Archive for Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on August 21, 2010
I’m going to do 100 push ups when I exercise today! All at once, too!
Forget the fact that I was only able to do 10 yesterday, or any other day before, for that matter! I think 15 was my best day. Maybe 2 sets of 15 once or twice….
But today I’m going to do 100! Guaranteed! And you know why? Because I’m tired of having weak arms. I’m tired of wishing I could do 100 and only ever doing 10 and then feeling crappy about myself for not being able to do 100 and then going days and days without doing a single one. Something’s got to change. I’m tired of this measly little 10-push-up self. No pain no gain, right!?
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Posted by mmorand on July 31, 2010
For this week’s article I’m happy to respond to a question from a telephone client on the Eastern Seaboard about stopping eating disorder triggers. I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s relevant to anyone at any stage of the journey to complete freedom from food and body image stress, whether you have an eating disorder or just feel that food focus takes up more time and energy than you’d like.
Question:
“One minute after our talk, which I found extremely insightful as I always do, I walked out of office and into my cubicle to have my lunch. I had ordered egg salad on a wrap and fruit. I was ready to eat until full and, if I wanted, to finish rest later if I got hungry. I’ve really been working hard on trying to listen to my body cues.
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Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, binge eating, body image, bulimia, compulsive eating, confusion, core beliefs, diet, diet mentality, drill sergeant, eating disorders, food to cope, guilt, guilty, natural eating, self esteem, shame, stress, stressor, triggers, underlying stressors
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on July 24, 2010
For this week’s article I am responding to a question from a reader, Anna, who, after reading last week’s article, Back to Basics, wanted some more specific information on how to overcome nighttime binging.
“I get an overwhelming sense that I need to eat at bedtime. It is almost like an obsession. I have not figured out what thought is triggering this yet. (At other times of the day it seems easier to figure out the thoughts that precede such events.) If I assume it is really hunger and decide to have something small, I am right into a binge and cannot stop with a reasonable amount. Any ideas?”
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Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, anxious, binge, binge eating, body image, boredom, bulimia, compulsive eating, drill sergeant, exploring, insecurity, learned helplessness, nighttime binging, overeat, restlesness, stressors, triggers, using food to cope
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on July 23, 2010
Well! It’s been another transformative week here at CEDRIC. Sarah Atkinson facilitated a great Phase I workshop in Victoria to a full house! And based on the feedback, it is clear that a lot of fun and learning was had by all.
Our Kelowna events for Professionals and for the general public are starting to fill up which is very exciting as it’s my first offering outside of the lower mainland. I’m looking forward to it on all fronts! My sweetheart and I may even try to fit in a holiday which would be lovely in that region in the summer (if you like heat and lakes and wine…which I most certainly do!).
We have a Phase II workshop the last weekend in August in Victoria which has 2 spaces left at this point (August 27 – 29th) and many more Phase I and Phase II events in Vancouver and Victoria in the fall and beyond.
We are also having fun planning our first ever CEDRIC Centre tropical destination retreat! Oh Yeah! If you have suggestions on where that might be held (your favorite destination) let us know. We welcome your suggestions. This event will likely be the first of many annual, all-inclusive, CEDRIC events and we anticipate it will happen in late February, early March, 2011 Again, feedback is welcome.
Below you’ll read just some of the great feedback from our Phase I participants of last weekend. And I trust you’ll enjoy the article for this week as I respond to a question from a reader about her nighttime binging.
Have a fantastic week, and don’t forget to check out the new little video we’ve got as an intro to the CEDRIC Centre on our home page. I think the folks who made it did a great job!
Love
Phase I Weekend Workshop Feedback, July 16 – 18, 2010
“The resources were great!”
“The honesty and personal disclosures of the counsellor really helped and gave me hope and faith in this process.”
“I loved the Drill Sgt. dialogue!”
“It was absolutely amazing!”
“For the last 3 days I was able to feel relaxed about food!”
“I am so grateful that I now have concrete tools I can take with me and use when I need them!”
“The breathing exercise was so helpful!”
“This is a great workshop and it has definitely opened my eyes!”
“It was such a safe, comfortable and supportive setting.”
