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Complete Recovery – Step 6

Posted by mmorand on May 8, 2010

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3, 3 1/2, Step 4, Step um, I dunno…, and Step 5. Step 6: More of the List of Stressors – Your simple key to freedom! Hello All, Continuing on with the theme from the past 6 weeks – here we go with more on the 3 core tools for complete and lasting recovery. My gift to you! I do hope you’re taking advantage of this opportunity to begin to explore these tools and see how they can benefit your life in all areas. If you’ve tried them once or twice and noticed subtle shifts, even for a moment, just imagine how profound those shifts will be once you have more familiarity and trust in these tools to alleviate any stressful thoughts and any need to use food to cope. If you can appreciate the power of these tools and want support to get “there” faster, just email or call and let us know – we’ll arrange a session for you or you can attend a workshop or join our web program. All are fabulous ways to create a life that is completely free from food and body image stress. Last week I shared the first two steps and urged/encouraged/begged you to explore them before you went on to this week’s steps. I hope you did. But if not, just pick up with this week and if it feels like it’s not clicking, just let it be okay to go back to last week and do that for a day or two – it will suffice. Then come back to this week’s assignment and you’ll be good to go! I’ve added the first steps that I shared with you last week here so you can see the flow of the process more clearly. So, if you’re savvy with the first 2 steps skip to 3, otherwise, take a mo’ and read them over before moving on – not a bad idea for us all to be repeatedly reminded of the basics. So, encourage yourself to take 10 minutes each day to work down to step 5. Next week, I’ll share the last few steps with you and you’ll be good to go! I really want to hear from you about your experience with these steps, particularly if you’re having a challenging time identifying the all-or-nothing in your thinking (stories). This is to be expected and is nothing at all to judge in yourself – we all struggle initially with separating the fact from the fiction, and that’s what I and my staff are here for. List of Stressors Handout: Note: This process needs to be written down the first few times, not done in your head. If you try to do it in your head your Drill Sgt. and his all- or- nothing thinking will get in the way and you’ll end up feeling more stuck. When you write out a list of stressors you will end the process feeling free and peaceful and will be able very soon to just do this process in your head automatically whenever you feel the slightest bit anxious – you won’t need to wait until you’re already overwhelmed and binging, purging or restricting to tune in and release yourself from the stress in your life. 1. Notice when you are engaged in any of the following coping strategies:

feeling that anxious (P.L.A.) feeling in your tummy; or
a sinking/depressed feeling; or
when you are restricting; or
thinking about binging or purging; or
you are in the middle of binging or purging; or
have just finished; or
hearing critical thoughts in your head; or
wanting to isolate; or
wanting to procrastinate; or
having a bad body thought; or
wanting to act out in anger (towards yourself or others).

These are all coping strategies. They are nothing in and of themselves. They are signposts and they exist to let you know one thing and one thing only: You have needs that aren’t being met. The proper response to noticing any of these cues is to take the following steps to seek to understand what needs have been triggered for you and what action you can take to meet that need in a way that enhances your self-esteem and all aspects of your life. And, if trying to be mindful of them all seems a tad overwhelming (as it did to me when I was first learning this process), just pick one or two to be on the lookout for – it will be enough, I promise. 2. When you notice any of those thoughts, feelings or behaviours kicking in just acknowledge aloud: “I am kicking in to using one of my coping strategies and that absolutely, no exceptions, means I’m in all-or-nothing thinking. Every time!” 3. Ask yourself: “Just prior to me feeling that sinking feeling or kicking in to the coping strategy of binging and purging, what just happened or what was I just thinking that might be stressing me out? Invite yourself to make a note of the first 3 things that come to mind. If you’re drawing a blank or you are absolutely convinced that the only thing that’s stressing you out is food and/or your weight, trust me, it isn’t! And try this: Consider the Matrix – past, present, and future – not just what is apparent to you in this moment. Ask yourself : “What was I just thinking about from my past or what might I have just been imagining in my future that could have triggered stress for me?” Write down your answers (these are your stressors). If you still struggle to find an answer (and you may as you’ve likely been disconnected from your emotions and thoughts for some time), try this: Write down all of the key roles you have in your life (daughter, partner, individual, professional, volunteer, student, etc.) and identify the things that you are or aren’t doing in those areas that you have judgement of (things you should/shouldn’t be doing). Allow yourself to identify your stressors using the tools above and just write one or two words to name them. This should be point form, bullets, not sentences at this point. We’re just getting out on paper a simple list of all the topic headings that may be triggering unmet needs and leading you to use one of the coping strategies above. 4. Now, for each one of your stressors ask yourself: “What is the story that I’m telling myself about this?” Ie.What should/shouldn’t be happening? What should or shouldn’t I or others have done? Where should or shouldn’t I be? Etc. etc. 5. For each story/stressor ask yourself is there any all-or-nothing thinking in this story? (ie. can I formulate that story as a “should” statement?). If you’re not sure, or if the story feels true, just add “and that means” to the end of each statement in #4 and see what comes up – is there any all-or-nothing thinking in that story? Circle or put a mark beside the stories that are all-or-nothing. Take some time each day with these steps, I urge you, and you’ll notice a big difference in your overall anxiety and your urgency to use food to cope. Have a fabulous week! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC. © Michelle Morand, 2010

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, bady body thought, binge eating, binging, compulsive eating, control, coping strategies, core beliefs, depressed, drill sergeant, isolate, list of stressors, procrastinate, purging, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, stress

