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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 22, 2010

Posted by mmorand on June 3, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Tags: anorexia, binge eating, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, community, compulsive eating, core beliefs, eating disorders, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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What are You Telling Yourself?

Posted by mmorand on May 22, 2010

You know that precious time in the morning when you lie in bed or you’re brushing your teeth or in the shower and you start to feel excited and energized about the fantasy you’re having about how much you’re going to exercise (later that day, and every day thereafter), or how much you are or aren’t going to eat that day (and every day after)? You know, those moments when you know what you need to do to be the physical form you want to be, and therefore (in your head anyway…) to be happy finally, once and for all. Only problem is, if nothing has changed in your schedule and your inner thought process and self-regard since yesterday, all you are doing when you engage in those fantasies is setting yourself up to take a brutal beating from your Drill Sgt. when you crawl in to bed at the end of the day. Think about it. If you weren’t able to find the time or the energy or the positive self-regard to make honoring choices about what you ate, whether or not and how much you exercised, and whom you spent time with and how you spent it yesterday, why on earth would today be any different? Unless you’ve actively changed your schedule and set reasonable goals based on the reality of how much energy you’ll have at the end of the day; learned to set boundaries about what you do and with whom (both at work and at home); committed to and gained skills for eating naturally (eat when hungry, stop when comfortably full)….why would anything be any different from yesterday? Yesterday you wanted to be healthier. Yesterday you wanted to exercise. Yesterday you wanted to talk to so and so about such and such. Nothing has changed in your goals from yesterday to today. So if nothing has changed in your expectations of yourself but you weren’t able to honor them yesterday, you really are beating your head against a brick wall to continue to expect that of yourself today. It’s self-harm on a major scale to continue to expect something of yourself that you aren’t yet able to do consistently without changing your approach and gaining some new skills. If this sounds like you, it’s time to stop. This is the old, Drill Sgt., irrational, motivation through criticism approach to healing and it hasn’t worked in your entire life so far, so it’s not going to work now. Accept it, let it go and actively seek a solution that does work. What would that be you ask? Well, what does work is to take a look at what you are expecting of yourself on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis in all areas of your life: primary relationship, kids (if you have them), family, friends, work, volunteer, school (classes/crafts, etc.), and your relationship with yourself. What is it that your Drill Sgt. tells you you should be doing in each of those areas in order to finally be acceptable, loved, safe, and happy (oh, and don’t forget drop-dead sexy!). Now stop for a moment and look at what you’ve written. How many hours in a day would you need to fulfill those commitments as your Drill Sgt. says you should in order to finally be “good enough?” 30? 50?…. When exactly are you supposed to get that perfect 8+ hours of sleep he expects of you?…Right. Now what if you just stopped, breathed, really – stop and breathe – be here, now, with me. Notice what you are telling yourself right here in this moment about yourself, about your expectations, about how there’s no point doing this exercise…etc. Take a moment and write out all the stories you’re telling yourself right now – even the one about how you don’t have time to write out all the stories you’re telling yourself … Now, at the end of each story add the words “and that means.” Now see what pops into your head. Keep adding “and that means” to the end of each statement until you feel like there really is no further to go. Chances are you’ve just hit the jackpot of all-or-nothing thinking. Go on, try it. If you’re reading this article it’s because you recognize you need a hand in getting to a peaceful and easy relationship with food and with your body. Why bother reading the article and acknowledging you need help if you’re not going to try and do anything new? Usually, the answer to that question sounds something like: “Because I don’t’ really think I can change or that I will be successful…it’s better to not try because if I try and fail I’ll feel like crap – at least now I can still imagine it can work…” Of course the only problem with that is that it’s not true! Nothing changes when you keep doing the same old same old. Our clients know firsthand that everything changes for the better, and quickly too, when they just say, “Enough already! I’ve got to do something!” and they reach out to us for some guidance, support and tools. If you’re tired of the morning fantasy that turns to evening self-abuse, start now to write out the process above and give yourself the gift of seeing firsthand what you’re expecting of yourself. Then ask yourself: Within the context of a balanced life, where I have time for my self-care (and energy to follow through on eating well and exercising moderately), what is reasonable to expect of myself in each of the key areas of my life? Do that for this week – let me know what comes up – and next week, we’ll talk about how to put that awareness into action. Always remember, this process isn’t hard. It’s simple. What makes it seem hard is all the time you have spent shaming and berating yourself for not being perfect and the automatic default to bad body thoughts and the use of food to cope that ensues when we feel criticized and “not good enough.” It’s time to learn how to step free of the inner power struggle and start living. Have a great week. Do your best with this piece. It will be worth your while. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC. © Michelle Morand, 2010

