Posts Tagged recovery

Afraid to Make Mistakes?

Afraid to Make MistakesEver feel afraid to make mistakes? You can’t expect yourself to do something perfectly the first time around. In fact, you won’t be perfect (i.e. never make mistakes) right out of the gate (or ever for that matter). If you expect that or believe that there are others who are able to do that, you will sabotage yourself and you will never move forward. If you carry the belief that you have to be perfect and that if you can’t be perfect and guarantee that you’ll not make a mistake you’re not even going to bother trying something, not only are you going to experience a very stifled and rigid existence but you’ll probably feel anxious and on the verge of a breakdown most of the time. That kind of thinking is supreme all-or-nothing thinking and it is what is keeping you stuck in all areas of your life, guaranteed. If you use food to cope, you likely had a primary caregiver or mentor in your life who did not allow mistakes, someone who shamed, blamed, criticized or judged you for not doing something perfectly – or rather the way they thought it should be done. (more…)

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (4) →

CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 23, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Hello out there! It’s been a supremely busy week here at CEDRIC! Wow! We’ve had many new clients reaching out to us from different parts of the world (thank you Skype!) who are exploring the many different services we have to offer. It finally feels like my dream of a centre that provides a sense of community and connectedness for those who struggle with food and body frustration is coming true!! Last night I gave a presentation to a large group of counselling professionals in Victoria.  And I will be traveling to Kelowna and Calgary in the Summer (or early Fall) to present to professionals and to the general public there. We may even hold our very, very first 3-day transformative workshop in Kelowna and Calgary. There definitely seems to be a lot of interest, and I can appreciate it’s easier for me to travel to you than for all of you to travel to me!  If you’re interested in an event in your city, or if you live in Kelowna or Calgary and want to be kept informed of events, let me know. Clearly, people are getting interested in what we have to offer and with our individual counselling, our workshops, our book and other materials and now our new Web-Based program for complete recovery, we are finally able to offer what seems to be the perfect blend of counselling support, resources, peer connection (as much or as little as you like) and healing at a price that everyone can truly afford. Yay!!!!!!!! In case you didn’t read the article from last week, entitled “Review Time” I’ve included a piece of feedback I received from a reader about their experience of the article. Our blog and newsletter provide you with free tools every week so that you can start to better understand why you do what you do with food and what you can start to do to achieve complete freedom. Don’t buy into the old bogus story that certain professionals still push, and therefore, certain of your friends and family might still believe, that once you’ve got an eating disorder, you’ve got it for life. That is so untrue and I find it ridiculous and frustrating that people are told such things. It is akin to the old story that the world is flat, or that cigarettes are really good for you! It is so very common for people who work with us for just a few months to walk away with complete freedom – that lasts!  Sometimes a person’s process takes a bit longer, but never are they stuck with a stressful relationship with food for life. You see, most approaches to eating disorder treatment never actually help you to understand the underlying triggers, separate from food and body image, that you experience in your day-to-day world. You just can’t be truly successful in any lasting way with just a meal plan and some medication to level out your emotions. The problem isn’t solved, just masked over. And what will happen if for some reason you forget or want to stop following your meal plan? Have you learned to trust yourself around food and to eat when hungry and stop when full? Likely not. Complete and lasting recovery from any harmful relationship with food such as dieting, compulsive overeating, bulimia, and anorexia requires you to be able to trust yourself around food. And that’s really not that hard to do when you are able to understand why you developed that stressful connection in the first place and what you can do, now, in the present to attend to that underlying trigger in a way that truly demonstrates respect for you. So, if you’re on the sidelines wondering if, after all the other things you’ve tried, you could possibly be successful and truly free, the answer is a resounding YES!!! You just have to try something that actually works! And here we are! Here’s Judy’s feedback from last week’s article: “I love how you simplify this! I have spent my life in the all-or-nothing mode, and now I see how this thinking is affecting so many aspects of my life. I would have never identified it as having anything to do with my out-of-balance eating behaviours! Very enlightening. Practicing telling myself the truth is like whacking my way through dense underbrush one step at a time. The all-or-nothing way has become such a well worn pathway, and a hard one to leave behind. Thank you Michelle.” Thank you Judy!  I’m so glad that this clicked for you! Have a great week everyone. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →

CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 22, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update This week has been a beautiful blend of individual clients, web program connections, groups, workshop preparation and community outreach. I’ve been very touched to receive many calls and emails from past clients expressing their appreciation for the freedom and peace they experience in their lives as a result of their work with us. I know from personal experience through my own eating disorder (binge eating and exercise bulimia) that freedom from the 24/7 food and body focus is so incredibly amazing, it’s truly like starting to live for the very first time. Here’s a little of the feedback for you to enjoy with me. And remember, if you’re not experiencing this kind of peace and freedom yourself that’s only because you need a few simple tools and some support to learn how to use them. A few weeks with this process and your life will be changed for the better forever, and it will just keep getting better and better! “There isn’t a day that goes by that you and your wonderful centre don’t enter my mind!” “Thank you so much for your counselling and your support, I will always be so thankful and have you in the back of my mind if I feel myself slipping in the whole ways. It feels so good to have food as a friend.” “I must have connected with some things that we worked on last year as I am more content with life and losing weight.” “Thank you also for the inspiring book and all the brilliant and effective tools you provide in the online programme. You are truly saving my life.” And, a reminder that our summer workshops are coming up fast! On the weekend of July 16-18, you can come to a Phase I workshop in either Victoria or Vancouver, and on August 27-29, you can join us for Phase II in Victoria. Our 3-day transformational workshops are truly that. They don’t just get you to stop binging or purging or restricting, they give you the solutions to the underlying problems in your life. When you remove underlying triggers, you have absolutely no need and no desire to continue in your stressful relationship with food and you are free to choose not to. Really, it becomes a choice – your choice! Have a great week! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →

CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 21, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Hello and welcome to the CEDRIC Centre weekly update for Week 21. At the Centre: This past week we have been busy with our individual clients, both in person (at the Centre) and on the telephone (around the world). We’ve been enjoying some wonderful sharing and healing; just amazing, supportive dialogue, among our web program members. You know, I always wanted to create a space where people who are working to overcome food and body image stress could connect safely, respectfully and achieve their goals with lots of tools and support. In fact, I had that vision in mind when I named the CEDRIC Centre (Community Eating Disorder and Related Issues Counselling Centre). It was the word ‘community’ that was most important to me as I wanted to make sure that others knew that they were not alone; that there was an entire community of men and women growing, healing, supporting each other, in a safe container with lots of practical tools. I feel very, very excited about the potential of this program and very fortunate to witness the healing that is taking place and the incredible support being offered between members. Updates on CEDRIC in Vancouver and Victoria: This past weekend I was in Vancouver (yet again!) and found CEDRIC’s Vancouver home! We’re nice and central, just off major bus routes but in the most absolutely lovely home you can imagine! I can’t wait to meet with you there – but it will have to wait a bit as that space doesn’t become ours until September. This gives me lots of time to get my team ready (or rather, if I’m completely truthful! to get myself ready to be with my team less!!!). Current Michelle clients please note – I will be in Victoria 2 days a week and making space to meet with you then so I am not gone. And I will be accessible by telephone to my current distance clients and to any Victoria clients who want to work with me that way, too. Sarah Atkinson will be taking over as primary therapist in Victoria and the rest of our team will remain as is. We have a wonderful group of therapists and body workers and admin support and I feel blessed to have them. As a team, we provide intensive healing programs to individuals from all over the world and enable them to heal from their stressful relationship with food, whether anorexia, bulimia, or overeating, quickly and completely. In fact, we had two healing plan graduates last week and, while I was sad to see them go, I was so thrilled with the peace and joy they exuded. Education in the Community: I was at Camosun College this week, presenting to a group of professionals and students, and was very touched by the warm welcome I received and the gratitude expressed by attendees for my time. It is the mandate of the CEDRIC Centre to provide education and support for those struggling with a stressful relationship with food, and to that end, we make it a priority to speak at educational institutions to blossoming professionals and individuals at large to create more awareness about why people might develop disordered eating patterns and what to do to help them. There are very, very few resources in our province, our country, our continent…for healing from food and body stress, and we take our role as educators and supporters very seriously. We are committed to supporting you to experience complete and lasting recovery, and we have the programs, materials, and staff to make that a reality no matter how long you’ve been struggling or what you’ve tried before. I hope you had a week filled with growth and happiness. But if not, remember, we are here to show you how to step free completely from your stressful relationship with food, quickly and forever. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →

What are You Telling Yourself?