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 18, 2010

Posted by mmorand on May 7, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Welcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Welcome to another fabulous week of the CEDRIC Centre’s on line ezine! This week’s article adds a few more pieces to one of the 3 core tools for recovery: The List of Stressors, and next week, we’ll finish it up and move on to a chat about perfectionism. Good stuff!! I’m on TV this week!: This Wednesday, the 12^th I’ll be on the Fanny Keifer show (Studio 4) in Vancouver on Shaw @ 9:00. A new experience for me! I’ve done quite a few TV appearances to share information about disordered eating, overeating, dieting, orthorexia, and about the Centre’s services too. So the experience of being in front of the camera isn’t new or scary, not like it was the first time or two. I was just chatting with a client about the tendency we have to judge ourselves for feeling anxious or insecure in new situations. It is perfectly appropriate to feel some degree of anxiety and insecurity in new situations. Everyone does. And anyone who says they don’t is not being honest with you or with themselves. There certainly are different levels of anxiety, and some people may approach new situations with a fairly low level of distress while others may be downright panicked and may not even be able to follow through on their plans as a result. The difference, with no exceptions between Person A and Person B is the degree to which they still get hooked into old core beliefs, negative self-talk and worst case-scenario thinking. The 3 core tools take care of any of those concerns in moments. You can’t expect to live life to the fullest and never feel at all anxious or unsettled. But you can expect that once you recognize that you are unsettled, you can use your 3 core tools, in moments to remove any old stories and future ideation (worst case scenario fantasies), and therefore be left with the natural, healthy appropriate niggle that any new situation calls for. This appropriate niggle is usually less than 10% of the distress that most people feel. 90% is the story, the future thinking and old crud that gets triggered simply because of the link you’ve formed, long ago, between feeling at all unsettled and automatically defaulting into learned helplessness (I can’t, I’m not good enough, It’s too overwhelming, etc.). That means, in a few short minutes, once you’ve mastered these tools you can bring yourself from overwhelmed and needing food to cope to pretty darned peaceful and enjoying the little anticipatory energy in your body when you’re in a new situation. Very fun!! Very freeing!! Victoria May Workshop: Next weekend is the Phase I workshop in Victoria, the 14 – 16 from 10 – 5 each day. We have 2 spaces free if you’d like to come. Here’s a little more feedback from past participants to give you a sense of what you can expect from attending. “The weekend workshops are amazing! The Phase I is such a great way to learn/affirm the tools and help you focus on what you need to focus on. The one tool that Michelle helped me with that REALLY made an impact for me in this workshop was the drilling down to determine the real reason or energy or thoughts behind the statements we make or those that are said to us – “and what’s important about that . . . ” I learned that it’s not about me, and that it’s ALL about me . . . depending on the situation. That’s where I became VERY clear that, for me, it’s where my brain is at, and what my beliefs in myself are and what my story is. The group situation was great – we all bonded very quickly – and everyone had ample time for individual work.” “The workshop was amazing. Michelle is a gifted facilitator and I got so much more out of the workshop in 3 days then I had in 3 months of reading her book. I’ve been watching the forums (on the web program) for the past week and have felt very strong in my understanding of the issues being discussed and the underlying issues of PLA, Alexithymia, All-or-Nothing Thinking, etc. I came away from the workshop feeling at peace for the first time in years. There were 6 participants plus Michelle. Michelle was able to meet everyone’s individual need to be heard while translating their situation to include all of us. I remember thinking when I was sharing that I was using up too much group time (my Drill Sgt. was firmly entrenched), however, as the weekend continued and we shared outside of group time, it became apparent that we were all feeling the same self-doubt and were all benefiting from each others stories. I was struck by the other participants; they were all intelligent, strong, beautiful and caring women who were deserving of all the good things that life has to offer. Yet, they struggle with the same demons that I struggle with; the nasty Drill Sgt, sky-high PLA, not trusting themselves to make ‘good’ decisions, etc. It became clear to me over the weekend that I was one of them, that I am as strong, as intelligent, as caring and maybe even as beautiful as they are. WOW!! That realization was worth the whole weekend. I decided to join the online program to keep my focus on my recovery. I have attended countless work-related workshops and know that all the best intentions to implement whatever you’ve learned are quickly put on the shelf if there is no follow-up. I’m not willing to shelve any of the things I learned during those 3 days and I’m definitely not willing to shelve this peace that I feel.” Have a fantastico week!!! And a special welcome to all of our new web program members. Our online community is growing. The dialogue is fantastic, and I’m thrilled with how everyone is making the program their own! A dream come true! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, body image, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, forgiveness, healing, insecurity, nurturing, overeating, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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Complete Recovery – Step 5

Posted by mmorand on May 1, 2010

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3, 3 1/2, Step 4, Step um, I dunno… I figure we’ll just keeping going with the steps here and have fun with the new improved way to count to 3! 🙂 This week I’m going to share with you the first few steps in the 3^rd core tool: The List of Stressors. You’ve got the 4-7-8, you’ve got the Drill Sgt. dialogue, and now (after the next 2 or 3 weeks anyway) you’ll have the List of Stressors and all that will remain in your healing is some practice and fine-tuning and tweaking of these tools for your own personal experience. The feedback on these series of articles has been amazing – thank you!!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying them and learning so much. To cement your learning and create the greatest likelihood of success for you with these tools I am going to take the liberty of offering you the List of Stressors in 3 segments. I find that if you can have a week or so to practice with the first few steps and then add a few more it all makes so much sense, it doesn’t seem at all overwhelming, you don’t get triggered into learned helplessness or all-or-nothing thinking and you actually use the tool a few times! 🙂 A few times is truly all it takes to begin to see major change in your head space, your emotions and your use of food to cope. It doesn’t have to be hard, remember? You just have to try. When I’ve shared with you all of the steps over the next few weeks, I’ll post a full copy of the list of stressors handout for your to download so you can have it anywhere anytime. As always, feel free to share these tools with anyone anywhere, I just ask that you let them know where you got them. And feel free to forward the newsletter to as many people as you think would benefit from learning more about their own inner thought processes and their use of harmful coping strategies. Okee dokee – let us begin! The List of Stressors Note: This process needs to be written down the first few times, not done in your head. Trust me. If you try to do it in your head, your Drill Sgt. and his all-or-nothing thinking will get in the way and you’ll end up feeling more stuck. When you write out a list of stressors, you will end the process feeling free and peaceful and will be able very soon to just do this process in your head automatically whenever you feel the slightest bit anxious – you won’t need to wait until you’re already overwhelmed and binging, purging or restricting to tune in and release yourself from the stress in your life. For this week I encourage you to take the following steps towards complete and lasting freedom for eating disorders, dieting, and any other harmful coping strategy: Notice when you are engaged in any of the following coping strategies:

feeling that anxious (P.L.A.) feeling in your tummy; or
a sinking/depressed feeling; or
when you are restricting; or
thinking about binging or purging; or
you are in the middle of binging or purging; or
have just finished; or
hearing critical thoughts in your head; or
wanting to isolate; or
wanting to procrastinate; or
having a bad body thought; or
wanting to act out in anger (towards yourself or others).