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, binge eating, body/mind/spirit, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, insecurity, motivation through criticism, not good enough, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, self-criticism, self-harm, triggers

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, workshops

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 20, 2010

Posted by mmorand on May 20, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Tags: compulsive eating, core beliefs, eating disorders, healing, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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Complete Recovery: Step 7

Posted by mmorand on May 14, 2010

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3, 3 1/2, Step 4, Step um, I dunno…, Step 5 and Step 6. Step 7: The final steps in the 3rd core tool For the past 8 weeks we’ve been exploring the 3 core tools you and anyone else on the planet needs to completely free yourself from a stressful relationship with food. This week marks the final installment of the sharing of the tools. What you now have is a very complete and functional toolkit to begin to handle any life experience without restricting, overeating or purging. Below you’ll see I’ve posted the full handout for you but if you’ve been following along you’ll be familiar with all the steps up to and including step # 5. I encourage you to experiment with this most valuable tool at least once a day for the next 2 weeks, whether you feel like you need it or not! J It will make a huge difference in all areas of your life and make this process move along very rapidly for you. It is quite common for people to get hooked in all-or-nothing thinking as they’re working through this process. I have mentioned that at the end of the handout so you can be reminded to be on the look out for it. But I also want to say that if you are feeling at all resistant/procrastinating in regards to using these basic tools, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it or that they don’t work, it simply means that your learned helplessness has kicked in and you’re telling yourself those old harmful all-or-nothing stories about how you can’t do it, you’re not capable, it’s going to take too long or be too hard for you to be successful. Every single client I’ve ever had got stuck in those stories and every client was able to get free by reminding themselves that those thoughts weren’t true, they were only learned helplessness (see the first 2 articles in this series) and they could just step free. It is also quite common for people to need a few sessions to integrate and fine-tune these tools for their own personal situations. Please take advantage of the fact that you’re almost there and let yourself reach out for some support if you’re at all confused or just procrastinating on using the tools. This process is simple, it doesn’t have to take a long time and you can be completely free of your stressful relationship with food forever. Just use your tools. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

List of Stressors Handout: Note: This process needs to be written down the first few times, not done in your head. If you try to do it in your head, your Drill Sgt. and his all-or-nothing thinking will get in the way and you’ll end up feeling more stuck. When you write out a list of stressors you will end the process feeling free and peaceful and will be able very soon to just do this process in your head automatically whenever you feel the slightest bit anxious – you won’t need to wait until you’re already overwhelmed and binging, purging or restricting to tune in and release yourself from the stress in your life. 1. Notice when you are engaged in any of the following coping strategies:

feeling that anxious (P.L.A.) feeling in your tummy; or

a sinking/depressed feeling; or

when you are restricting; or

thinking about binging or purging; or

you are in the middle of binging or purging; or

have just finished; or

hearing critical thoughts in your head; or

wanting to isolate; or

wanting to procrastinate; or

having a bad body thought; or

wanting to act out in anger (towards yourself or others).

These are all coping strategies. They are nothing in and of themselves. They are signposts and they exist to let you know one thing and one thing only: You have needs that aren’t being met. The proper response to noticing any of these cues is to take the following steps to seek to understand what needs have been triggered for you and what action you can take to meet that need in a way that enhances your self-esteem and all aspects of your life. And, if trying to be mindful of them all seems a tad overwhelming (as it did to me when I was first learning this process), just pick one or two to be on the lookout for – it will be enough, I promise.

2. When you notice any of those thoughts, feelings or behaviours kicking in just acknowledge aloud: “I am kicking in to using one of my coping strategies and that absolutely, no exceptions, means I’m in all-or-nothing thinking. Every time!”

3. Ask yourself: “Just prior to me feeling that sinking feeling or kicking in to the coping strategy of binging and purging, what just happened or what was I just thinking that might be stressing me out?” Invite yourself to make a note of the first 3 things that come to mind.

