Posts Tagged emotional eating

How to Stop Binging: The First Simple Steps

How to stop Binging, my article from last week, focussed on The Diet-Binge-Guilt cycle: Why we often binge in the first place and began a discussion of how to stop binging for good.

This week I’m going to enhance that discussion with a more detailed exploration of how our intention to limit the kinds (or quantity) of foods we eat can go sideways and, instead of supporting us to achieve our goals and have more self-esteem, our plans, more often than not, actually make us feel more anxious and depressed and more like a failure than we did the day before.

When we’re stuck in this Diet-Binge-Guilt cycle we feel lots of guilt and shame and hopelessness. The last thing we want to do is admit it to anyone, which makes it hard to get help and makes us want to withdraw from people and isolate. This often leads us to have increased social anxiety and insecurity in relationships and to lean even more heavily on those BAD foods to numb and soothe ourselves in order to simply make it through our day. Sound familiar?

My goal is to make sure you have a clear understanding of why it is you binge in the first place and exactly how to stop binging for good; not just for a day or a week, but really, truly, once-and-for-all good. You see, I know you can stop binging for ever because I have (decades ago) and I’ve helped many hundreds of men and women worldwide to stop for good too.

The best part about getting over binging and learning to trust yourself around food is that you now get to enjoy eating whatever you truly want and you no longer feel guilty or ashamed or like you need to exercise like crazy just to lose weight.

When you simply eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full, you will naturally lose weight (if you have weight to lose), there will be no need to diet or exercise your way there. Really.

And in order to live in that space (that may sound really impossible to imagine right now) you just need to understand how your thinking and your behaviour is getting in the way of your relationship with food, then you can side-step that whole power struggle once and for all and get on with living life for real and to the fullest.

Last week I explained how our plans for how to eat on any given day seem, on the surface at least, to be well-intended and you believe they will help you achieve your goals of weight loss; feeling in control of food; and feeling better about yourself overall.

Your initial self-commitment of the day may sound something like this:

“I’m not going to eat anything after dinner tonight because if I start I won’t stop and if I don’t binge or snack after dinner tonight I’ll feel lighter and less doped up tomorrow, have less negative self-chatter in my head, and ultimately, if I keep that up, I’ll lose weight and stop being so preoccupied about my body. Then I’ll feel better overall, have more self-esteem, start wanting to have sex with my husband or start dating a great new guy and life will finally be the way it should be.”

That’s definitely a motivating image! Who wouldn’t want that?!!

However, we forgot one tiny, wee, little detail.

We made the same promise yesterday…And the day before that…And the day before that…

In fact many of us have made that promise to ourselves every day for years (Moi included before I got a good solid grip and learned how to stop binging once and for all).

So much so that it begins to feel more like some ritual we need to do to get some peace from our nagging self-chatter. Sort of like, “If I can pretend / sort-of-believe that I’ll be ‘good’ today, then I can forget a bit about last night and feel like I can at least get out the door and look other people in the eye today.”

So…what’s up? What’s stopping you now from following through on your commitment to eat well and not binge? If you’re so miserable and you really want to stop binging, what’s preventing you from making it a reality?

Well, think of it this way:

Let’s say, hypothetically, that yesterday you promised yourself you weren’t going to binge at night. But, you did. Or at least you had something that you told yourself you weren’t supposed to have.

So, this morning you wake up and the first thing on your mind is how anxious you feel and how you failed yesterday and what you’re going to do food wise today to make sure you don’t do the same thing again tonight.

Right?

Well…ummm…isn’t that what you did yesterday?

So, what’s changed? Why would today be any different? Think about it for a mo’.

Nothing has changed between yesterday and today.

Your desire to not binge is the same; your commitment to changing is (with the addition of a little more inner frustration given yesterday’s failure) the same; your plan is the same…so why would today be any different?

Well, if you’re thinking reasonably and rationally it won’t be. Therefore, the wisest thing you could do would be to not make another commitment about not binging because there really is no legitimate reason for you to expect yourself to keep it, is there? That is, until you have reason to trust that you know how to stop binging.