These are all coping strategies. They are nothing in and of themselves. They are signposts, and they exist to let you know one thing and one thing only: You have needs that aren’t being met. The proper response to noticing any of these cues is to take the following steps to seek to understand what needs have been triggered for you and what action you can take to meet that need in a way that enhances your self-esteem and all aspects of your life. (And, if trying to be mindful of them all seems a tad overwhelming (as it did to me when I was first learning this process), just pick the one or two that you think will be easiest for you to notice – it will be enough, I promise)

Whenever you catch yourself doing, thinking or feeling any of these things, acknowledge aloud: “I am kicking in to using one of my coping strategies and that absolutely, no exceptions, means I’m in all-or-nothing thinking. Every time!”

That’s it, that’s all for this week. I promise you if you keep trucking with your Drill Sgt. dialogue, your 4-7-8 (once or twice a day), and do these first 2 steps on the list of stressors, you’ll already notice a significant shift in your overall stress level and in your need for binging, purging, restricting, and any other harmful pattern. Email with any questions or sharing about how you’re doing and we’ll add the next few steps next week. Practice these 2 steps to build a solid foundation for what is to follow. It will make a huge difference. Have a great week. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, body image, compulsive eating, drill sergeant, eating disorders, healing, list of stressors, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Celebrating client successes. Be inspired…

Posted by mmorand on April 30, 2010

What an amazing week – or should I say month, or should I say year?! Wow! There has been so much amazing growth for our clients. The amazing feedback just keeps coming. I’d like to share a little of it with you for those of you who are still feeling some reluctance to diving in to this process. It is so important for you to know how fast and how simple this process can be. It’s all the old diet mentality stuff that takes a long time and provides no real, lasting change. The process of healing that we teach our clients at the CEDRIC Centre doesn’t have to take long and provides true, lasting success. For example: This morning I had a client in my office who started this process 1 ½ months ago, we’ve had 8 sessions total. After years of struggling and feeling insecure and “less than” and dieting and overeating and dieting and overeating, she’s already had 2 weeks of feeling on top of the world! She wore a beaming beautiful smile. She’s feeling warmer and more loving towards herself, and not feeling that urgent compulsion to eat, and she’s just getting started!!! Imagine what the next 2 months will bring, and beyond!! Oh yeah!!!! This is not the exception. It is the norm, when people just get started receiving support and start learning how to use the tools. Fast, lasting, complete healing. I also just received an email from a participant from the last weekend workshop (7 days ago) about the amazing success she’s having in her relationships and with food – no overeating or even feeling drawn to it in a week. When was the last time you had a week where you didn’t even feel drawn to overeat? Where as soon as you felt at all anxious you knew exactly what to do to take care of yourself and to let that anxiety go without using food to cope? A few sessions or a weekend workshop were all these women needed to achieve that long sought after peace and solidity. This process doesn’t have to take a long time or cost you a tonne of money. Those are just old stories, or perhaps they are your own lived experience from other things you’ve tried. You can let those stories go now, and just dive in and be completely free in a few short days at our next Phase I workshop (May 14 – 16^th) or a few weeks through our worldwide individual counselling. What suits you best? Here’s one more email I received this week from Lisa who feels solid and secure in her new approach to food through the tools she learned in our work together. Lisa took part in a weekend workshop and did some phone sessions with me to supplement her learning. Now, after decades of feeling controlled and overwhelmed by food she has this to say: “I am doing really well with the tools that you have given me. I have not used food to cope in a major way for at least 5 weeks now (I have allowed it to just become a part of my life that I haven’t even written down a ‘start date’ – which is something I definitely would have done before, especially with a diet mentality). I’ve had a couple of times where it was very, very minor but that’s about it. I have changed (I guess I just needed to give it a little more time and also allow myself to really try). I am making really good choices for myself now. There are things that you have taught me that I can honestly say I think about at lest 1x/day. I have learned from you, that if I have to ask myself if I am hungry, it is quite likely I’m not so I just ask myself how am I feeling, etc. (I’m sure you know the drill!) In asking that question to myself, I have allowed it to be okay that when I’m not hungry but want food that I don’t choose food (because it never leaves me feeling good about myself) but that I also don’t choose to “figure out what’s going on” …. I decide to just let it go. That has honestly been so freeing. Even in writing this to you I am genuinely reminded that these scenarios just don’t seem to come up like they used too. I can’t even remember the last time I even thought about using food to cope. I do remember last night though when I had my snack and wanted a piece of chocolate. I had a piece of chocolate and I took my time eating it (it was good chocolate), and I really enjoyed it. What’s cool for me is that somehow (with all of the info you have given), it has clicked in my brain that the chocolate last night is a treat not a meal! This one has helped me so much. I remember eating lunch the 2nd time with you and everyone was discussing what they were going to have… I wanted one of everything! You, on the other hand, were like, ‘Oh whatever, I guess I’ll have this …..’ You knew this was not your last meal, it was food to give your body energy, etc. I have that now. I have that natural – it’s food to give me energy! The last time we went to Boston pizza with the kids (thrilling, eh?) I ordered what I wanted, there spinach salad (you know the kind with eggs, bacon, cheese – really yummy). The only reason I am saying specifically what I ate is because my other me would have really, really wanted the spinach salad but wouldn’t have ordered it because I would have wanted one of everything, etc. – basically lived like it was always my last meal and when eating out at restaurants or at parties I would let myself use food to cope in such a HUGE way because well, we’re out and it’s a treat (hahaha, a treat that happened 1-2 x/week for sure) Anyway, I won’t go on and on I just want you to know that you have helped me more than my words could ever say. The day I went online and looked up overeating or something like that online … I will forever be grateful that Cedric Centre popped up and that you are the person behind it all. I think of you so often. I know we don’t ‘know’ each other but with a sincere heart, a thankful mind, a grateful partner (that has the woman back in his life he knew was there), kids that are just sooooooooooo happy ’cause well you know the reason….. THANK YOU just isn’t enough. Thank you. Lisa AND her family AND her friends!” Thank you ladies!! I am always so incredibly thrilled to receive your sharing about how these tools have changed your life. They certainly changed mine and led me to complete and lasting healing from binge eating disorder and exercise bulimia (also known as overeating and exercising like a fiend to keep my weight somewhat stable). We’re having a great experience of learning and sharing on our web-based program too. So if you’re wanting to start out a little more anonymously, and/or economically, I encourage you to join. It’s just $33.00 a month and provides you with all the support and tools you need to never use food to cope again, and to be a natural weight for your body without effort. This week the article is on the List of Stressors. The last tool to be shared in the core tool series. The first being the awareness of your sensations of anxiety and the use of the 4-7-8 breathing exercise; the second being the fabulous Drill Sgt. Dialogue that provides such an immediate sense of integration and inner peace!!; and now, the final piece in the healing triad – the list of stressors. Enjoy, explore, and take advantage of the workshops, counselling or web program to cement and expedite your healing! It is completely unnecessary to struggle with food and body image stress for one more week. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, insecurity, nurturing, overeating, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 17, 2010