If you’re drawing a blank or you are absolutely convinced that the only thing that’s stressing you out is food and/or your weight, trust me, it isn’t! And try this: Consider the Matrix – past, present, and future – not just what is apparent to you in this moment. Ask yourself: “What was I just thinking about from my past or what might I have just been imagining in my future that could have triggered stress for me?” Write down your answers (these are your stressors). If you still struggle to find an answer (and you may as you’ve likely been disconnected from your emotions and thoughts for some time), try this: Write down all of the key roles you have in your life (daughter, partner, individual, professional, volunteer, student, etc.) and identify the things that you are or aren’t doing in those areas that you have judgement of (things you should/shouldn’t be doing). Allow yourself to identify your stressors using the tools above and just write one or two words to name them. This should be point form, bullets, not sentences at this point. We’re just getting out on paper a simple list of all the topic headings that may be triggering unmet needs and leading you to use one of the coping strategies above.

4. Now, for each one of your stressors ask yourself: “What is the story that I’m telling myself about this?” Ie. What should/shouldn’t be happening? What should or shouldn’t I or others have done? Where should or shouldn’t I be? Etc. etc.

5. For each story/stressor, ask yourself is there any all-or-nothing thinking in this story? (ie. can I formulate that story as a “should” statement?). If you’re not sure, or if the story feels true, just add “and that means” to the end of each statement in #4 and see what comes up – is there any all-or-nothing thinking in that story? Circle or put a mark beside the stories that are all-or-nothing.

6. Now, for each all-or-nothing story, come up with at least 3 alternative stories. Ie. what else could happen? How else could things go?

7. Then ask yourself, are any of those alternative stories equally or more likely than the original all-or-nothing one?

8. If yes, could you allow yourself to let go of the harmful all-or-nothing story?

9. If the answer is “No” just ask yourself: “What am I telling myself will happen if I allow myself to let go of this story? And is there any all-or-nothing thinking in that?” Then take steps 6 – 8 again and see what happens. I’ll bet you feel much more relaxed and peaceful.

10. If you feel anything other than lighter and clearer after this process it means that you’ve just bought in to some more all-or-nothing thinking and you need to begin again at step 3.

This process may take 15 – 30 minutes or less the first few times and soon (literally after a few go-rounds) will take just a few minutes as you begin to be able to identify more readily what’s really triggering you, zero in on the one key stressor in the moment and easily identify your all-or-nothing thinking. Remember it is the old all-or-nothing thinking and learned helplessness that prevents you from moving forward into complete freedom and lasting change. It isn’t these tools – they work every single time to help you identify and let go of any all-or-nothing thinking and to take immediate and respectful action towards meeting your needs, whatever they might be. Each time you run through these simple steps it gets easier and easier, and you will need to do it less and less as you start to shift from a default all-or-nothing mindset to a more open, possibilities mindset. Usually, after you’ve done a handful of them on paper (or computer), it takes just a minute to complete the full exercise in your head and free yourself from the sinking feeling of stuckness (learned helplessness) and the use of food to cope. Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC. © Michelle Morand, 2010

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, list of stressors, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Self