Now before that voice in your head freaks out too much and your anxiety level goes through the roof and sends you rushing for the Pringles, hear me out:

Letting go of the commitment not to binge doesn’t mean giving yourself licence to binge. In fact it’s just the opposite.

This is key so I’ll say it again, and I invite you to say it out loud to yourself so you can hear it and see what pops into your head as you hear it:

Letting go of the commitment not to binge doesn’t mean giving yourself licence to binge. In fact it’s just the opposite.

You will prove this to yourself very quickly so don’t worry you don’t have to take my word for it or pretend to accept something that, right now anyway, seems like a very foreign concept.

It will help to remember that a big part of your urgent need for something to eat, in addition to the fact that you use food to manage your stress, is the restriction that you have placed around that food and your subsequent preoccupation with not being allowed to have it.

So, contrary to suggesting you just give up and binge your face off, what I’m actually saying is this:

1. Let’s be real. You haven’t been able to solve your problem with diets and restriction and promises so far. Despite your years of effort, hard work and focus, you still don’t know how to stop binging, so let’s just admit that what you’ve been trying doesn’t work, for anyone, and grant yourself permission, even for the next 3 months (as a little test) to move on to something that does.

2. Let’s figure out what it is that happens during your day and in your head that makes you bail on what we both know you really want, which is to eat sensibly, have a little fun with food, feel good about yourself, and be a natural healthy weight for your body without dieting and constant stress about food.

So here’s the plan to begin to experience significant and lasting change in your binging, overeating, emotional eating, eating disorder…whatever you want to call it:

1. Reassure yourself that you’re never going to (or at least for the next 3 months) make yourself promise not to binge anymore. Remind yourself that this doesn’t mean that you’re urging yourself to binge or setting yourself up to just let go and make overeating okay. It simply means that you’re allowing yourself to live in reality and see the truth about what you can and can’t do right now and that you’re no longer willing to cause yourself added stress and make yourself feel bad about yourself by setting goals that you have no way of keeping.

2. Acknowledge that you are committed to finding a solution to your binging, that doesn’t involve restriction (because, despite all of your efforts, that hasn’t worked yet in any lasting way remember).

3. Take action: The first step for how to stop binging is to learn how to figure out what it is that is actually triggering you (Hint –it isn’t the food!).

A simple exercise that I ask my clients to do at the start of our work together so that they can see for themselves what’s really triggering them to binge, and therefore stop beating themselves up, is this:

Invite yourself to notice a. when you’re thinking about eating and you’re not hungry or b. when you find yourself eating more than you’re hungry for.

When you notice this, don’t let yourself get stuck in judging yourself, simply ask: Just before I reached for food, what was I thinking or what just happened, separate from food, that might have made me feel anxious or unsettled at all?

Write your answers down so you can see, out of your head, what’s really going on for you and you will be amazed at how that one piece of information alone helps you to feel less stressed and overwhelmed right away.

Now we’re talking! You’ll very quickly be able to see the link between daily stress or stressful thoughts, and your desire for certain foods or to binge. And here’s where we come in…

4. Learn how to notice your triggers immediately and how to feel peaceful and confident in your ability to find solutions to any problems or stressors that present themselves in your life. This is actually surprisingly easy when you know what to do because most of our problems are actually caused by 2 or 3 simple factors. And once you know how to take care of those factors in one area of your life (like work or in a key relationship) you will naturally know how to do so everywhere in your life.

In fact, it is very common for me to be able to support people completely through their recovery from binge eating and from the underlying, triggering issues in 3 months of regular sessions.

Many people, perhaps even you, believe that change that lasts has to take a long time and be really hard. These beliefs often lead us to procrastinate on reaching out for help as we believe we don’t have the time or energy and that it will not work anyway, so why bother.

But the reality is, we only believe this pack of lies because we’ve been stuck trying to learn how to stop binging by focussing on food and not the real root of the problem. No wonder we haven’t been successful!

I can tell you with confidence that when people are given tools that work and the support to learn to use them well, their whole life can change, forever, in just a few minutes a day.