“I liked how, if I wasn’t able to express myself fully on an issue, someone else always touched on it for me inadvertently.”
“I loved the lunchtime exercise and how I was able to check in about my hunger and fullness and then talk about it later as a group.”
“I loved the healthy assortment of food and teas!”
“I liked the progression of the weekend from food, to self, to others.”
“You are a personable facilitator, Sarah, who was perceptive in your interactions with the group!”
Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, binge eating, body image, bulimia, core beliefs, exploring, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, workshops
Posted by mmorand on July 9, 2010
Here is a wonderfully inspirational letter from one of our clients. We worked together for just 3 ½ months.
“Thank you so much for your incredible dedication in the past few months. You’ve been invaluable in helping me understand the process of overcoming food and body obsession and I will carry all these incredible tools and insights with me forever. If I could share any words with those who are considering engaging in a similar process, this is what I would like to say:
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Posted by mmorand on July 9, 2010
A topic that comes up often enough in my sessions with clients is that of not really believing or trusting the “reassuring” and “supportive” comments of the Drill Sgt. (your inner critic/champion).
What I mean is that, once you’ve identified that your Drill Sgt. is criticizing you for something and have used one of the CEDRIC tools to figure out what he’s really on about, it is common early in this healing process to want to reframe his well-intentioned but poorly-communicated support into a strong, confident statement of absolute belief and trust in our ability to succeed. This actually backfires, believe it or not, and we end up feeling just as estranged from ourselves but now we believe we don’t even have a tool we can use to help because we tried it and it didn’t work! Not quite true.
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Tags: affirmations, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, anxious, compulsive eating, drill sergeant, eating disorders, forgiveness, isolated, lonely, mistakes, perfect, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, self-loathing, triggers
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on July 7, 2010
Hello out there!
We’ve had another fabulous week here at CEDRIC with book sales, workshop preparation, new clients beginning their process with us, other clients graduating, and as always, amazing sharing and transformation on our web-based program.
And to top it all off, I just had my most favorite kind of session of all! It’s the session where, after a few short months, someone who was, for years, feeling completely controlled by food and loathing themselves 24/7 is now feeling happy, peaceful, light, free. They are no longer using food to cope. They are liking their body and enjoying exercise. They are also establishing stronger, more intimate connections with family and new friends, even potential boyfriends, after years of feeling unworthy, stupid, and completely unlovable.
I love those closure sessions where there simply isn’t anything to report or work on. Everything on the giant mountain of unfinished business that used to be ever-present and create such chronic anxiety and the need to overeat/restrict/purge is now taken care of.
Day-to-day events are met with confidence and self-trust. The future is perceived as, “Nothing to worry about – I know I’ll deal with whatever comes up when it comes up. I’m not going to sweat about the future. I’m just gonna kick back and enjoy life.”
Oh Yeah!!! Freedom!
And for this particular person, that complete about-face and solid sense of peace and trust took 4 months and a total of 14 counselling sessions (including today, which was really just a formality and tying up loose ends).
That’s it, that’s all. That’s a very typical experience, too.
I am so very excited when someone steps free completely from the food stress. It’s a whole new world and a whole new life. You’re free to be the best you can be in all ways.
I am so very touched also, when clients are willing to share their thoughts and feelings about our work together. It is such a gift to me to know how this process just works.
I invite you to explore just some of the wonderful feedback we’ve received this past week alone, from clients:
• Thanks again Michelle, you have such a wonderful way of cutting through the bullshit and getting to the point.
• I’m feeling so positive about everything right now. It feels so good to come out of the dark.
• Thank you so much for the Cedric Centre, your compassion and friendship. Everything I am learning is such a gift. Words cannot describe it.
And a little note I received about our daily centering exercises (these are a staple of our web-based program):
• These are fantastic, Michelle – I look forward to them so much.
And last, but so far from least, a letter from a client (not the one mentioned above) who just completed her work with me two weeks ago. We worked together for 3 ½ months.