Posted by mmorand on April 28, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, binge eating, body image, bulimia, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, forgiveness, grounding, growing, overeating, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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Complete Recovery – Step um, I dunno…

Posted by mmorand on April 24, 2010

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3, 3 1/2 and step 4. Okay, okay, as many of you noticed, we had step 4 last week in the “Three Steps to Recovery” series! I was going to call it step 3.75 but figured it would be easier to just call it step 4. The truth is there are only 3 core tools to this whole entire process of recovery from any harmful coping strategies. It’s just that it takes more than 3 articles to lay them out for you in the most effective way. So perhaps we should consider renaming this series “The key steps to learning the 3 core tools” or some such thing. The most important thing isn’t my ability to number or name my articles (thank goodness!). I’m sure you’ll agree that the most important thing is that the steps are clear and that the tools work. So bear with me in my inconsistencies in naming and numbering and just continue to experiment on your own with the tools and thoughts put forth and see for yourself how the 3 core tools change your life forever. Last week I shared with you one of the 3 core tools. It’s a great little gem that I call “the Drill Sgt. dialogue.” How’d it go? We had a great chat on the web program forum about the Drill Sgt. dialogue and how to use it. It really is amazing to see how just learning how to listen to and communicate with your inner critic leads so quickly to a greater sense of empathy and compassion for yourself and thus to a greater sense of strength, integrity, peace and ……yes, of course, to a lessened need for food to cope. You see when we truly understand why we do what we do, instead of just judging ourselves as flawed and stupid, and therefore, worthy of harm and unworthy of love, we immediately begin to feel compassion for ourselves – we don’t even have to think about it, it just happens. And, no human being who is feeling compassion for themselves can harm themselves. Regardless of whether you engage in formal diet programs or your own special creation, or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder such as anorexia (restrict), binge eating disorder (overeat), bulimia (purge), or are somewhere in between in that place we call the diet-binge-guilt cycle, if you’re thinking you can completely overcome your use of food to cope without first integrating your inner critic and learning how to experience genuine empathy and compassion for yourself, you are mistaken. And the sooner you accept that fact and set about your Drill Sgt. dialogues, the sooner you’ll be emailing me to say you’re completely free of any thoughts and behaviours relating to food and body image stress! X my heart! It is so darned ironic that the thing we need most to do to get what we most want is exactly the thing we most resist doing. This is the case with each of the 3 core tools: The 4-7-8 breathing exercise; The Drill Sgt. dialogue; and The List of Stressors. We resist connecting with ourselves, relaxing, offering ourselves compassion and empathy, and freeing ourselves from harmful old thoughts and paranoid thinking like those things are poisonous. And, they are poisonous; to our disordered eating and low self-esteem; to our co-dependence; to our depression; our anxiety; our mastery of procrastination and isolation; and to our relationship with drugs and alcohol and abusive, controlling people. But, hey, I’m all over a new way of thinking and behaving that extinguishes any of those old harmful coping strategies, providing it leaves good stuff in its wake. The 3 core tools leave nothing but good stuff! Good relationships, good feelings overall and a solid ability to stay grounded and clear in the face of stress and unexpected or painful experiences are delivered consistently when we offer ourselves compassion, empathy, self-care, and a regular reality check for our thinking. Ironically, the only reason we resist releasing this “poison” on our disordered eating and all-or-nothing Drill Sergeant is that we are still mostly operating from our old all-or-nothing mind which tells us that anything other than criticism and more whip-cracking is doomed to fail. We fear loving ourselves. We fear being kind and gentle with ourselves. We are afraid to be real and soft and vulnerable because we don’t know that we can simultaneously be strong and solid and vibrant and confident and secure. We still think it’s all-or-nothing, and that if we give up our “strength” (ie. our rigidity), we’ll be weak. It’s not like that at all. We let go of our rigidity and we become flexible, not weak. We become stronger and more solid and peaceful and happy and alive than we’ve ever been before and we feel safer and more secure in ourselves, in our body, our relationships, our careers, and our world than ever before. The only way out is through. And in the case of disordered eating, diet mentality and any other forms of self-harm, through looks like empathy and compassion, self-appreciation and self-care. Loving yourself is so easy. Hating and harming yourself is hard and takes a lot of energy – and, what’s worse is that it’s no fun! Life is for living. Smile, laugh, start living! Have courageous conversations, starting with yourself. Your Drill Sgt. is waiting, so’s your life. Next week the list of stressors! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, binge eating, body image, bulimia, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, healing, insecurity, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Self

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update – Week 16, 2010

Posted by mmorand on April 20, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, binge eating, body/mind/spirit, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorder workshops, eating disorders, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, workshops

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

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Complete Recovery: Step 4 Befriending The Drill Sgt.