I have been working as a specialist with men and women who binge for 20+ years now. I know that you don’t need to struggle any longer and that change truly does happen quickly when you have simple tools that work and a guide who really understands what you need.

That’s what my team and I at The CEDRIC Centre provide you.

You can read some feedback from many CEDRIC Centre clients here if you’d like to get a sense for how simple this process is and how quickly it can change your life.

Love Michelle

Posted in: and Binging, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Tips for Natural Eating, Uncategorized

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Life Mastery Workshop Schedule and Details

Video~Life-Mastery-Workshops~CEDRIC-Centre-Help-for-Eating-Disorders

Life Mastery Workshops – Feb. 22nd to 24th in Vancouver & March 8th to 10th in Victoria, kick off our 2013 Schedule.

If you struggle with behaviour around food and other coping strategies, join us for one of our ‘Master’ Series Intensive 3-day Workshops and learn why you have been stuck in a stressful relationship with food and the steps to take to achieve to maintain a natural weight for your body, for life, without dieting and exercise regimes.  We focus on Mastering Behaviour, Balance and Relationships and empowering you!

See the details below for each of our 3 day events that are sure to change your life forever!

2013 ‘Master Series’ 3-day Weekend Workshop Schedule

Hours: All workshops run from Friday to Sunday, 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. each day.

Cost: All workshops cost $636.00 + tax with payment plans available.

Vancouver Workshops with Michelle Morand, MA, RCC:

‘Master Your Brain – Master Your Behaviour’

Dates: Feb. 22th to 24th; May 17th to 19th; Aug. 9th to 11th; Oct. 18th to 20th

‘Mastering Balance: Creating Solid Self-Esteem and True Inner Peace’

Dates: March 15th to 17th; June 21st to 23rd; Nov. 15th to 17th

‘Mastering Relationships: The Relationship Equation’ – July 26th to 28th; Dec. 6th to 8th

Venue for all Vancouver Workshops: Century Plaza Hotel,  1015 Burrard St, Vancouver, BC V6Z 3B6


Victoria Workshops with Dawn Cox, M.Ed., psych, RCC:

‘Master Your Brain – Master Your Behaviour’

Dates: March 8th to 10th, July 12th to 14th and November 8th to 10th

‘Mastering Balance: Creating Solid Self-Esteem and True Inner Peace’ Date: Sept. 13th to 15th

Venue: Common Room at 1246 Fairfield, Victoria, BC, V8V 3B5


Calgary Workshops with Michelle Morand, MA, RCC:

Master Your Brain – Master Your Behaviour Date: July 5th to 7th

‘Mastering Balance: Creating Solid Self-Esteem and True Inner Peace’– Date: July 12th to 14th

Venue: MacEwan Conference Centre, U of Calgary, 2500 University Dr NW Calgary, T2N 1N4

There is a hotel at the University, if you would like to stay there as well.


Master Your Brain – Master Your Behaviour’ 3-day Intensive Workshops

The best way to achieve mindful, balanced eating is to address the root cause of why you are not able to achieve and /or maintain it.   That’s where our specialists come in.  They teach you everything you need to know about why you struggle with food, what is really triggering the frustrating way you think and behave, why you haven’t been successful in changing your behaviours, and, most importantly, what you can do to gain a new and healthy approach to food and the world around you.

We’ll explore why you do what you do with food, relationships, anger, procrastination, depression, anxiety, isolation, exercise, drugs, alcohol, work/school, and many other harmful coping strategies.  

You will also learn 3 simple tools that enable you to simply eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full, and manage life in ways that enhance your self-esteem and lead to greater peace and happiness in all areas of life. We will teach you how to:

  • establish a healthy relationship with food that lasts;
  • follow through on commitments to self-care;
  • relate to others in ways that enhance your relationships and self-esteem;
  • feel more confident in your own skin;
  • meet your basic needs (without feeling guilty or needy!);
  • change your harmful ways of coping with stress to helpful ones, once and for all.

