Posts Tagged all-or-nothing thinking
Posted by mmorand on February 20, 2010
A few weeks ago, I gave a presentation at the Victoria Health Show entitled: Practical and effective tools for overcoming emotional, psychological and physical barriers to optimum health.
Yes, quite the mouthful, but….interestingly enough it was the most well-attended talk I’ve ever offered in my 10 years of Health Show lecturing. Things that make you go, hmmmmm.
Obviously one reason for the increased attendance is that the topic is broader than my usual “Food is not the Problem: Deal With What Is!” educational presentation. But based on the feedback I received after the lecture and in the weeks that have followed, I am quite clear that the real reason for the greater turn out were the words “overcoming” and “barriers.”
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Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, core beliefs, diet, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, health choices, healthy eating, insecurity, natural eating, nurturing, overeating, past, present, promises, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on February 12, 2010
Last week one of those group chain emails came across my desk. I normally just delete them immediately as I’m not a big fan of the “pressure” / manipulation / magical thinking they usually apply at the end to send it along. The threat or promise that something significant will happen to me based on me forwarding a mass email – the good old chain letter superstition – has never been anything I felt a genuine desire to agree to. And, with rare exceptions, the messages don’t seem all that noteworthy (speaking for my own in-box of course, perhaps your friends send you better ones!).
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Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, co-dependent, codependency, codependent, community, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, future, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, present, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on February 5, 2010
Following on the theme of approaching conversations with people, this week I want to invite you to consider a new way of thinking about issues that are sensitive or have the potential to impact your relationship with someone.
In my 17 years of freedom from emotional eating I have come from being a very scared, extremely doubtful, negative, all-or-nothing, insecure little person (who thought she was absolutely the fattest, ugliest person on the planet and that everyone else thought so too) to become the person I am today. I’m certainly not issue-free or any where near perfect as my friends and family will happily attest, but open, loving, happy, optimistic, confident and secure, able to know that, while I may screw up, drop the ball, or hurt someone’s feelings, I am not bad or unworthy of love, rather I am always deserving of dignity and respect from myself and from others.
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Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, co-dependency, co-dependent, compulsive eating, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, emotional eating, exploring, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, past, present, rebalancing, recovery, responsibility, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, transformation
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre
Posted by mmorand on January 8, 2010
Those of us who use food to cope, or drugs, alcohol, shopping, procrastination, isolation, busywork, and even more socially-sanctioned strategies like over-exercise, co-dependency and workaholism, use those strategies in an attempt to distance ourselves from the constant sense of anxiety we feel within.
The anxiety that we feel is borne out of harmful all-or-nothing stories that I call “learned helplessness.” The learned helplessness stories sound something like this:
- I can’t
- It’s too big
- It’s too much
- I’m not capable
- I won’t be able to do it
- I’m not allowed
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Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, CEDRIC Centre, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, learned helplessness, nurturing, past, present, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on December 11, 2009
The theme of “making mistakes” (from the last 2 weeks) seems to have hit home with many readers, and with good reason. One of the main reasons we use food to cope is because we are so anxious all the time about saying the right thing; doing the right thing; being perceived as good and kind and generous and smart and sexy and “together.”
The pressure to perform and to conform to others’ expectations of who or what we should be creates a chronic state of anxiety that I call “the permeating level of anxiety” (PLA) and it is this chronic sense of disease or distress within that triggers us to restrict, or binge or purge.
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Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, anxious, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, mistakes, nurturing, past, permeating level of anxiety, present, rebalancing, recovery, safe, safety, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers, trust, using food to cope
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