“Thank you so much for your incredible dedication in the past few months. You’ve been invaluable in helping me understand the process of overcoming food and body obsession and I will carry all these incredible tools and insights with me forever. If I could share any words with those who are considering engaging in a similar process, this is what I would like to say:
You won’t regret it! If you’re anything like me, you’re here because things seem desperate, and yet, there is a voice inside you that is saying that another way is possible. You don’t have to live the rest of your life feeling anxious and unhappy around food and your body. You’re ready to make changes and to begin to focus on things that really matter to you. This process, like any other journey worth taking, will have ups and down, challenges and rewards. It also may seem to take forever to make progress, especially when compared with the “quick fix” of either a binge or crash diet. You will find, however, that in working with this gifted and dedicated team, momentum builds quickly and sooner than you think, you will be seeing things in a completely new and exciting light.
Don’t despair, you’re in good hands! Trust in this process. It is sound, makes sense and will work if your commitment to yourself and to change is strong. Keep your commitment strong by staying rooted in your compassion. Self-criticism has gotten you this far, now it’s time to switch gears and to start nurturing the part of yourself that is kind and gentle. When you make mistakes, be gentle. When you have success, celebrate. When you ask questions, be kind. When you set goals, be generous. It is amazing to feel yourself softening into self-compassion and soon, you won’t want to live anywhere else.
Congratulations! You’ve taken the first tiny but very important step in greatly improving the course of the rest of your life! I know that my work through this Centre has done exactly that for me and I couldn’t be happier about it!”
Signed,
S
So there you have it! Thank you, ladies and gents for your generosity in providing me with such amazing feedback.
As always, my team and I are here if you want to reach out and get some questions answered or begin to receive support for yourself or someone you love.
Have a great week, and enjoy this week’s free article!
Love
Tags: anorexia, binge eating, body obsession, bulimia, chronic anxiety, compulsive eating, eating disorders, food obsession, food stress, overeat, purge, purging, restrict, using food to cope
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update
Posted by mmorand on July 2, 2010
Well, I hope you’ve had a fantastic week. We’ve had an amazing response to our summer workshops! Our Phase I workshop is bursting at the seams and our Phase II event at the end of August is filling up nicely. These workshops are always fabulous events that lead to so much growth and change for participants. I can’t help but be excited for you!
Our events in Kelowna are shaping up, too. I’ll be in Kelowna on Wednesday, August 18th to provide a full day training event for professionals and a 3-hour introductory educational workshop for the general public. Registration information will be posted on our web site as of next week but if you’d like info before then, just email me directly @ mmorand@cedriccentre.com.
And in case you haven’t noticed, as of 2 weeks ago, CEDRIC officially has a podcast! Yay!! Every week there will be a download accessible through our blog directly or through iTunes. If you like, you can subscribe to it and get a notification of its posting each week.
I encourage you to have a listen. The more ways we experience a new message, the more it sinks in, that’s why we have so many different ways for you to approach your work with us.
Have a great week!
Love
Tags: binge eating, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, CEDRIC podcast, compulsive eating, eating disorders, podcast, purging
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on July 2, 2010
Last week we had a great exchange on the web-based program. Actually, we have a lot of those. It’s always such an incredibly open, respectful environment for sharing and learning. But this one in particular mirrored a recent article in which I discussed how to be okay with and taking care of yourself when you know others are upset with you. So I thought I’d share an excerpt of our dialogue here to help you to truly step free of the self-compromise and self-judgement that keeps you using food to cope.
The main story that was causing this individual such stress was this one:
“I am telling myself that it is impossible to make a decision which is honouring to my values AND guaranteed not to hurt others. (To, me that seems true.)”
My response was something like this:
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Posted by mmorand on July 2, 2010
A common theme for people is the fear of failure. When they begin working with one of our therapists or begin to join in the peer discussions on our web-based program, there is a feeling a great deal of fear and overwhelm that they are too far gone; that this process won’t work for them; that they won’t be able to figure it out; or that if they can figure it out and achieve a certain degree of freedom, they won’t be able to step completely free of their eating disorder in any lasting way.
It is perfectly appropriate to have fear and doubt in new situations. All humans do. And the degree to which people feel that fear and doubt correlates directly to how important they view success in that particular pursuit to be.
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Tags: anorexia, binge eating, body image stress, bulimia, chronic anxiety, depression, diet mentality, fear of failure, food and body focus, food and body image, harmful patterns of thinking, hope, using food to cope
Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
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