Posted by mmorand on April 16, 2010

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3 and 3 1/2. So, who couldn’t relate to Maryanne and her all-or-nothing thinking from last week’s article? And that was just the first part of her day! If you use food to cope, the chances are very, very good that you experience constant 24/7 chatter in your head about everything you’ve ever done, are doing, and are even possibly thinking of doing from the perspective of the all-or-nothing Drill Sgt. This chatter isn’t warm, fuzzy, self-loving, reassuring chatter just to keep you company as you move through your day. No. Unfortunately this chatter is loud, nasty, critical, constantly assuming the very worst about you and your capabilities and encouraging you to compromise your authentic feelings and needs so as not to stand out, attract attention, hurt anyone’s feelings, etc. This voice that I refer to as The Drill Sgt., is doing its very, very best to try to keep you out of harm’s way. It does this, unfortunately, by both ruminating on every little thing you’ve ever done that didn’t (seemingly) go perfectly, and by obsessing about everything that might possibly go wrong in the future. The underlying belief that he’s operating from is that if he can consistently remind you of everything you’ve done “wrong” and everything you might do “wrong” you will be safe and never, ever make a mistake again. Thus you will be safe, you will be perfect, you will be loved, and life will be one long blissful ride. Well…..maybe in Hollywood movies but in reality mistakes are for learning, second chances must be given by ourselves to ourselves in order for us to learn and to grow. It is inappropriate and abusive to expect anyone to be perfect. It is inappropriate and abusive to not allow people to make mistakes and learn from them. Your Drill Sgt. was raised in an environment where the models also believed in this rigid, right/wrong, all/nothing, no-second-chances approach to life and love. He’s just doing exactly what he was taught to, bless his little well-intentioned heart. Now, consider Georgette. Georgette is your “friend.” You’ve known her since you were infants. You’ve grown up together, and though there are times you might like to, you can’t really even imagine life without Georgette. Georgette isn’t a very open-minded, forward-thinking, positive person. She’s had some painful experiences in her life and she continuously defaults to looking on the dark side and worst case scenario of everything. She’s a bit of a drag. Georgette is constantly reminding you, every time you spend time with her, of all the things you didn’t do perfectly and of the choices you made that didn’t meet needs for her. She refers to them as your mistakes and failures. Every single one you’ve ever made comes up again and again, a la Georgette. She seems to delight in telling you about all the things that you’re likely to do wrong in the future or that others are going to think and feel and do in relation to you, as well as sending you little “warning” and “reminder” emails, texts, voicemails, tweets, Facebook messages, and notes, so that every where you go, you are reminded about all the things that haven’t worked perfectly in your life (from your Georgette’s perspective). To put it mildly, Georgette is a drag. And she definitely needs help to begin to see the world in a more positive light, or at least to keep her ruminations and worries to herself. If Georgette were an ex-partner you’d have called the police and got a restraining order (hopefully). If she were a sibling or a parent you’d have created your life in such a way that you spent little or no time with them. You’d have blocked her #, blocked her emails, taken her off your twitter and Facebook friends, and you might even have another friend cruise the house for the little notes so you don’t have to see them. Well, if you use food to cope, Georgette is alive and well, 24/7 in your head. And she needs a wee talking to. Georgette (ie. Your Drill Sgt.) needs to hear that the way she’s speaking to you does nothing to help you in any way, shape or form. It doesn’t prepare you, it undermines you. It doesn’t strengthen you and toughen your skin. It wears you down, makes you insecure and makes you easy prey for bullies and creeps, and passive-aggressive meanies. In other words, it creates a greater likelihood that those old painful and harmful situations will be repeated and that you’ll be even less able to protect and care for yourself in ways that honor you and maintain your dignity. Thank you, Georgette! The 24/7 reminders of what you’ve done “wrong” and of what is therefore “wrong” with you are simply your own inner personification of your primary role models for nurturing and care. Think about it. Who were the key people in your life and how did they express their concern about you and your behaviours? How did they educate and guide you when they saw you making a mistake or struggling in some way? Did they criticize you? Did they judge you? Did they shame or ridicule you? Did they neglect you, give you the silent treatment; withhold love and affection? How well did they let you know that mistakes are a part of life, a part of learning? Did they make sure you knew that they loved you and that you were perfect just as you were? Did they reassure you that you were competent, capable, intelligent, lovable, worthy of care and affection? The way that the key people in your life ‘cared’ for you, naturally becomes internalized by us as the vulnerable little people in their care, as “what we deserve,” “what is true,” and therefore “what we must just continue to accept in the form of treatment from others and from ourselves.” Thus your inner Drill Sgt. (your own Georgette), springs to life. Your Drill Sgt. speaks with great power and authority. You likely never even question the validity or necessity of his perspective and ramblings. You’ve been trained for many years to accept that kind of talk and the chronic anxiety and depressed feelings it triggers. You’ve developed a fairly ingenious coping strategy (a few of them likely) to find a way to have a moment or two, here and there, of “peace” from the Drill Sgt.’s negative judgements and ruminations:

You’ll focus on food;
You’ll isolate from others (the Drill Sgt. is less triggered when the threat of another’s judgement isn’t as great);
You’ll procrastinate on doing tasks that the Drill Sgt. will judge you for or that he has said you won’t likely do well on;
You’ll perhaps use alcohol or certain prescription or illegal drugs to distance from the anxiety and depression that his negative rantings trigger;
You’ll avoid certain events or situations that some part of you thinks might be fun or really wants to try (because you can’t guarantee you’ll be perfect at them and you don’t want to hear from the Drill Sgt. and feel the anxiety and sadness his rantings trigger);
You’ll spend money you don’t have or buy things you don’t need (or both) just to keep you occupied;
You’ll preoccupy yourself with other people’s thoughts, feelings and needs and compromise your own needs for self-care and consideration in order to make others happy, or to avoid upsetting them.