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 19, 2010

Posted by mmorand on May 14, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Welcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Hello All and welcome to another fabulous week. This past week, I had the pleasure of appearing on Fanny Kiefer’s Vancouver show, Studio 4. It was a new experience for me and it was fun! You can catch a repeat of the show on Monday, May 17. And, as you read this, I’ll be facilitating our May Victoria workshop. If you haven’t had a chance to come to one of our workshops, don’t despair, there are more workshops coming up in both Victoria and Vancouver. I’ll definitely be keeping you posted! Life – it has its ups, downs, ins, outs, “goods” and “bads.” Every day provides us with myriad opportunities for growth and myriad opportunities to change the way we think and behave. Circumstances repeat and each time they do; each time relationships end, each time we switch jobs, each time we move, each time we park at the grocery store parking lot, each time we arrive at our favorite coffee shop to find a long line and no seats….each time we experience the day-to-day events that make up a life, we are given an opportunity to think differently about them and about ourselves and therefore to feel and behave differently (remember your thoughts trigger your emotions which trigger your behaviour). Our old all-or-nothing thinking Drill Sgt. will tell us that because we behaved this way at a certain time we always will or that it’s who we are and that we should just resign ourselves to suffering, while at the same time berating us for feeling the way we do and for behaving as we do. He beats us up with his words and then takes no responsibility for our emotional and behavioural reaction to his abuse. Does that remind you of anyone from your past or present? If so, even a little bit, you’ve just discovered the genesis of your Drill Sgt. and of your use of food to cope. For the past 8 weeks I’ve been honoring my value of access to healing for all by providing you, for free, the 3 core tools that you need in order to recover completely and forever from any harmful coping strategy. I do hope you take advantage of your access to these tools, use them freely, everywhere, all the time, and share them around, too. And if you ever feel a little stuck or like the tools might not work for you, just remember this: The tools work every time you use them. No exceptions. If you’re resistant to trying the tools just check in for any all-or-nothing stories in the form of that pattern of thinking I call “learned helplessness.” It sounds something like this: I can’t; It’s too hard; It’s going to take too long; Even if I am successful this time I won’t be able to really change forever; I’ll be the one person this process doesn’t work for…..etc. etc. etc. If your mind goes there, just remember, everyone’s mind goes there. It’s part of the sickness. It’s part of having an eating disorder or of being an alcoholic, a drug addict, a gambler, a shopaholic, a workaholic, a clean freak, a perfectionist, a schizophrenic, a paranoid, a bi-polar, and anyone who is constantly anxious, depressed or completely numb. These are all just coping strategies and they share a common theme: Learned Helplessness. You’re in good company. Most of the population of the planet has this harmful, debilitating mindset to some extent in some area of their lives. Most people have to unlearn those old ways of thinking and the harmful behaviours they have created before they can feel peaceful, free, alive, vibrant, passionate and worthy. With the CEDRIC Method, a handful of sessions or a weekend workshop is often enough to set you well on your way to complete freedom. My team and I are committed to your complete and lasting healing from any stressful thinking and harmful behaviours. Let us support you to step free once and for all. Remember, your life is waiting. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, bulimia, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, growing, healing, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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Complete Recovery – Step 6

Posted by mmorand on May 8, 2010

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3, 3 1/2, Step 4, Step um, I dunno…, and Step 5. Step 6: More of the List of Stressors – Your simple key to freedom! Hello All, Continuing on with the theme from the past 6 weeks – here we go with more on the 3 core tools for complete and lasting recovery. My gift to you! I do hope you’re taking advantage of this opportunity to begin to explore these tools and see how they can benefit your life in all areas. If you’ve tried them once or twice and noticed subtle shifts, even for a moment, just imagine how profound those shifts will be once you have more familiarity and trust in these tools to alleviate any stressful thoughts and any need to use food to cope. If you can appreciate the power of these tools and want support to get “there” faster, just email or call and let us know – we’ll arrange a session for you or you can attend a workshop or join our web program. All are fabulous ways to create a life that is completely free from food and body image stress. Last week I shared the first two steps and urged/encouraged/begged you to explore them before you went on to this week’s steps. I hope you did. But if not, just pick up with this week and if it feels like it’s not clicking, just let it be okay to go back to last week and do that for a day or two – it will suffice. Then come back to this week’s assignment and you’ll be good to go! I’ve added the first steps that I shared with you last week here so you can see the flow of the process more clearly. So, if you’re savvy with the first 2 steps skip to 3, otherwise, take a mo’ and read them over before moving on – not a bad idea for us all to be repeatedly reminded of the basics. So, encourage yourself to take 10 minutes each day to work down to step 5. Next week, I’ll share the last few steps with you and you’ll be good to go! I really want to hear from you about your experience with these steps, particularly if you’re having a challenging time identifying the all-or-nothing in your thinking (stories). This is to be expected and is nothing at all to judge in yourself – we all struggle initially with separating the fact from the fiction, and that’s what I and my staff are here for. List of Stressors Handout: Note: This process needs to be written down the first few times, not done in your head. If you try to do it in your head your Drill Sgt. and his all- or- nothing thinking will get in the way and you’ll end up feeling more stuck. When you write out a list of stressors you will end the process feeling free and peaceful and will be able very soon to just do this process in your head automatically whenever you feel the slightest bit anxious – you won’t need to wait until you’re already overwhelmed and binging, purging or restricting to tune in and release yourself from the stress in your life. 1. Notice when you are engaged in any of the following coping strategies:

feeling that anxious (P.L.A.) feeling in your tummy; or
a sinking/depressed feeling; or
when you are restricting; or
thinking about binging or purging; or
you are in the middle of binging or purging; or
have just finished; or
hearing critical thoughts in your head; or
wanting to isolate; or
wanting to procrastinate; or
having a bad body thought; or
wanting to act out in anger (towards yourself or others).