When you have simple, logical steps to follow, the process of creating lasting change isn’t hard. Regardless of how many programs, methods, tools etc. you’ve tried before, you can do this because it’s simple and it just makes sense

‘Mastering Balance: Creating Solid Self-Esteem and True Inner Peace’ 3-day Intensive Workshops

In this transformative workshop, you’ll learn how to build trust and confidence in your ability to know what you need and to follow through on providing that for yourself. Our participants are often amazed how simple it is to figure out what they really want and most importantly, to see themselves following through on making that happen!

We’ll uncover and teach you how to change your past training in how you think and behave towards yourself and, others, and the world around you, that has prevented you from listening to and valuing your own feelings and needs.  This, sadly, may have naturally led you to feel anxious and to use harmful patterns of behaviour like overeating, restriction, isolation, anger, drinking etc., to cope with that anxiety and frustration!

This has created a vicious cycle of doing things that don’t really demonstrate kindness and caring for yourself – feeling anxious as a result – and using those harmful coping strategies to numb out – leading to more anxiety and a great need for those coping strategies….and round and round we go!

But not after this weekend! We’re going to be identifying the thoughts and behaviours that keep you stuck and then you’ll learn clear and simple strategies for making the changes that you’d like to make in all areas of your life, that feel safe and authentic and most importantly, doable!

Click to read Participant Feedback on ‘Mastering Balance’

Vancouver – ‘Mastering Relationships: The Relationship Equation’ 3-day Intensive Workshops

Relationships are really quite simple when we understand the basics of human evolution, development and relating. In this transformative meeting of minds you’ll come to understand why people do what they do.

Throughout the weekend, you’ll be learning and practicing the basic equation of relationships and trust that you are doing the best you can in every relationship. This is understanding and trust in yourself and your relationship skills is fundamentally important to healthy relationships and good self-esteem because when you know you are doing your part as best you can, you naturally feel confident, secure and peaceful, regardless of what the other person is doing/thinking or feeling. Imagine that! Now, come and experience it!

You’ll also learn how to tell, and what to do, if you find that you’re doing more than your fair share of the emotional work in a relationship. And you’ll know how to create a sense of true safety, trust, respect and intimacy with all the key people in your life.   And we’ll explore:

– How you can truly feel deserving of love;

– How to ask directly and respectfully, with confidence for what you need, from anyone, anytime, anywhere – without feeling scared, selfish, or having heart palpitations!; and

– How to feel confident in your ability to communicate in a way that demonstrates respect and dignity for yourself and creates safety and trust in all of your relationships.

Relationships really are quite simple. It’s just a matter of knowing the relationship equation. So join us, learn the equation, and see how easy relationships can be.

Click for Participant Feedback on ‘Mastering Relationships’

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Please Register at least 2 weeks before the event.  Agendas for the event are sent out the week before the date.

If you want to set up a subscription of more than 3 payments contact our admin office.

Let us know if you would like suggestions for accommodations to suit a variety of budgets. as well as local transportation routes in the cities we hold events in.

As always, our team is here to help you one way or another.  Just let us know how we can.

And if you live elsewhere in the world or simply prefer the convenience of working with us from your home we will meet with you via Skype, Google+ or telephone – whatever works best for you.

Posted in: 2013, workshops

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Workshops

Master Series 3 Day Eating Disorder Workshops:

– ‘Master Your Brain – Master Your Behaviour’:  Feb. 22nd to 24th, 2013 in Vancouver and March 8 to 10, 2013 in Victoria.  Our ‘Master’ Series of workshops is designed to help those who are emotional or stress eaters, struggle with bulimia, anorexia or binge eating, or are caught in the diet cycle with no lasting results, find peace and freedom with food and maintain a natural weight for their body, without the need for chronic dieting and rigorous exercise programs.  CEDRIC Counsellors teach everything participants need to know about what is triggering their frustrating thoughts and behaviours around food and other aspects of life, and how to change them once and for all!