These are just a few of the common coping strategies that you might use. Most humans will use some of these, here and there, throughout their lives when they feel anxious or overwhelmed in a certain situation. It’s when the overwhelm and anxiety never stops that we begin to rely on these ways of being more and more and they begin to take over as our only way of getting through the day. This is when we would be labeled as having an addiction. And we do it, all of us, with no exceptions, to try and shut out the 24/7 chatter of the Drill Sgt. and his negative all-or-nothing, judgemental thinking. His chatter makes us so anxious, depressed and overwhelmed that we need to find a way to tune him out. We don’t know any other way than to numb or distract ourselves. Hence, we end up with two problems instead of one. Now we have a harmful coping strategy that we default to whenever we feel at all anxious or unsettled, even if appropriately so, and we still have the nasty inner chatter of the Drill Sgt. and those harmful old core beliefs that he keeps on feeding us minute after minute. The good news is, you can take care of both pieces simultaneously. The Drill Sgt. dialogue is your tool for attending to the Drill Sgt. chatter in your noggin. And the List of Stressors is your tool for attending to the urgent desire for the use of food to cope or any other of your coping strategies. Let’s explore the Drill Sgt. dialogue today and we’ll look at the List of Stressors next week. The Drill Sgt. dialogue is a very simply, super quick tool that does two things simultaneously:

It proves to you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that regardless of how it seems on the surface, the Drill Sgt.’s intention is always, always, no exceptions, positive. He means well. He’s just very dysfunctional in his delivery of his message of caring and concern and support. Trust me.
It also is the fastest and easiest way to educate that critical voice in your head on a more effective approach to supporting and encouraging you, and therefore, serves to integrate the Drill Sgt., in his more positive and supportive approach, into the rest of your being. This means you no longer feel fragmented, broken, small, fraudulent, bad, wrong, flawed, etc.

The strength you will feel when you integrate your Drill Sgt. and truly feel whole, perhaps for the first time, in your conscious awareness, is amazing. It creates a sense of safety and peace within the core of your being that cannot be shaken by anything that happens outside of you regardless of what or who it is doing or saying whatever. The Drill Sgt. dialogue goes like this:

You hear your Drill Sgt. saying something critical about what you have done, what you are doing or thinking, or what you might do or think.
You say: “What is your intention in saying that?” or “Help me to understand what is it you’re seeking to achieve in saying that?” (whichever one suits you best)
Your Drill Sgt. responds with his rationale for making that comment. And to whatever he says you say: “What is important about that?”
He responds. And you say, to whatever he responds: “And what is important about that?”
He responds. And you say, to whatever he responds: “And what is important about that?”
He responds. And you say, to whatever he responds: “And what is important about that?”
He responds. And you say, to whatever he responds: “And what is important about that?”
Are you getting the picture? You just keep saying “And what is important about that?” until you feel a shift within you. You will know it when you feel it. You will experience a sense of release within and an “ah-ha” in your being. You get it! You understand! You understand what the Drill Sgt. was really trying to say, what he was really trying to achieve in his criticism and judgement and because you understand you don’t feel angry, you don’t feel hurt, you don’t feel shut down or anxious, you don’t want to eat. You simply want to say: “I appreciate your intention, thank you, and saying that to me isn’t a helpful or constructive way of achieving that goal. Next time how about just saying….”
Your Drill Sgt. says, “Okay,” and you move on until the next Drill Sgt. comment, and you repeat. The more diligently you attend to the Drill Sgt. in this way, the faster he gets it and the faster you get to that place of true integration, strength and confidence.

Here’s an example for you: Maryanne hears her Drill Sgt. saying: “You can’t even think of looking for another job until you lose weight.” She asks him: “What is your intention in saying that?” He replies: “Well, no one is going to hire you until you lose weight, you’re too fat.” She asks: “What is important about me not being fat?” He replies: “You look bad.” She asks: “What is important about me not looking bad?” He replies: “People will judge you.” She asks: “What is important about people not judging me?” He replies: “If people judge you, you will be rejected.” She asks: “What is important about me not being rejected?” He replies: “If you get rejected you’ll feel bad.” She asks: “What is important about me not feeling bad?” He replies: “You won’t be happy.” She asks: “What is important about me being happy?” He replies: “Well, then you’ll feel good about yourself.” At which point you authentically say something like: “Wait a minute. You’re telling me that every time you tell me I can’t do something because I’m “too fat” you’re really just wanting to protect me from rejection so I’ll feel happy and good about myself?” Your Drill Sgt. says: “Yes” You say: “I appreciate your intention is to make me feel happy, but the way you’re going about doing that makes me feel worse and it makes me want to numb out with food which makes me even less happy. Next time you want me to be happy and you’re concerned I’m about to do something that might lead to a painful situation, can you just say: ‘I’m worried that you might get hurt, I want you to be happy.’” D.S.: “Okay – no problem.” You: “Thank you.” Big sigh of relief and relaxation. Have a great week, enjoy experimenting with this fabulous tool for integration and self-awareness. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update – Week 15, 2010