These are all coping strategies. They are nothing in and of themselves. They are signposts and they exist to let you know one thing and one thing only: You have needs that aren’t being met. The proper response to noticing any of these cues is to take the following steps to seek to understand what needs have been triggered for you and what action you can take to meet that need in a way that enhances your self-esteem and all aspects of your life. And, if trying to be mindful of them all seems a tad overwhelming (as it did to me when I was first learning this process), just pick one or two to be on the lookout for – it will be enough, I promise. 2. When you notice any of those thoughts, feelings or behaviours kicking in just acknowledge aloud: “I am kicking in to using one of my coping strategies and that absolutely, no exceptions, means I’m in all-or-nothing thinking. Every time!” 3. Ask yourself: “Just prior to me feeling that sinking feeling or kicking in to the coping strategy of binging and purging, what just happened or what was I just thinking that might be stressing me out? Invite yourself to make a note of the first 3 things that come to mind. If you’re drawing a blank or you are absolutely convinced that the only thing that’s stressing you out is food and/or your weight, trust me, it isn’t! And try this: Consider the Matrix – past, present, and future – not just what is apparent to you in this moment. Ask yourself : “What was I just thinking about from my past or what might I have just been imagining in my future that could have triggered stress for me?” Write down your answers (these are your stressors). If you still struggle to find an answer (and you may as you’ve likely been disconnected from your emotions and thoughts for some time), try this: Write down all of the key roles you have in your life (daughter, partner, individual, professional, volunteer, student, etc.) and identify the things that you are or aren’t doing in those areas that you have judgement of (things you should/shouldn’t be doing). Allow yourself to identify your stressors using the tools above and just write one or two words to name them. This should be point form, bullets, not sentences at this point. We’re just getting out on paper a simple list of all the topic headings that may be triggering unmet needs and leading you to use one of the coping strategies above. 4. Now, for each one of your stressors ask yourself: “What is the story that I’m telling myself about this?” Ie.What should/shouldn’t be happening? What should or shouldn’t I or others have done? Where should or shouldn’t I be? Etc. etc. 5. For each story/stressor ask yourself is there any all-or-nothing thinking in this story? (ie. can I formulate that story as a “should” statement?). If you’re not sure, or if the story feels true, just add “and that means” to the end of each statement in #4 and see what comes up – is there any all-or-nothing thinking in that story? Circle or put a mark beside the stories that are all-or-nothing. Take some time each day with these steps, I urge you, and you’ll notice a big difference in your overall anxiety and your urgency to use food to cope. Have a fabulous week! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, bady body thought, binge eating, binging, compulsive eating, control, coping strategies, core beliefs, depressed, drill sergeant, isolate, list of stressors, procrastinate, purging, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, stress

