Posts Tagged healing

Relationships 101 Week 5

Understand relationshipsThis article is part of a series: Relationships 101: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4. Oh yeah!!! We’re back with Week 5 of Relationships 101: Seeking to Understand Relationships This series is my gift to you because I want you to have the greatest happiness and peace you possibly can in all your relationships. If you read and re-read this series until you really get it, and practice these key tools, you will find that all your connections get simpler, easier, deeper and more pleasurable for you and almost all of that happens without you having to have any “big” conversations and confrontations. This week’s article and homework assignment (should you choose to explore it) will prove this, and you’ll be so amazed at how easy and safe relating to others can be.  Oh yeah!!! This week’s article “Seeking to understand” could just as aptly be called: “Allowing for the possibility that you have misunderstood someone.” (more…)

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Getting Out of the Maze Doesn’t Take Forever

Many of my clients are moving through the bulk of their healing around using food to cope in just a few months or less. This isn’t “hard” work. It’s not about battling it out with yourself and others for the rest of your life. It’s about learning a new way of being; your natural state of being and simply noticing when you’re not in your natural state of being and bringing yourself back, gently, lovingly, to reality. Just because you’ve been told, or you’ve chosen to believe that this pattern will take forever to change, or that it’s “who you are”, doesn’t make that true and you don’t have to continue to believe it – just reveal the all-or-nothing thinking to yourself and come up with other possibilities and prove to yourself that you are safe, you are free – except when you tell yourself you’re not.

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Awareness Brings Change in the Moment

The healing journey begins with consciousness. We must be aware of what we’re doing in order to change our response. Now, initially, frequently our awareness will come after the fact: After the binge or after the purge or after the bad body thought. That’s the process of change. We start out in a place of unconsciousness and we don’t really even know what isn’t working for us. Then we come to a place of consciousness about what isn’t working – namely our way of perceiving ourselves and our relationship with food – but we still don’t seem to be able to change anything about it just yet. This is a very uncomfortable stage of change called “conscious incompetence.” In conscious competence you actually have the awareness and the tools to change your old, automatic responses to situations in the moment, not after the fact. You get to witness yourself doing things in a new, life-enhancing way and that does wonders for your self-esteem and it also begins to do away with the old sense of helplessness and hopelessness that was a part of you for so long.

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre

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Conscious Competence

Conscious Competence



The healing journey begins with conscious awareness. We must be aware of what we’re doing in order to change behaviours, thoughts and feelings that are not serving our goals for health and happiness. Conscious Competence is a key step in this process.

Initially, frequently our awareness will come after the fact – after the binge or after the purge or after the bad body thought.

That’s not a failure or a sign of your ability to recover, it’s simply the natural process of changing human thinking and behavioural processes. Like it or lump it – that’s how it goes.

We start out in a place of unconsciousness and we don’t really even know what isn’t working for us.

Then we come to a place of consciousness about what isn’t working – for example, our way of perceiving ourselves and our relationship with food – but we still don’t seem to be able to change anything about it just yet. This is a very uncomfortable stage of change called “conscious incompetence.”

Even the term “conscious incompetence” makes our Drill Sgt. want to cringe and deny that anything is wrong – he’s such a perfectionist! But, hang in there. If you can allow yourself to admit that you do not have a perfect grasp on yourself when it comes to self-esteem and your relationship with food, then you can actually be successful in changing those patterns and step into a wonderfully esteem-enhancing place called “conscious competence.”

And as long as you don’t let yourself buy into the story that there is something wrong with you because you’re thinking and feeling and behaving as you are you’ll find it much easier to open yourself to getting help and change will come more rapidly.

Once you get tools and support to understand why you do those harmful behaviours or feel so anxious or insecure or depressed in the first place you can begin to change the way you think and respond to life.

This is the stage of conscious competence. In this stage your conscious effort is required in order for you to use new ways of thinking and behaving instead of the old default ones, but it gets easier each time and soon becomes your natural approach to life (unconscious competence) and the old one just doesn’t fit or make sense any more. 