Posted by mmorand on April 14, 2010 CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update

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Complete Recovery – Step 3 and a Half

Posted by mmorand on April 10, 2010

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery on our blog. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery – 1, 2, 3. I received some wonderful feedback from you readers this past week about the last few articles I’ve written. Some of you posted them to the blog so I feel free to share them openly here. For future info if you are okay with me sharing your feedback with others you can still email to me directly as many of you do, just let me know in your email if I can share it as is, or anonymously, or not at all. If you don’t specify I won’t share it at all. And if your feedback comes in anonymously (ie. no email address etc.) I won’t share it as I feel an obligation to my readers to at least have a sense of whose feedback I’m sharing (ie. that you’re a person and not a corporation etc.). Here’s a great reminder from Judy:

“The idea of writing out your stressors at the moment when you have the overwhelming impulse to eat is a powerful tool indeed! Who would have ever thought it could be so easy! When I do this I am shocked by what sets me off, even sometimes things I wouldn’t have thought upset me so badly.”

And here’s a very affirming piece of sharing from Christy:

“Thank you so much Michelle, I always want to send you some cash after I read your articles because they are so valuable. I too had eating disorders like yours and can identify completely. I eventually got help at Mental Health here in Victoria, but after that, I was ready for your Centre. I am forever grateful for your Centre, the time I spent there with Karen and the group I was in, and your ongoing support. On my journey, I have found Echart Tolle, whose philosophy complements your teachings. The new thing I am experiencing is being able to make mistakes. If I were to judge myself, I would say that I am making mistakes that I should have made back as a teen, but as long as I am making them now and learning from them, I can move ahead out of my rut. In particular for me is asking for or accepting money in return for my work, which is difficult because of my diminished sense of self-worth. By not numbing out with food after selling myself short, I am able to feel the pain of my mistake, comfort myself without food and learn from it. Again, thank you for your excellent and all too rare insight, clarity and dedication. If there is a way I can donate to the Centre in return for your free emails, please let me know. Yours truly, Christy Gain.”

Thank you Christy, and Judy. I appreciate your feedback and sharing very much. The greatest gift you can give me and the Centre is your continued health and commitment to being the best that you can be. Your freedom from food stress is what puts the bounce in our step. Just keep enjoying the articles, contributing when you feel compelled to share, and if you feel so moved, share with others, out there in your day-to-day world, our newsletter and about the success you’ve experienced with our support and tools. That would be perfect!

All-or-Nothing Thinking 101 Continued

I speak about all-or-nothing thinking so often with clients and at educational events that I am very often reminded by the questions that attendees will ask during or after a presentation or session, that most people really don’t know what all-or-nothing thinking is. I mean of course you can get a sense of it from the title: “all” or “nothing.” You might assume from that phrase that we are talking about extreme thinking, absolutes, good and bad, right and wrong, only one possible approach or solution, some rigid and perhaps even, self-righteous thinking, and you would be absolutely (no pun intended) right. However, if I asked you to give me an example of all-or-nothing thinking or show me places where it continually catches you and messes up your day, could you? Now if you’re starting to squirm a little, don’t worry, you’re in great company. You see, the all-or-nothing thinking is the culprit. It is the cause of your current suffering and very likely, a major contributor to your past suffering and to any future suffering you’re imagining experiencing. Thus, learning how to identify and step clear of your all-or-nothing thinking is key to you living the quality of life you desire in all ways, including a complete removal of the use of food to cope and any stressful food and body focus. It is very simple to learn to let your old all-or-nothing thinking go, but as I said last week, it’s a really tough thing to do on your own because the old brain is slippery and even when you begin to explore you thoughts with the intent of routing out the all-or-nothing, you will often find, without support, that you were unsuccessful. This leaves you feeling more stuck and defeated than before and perhaps, turning to food to cope with your frustration. Unfortunately, many people never stop to consider that it wasn’t that exploring their thoughts more consciously didn’t work, it’s just that a new all-or-nothing thought snuck in, and without an external observer, or a very clear, step-by-step process that you commit to writing out so you can see your thoughts more clearly, the new all-or-nothing thought comes in like a whisper, completely unnoticed and you buy it hook, line and sinker and are back to feeling stuck and hopeless. Hence, it is key to make sure you’re using your tools for attending to all-or-nothing thinking properly and that you’re not getting caught in a more subtle all-or-nothing thought once you have learned to catch the more surface/obvious ones. I am sure I’ve mentioned before that I have had clients who have been purging, binging and restricting for decades completely cease these behaviours in a matter of 5-10 sessions (that’s 2-3 months), never to begin again. And it is important to note that these many men and women did not just “stop” the behaviour, they truly felt no pull, no compulsion. They were completely free of the food and body stress that had plagued them for years. That is the most important part to me, to be honest. I am not at all content for a client to just stop behaviourally using their coping strategy. That’s still not success as far as I am concerned. Complete and lasting recovery looks like not even thinking about it and like feeling completely at ease in your body and around any food any time. That’s what we call success and learning to identify and attend, respectfully, to your all-or-nothing thinking is a key component of that complete and lasting success. It’s easy, you just have to learn how and have some support to do what I call “fine-tuning and tweaking” to ensure you feel confident in your ability to know when and how to use your tools. Let me share some examples of all-or-nothing thinking with you so you can begin to look for them in your own thinking and release yourself from their grasp. Next week we’ll explore this even further. Maryanne was planning all day to go to the gym after work. She had committed herself to it in the morning and had been reminding herself of that commitment throughout the day. By 5:00 however, her energy was down and she just wanted to go home after a long and stressful work day. She battled with herself all the way home, trying to pressure herself to go to the gym. But before she knew it, she found herself in her home and in the fridge, all night. Maryanne was a victim of all-or-nothing thinking. And not just during the day at work, but on her way home, and all night at home. Here’s how:

Maryanne didn’t feed herself much throughout the day because she was trying to make up for the extra food she had consumed the night before so she restricted and did not listen to the needs of her body for food. Now she feels more fatigued than she otherwise would have been simply because her body is drained of fuel. “I ate too much yesterday so I have to restrict today, no matter how hungry I feel I’ll only eat X, and no matter what I’ll go to the gym and work off some calories too.”
Here Maryanne is so stuck in her all-or-nothing that without knowing it, she sets herself up in the morning to not have enough energetic resources to follow through on her gym plans. The same thing she did yesterday, and the day before… Thus, in her Drill Sgt.’s mind, she has demonstrated yet again her laziness, lack of willpower, and lack of trustworthiness.
The statement: “I ate too much yesterday” may be true. Only Maryanne can say if she felt that familiar overfull and lethargic feeling we get from having too much to eat in one sitting. But every statement after that is all-or-nothing:
“So I have to restrict.” Here our Maryanne is so stuck in the diet mentality that she believes that the only solution to having had extra calories the night before is to make herself go hungry for some of the day today. This is called the diet- binge-guilt cycle. She’s unwittingly setting herself up for a binge by restricting and not honoring her body’s need for consistent fueling throughout the day. At some point her body’s basic need for survival and sustenance is going to hormonally override her mind and its need for a certain pant size. She’s doomed before she even leaves the house to repeat her diet-binge-guilt pattern today unless she begins to let go of the all-or-nothing story “I have to restrict,” and instead says something like: “I overate yesterday. My body doesn’t feel as good as it could today as a result. Let’s take a moment to figure out what might have triggered me (out comes my list of stressors) and today I’m going to eat smaller amounts throughout the day when I notice I’m hungry, stopping when I’m comfortably full, and that means I’ll have more energy at the end of my day to do some exercise and I won’t feel so ravenous and exhausted when I get home that I want to eat everything in the house and then some.” (This is such a mature, balanced, self-caring approach to food and life. It is so self-respecting and can only lead to a more enjoyable day and a less stressful night. Yay Maryanne!)
“No matter how hungry I feel I’ll only eat X.” Here, Maryanne is missing the mark entirely. She’s focusing on the food and not on the “why” she overate the day before. She overate the day before for 2 simple reasons, she uses food to cope and she was stressed (in large part because of her forced restriction and self-judgement), and because was approaching food with severe all-or-nothing thinking (ie. good and bad foods; until I weigh X I’m not allowed to eat Y, etc.) rather than simply asking herself the following questions that just naturally arise in the minds of those people who don’t struggle at all with food stress: “Am I hungry?” yes? “What do I feel like having?” Ok, let’s have that. “Am I full?” Yes? “Okay, time to stop, man that was good!” Quiet mind, no Drill Sgt., easy peasy.
Maryanne made her day end just like the day before because she was still focusing on food in a diet mentality way and restricting herself rather than just encouraging herself to learn to identify and manage her stress about other things more directly and to practice the simple steps of eat when hungry stop when full everything in moderation you can always have more later. Ah, well, there’s always tomorrow! Wait! That’s all-or-nothing too Maryanne! You don’t have to wait till tomorrow. You can start now to wait until you get hungry to eat and then to listen to your body about fullness cues while more consciously attending to any stressors that might be triggering you to feel overwhelmed or want to numb out or judge yourself.
“No matter what, I’ll go to the gym and work off some calories.” Here, Maryanne has set herself up, big time. This all-or-nothing story leaves no room for anything to change or for her energy to be low. She either goes to the gym or she hears about it from her Drill Sgt. all night. She could have said, “I’d really like to fit in some exercise today, what do I need to do in the way of self-care today at work to make sure I have the energy for that?” That would have worked much better. Or even, “I don’t feel like going to the gym now, I’m too pooped for a full workout, I think I’ll just get off the bus earlier and walk a few extra blocks for my exercise today.” Ahhhh, so much more honoring than either forcing oneself to exercise a fatigued and undernourished body or just going straight home and pigging out. Balance, respect, big-picture living, rather than rigid, stuck, all-or-nothing. Simply by noticing when she’s feeling anxious or stuck or resistant and checking in for any all-or-nothing thinking (any shoulds, must-haves, must-dos or must happen a certain way or else) Maryanne has so, so many chances all day long to turn her day around and to care for herself and to arrive home feeling more balanced and less stressed, frantic, and desperate for food or to numb out.

You see, it’s not all-or-nothing. If you miss an opportunity to catch some all-or-nothing thinking, you’ll get another one. What matters isn’t that you missed that first one but that you don’t keep spiraling into all-or-nothing and say, “Well, I screwed that one up. I guess I’m screwed for the day – I’ll just start again tomorrow,” but instead say, “Well, that was some all-or-nothing thinking back there, what else could I have done in that situation or in response to that thought? Let’s do that next time.” Life is for learning. If we don’t permit ourselves to learn from our missteps and to cut ourselves some slack when we aren’t perfect and instead, default into old training, we make it unsafe for us to learn and grow. There’s no purpose or value in that whatsoever. It only cements you in your current half-life. I could take you through Maryanne’s thoughts on the drive home, her thoughts when she gets home, her thoughts as she eats, her thoughts as she lies in bed, etc., but they would all have a similar flavor (no pun here either!). Be on the lookout for your own stuck, sinking, anxious feeling and ask yourself what you were just telling yourself. Look for any shoulds/musts, etc., and if you find them, which you absolutely will, see if you can begin to simply say, “That’s all-or-nothing thinking. It’s what keeps me stuck. What is another way of thinking about or of approaching this situation that could also be a possibility?” Play around with that and we’ll fill it out a bit more for you next week. And if you’re just joining this series of articles I urge you to head back to Step 1 and read it and Step 2 before you explore this piece. It’ll only take a few minutes and will make this process much more successful for you. Have a fabulous week! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, insecurity, recovery, self care, self esteem, self worth

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Self

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