(more…)

Posted in: 2012, Complete Recovery, Upcoming Events, workshops

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CEDRIC Centre Mindful Eating Info Package

CEDRIC Centre for Mindful Eating Info Package

The CEDRIC Centre’s specialized program helps people of all ages to lose or gain weight and to maintain a natural weight for their bodies, for life without diet and rigorous exercise regimes. We teach you how to establish a healthy relationship with food, yourself and others, how to deal with stress, anxiety and depression in ways that boost self-esteem and allow you to feel more secure as you focus less on what you eat and weigh.  See intro video for the CEDRIC Centre Mindful Eating Info Package. The CEDRIC team provides counselling in person in British Columbia, Canada, as well via skype and phone worldwide.  We offer 3-day Workshops, Hard Copy and Downloadable  Resources sold separately or accessed through our Online Program and incude: CD’s; DVD’s; Workbooks; Teleclasses, Lessons, Assignments, a book entiled, Food Is Not The Problem – Deal With What Is by CEDRIC Founder and Director Michelle Morand, MA, RCC and more! (more…)

Posted in: 2012, Audio CDs, Audio Downloads, Audios, Book Downloads, Books, Content, Product Bundles, Product Bundles, Self-Help Services, Uncategorized, Video, Video, Workbooks, Workbooks, Workbooks - Downloads, workshops

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Reasons Why Childhood Obesity Is On The Rise

reasons why childhood obesity is risingHello all, If you or someone you know has an interest in health and fitness for children I encourage you to check out this site! There is a lot more great information about eating issues in addition to the reasons why childhood obesity is rising. Below is the link for an article that site creator Len Saunders posted recently using key info and quotes from me. If you like it please pass it on! Have a great day!     Topic: Reasons Why Childhood Obesity Is On The Rise Question: Provide a few sentences why YOU think childhood obesity is on the rise. I want your opinion, not something you read. On the surface, obesity, whether in adults or children is the simple and natural outcome of eating more than our body requires given the amount of energy we are burning. The more we continue to allow ourselves as parents and as a society to focus on the surface the more this problem will continue to grow because we are missing the most important piece of this puzzle: Why are children (and adults) eating more than they are hungry for? Yes, the kinds of foods our kids are choosing is a factor; the proximity to junk foods, ie. sugary treats and processed carbs is higher than ever before and that naturally has an impact. But the amount of food our kids are ingesting is not in response to their hunger and fullness cues. If it were they would not be obese. (more…)

Posted in: 2012, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self

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How to Let Go of Self-Judgement

How to Let Go of Self-Judgement Hi Everyone, The easiest way to let go of self-judgement and set about the sometimes challenging but also fun and exciting experience of truly living life to the fullest, is remind yourself daily of the following premises until they simply become the way you live your life; no reminder necessary.
  1. The truth of human nature is that there is always a valid reason for why we feel and behave as we do.
  2. Your feelings are always perfectly appropriate for what you are telling yourself about the situation or person that seems to be triggering them.
  3. Your behaviours are always just a reaction to what you’re feeling, which, as I’ve said above, is just your natural response to what you are thinking/how you are perceiving the situation at hand.
  4. Therefore, it makes no sense whatsoever to judge or shame yourself for how you feel or what you do.
  5. What does make sense however is to learn:
a)     To immediately identify what you’re thinking (ie. what’s triggering you to feel and behave as you are) and then; b)     How to quickly assess whether your perception is accurate or not, or whether you need more information to decide. (more…)

Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self

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Food, Brain Chemistry, and Binging: Part II The Role of Dopamine

The Role of DopamineHello all, If you’re reading this series of articles you’re joining me in exploring how certain foods influence our brain chemistry and our moods and in understanding why we’re drawn to eat them, often in quantities that we know aren’t in our body’s best interest. This understanding is key to being able to freely choose to make different choices and to genuinely offer yourself understanding and compassion when you feel compelled to have those forbidden/guilt laden tasty treats. Both are important components of completely healing from your stressful relationship with food and from your body image / weight-loss roller coaster. In my last newsletter I asked you to be on the lookout for a few things so you’d be better prepared for the next few articles. If you missed that article and you’d like to catch up feel free to read it first and then come back to this one when you have time. It will really help you to see where this information can be applied to your life and you’ll get the most out of your time and effort. For this week I want to share a little education with you about how Dopamine influences us and how we can directly influence our Dopamine levels. Then in the next handful of articles we’ll be looking at specific food groups and food choices and how they directly impact our dopamine levels. When we do, you’ll see quite clearly that the reason you don’t reach for carrot sticks when you’re feeling down has nothing at all to do with willpower and everything to do with a combination of unmet needs and brain chemistry. (more…)