You know that precious time in the morning when you lie in bed or you’re brushing your teeth or in the shower and you start to feel excited and energized about the fantasy you’re having about how much you’re going to exercise (later that day, and every day thereafter), or how much you are or aren’t going to eat that day (and every day after)? You know, those moments when you know what you need to do to be the physical form you want to be, and therefore (in your head anyway…) to be happy finally, once and for all.  Only problem is, if nothing has changed in your schedule and your inner thought process and self-regard since yesterday, all you are doing when you engage in those fantasies is setting yourself up to take a brutal beating from your Drill Sgt. when you crawl in to bed at the end of the day. Think about it. If you weren’t able to find the time or the energy or the positive self-regard to make honoring choices about what you ate, whether or not and how much you exercised, and whom you spent time with and how you spent it yesterday, why on earth would today be any different? Unless you’ve actively changed your schedule and set reasonable goals based on the reality of how much energy you’ll have at the end of the day; learned to set boundaries about what you do and with whom (both at work and at home); committed to and gained skills for eating naturally (eat when hungry, stop when comfortably full)….why would anything be any different from yesterday? Yesterday you wanted to be healthier. Yesterday you wanted to exercise. Yesterday you wanted to talk to so and so about such and such. Nothing has changed in your goals from yesterday to today. So if nothing has changed in your expectations of yourself but you weren’t able to honor them yesterday, you really are beating your head against a brick wall to continue to expect that of yourself today. It’s self-harm on a major scale to continue to expect something of yourself that you aren’t yet able to do consistently without changing your approach and gaining some new skills. If this sounds like you, it’s time to stop. This is the old, Drill Sgt., irrational, motivation through criticism approach to healing and it hasn’t worked in your entire life so far, so it’s not going to work now. Accept it, let it go and actively seek a solution that does work. What would that be you ask? Well, what does work is to take a look at what you are expecting of yourself on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis in all areas of your life: primary relationship, kids (if you have them), family, friends, work, volunteer, school (classes/crafts, etc.), and your relationship with yourself.  What is it that your Drill Sgt. tells you you should be doing in each of those areas in order to finally be acceptable, loved, safe, and happy (oh, and don’t forget drop-dead sexy!). Now stop for a moment and look at what you’ve written. How many hours in a day would you need to fulfill those commitments as your Drill Sgt. says you should in order to finally be “good enough?”  30? 50?…. When exactly are you supposed to get that perfect 8+ hours of sleep he expects of you?…Right. Now what if you just stopped, breathed, really – stop and breathe – be here, now, with me. Notice what you are telling yourself right here in this moment about yourself, about your expectations, about how there’s no point doing this exercise…etc. Take a moment and write out all the stories you’re telling yourself right now – even the one about how you don’t have time to write out all the stories you’re telling yourself … Now, at the end of each story add the words “and that means.” Now see what pops into your head. Keep adding “and that means” to the end of each statement until you feel like there really is no further to go. Chances are you’ve just hit the jackpot of all-or-nothing thinking. Go on, try it. If you’re reading this article it’s because you recognize you need a hand in getting to a peaceful and easy relationship with food and with your body. Why bother reading the article and acknowledging you need help if you’re not going to try and do anything new? Usually, the answer to that question sounds something like: “Because I don’t’ really think I can change or that I will be successful…it’s better to not try because if I try and fail I’ll feel like crap – at least now I can still imagine it can work…” Of course the only problem with that is that it’s not true! Nothing changes when you keep doing the same old same old. Our clients know firsthand that everything changes for the better, and quickly too, when they just say, “Enough already! I’ve got to do something!” and they reach out to us for some guidance, support and tools. If you’re tired of the morning fantasy that turns to evening self-abuse, start now to write out the process above and give yourself the gift of seeing firsthand what you’re expecting of yourself. Then ask yourself: Within the context of a balanced life, where I have time for my self-care (and energy to follow through on eating well and exercising moderately), what is reasonable to expect of myself in each of the key areas of my life? Do that for this week – let me know what comes up – and next week, we’ll talk about how to put that awareness into action. Always remember, this process isn’t hard. It’s simple. What makes it seem hard is all the time you have spent shaming and berating yourself for not being perfect and the automatic default to bad body thoughts and the use of food to cope that ensues when we feel criticized and “not good enough.” It’s time to learn how to step free of the inner power struggle and start living. Have a great week. Do your best with this piece. It will be worth your while. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC. © Michelle Morand, 2010