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 18, 2010

Posted by mmorand on May 7, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Welcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Welcome to another fabulous week of the CEDRIC Centre’s on line ezine! This week’s article adds a few more pieces to one of the 3 core tools for recovery: The List of Stressors, and next week, we’ll finish it up and move on to a chat about perfectionism. Good stuff!! I’m on TV this week!: This Wednesday, the 12^th I’ll be on the Fanny Keifer show (Studio 4) in Vancouver on Shaw @ 9:00. A new experience for me! I’ve done quite a few TV appearances to share information about disordered eating, overeating, dieting, orthorexia, and about the Centre’s services too. So the experience of being in front of the camera isn’t new or scary, not like it was the first time or two. I was just chatting with a client about the tendency we have to judge ourselves for feeling anxious or insecure in new situations. It is perfectly appropriate to feel some degree of anxiety and insecurity in new situations. Everyone does. And anyone who says they don’t is not being honest with you or with themselves. There certainly are different levels of anxiety, and some people may approach new situations with a fairly low level of distress while others may be downright panicked and may not even be able to follow through on their plans as a result. The difference, with no exceptions between Person A and Person B is the degree to which they still get hooked into old core beliefs, negative self-talk and worst case-scenario thinking. The 3 core tools take care of any of those concerns in moments. You can’t expect to live life to the fullest and never feel at all anxious or unsettled. But you can expect that once you recognize that you are unsettled, you can use your 3 core tools, in moments to remove any old stories and future ideation (worst case scenario fantasies), and therefore be left with the natural, healthy appropriate niggle that any new situation calls for. This appropriate niggle is usually less than 10% of the distress that most people feel. 90% is the story, the future thinking and old crud that gets triggered simply because of the link you’ve formed, long ago, between feeling at all unsettled and automatically defaulting into learned helplessness (I can’t, I’m not good enough, It’s too overwhelming, etc.). That means, in a few short minutes, once you’ve mastered these tools you can bring yourself from overwhelmed and needing food to cope to pretty darned peaceful and enjoying the little anticipatory energy in your body when you’re in a new situation. Very fun!! Very freeing!! Victoria May Workshop: Next weekend is the Phase I workshop in Victoria, the 14 – 16 from 10 – 5 each day. We have 2 spaces free if you’d like to come. Here’s a little more feedback from past participants to give you a sense of what you can expect from attending. “The weekend workshops are amazing! The Phase I is such a great way to learn/affirm the tools and help you focus on what you need to focus on. The one tool that Michelle helped me with that REALLY made an impact for me in this workshop was the drilling down to determine the real reason or energy or thoughts behind the statements we make or those that are said to us – “and what’s important about that . . . ” I learned that it’s not about me, and that it’s ALL about me . . . depending on the situation. That’s where I became VERY clear that, for me, it’s where my brain is at, and what my beliefs in myself are and what my story is. The group situation was great – we all bonded very quickly – and everyone had ample time for individual work.” “The workshop was amazing. Michelle is a gifted facilitator and I got so much more out of the workshop in 3 days then I had in 3 months of reading her book. I’ve been watching the forums (on the web program) for the past week and have felt very strong in my understanding of the issues being discussed and the underlying issues of PLA, Alexithymia, All-or-Nothing Thinking, etc. I came away from the workshop feeling at peace for the first time in years. There were 6 participants plus Michelle. Michelle was able to meet everyone’s individual need to be heard while translating their situation to include all of us. I remember thinking when I was sharing that I was using up too much group time (my Drill Sgt. was firmly entrenched), however, as the weekend continued and we shared outside of group time, it became apparent that we were all feeling the same self-doubt and were all benefiting from each others stories. I was struck by the other participants; they were all intelligent, strong, beautiful and caring women who were deserving of all the good things that life has to offer. Yet, they struggle with the same demons that I struggle with; the nasty Drill Sgt, sky-high PLA, not trusting themselves to make ‘good’ decisions, etc. It became clear to me over the weekend that I was one of them, that I am as strong, as intelligent, as caring and maybe even as beautiful as they are. WOW!! That realization was worth the whole weekend. I decided to join the online program to keep my focus on my recovery. I have attended countless work-related workshops and know that all the best intentions to implement whatever you’ve learned are quickly put on the shelf if there is no follow-up. I’m not willing to shelve any of the things I learned during those 3 days and I’m definitely not willing to shelve this peace that I feel.” Have a fantastico week!!! And a special welcome to all of our new web program members. Our online community is growing. The dialogue is fantastic, and I’m thrilled with how everyone is making the program their own! A dream come true! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, body image, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, forgiveness, healing, insecurity, nurturing, overeating, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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Celebrating client successes. Be inspired…

