Problem: Deal With What Is!” educational presentation. But based on the feedback I received after the lecture and in the weeks that have followed, I am quite clear that the real reason for the greater turn out were the words “overcoming” and “barriers.”
The Diet Mentality of our society says that the way to be externally acceptable is to have breast augmentation, liposuction, no noticeable body fat, and a million dollars. It is not only unrealistic and unnatural, but it is also unhealthful. Ah, but the Drill Sgt. in you doesn’t really care, because the most important thing to him is meeting your needs for security and acceptance. And he believes that those needs must be met outside of yourself and can only be met when you have total acceptance and approval from everyone. He’ll worry about your quality of life and your health and wellness later. Right! Any of you who have been playing the Diet Mentality game for long will know that “later” never comes. From the Drill Sgt.’s perspective, there is always something more that you need to change/do/be in order to secure your place in the world. The only way the Drill Sgt. knows how to do this is to continue to pressure you to look a certain way so that you will finally get the approval and sense of security in the world that you so desperately seek.