If you’re ready for change and you want to make sure you’re not wasting your time or energy – reach out and let us help you.

Love Michelle
mmorand@cedriccentre.com

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self

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A Note on Jealousy and Insecurity

Jealousy and InsecurityOne of the most obvious forms of all-or-nothing thinking that we humans engage in is a little thing we call the green-eyed monster, a.k.a. good, old-fashioned jealousy. On the surface jealousy appears to be a simple thought, one that has you wanting something or someone that someone else “has”. But that thought has very deep roots and is itself rampant with all-or-nothing thinking which only makes you feel stuck, hopeless, and diminished. Anger is a response to a threat. We only ever feel angry when we truly feel sad and scared about something. Jealousy has a strong element of anger, a sense of judgement and injustice that belies our underlying fear and sadness. And why are we sad and scared? Well because when we’re aware of feeling jealous of someone it means we must have had the following thought just a second before: “They” have something you not only want but believe you “should” have, and by virtue of “Them” having that thing, you are less likely to have it yourself, and not having that thing makes you less valuable, less worthy than they are. Therefore, your worth / okay-ness as a person is dependent on that person. (more…)

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Afraid to Make Mistakes?

Afraid to Make MistakesEver feel afraid to make mistakes? You can’t expect yourself to do something perfectly the first time around. In fact, you won’t be perfect (i.e. never make mistakes) right out of the gate (or ever for that matter). If you expect that or believe that there are others who are able to do that, you will sabotage yourself and you will never move forward. If you carry the belief that you have to be perfect and that if you can’t be perfect and guarantee that you’ll not make a mistake you’re not even going to bother trying something, not only are you going to experience a very stifled and rigid existence but you’ll probably feel anxious and on the verge of a breakdown most of the time. That kind of thinking is supreme all-or-nothing thinking and it is what is keeping you stuck in all areas of your life, guaranteed. If you use food to cope, you likely had a primary caregiver or mentor in your life who did not allow mistakes, someone who shamed, blamed, criticized or judged you for not doing something perfectly – or rather the way they thought it should be done. (more…)