Posted by mmorand on April 30, 2010

What an amazing week – or should I say month, or should I say year?! Wow! There has been so much amazing growth for our clients. The amazing feedback just keeps coming. I’d like to share a little of it with you for those of you who are still feeling some reluctance to diving in to this process. It is so important for you to know how fast and how simple this process can be. It’s all the old diet mentality stuff that takes a long time and provides no real, lasting change. The process of healing that we teach our clients at the CEDRIC Centre doesn’t have to take long and provides true, lasting success. For example: This morning I had a client in my office who started this process 1 ½ months ago, we’ve had 8 sessions total. After years of struggling and feeling insecure and “less than” and dieting and overeating and dieting and overeating, she’s already had 2 weeks of feeling on top of the world! She wore a beaming beautiful smile. She’s feeling warmer and more loving towards herself, and not feeling that urgent compulsion to eat, and she’s just getting started!!! Imagine what the next 2 months will bring, and beyond!! Oh yeah!!!! This is not the exception. It is the norm, when people just get started receiving support and start learning how to use the tools. Fast, lasting, complete healing. I also just received an email from a participant from the last weekend workshop (7 days ago) about the amazing success she’s having in her relationships and with food – no overeating or even feeling drawn to it in a week. When was the last time you had a week where you didn’t even feel drawn to overeat? Where as soon as you felt at all anxious you knew exactly what to do to take care of yourself and to let that anxiety go without using food to cope? A few sessions or a weekend workshop were all these women needed to achieve that long sought after peace and solidity. This process doesn’t have to take a long time or cost you a tonne of money. Those are just old stories, or perhaps they are your own lived experience from other things you’ve tried. You can let those stories go now, and just dive in and be completely free in a few short days at our next Phase I workshop (May 14 – 16^th) or a few weeks through our worldwide individual counselling. What suits you best? Here’s one more email I received this week from Lisa who feels solid and secure in her new approach to food through the tools she learned in our work together. Lisa took part in a weekend workshop and did some phone sessions with me to supplement her learning. Now, after decades of feeling controlled and overwhelmed by food she has this to say: “I am doing really well with the tools that you have given me. I have not used food to cope in a major way for at least 5 weeks now (I have allowed it to just become a part of my life that I haven’t even written down a ‘start date’ – which is something I definitely would have done before, especially with a diet mentality). I’ve had a couple of times where it was very, very minor but that’s about it. I have changed (I guess I just needed to give it a little more time and also allow myself to really try). I am making really good choices for myself now. There are things that you have taught me that I can honestly say I think about at lest 1x/day. I have learned from you, that if I have to ask myself if I am hungry, it is quite likely I’m not so I just ask myself how am I feeling, etc. (I’m sure you know the drill!) In asking that question to myself, I have allowed it to be okay that when I’m not hungry but want food that I don’t choose food (because it never leaves me feeling good about myself) but that I also don’t choose to “figure out what’s going on” …. I decide to just let it go. That has honestly been so freeing. Even in writing this to you I am genuinely reminded that these scenarios just don’t seem to come up like they used too. I can’t even remember the last time I even thought about using food to cope. I do remember last night though when I had my snack and wanted a piece of chocolate. I had a piece of chocolate and I took my time eating it (it was good chocolate), and I really enjoyed it. What’s cool for me is that somehow (with all of the info you have given), it has clicked in my brain that the chocolate last night is a treat not a meal! This one has helped me so much. I remember eating lunch the 2nd time with you and everyone was discussing what they were going to have… I wanted one of everything! You, on the other hand, were like, ‘Oh whatever, I guess I’ll have this …..’ You knew this was not your last meal, it was food to give your body energy, etc. I have that now. I have that natural – it’s food to give me energy! The last time we went to Boston pizza with the kids (thrilling, eh?) I ordered what I wanted, there spinach salad (you know the kind with eggs, bacon, cheese – really yummy). The only reason I am saying specifically what I ate is because my other me would have really, really wanted the spinach salad but wouldn’t have ordered it because I would have wanted one of everything, etc. – basically lived like it was always my last meal and when eating out at restaurants or at parties I would let myself use food to cope in such a HUGE way because well, we’re out and it’s a treat (hahaha, a treat that happened 1-2 x/week for sure) Anyway, I won’t go on and on I just want you to know that you have helped me more than my words could ever say. The day I went online and looked up overeating or something like that online … I will forever be grateful that Cedric Centre popped up and that you are the person behind it all. I think of you so often. I know we don’t ‘know’ each other but with a sincere heart, a thankful mind, a grateful partner (that has the woman back in his life he knew was there), kids that are just sooooooooooo happy ’cause well you know the reason….. THANK YOU just isn’t enough. Thank you. Lisa AND her family AND her friends!” Thank you ladies!! I am always so incredibly thrilled to receive your sharing about how these tools have changed your life. They certainly changed mine and led me to complete and lasting healing from binge eating disorder and exercise bulimia (also known as overeating and exercising like a fiend to keep my weight somewhat stable). We’re having a great experience of learning and sharing on our web-based program too. So if you’re wanting to start out a little more anonymously, and/or economically, I encourage you to join. It’s just $33.00 a month and provides you with all the support and tools you need to never use food to cope again, and to be a natural weight for your body without effort. This week the article is on the List of Stressors. The last tool to be shared in the core tool series. The first being the awareness of your sensations of anxiety and the use of the 4-7-8 breathing exercise; the second being the fabulous Drill Sgt. Dialogue that provides such an immediate sense of integration and inner peace!!; and now, the final piece in the healing triad – the list of stressors. Enjoy, explore, and take advantage of the workshops, counselling or web program to cement and expedite your healing! It is completely unnecessary to struggle with food and body image stress for one more week. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, insecurity, nurturing, overeating, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 17, 2010

Posted by mmorand on April 28, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, binge eating, body image, bulimia, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, forgiveness, grounding, growing, overeating, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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Complete Recovery – Step um, I dunno…