Posted in: 2012, Brain Chemistry, Relationship with Food

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How To Get Free Of The Diet Mentality Part V ©

Get Free Of The Diet MentalityHello! This is Part V in our Diet Mentality series (visit The CEDRIC Centre blog for immediate access to all articles in this series). If you’re new to our community, welcome! You’ll fit right in here if you are an emotional eater, find that you binge, restrict, or struggle with anorexia, bulimia or some other stressful way of relating to food and want to learn how to stop. All righty! In the past few weeks we’ve covered:
  1. The perils of both just arbitrarily restricting the amount of food you’re “allowed” to have regardless of your true hunger levels; and
  2. Of feeling obligated to eat what is placed in front of you – whether or not you like it and whether or not it is too much.
  3. We’ve also addressed the stress of labeling foods as good/bad legal/illegal and the nasty consequences of doing so.
  4. And last week we talked about what happens when we get stuck in rules about when we can eat rather than just listening to our body’s natural cues of hunger and fullness.
Whew! We’ve covered a lot already and we’re only about half-way through the key characteristics of The Diet Mentality. No wonder it’s such a quagmire and that we need guidance and support to find our way out!  That’s what my team and I are here for. So read on and take another step toward the light. This week’s Diet Mentality trait is a BIGGY! You engage in all or nothing thinking regarding food and meals. Meaning: You set strict goals and guidelines for yourself and if you waver from them at all or miss a step/day/meal you feel like a failure and make harsh judgements about your lack of willpower and inability to follow a plan. (more…)

Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, CEDRIC Centre, The Diet Mentality Series, Tips for Natural Eating

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The first step to thinking rationally (and never using food to cope again).

thinking rationally about foodThis week I want to share an article with you that will get you thinking in a whole different way. If there are ever times these days, when you find yourself feeling stuck between agreeing with someone else’s perspective or holding your ground and honouring your thoughts / feelings / experience, then it is highly likely you’ve been trained to think in an all or nothing way that sounds something like this:
  • If I acknowledge any validity in what you are saying that means I am completely negating my perspective and that makes you “right” and me “wrong.”
Or, put another way:
  • If I let you know that I understand why you think and feel as you do that means I’m saying it’s right or okay and that means you won’t take the time to acknowledge or validate my perspective, nor will you see any need to grow or change (if your perspective/approach doesn’t work for me).  In other words if I acknowledge that I understand you it means I am agreeing with you and therefore I am agreeing to things continuing to be as they are; agreeing that you are “right” and therefore I am “wrong.” I’m not okay with how things are therefore I can’t acknowledge your perspective.  (This, by the way, is the mentality that leads to most of the divorces in our society).
(more…)

Posted in: All-or-Nothing Thinking, newsletter, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Relationships 101

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How Not to Have an All-or-Nothing Conversation

talkingFollowing on the theme of approaching conversations with people, this week I want to invite you to consider a new way of thinking about issues that are sensitive or have the potential to impact your relationship with someone. In my 17 years of freedom from emotional eating I have come from being a very scared, extremely doubtful, negative, all-or-nothing, insecure little person (who thought she was absolutely the fattest, ugliest person on the planet and that everyone else thought so too) to become the person I am today. I’m certainly not issue-free or any where near perfect as my friends and family will happily attest, but open, loving, happy, optimistic, confident and secure, able to know that, while I may screw up, drop the ball, or hurt someone’s feelings, I am not bad or unworthy of love, rather I am always deserving of dignity and respect from myself and from others. (more…)

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre

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