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Self

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 21, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Hello and welcome to the CEDRIC Centre weekly update for Week 21. At the Centre: This past week we have been busy with our individual clients, both in person (at the Centre) and on the telephone (around the world). We’ve been enjoying some wonderful sharing and healing; just amazing, supportive dialogue, among our web program members. You know, I always wanted to create a space where people who are working to overcome food and body image stress could connect safely, respectfully and achieve their goals with lots of tools and support. In fact, I had that vision in mind when I named the CEDRIC Centre (Community Eating Disorder and Related Issues Counselling Centre). It was the word ‘community’ that was most important to me as I wanted to make sure that others knew that they were not alone; that there was an entire community of men and women growing, healing, supporting each other, in a safe container with lots of practical tools. I feel very, very excited about the potential of this program and very fortunate to witness the healing that is taking place and the incredible support being offered between members. Updates on CEDRIC in Vancouver and Victoria: This past weekend I was in Vancouver (yet again!) and found CEDRIC’s Vancouver home! We’re nice and central, just off major bus routes but in the most absolutely lovely home you can imagine! I can’t wait to meet with you there – but it will have to wait a bit as that space doesn’t become ours until September. This gives me lots of time to get my team ready (or rather, if I’m completely truthful! to get myself ready to be with my team less!!!). Current Michelle clients please note – I will be in Victoria 2 days a week and making space to meet with you then so I am not gone. And I will be accessible by telephone to my current distance clients and to any Victoria clients who want to work with me that way, too. Sarah Atkinson will be taking over as primary therapist in Victoria and the rest of our team will remain as is. We have a wonderful group of therapists and body workers and admin support and I feel blessed to have them. As a team, we provide intensive healing programs to individuals from all over the world and enable them to heal from their stressful relationship with food, whether anorexia, bulimia, or overeating, quickly and completely. In fact, we had two healing plan graduates last week and, while I was sad to see them go, I was so thrilled with the peace and joy they exuded. Education in the Community: I was at Camosun College this week, presenting to a group of professionals and students, and was very touched by the warm welcome I received and the gratitude expressed by attendees for my time. It is the mandate of the CEDRIC Centre to provide education and support for those struggling with a stressful relationship with food, and to that end, we make it a priority to speak at educational institutions to blossoming professionals and individuals at large to create more awareness about why people might develop disordered eating patterns and what to do to help them. There are very, very few resources in our province, our country, our continent…for healing from food and body stress, and we take our role as educators and supporters very seriously. We are committed to supporting you to experience complete and lasting recovery, and we have the programs, materials, and staff to make that a reality no matter how long you’ve been struggling or what you’ve tried before. I hope you had a week filled with growth and happiness. But if not, remember, we are here to show you how to step free completely from your stressful relationship with food, quickly and forever. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 20, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update This past week was quite a whirlwind at CEDRIC with two weekend workshops (one facilitated by myself at the centre in Victoria and one at the Saanich Commonwealh Place, facilitated by Sarah Atkinson. Thank you Sarah! And earlier that week I was in Vancouver for a guest appearance on the Fanny Kiefer show, Studio 4. It was a lot of fun and I hope that the segment helped lots of people to get clear on the distinction between using food to cope and simply enjoying food. The 3-day weekend workshop was truly amazing. We had a full room, with a group of women that immediately bonded and supported each other to learn and share. It was wonderful! And what amazing weather!!! This week is a long weekend in Canada so I’ll be spending some time just hanging out with my family and then on Tuesday I’ll be presenting at Camosun College to a group of students in their Health Professionals program. I am amazed at how our web-based program base continues to grow each week. It is so inspiring to see how members are sharing and supporting each other with such great wisdom and compassion. It truly is the worldwide community for healing that I’ve imagined ever since I was in my early 20s and got the idea to start the centre. And it’s only just begun! I hope that you have had a week of insights and growth and increasing peace within. If not, it’s time to reach out and join a workshop, our web program or come (or phone) for some individual support or a personalized intensive healing plan. Our success rate is second to none and our approach, however you work with us, is clear, simple and fast. I hear often