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →

CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 20, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update This past week was quite a whirlwind at CEDRIC with two weekend workshops (one facilitated by myself at the centre in Victoria and one at the Saanich Commonwealh Place, facilitated by Sarah Atkinson. Thank you Sarah! And earlier that week I was in Vancouver for a guest appearance on the Fanny Kiefer show, Studio 4. It was a lot of fun and I hope that the segment helped lots of people to get clear on the distinction between using food to cope and simply enjoying food. The 3-day weekend workshop was truly amazing. We had a full room, with a group of women that immediately bonded and supported each other to learn and share. It was wonderful! And what amazing weather!!! This week is a long weekend in Canada so I’ll be spending some time just hanging out with my family and then on Tuesday I’ll be presenting at Camosun College to a group of students in their Health Professionals program. I am amazed at how our web-based program base continues to grow each week. It is so inspiring to see how members are sharing and supporting each other with such great wisdom and compassion. It truly is the worldwide community for healing that I’ve imagined ever since I was in my early 20s and got the idea to start the centre. And it’s only just begun! I hope that you have had a week of insights and growth and increasing peace within. If not, it’s time to reach out and join a workshop, our web program or come (or phone) for some individual support or a personalized intensive healing plan. Our success rate is second to none and our approach, however you work with us, is clear, simple and fast. I hear often from people who have been reading our newsletter for a year or two before they attend a workshop or get some individual support who say, “If I had known I could have felt this peaceful and free this fast, I would have done this years ago!” I encourage you to learn from their learning. If you struggle in any way with food or body image – don’t wait to start truly healing; stop fiddling around with diets and exercise programs that don’t resolve the root of the problem; and if you’ve had counselling somewhere else before and you’re still struggling, it doesn’t mean you didn’t get something valuable or that you are as “good” as you’re going to get, it simply means that you are still missing some of the key tools for recovery that only the CEDRIC Method offers from 17 years of specialization and program development. I wrote an article recently about the underlying thought processes that will keep you stuck using food to cope. I encourage you to read it, if you haven’t already, and begin to understand more about why you do what you do. Then you’ll likely feel much more energized as you freely step into this process of complete and lasting recovery! One more note, we have a Phase II workshop in Vancouver June 11 – 13th. This workshop is for any individual clients and web program clients, anyone who’s read the book, and anyone who has attended a Phase I workshop and wants to fine-tune their core tools! Join me and put the finishing touches on your freedom from a stressful relationship with food. Peace awaits! Have a great week, Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →

Complete Recovery: Step 7

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery1, 2, 3, 3 1/2, Step 4, Step um, I dunno…, Step 5 and Step 6. Step 7: The final steps in the 3rd core tool For the past 8 weeks we’ve been exploring the 3 core tools you and anyone else on the planet needs to completely free yourself from a stressful relationship with food. This week marks the final installment of the sharing of the tools. What you now have is a very complete and functional toolkit to begin to handle any life experience without restricting, overeating or purging. Below you’ll see I’ve posted the full handout for you but if you’ve been following along you’ll be familiar with all the steps up to and including step # 5.  I encourage you to experiment with this most valuable tool at least once a day for the next 2 weeks, whether you feel like you need it or not! J It will make a huge difference in all areas of your life and make this process move along very rapidly for you. It is quite common for people to get hooked in all-or-nothing thinking as they’re working through this process. I have mentioned that at the end of the handout so you can be reminded to be on the look out for it. But I also want to say that if you are feeling at all resistant/procrastinating in regards to using these basic tools, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it or that they don’t work, it simply means that your learned helplessness has kicked in and you’re telling yourself those old harmful all-or-nothing stories about how you can’t do it, you’re not capable, it’s going to take too long or be too hard for you to be successful. Every single client I’ve ever had got stuck in those stories and every client was able to get free by reminding themselves that those thoughts weren’t true, they were only learned helplessness (see the first 2 articles in this series) and they could just step free. It is also quite common for people to need a few sessions to integrate and fine-tune these tools for their own personal situations. Please take advantage of the fact that you’re almost there and let yourself reach out for some support if you’re at all confused or just procrastinating on using the tools. This process is simple, it doesn’t have to take a long time and you can be completely free of your stressful relationship with food forever. Just use your tools. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand List of Stressors Handout: Note: This process needs to be written down the first few times, not done in your head. If you try to do it in your head, your Drill Sgt. and his all-or-nothing thinking will get in the way and you’ll end up feeling more stuck. When  you write out a list of stressors you will end the process feeling free and peaceful and will be able very soon to just do this process in your head automatically whenever you feel the slightest bit anxious – you won’t need to wait until you’re already overwhelmed and binging, purging or restricting to tune in and release yourself from the stress in your life. 1. Notice when you are engaged in any of the following coping strategies:
  1. feeling that anxious (P.L.A.) feeling in your tummy; or
  2. a sinking/depressed feeling; or
  3. when you are restricting; or
  4. thinking about binging or purging; or
  5. you are in the middle of binging or purging; or
  6. have just finished; or
  7. hearing critical thoughts in your head; or
  8. wanting to isolate; or
  9. wanting to procrastinate; or
  10. having a bad body thought; or
  11. wanting to act out in anger (towards yourself or others).
These are all coping strategies. They are nothing in and of themselves. They are signposts and they exist to let you know one thing and one thing only: You have needs that aren’t being met. The proper response to noticing any of these cues is to take the following steps to seek to understand what needs have been triggered for you and what action you can take to meet that need in a way that enhances your self-esteem and all aspects of your life. And, if trying to be mindful of them all seems a tad overwhelming (as it did to me when I was first learning this process), just pick one or two to be on the lookout for – it will be enough, I promise.