Posted by mmorand on April 24, 2010

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3, 3 1/2 and step 4. Okay, okay, as many of you noticed, we had step 4 last week in the “Three Steps to Recovery” series! I was going to call it step 3.75 but figured it would be easier to just call it step 4. The truth is there are only 3 core tools to this whole entire process of recovery from any harmful coping strategies. It’s just that it takes more than 3 articles to lay them out for you in the most effective way. So perhaps we should consider renaming this series “The key steps to learning the 3 core tools” or some such thing. The most important thing isn’t my ability to number or name my articles (thank goodness!). I’m sure you’ll agree that the most important thing is that the steps are clear and that the tools work. So bear with me in my inconsistencies in naming and numbering and just continue to experiment on your own with the tools and thoughts put forth and see for yourself how the 3 core tools change your life forever. Last week I shared with you one of the 3 core tools. It’s a great little gem that I call “the Drill Sgt. dialogue.” How’d it go? We had a great chat on the web program forum about the Drill Sgt. dialogue and how to use it. It really is amazing to see how just learning how to listen to and communicate with your inner critic leads so quickly to a greater sense of empathy and compassion for yourself and thus to a greater sense of strength, integrity, peace and ……yes, of course, to a lessened need for food to cope. You see when we truly understand why we do what we do, instead of just judging ourselves as flawed and stupid, and therefore, worthy of harm and unworthy of love, we immediately begin to feel compassion for ourselves – we don’t even have to think about it, it just happens. And, no human being who is feeling compassion for themselves can harm themselves. Regardless of whether you engage in formal diet programs or your own special creation, or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder such as anorexia (restrict), binge eating disorder (overeat), bulimia (purge), or are somewhere in between in that place we call the diet-binge-guilt cycle, if you’re thinking you can completely overcome your use of food to cope without first integrating your inner critic and learning how to experience genuine empathy and compassion for yourself, you are mistaken. And the sooner you accept that fact and set about your Drill Sgt. dialogues, the sooner you’ll be emailing me to say you’re completely free of any thoughts and behaviours relating to food and body image stress! X my heart! It is so darned ironic that the thing we need most to do to get what we most want is exactly the thing we most resist doing. This is the case with each of the 3 core tools: The 4-7-8 breathing exercise; The Drill Sgt. dialogue; and The List of Stressors. We resist connecting with ourselves, relaxing, offering ourselves compassion and empathy, and freeing ourselves from harmful old thoughts and paranoid thinking like those things are poisonous. And, they are poisonous; to our disordered eating and low self-esteem; to our co-dependence; to our depression; our anxiety; our mastery of procrastination and isolation; and to our relationship with drugs and alcohol and abusive, controlling people. But, hey, I’m all over a new way of thinking and behaving that extinguishes any of those old harmful coping strategies, providing it leaves good stuff in its wake. The 3 core tools leave nothing but good stuff! Good relationships, good feelings overall and a solid ability to stay grounded and clear in the face of stress and unexpected or painful experiences are delivered consistently when we offer ourselves compassion, empathy, self-care, and a regular reality check for our thinking. Ironically, the only reason we resist releasing this “poison” on our disordered eating and all-or-nothing Drill Sergeant is that we are still mostly operating from our old all-or-nothing mind which tells us that anything other than criticism and more whip-cracking is doomed to fail. We fear loving ourselves. We fear being kind and gentle with ourselves. We are afraid to be real and soft and vulnerable because we don’t know that we can simultaneously be strong and solid and vibrant and confident and secure. We still think it’s all-or-nothing, and that if we give up our “strength” (ie. our rigidity), we’ll be weak. It’s not like that at all. We let go of our rigidity and we become flexible, not weak. We become stronger and more solid and peaceful and happy and alive than we’ve ever been before and we feel safer and more secure in ourselves, in our body, our relationships, our careers, and our world than ever before. The only way out is through. And in the case of disordered eating, diet mentality and any other forms of self-harm, through looks like empathy and compassion, self-appreciation and self-care. Loving yourself is so easy. Hating and harming yourself is hard and takes a lot of energy – and, what’s worse is that it’s no fun! Life is for living. Smile, laugh, start living! Have courageous conversations, starting with yourself. Your Drill Sgt. is waiting, so’s your life. Next week the list of stressors! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, body image, bulimia, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, healing, insecurity, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Self

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