from people who have been reading our newsletter for a year or two before they attend a workshop or get some individual support who say, “If I had known I could have felt this peaceful and free this fast, I would have done this years ago!” I encourage you to learn from their learning. If you struggle in any way with food or body image – don’t wait to start truly healing; stop fiddling around with diets and exercise programs that don’t resolve the root of the problem; and if you’ve had counselling somewhere else before and you’re still struggling, it doesn’t mean you didn’t get something valuable or that you are as “good” as you’re going to get, it simply means that you are still missing some of the key tools for recovery that only the CEDRIC Method offers from 17 years of specialization and program development. I wrote an article recently about the underlying thought processes that will keep you stuck using food to cope. I encourage you to read it, if you haven’t already, and begin to understand more about why you do what you do. Then you’ll likely feel much more energized as you freely step into this process of complete and lasting recovery! One more note, we have a Phase II workshop in Vancouver June 11 – 13th. This workshop is for any individual clients and web program clients, anyone who’s read the book, and anyone who has attended a Phase I workshop and wants to fine-tune their core tools! Join me and put the finishing touches on your freedom from a stressful relationship with food. Peace awaits! Have a great week, Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 19, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Hello All and welcome to another fabulous week. This past week, I had the pleasure of appearing on Fanny Kiefer’s Vancouver show, Studio 4. It was a new experience for me and it was fun! You can catch a repeat of the show on Monday, May 17. And, as you read this, I’ll be facilitating our May Victoria workshop. If you haven’t had a chance to come to one of our workshops, don’t despair, there are more workshops coming up in both Victoria and Vancouver.  I’ll definitely be keeping you posted! Life – it has its ups, downs, ins, outs, “goods” and “bads.” Every day provides us with myriad opportunities for growth and myriad opportunities to change the way we think and behave. Circumstances repeat and each time they do; each time relationships end, each time we switch jobs, each time we move, each time we park at the grocery store parking lot, each time we arrive at our favorite coffee shop to find a long line and no seats….each time we experience the day-to-day events that make up a life, we are given an opportunity to think differently about them and about ourselves and therefore to feel and behave differently (remember your thoughts trigger your emotions which trigger your behaviour). Our old all-or-nothing thinking Drill Sgt. will tell us that because we behaved this way at a certain time we always will or that it’s who we are and that we should just resign ourselves to suffering, while at the same time berating us for feeling the way we do and for behaving as we do. He beats us up with his words and then takes no responsibility for our emotional and behavioural reaction to his abuse. Does that remind you of anyone from your past or present? If so, even a little bit, you’ve just discovered the genesis of your Drill Sgt. and of your use of food to cope. For the past 8 weeks I’ve been honoring my value of access to healing for all by providing you, for free, the 3 core tools that you need in order to recover completely and forever from any harmful coping strategy. I do hope you take advantage of your access to these tools, use them freely, everywhere, all the time, and share them around, too. And if you ever feel a little stuck or like the tools might not work for you, just remember this: The tools work every time you use them. No exceptions. If you’re resistant to trying the tools just check in for any all-or-nothing stories in the form of that pattern of thinking I call “learned helplessness.” It sounds something like this: I can’t; It’s too hard; It’s going to take too long; Even if I am successful this time I won’t be able to really change forever; I’ll be the one person this process doesn’t work for…..etc. etc. etc.   If your mind goes there, just remember, everyone’s mind goes there. It’s part of the sickness. It’s part of having an eating disorder or of being an alcoholic, a drug addict, a gambler, a shopaholic, a workaholic, a clean freak, a perfectionist, a schizophrenic, a paranoid, a bi-polar, and anyone who is constantly anxious, depressed or completely numb. These are all just coping strategies and they share a common theme: Learned Helplessness. You’re in good company. Most of the population of the planet has this harmful, debilitating mindset to some extent in some area of their lives. Most people have to unlearn those old ways of thinking and the harmful behaviours they have created before they can feel peaceful, free, alive, vibrant, passionate and worthy. With the CEDRIC Method, a handful of sessions or a weekend workshop is often enough to set you well on your way to complete freedom. My team and I are committed to your complete and lasting healing from any stressful thinking and harmful behaviours. Let us support you to step free once and for all. Remember, your life is waiting. Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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CEDRIC’s Weekly Update for Week 18, 2010