2. When you notice any of those thoughts, feelings or behaviours kicking in just acknowledge aloud:  “I am kicking in to using one of my coping strategies and that absolutely, no exceptions, means I’m in all-or-nothing thinking. Every time!”

3. Ask yourself: “Just prior to me feeling that sinking feeling or kicking in to the coping strategy of binging and purging, what just happened or what was I just thinking that might be stressing me out?”  Invite yourself to make a note of the first 3 things that come to mind.

If you’re drawing a blank or you are absolutely convinced that the only thing that’s stressing you out is food and/or your weight, trust me, it isn’t! And try this: Consider the Matrix – past, present, and future – not just what is apparent to you in this moment. Ask yourself: “What was I just thinking about from my past or what might I have just been imagining in my future that could have triggered stress for me?” Write down your answers (these are your stressors). If you still struggle to find an answer (and you may as you’ve likely been disconnected from your emotions and thoughts for some time), try this: Write down all of the key roles you have in your life (daughter, partner, individual, professional, volunteer, student, etc.) and identify the things that you are or aren’t doing in those areas that you have judgement of (things you should/shouldn’t be doing). Allow yourself to identify your stressors using the tools above and just write one or two words to name them. This should be point form, bullets, not sentences at this point. We’re just getting out on paper a simple list of all the topic headings that may be triggering unmet needs and leading you to use one of the coping strategies above.

4. Now, for each one of your stressors ask yourself: “What is the story that I’m telling myself about this?” Ie. What should/shouldn’t be happening? What should or shouldn’t I or others have done? Where should or shouldn’t I be? Etc. etc.

5. For each story/stressor, ask yourself is there any all-or-nothing thinking in this story? (ie. can I formulate that story as a “should” statement?). If you’re not sure, or if the story feels true, just add “and that means” to the end of each statement in #4 and see what comes up – is there any all-or-nothing thinking in that story? Circle or put a mark beside the stories that are all-or-nothing.

6. Now, for each all-or-nothing story, come up with at least 3 alternative stories. Ie. what else could happen? How else could things go?

7. Then ask yourself, are any of those alternative stories equally or more likely than the original all-or-nothing one?

8. If yes, could you allow yourself to let go of the harmful all-or-nothing story?

9. If the answer is “No” just ask yourself: “What am I telling myself will happen if I allow myself to let go of this story? And is there any all-or-nothing thinking in that?” Then take steps 6 – 8 again and see what happens. I’ll bet you feel much more relaxed and peaceful.

10. If you feel anything other than lighter and clearer after this process it means that you’ve just bought in to some more all-or-nothing thinking and you need to begin again at step 3.

This process may take 15 – 30 minutes or less the first few times and soon (literally after a few go-rounds) will take just a few minutes as you begin to be able to identify more readily what’s really triggering you, zero in on the one key stressor in the moment and easily identify your all-or-nothing thinking. Remember it is the old all-or-nothing thinking and learned helplessness that prevents you from moving forward into complete freedom and lasting change. It isn’t these tools – they work every single time to help you identify and let go of any all-or-nothing thinking and to take immediate and respectful action towards meeting your needs, whatever they might be. Each time you run through these simple steps it gets easier and easier, and you will need to do it less and less as you start to shift from a default all-or-nothing mindset to a more open, possibilities mindset. Usually, after you’ve done a handful of them on paper (or computer), it takes just a minute to complete the full exercise in your head and free yourself from the sinking feeling of stuckness (learned helplessness) and the use of food to cope. Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC. © Michelle Morand, 2010

