Posts Tagged promises
Trust in the big pictureAll along the theme is trust. Trusting my deservedness, trusting my capabilities, trusting the key people in my life, trusting that, regardless of how things seem in the moment, they always, always, work out for the best. I don’t know whether you’re a spiritual person, a religious person or neither. The good news is it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to believe in a higher power or God or anything greater than yourself (although you certainly can) in order to be able to look back at your life so far and see that the events and circumstances you felt maybe “shouldn’t” have been happening then led you to the place you are now. Out of adversity comes strength. That has been shown to me time and time again. The greatest gift of my personal growth this past decade has been the development of a profound sense of trust that regardless of how things appear in any given moment, they are unfolding exactly as they should. And if I look for the gains, the positives in each situation, I will find them, just as surely as I will find the downside if I seek it. It is our choice, as beings with free will, to focus on what is working or on what isn’t; to attach to how we think things should be or to let go and be open to the silver lining in every situation. It is so easy to get hooked on how things should look and then get angry, sad, hurt, frustrated, scared, etc. when things don’t go as planned. It is far, far easier and far more strengthening to recognize when you’re holding on to things looking a certain way and to just let go and trust that something even better than you had imagined is coming your way. Again, you don’t have to look very far to see the truth of this. Most of us can recall a circumstance – say, the loss of a job or a relationship that we wouldn’t have chosen at the time and that we truly felt shouldn’t be happening or was just downright “wrong.” In hindsight though, wouldn’t you say that “it” worked out for the best; that the loss of that connection or career opened new avenues that led to people and places you wouldn’t now trade for the world? It’s a challenge in the moment to let go and trust in the bigger picture. In fact, it would be truthful to say it is “the” challenge of our lives. And the more we learn to recognize when we’re holding on and to instead, allow ourselves to just let go and trust, the easier, more peaceful, more fun, more amazing and beautiful life gets. I challenge you to recognize some of the things in your present life that you’re resisting letting go of or resisting accepting and see what happens if you just challenge yourself to say, “Well, this is what’s happening. It may scare me. It may not be what I expected or wanted. But I know things always unfold in a way that leads me to bigger and better things. Can I just relax and open myself to this experience as best I can?” If you can repeat this mantra when you catch yourself resisting change, you will find a sense of strength and peace, even in the face of a greatest challenge, that carries you through. We are human, we have feelings. That’s healthy and normal. It’s what we do with those feelings that makes the difference. Do we stuff them and tell ourselves we shouldn’t have them or that what’s happening in our lives shouldn’t be happening? Or do we recognize them for the indicators they are and look beneath them for the situation or story that is triggering them? The first scenario leads to the use of food to cope. The second scenario leads to freedom. If you’d like to be able to choose the second scenario over the first and to develop a deep sense of trust in your ability to navigate life with dignity and grace, rather than with food and body image focus, I welcome the opportunity to work with you and support you to achieve that goal. It is possible. Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, or the self-help approach, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Life is far too short to waste one more day. Love Michelle
Whether it’s overeat, or restrict, or purge, or yell at the kids, or call that guy, or get to work late, or skip your meditation, or drink coffee, or put something on your credit card that you can’t afford, or shop on eBay, etc. you likely fall prey to the late night promises as a way to try and feel a little more peaceful about the day you’ve just had and a little more hopeful about the day to come.
You are sincere. You absolutely mean it when you make that promise to yourself. But, within a few minutes or a few hours, maybe as soon as you open your peepers, the promise is toast and you’ve assured yourself you’ll start with that particular behavioural change “tomorrow.
Now, this doesn’t exactly reassure you. You’ve heard this from yourself before. You know yourself well and you know that unless some sort of miracle happens you’re going to have a day of seeing yourself compromise your integrity / break your promise and then make the same promise that night followed by another day of diminished self-trust and inner security as the promise is neglected once again. It is this cycle of making commitments and then breaking them with just the slightest provocation that triggers that lovely inner companion, the Drill Sgt., to begin his litany of self-contempt and condemnation.
If you could find a way to do two little things your life would change immeasurably – I promise. And if you’re not ready or able yet to do both, pick one! It will make a world of difference. (more…)
How’s it going, so far?Remember that Einstein said “the same mind that created the problem can’t be used to solve it.” What that means to me is that, regardless of how much I want to change something that’s bugging me about me or my life, if I don’t get some new information or learn some new tools, no matter how hard I try, I am going to find myself back in the same place that I started – only likely feeling a little more defeated and despairing. If you are still wondering how to create a peaceful and easy relationship with food, chances are you just need a bit of new information and a few new tools and you’ll be on your way. You can identify yourself as someone who uses food to cope if any of these statements describe you often: 1. You’re wanting to eat and aren’t hungry; 2. You’re eating past the point of fullness; 3. and/or You’re aware you’re hungry but aren’t allowing yourself to eat because a. no one else is; b. it’s not a socially prescribed meal time; c. you’ve had your caloric allotment for this time / day; or d. the you think that pushing yourself to wait when you’re hungry is going to make you lose weight faster. If any of the above statements describe you, you use food to cope. (more…)