CEDRIC Centre Weekly UpdateWelcome to the CEDRIC Centre’s blog. This is the best place online to make lasting and complete changes to your stressful relationship with food, as well as any other stressful circumstances whether in relation to your self-regard, your relationships or your career. Many would say that we are the experts in getting you from “I’m stuck” to unstuck. Our very simple, quick, and effective method for removing all the barriers to your success, while simultaneously teaching you new ways of approaching food and other stressors, works for every harmful coping strategy and for every age, male or female. So whether you overeat, restrict, purge, drink, procrastinate, get stuck in harmful or unsatisfying relationships, feel unfulfilled in your career, or struggle with family connections, our method will show you, simply and speedily, how to create the change you seek in all areas of your life. Don’t waste another day feeling stuck and stressed out. Regardless of what you may have tried in the past, I can guarantee you, you’ve never tried this because if you had, you wouldn’t still be seeking a solution. Guaranteed! CEDRIC’s Weekly Update Welcome to another fabulous week of the CEDRIC Centre’s on line ezine!  This week’s article adds a few more pieces to one of the 3 core tools for recovery: The List of Stressors, and next week, we’ll finish it up and move on to a chat about perfectionism. Good stuff!! I’m on TV this week!: This Wednesday, the 12th I’ll be on the Fanny Keifer show (Studio 4) in Vancouver on Shaw @ 9:00. A new experience for me!  I’ve done quite a few TV appearances to share information about disordered eating, overeating, dieting, orthorexia, and about the Centre’s services too. So the experience of being in front of the camera isn’t new or scary, not like it was the first time or two. I was just chatting with a client about the tendency we have to judge ourselves for feeling anxious or insecure in new situations. It is perfectly appropriate to feel some degree of anxiety and insecurity in new situations. Everyone does. And anyone who says they don’t is not being honest with you or with themselves. There certainly are different levels of anxiety, and some people may approach new situations with a fairly low level of distress while others may be downright panicked and may not even be able to follow through on their plans as a result. The difference, with no exceptions between Person A and Person B is the degree to which they still get hooked into old core beliefs, negative self-talk and worst case-scenario thinking. The 3 core tools take care of any of those concerns in moments. You can’t expect to live life to the fullest and never feel at all anxious or unsettled. But you can expect that once you recognize that you are unsettled, you can use your 3 core tools, in moments to remove any old stories and future ideation (worst case scenario fantasies), and therefore be left with the natural, healthy appropriate niggle that any new situation calls for. This appropriate niggle is usually less than 10% of the distress that most people feel. 90% is the story, the future thinking and old crud that gets triggered simply because of the link you’ve formed, long ago, between feeling at all unsettled and automatically defaulting into learned helplessness (I can’t, I’m not good enough, It’s too overwhelming, etc.). That means, in a few short minutes, once you’ve mastered these tools you can bring yourself from overwhelmed and needing food to cope to pretty darned peaceful and enjoying the little anticipatory energy in your body when you’re in a new situation. Very fun!! Very freeing!! Victoria May Workshop: Next weekend is the Phase I workshop in Victoria, the 14 – 16 from 10 – 5 each day. We have 2 spaces free if you’d like to come. Here’s a little more feedback from past participants to give you a sense of what you can expect from attending. “The weekend workshops are amazing!  The Phase I is such a great way to learn/affirm the tools and help you focus on what you need to focus on.  The one tool that Michelle helped me with that REALLY made an impact for me in this workshop was the drilling down to determine the real reason or energy or thoughts behind the statements we make or those that are said to us – “and what’s important about that . . . ” I learned that it’s not about me, and that it’s ALL about me . . . depending on the situation.  That’s where I became VERY clear that, for me, it’s where my brain is at, and what my beliefs in myself are and what my story is.  The group situation was great – we all bonded very quickly – and everyone had ample time for individual work.” “The workshop was amazing. Michelle is a gifted facilitator and I got so much more out of the workshop in 3 days then I had in 3 months of reading her book. I’ve been watching the forums (on the web program) for the past week and have felt very strong in my understanding of the issues being discussed and the underlying issues of PLA, Alexithymia, All-or-Nothing Thinking, etc. I came away from the workshop feeling at peace for the first time in years. There were 6 participants plus Michelle. Michelle was able to meet everyone’s individual need to be heard while translating their situation to include all of us. I remember thinking when I was sharing that I was using up too much group time (my Drill Sgt. was firmly entrenched), however, as the weekend continued and we shared outside of group time, it became apparent that we were all feeling the same self-doubt and were all benefiting from each others stories. I was struck by the other participants; they were all intelligent, strong, beautiful and caring women who were deserving of all the good things that life has to offer. Yet, they struggle with the same demons that I struggle with; the nasty Drill Sgt, sky-high PLA, not trusting themselves to make ‘good’ decisions, etc. It became clear to me over the weekend that I was one of them, that I am as strong, as intelligent, as caring and maybe even as beautiful as they are. WOW!! That realization was worth the whole weekend. I decided to join the online program to keep my focus on my recovery. I have attended countless work-related workshops and know that all the best intentions to implement whatever you’ve learned are quickly put on the shelf if there is no follow-up. I’m not willing to shelve any of the things I learned during those 3 days and I’m definitely not willing to shelve this peace that I feel.” Have a fantastico week!!! And a special welcome to all of our new web program members. Our online community is growing. The dialogue is fantastic, and I’m thrilled with how everyone is making the program their own! A dream come true! Love The CEDRIC Centre - Michelle Morand

Posted in: 2010, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The CEDRIC Centre Weekly Update, workshops

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