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →

CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 19, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Hello All and welcome to another fabulous week. This past week, I had the pleasure of appearing on Fanny Kiefer’s Vancouver show, Studio 4. It was a new experience for me and it was fun! You can catch a repeat of the show on Monday, May 17. And, as you read this, I’ll be facilitating our May Victoria workshop. If you haven’t had a chance to come to one of our workshops, don’t despair, there are more workshops coming up in both Victoria and Vancouver.  I’ll definitely be keeping you posted! Life – it has its ups, downs, ins, outs, “goods” and “bads.” Every day provides us with myriad opportunities for growth and myriad opportunities to change the way we think and behave. Circumstances repeat and each time they do; each time relationships end, each time we switch jobs, each time we move, each time we park at the grocery store parking lot, each time we arrive at our favorite coffee shop to find a long line and no seats….each time we experience the day-to-day events that make up a life, we are given an opportunity to think differently about them and about ourselves and therefore to feel and behave differently (remember your thoughts trigger your emotions which trigger your behaviour). Our old all-or-nothing thinking Drill Sgt. will tell us that because we behaved this way at a certain time we always will or that it’s who we are and that we should just resign ourselves to suffering, while at the same time berating us for feeling the way we do and for behaving as we do. He beats us up with his words and then takes no responsibility for our emotional and behavioural reaction to his abuse. Does that remind you of anyone from your past or present? If so, even a little bit, you’ve just discovered the genesis of your Drill Sgt. and of your use of food to cope. For the past 8 weeks I’ve been honoring my value of access to healing for all by providing you, for free, the 3 core tools that you need in order to recover completely and forever from any harmful coping strategy. I do hope you take advantage of your access to these tools, use them freely, everywhere, all the time, and share them around, too. And if you ever feel a little stuck or like the tools might not work for you, just remember this: The tools work every time you use them. No exceptions. If you’re resistant to trying the tools just check in for any all-or-nothing stories in the form of that pattern of thinking I call “learned helplessness.” It sounds something like this: I can’t; It’s too hard; It’s going to take too long; Even if I am successful this time I won’t be able to really change forever; I’ll be the one person this process doesn’t work for…..etc. etc. etc.   If your mind goes there, just remember, everyone’s mind goes there. It’s part of the sickness. It’s part of having an eating disorder or of being an alcoholic, a drug addict, a gambler, a shopaholic, a workaholic, a clean freak, a perfectionist, a schizophrenic, a paranoid, a bi-polar, and anyone who is constantly anxious, depressed or completely numb. These are all just coping strategies and they share a common theme: Learned Helplessness. You’re in good company. Most of the population of the planet has this harmful, debilitating mindset to some extent in some area of their lives. Most people have to unlearn those old ways of thinking and the harmful behaviours they have created before they can feel peaceful, free, alive, vibrant, passionate and worthy. With the CEDRIC Method, a handful of sessions or a weekend workshop is often enough to set you well on your way to complete freedom. My team and I are committed to your complete and lasting healing from any stressful thinking and harmful behaviours. Let us support you to step free once and for all. Remember, your life is waiting. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →

Complete Recovery – Step 6

This post is part of a series about Complete Recovery. If you’d like to read all of the blog posts in the series, see The Three Steps to Complete Recovery1, 2, 3, 3 1/2, Step 4, Step um, I dunno…, and Step 5. Step 6: More of the List of Stressors – Your simple key to freedom! Hello All, Continuing on with the theme from the past 6 weeks – here we go with more on the 3 core tools for complete and lasting recovery. My gift to you! I do hope you’re taking advantage of this opportunity to begin to explore these tools and see how they can benefit your life in all areas. If you’ve tried them once or twice and noticed subtle shifts, even for a moment, just imagine how profound those shifts will be once you have more familiarity and trust in these tools to alleviate any stressful thoughts and any need to use food to cope. If you can appreciate the power of these tools and want support to get “there” faster, just email or call and let us know – we’ll arrange a session for you or you can attend a workshop or join our web program. All are fabulous ways to create a life that is completely free from food and body image stress. Last week I shared the first two steps and urged/encouraged/begged you to explore them before you went on to this week’s steps. I hope you did. But if not, just pick up with this week and if it feels like it’s not clicking, just let it be okay to go back to last week and do that for a day or two – it will suffice. Then come back to this week’s assignment and you’ll be good to go! I’ve added the first steps that I shared with you last week here so you can see the flow of the process more clearly. So, if you’re savvy with the first 2 steps skip to 3, otherwise, take a mo’ and read them over before moving on – not a bad idea for us all to be repeatedly reminded of the basics. So, encourage yourself to take 10 minutes each day to work down to step 5. Next week, I’ll share the last few steps with you and you’ll be good to go!  I really want to hear from you about your experience with these steps, particularly if you’re having a challenging time identifying the all-or-nothing in your thinking (stories). This is to be expected and is nothing at all to judge in yourself – we all struggle initially with separating the fact from the fiction, and that’s what I and my staff are here for. List of Stressors Handout: Note: This process needs to be written down the first few times, not done in your head. If you try to do it in your head your Drill Sgt. and his all- or- nothing thinking will get in the way and you’ll end up feeling more stuck. When  you write out a list of stressors you will end the process feeling free and peaceful and will be able very soon to just do this process in your head automatically whenever you feel the slightest bit anxious – you won’t need to wait until you’re already overwhelmed and binging, purging or restricting to tune in and release yourself from the stress in your life. 1. Notice when you are engaged in any of the following coping strategies:
  1. feeling that anxious (P.L.A.) feeling in your tummy; or
  2. a sinking/depressed feeling; or
  3. when you are restricting; or
  4. thinking about binging or purging; or
  5. you are in the middle of binging or purging; or
  6. have just finished; or
  7. hearing critical thoughts in your head; or
  8. wanting to isolate; or
  9. wanting to procrastinate; or
  10. having a bad body thought; or
  11. wanting to act out in anger (towards yourself or others).
These are all coping strategies. They are nothing in and of themselves. They are signposts and they exist to let you know one thing and one thing only: You have needs that aren’t being met. The proper response to noticing any of these cues is to take the following steps to seek to understand what needs have been triggered for you and what action you can take to meet that need in a way that enhances your self-esteem and all aspects of your life. And, if trying to be mindful of them all seems a tad overwhelming (as it did to me when I was first learning this process), just pick one or two to be on the lookout for – it will be enough, I promise. 2. When you notice any of those thoughts, feelings or behaviours kicking in just acknowledge aloud:  “I am kicking in to using one of my coping strategies and that absolutely, no exceptions, means I’m in all-or-nothing thinking. Every time!” 3. Ask yourself: “Just prior to me feeling that sinking feeling or kicking in to the coping strategy of binging and purging, what just happened or what was I just thinking that might be stressing me out?  Invite yourself to make a note of the first 3 things that come to mind. If you’re drawing a blank or you are absolutely convinced that the only thing that’s stressing you out is food and/or your weight, trust me, it isn’t! And try this: Consider the Matrix – past, present, and future – not just what is apparent to you in this moment. Ask yourself : “What was I just thinking about from my past or what might I have just been imagining in my future that could have triggered stress for me?” Write down your answers (these are your stressors). If you still struggle to find an answer (and you may as you’ve likely been disconnected from your emotions and thoughts for some time), try this: Write down all of the key roles you have in your life (daughter, partner, individual, professional, volunteer, student, etc.) and identify the things that you are or aren’t doing in those areas that you have judgement of (things you should/shouldn’t be doing). Allow yourself to identify your stressors using the tools above and just write one or two words to name them. This should be point form, bullets, not sentences at this point. We’re just getting out on paper a simple list of all the topic headings that may be triggering unmet needs and leading you to use one of the coping strategies above. 4. Now, for each one of your stressors ask yourself: “What is the story that I’m telling myself about this?” Ie.What should/shouldn’t be happening? What should or shouldn’t I or others have done? Where should or shouldn’t I be? Etc. etc. 5. For each story/stressor ask yourself is there any all-or-nothing thinking in this story? (ie. can I formulate that story as a “should” statement?). If you’re not sure, or if the story feels true, just add “and that means” to the end of each statement in #4 and see what comes up – is there any all-or-nothing thinking in that story? Circle or put a mark beside the stories that are all-or-nothing. Take some time each day with these steps, I urge you, and you’ll notice a big difference in your overall anxiety and your urgency to use food to cope. Have a fabulous week! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, the self-help approach with the book, or our Food is Not the Problem Online Membership Program, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food. Sign up for our free newsletter today (see the left top side of your screen). Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive product discounts and are first in line to get on all the latest new at CEDRIC. © Michelle Morand, 2010

