Stopping the Eating Disorder Triggers

1. You were feeling somewhat unsettled about a stressor or a few stressors in your life and some stories about how they were going to unfold or how successful you were going to be were likely starting to kick in, thus you weren’t starting out around food from a peaceful place and you weren’t fully connected to your own thoughts and emotions (if we use food to cope it means we typically check out to our own feelings and thoughts whenever we start to feel anxious/unsettled and we are in need of tools to help us notice those cues more immediately and respond to them appropriately rather than numb out to them, which really means we are numbing out to ourselves and our own, authentic experience of the world).
2. When the opportunity to have some of your favorite food arose, not the choice you had planned for yourself, there wasn’t any balance in you, just all-or-nothing thinking (again, you were already a little/lot unsettled because of underlying stressors so the all-or-nothing thinking Drill Sgt. was already up and about – the presentation of a “bad” food choice just kicked you that much faster into the food-to-cope mode of making the focus of your distress food, rather than what was triggering you initially): “That’s bad food; I should eat “diet” food; I’m bad for eating this; I’m bad for wanting this; I’m going to get fat; I’m never going to lose weight; I’m evil; I’ll never figure this out and… our favorite: someone should probably just lock me up in a room full of jelly doughnuts and throw away the key, now! I give up!!!”

• If you’re hungry, eat!
• When you’re full, stop!
• As long as you honor those 2 steps, you can truly eat anything and not be overweight! I know it for a fact from my own life and from thousands of men and women who have gone through The CEDRIC Centre program.
• If you can’t do that you’re absolutely, 100% guaranteed, using food to cope and you need tools and support to identify why, and what to do about those underlying stressors (that’s where we come in).
• Eat everything in moderation
• There are no good and bad foods, it’s only when we eat when we’re not hungry, and eat more than we’re hungry for that we have extra weight on our body. Now, of course, certain foods are healthier than others, but we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about judgements of goodness/badness, rightness/wrongness, that make us feel bad and wrong for eating or even thinking of eating certain foods, rather than realizing that in moderation nothing is “bad.” These judgements only serve to alienate us further from our needs and feelings in the moment thus increasing our need for food to numb out rather than reducing it. The diet mentality and the all-or-nothing Drill Sgt. will never do anything but make you feel stuck and crappy about yourself.
• We don’t need to focus on the kinds of foods we’re eating at this stage, only why we are eating (for hungry or emotional reasons). The truth is, once you cease needing to use food focus to cope with life, which can only happen once you’ve developed the self-esteem and confidence in yourself to handle life in competent, respectful and dignified ways, you will naturally be drawn to more honoring food choices regarding types of foods and quantities, it happens with no effort, and there is no sense whatsoever of restriction or of “I can’t have…”.
• No guilt ladies and gents! No guilt! No guilt! The only reason to feel guilty is because you’re out of integrity with what you believe is good or right for you. So if you’re feeling guilty around food, check in with yourself and ask: “Am I feeling guilty because I have some all-or-nothing thinking about what is a good food vs. a bad food, which is the diet mentality and which I am committed to tossing out the window as I drive alongside the Loch Ness?” (because that’s really just an old, stupid, misguided societal crap story that only ever made people feel bad about themselves) “Or am I feeling guilty because I’m not hungry and I’m reaching for more food and I know that means I have needs that aren’t being met and I need to take a few minutes to be with myself and identify what’s stressing me and what I can do to resolve the issue?”  If it’s the first, head to Scotland, fast!  If it’s the latter, breathe (4-7-8, or just 3 deep breaths), prove how safe it is in that moment to be in your body, in that moment, and learn to identify what’s really going on in your mind and in your life that’s making you feel so overwhelmed and stuck.

1. That what we were feeling was valid, as feelings only arise, automatically, from our thoughts which come from an instinctual sense of some need not being met, therefore, they can’t be bad, wrong, or even “too much” they just are;
2. To ask questions and seek to understand things that seem strange or don’t meet our needs in some ways;
3. To express our feelings in ways that are respectful of ourselves and of others and create safety and trust within and between;
4. To realize that there is more than one way to see everything and that all perspectives have validity given that person’s life experience and self-awareness. We don’t have to have everyone agree, or even anyone agree, in order for us to be “right” about how we feel or what we need or our opinion on something. We can hear contrary ideas and opinions and still stay with ourselves and with the truth of how we feel and what we need.