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery

Leave a Comment (0) →

CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 18, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Welcome to another fabulous week of the CEDRIC Centre’s on line ezine!  This week’s article adds a few more pieces to one of the 3 core tools for recovery: The List of Stressors, and next week, we’ll finish it up and move on to a chat about perfectionism. Good stuff!! I’m on TV this week!: This Wednesday, the 12th I’ll be on the Fanny Keifer show (Studio 4) in Vancouver on Shaw @ 9:00. A new experience for me!  I’ve done quite a few TV appearances to share information about disordered eating, overeating, dieting, orthorexia, and about the Centre’s services too. So the experience of being in front of the camera isn’t new or scary, not like it was the first time or two. I was just chatting with a client about the tendency we have to judge ourselves for feeling anxious or insecure in new situations. It is perfectly appropriate to feel some degree of anxiety and insecurity in new situations. Everyone does. And anyone who says they don’t is not being honest with you or with themselves. There certainly are different levels of anxiety, and some people may approach new situations with a fairly low level of distress while others may be downright panicked and may not even be able to follow through on their plans as a result. The difference, with no exceptions between Person A and Person B is the degree to which they still get hooked into old core beliefs, negative self-talk and worst case-scenario thinking. The 3 core tools take care of any of those concerns in moments. You can’t expect to live life to the fullest and never feel at all anxious or unsettled. But you can expect that once you recognize that you are unsettled, you can use your 3 core tools, in moments to remove any old stories and future ideation (worst case scenario fantasies), and therefore be left with the natural, healthy appropriate niggle that any new situation calls for. This appropriate niggle is usually less than 10% of the distress that most people feel. 90% is the story, the future thinking and old crud that gets triggered simply because of the link you’ve formed, long ago, between feeling at all unsettled and automatically defaulting into learned helplessness (I can’t, I’m not good enough, It’s too overwhelming, etc.). That means, in a few short minutes, once you’ve mastered these tools you can bring yourself from overwhelmed and needing food to cope to pretty darned peaceful and enjoying the little anticipatory energy in your body when you’re in a new situation. Very fun!! Very freeing!! Victoria May Workshop: Next weekend is the Phase I workshop in Victoria, the 14 – 16 from 10 – 5 each day. We have 2 spaces free if you’d like to come. Here’s a little more feedback from past participants to give you a sense of what you can expect from attending. “The weekend workshops are amazing!  The Phase I is such a great way to learn/affirm the tools and help you focus on what you need to focus on.  The one tool that Michelle helped me with that REALLY made an impact for me in this workshop was the drilling down to determine the real reason or energy or thoughts behind the statements we make or those that are said to us – “and what’s important about that . . . ” I learned that it’s not about me, and that it’s ALL about me . . . depending on the situation.  That’s where I became VERY clear that, for me, it’s where my brain is at, and what my beliefs in myself are and what my story is.  The group situation was great – we all bonded very quickly – and everyone had ample time for individual work.” “The workshop was amazing. Michelle is a gifted facilitator and I got so much more out of the workshop in 3 days then I had in 3 months of reading her book. I’ve been watching the forums (on the web program) for the past week and have felt very strong in my understanding of the issues being discussed and the underlying issues of PLA, Alexithymia, All-or-Nothing Thinking, etc. I came away from the workshop feeling at peace for the first time in years. There were 6 participants plus Michelle. Michelle was able to meet everyone’s individual need to be heard while translating their situation to include all of us. I remember thinking when I was sharing that I was using up too much group time (my Drill Sgt. was firmly entrenched), however, as the weekend continued and we shared outside of group time, it became apparent that we were all feeling the same self-doubt and were all benefiting from each others stories. I was struck by the other participants; they were all intelligent, strong, beautiful and caring women who were deserving of all the good things that life has to offer. Yet, they struggle with the same demons that I struggle with; the nasty Drill Sgt, sky-high PLA, not trusting themselves to make ‘good’ decisions, etc. It became clear to me over the weekend that I was one of them, that I am as strong, as intelligent, as caring and maybe even as beautiful as they are. WOW!! That realization was worth the whole weekend. I decided to join the online program to keep my focus on my recovery. I have attended countless work-related workshops and know that all the best intentions to implement whatever you’ve learned are quickly put on the shelf if there is no follow-up. I’m not willing to shelve any of the things I learned during those 3 days and I’m definitely not willing to shelve this peace that I feel.” Have a fantastico week!!! And a special welcome to all of our new web program members. Our online community is growing. The dialogue is fantastic, and I’m thrilled with how everyone is making the program their own! A dream come true! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →
Page 3 of 8 12345...»