Posts Tagged self care
What are Boundaries and Why are They Important to Me?
Healthful boundaries are a fundamental piece of creating balance in our lives. The things which we allow and don’t allow to happen around us, and to us, tell people a lot about our self-esteem and how we regard ourselves and ultimately, what they can get away with in their relationship with us! In other words, if you have good self-esteem, you have strong and healthful boundaries. You feel capable of asking for what you need and letting people know clearly and directly when your needs are unmet. This lets the people in relationships with you know that you expect honesty and integrity from others, and you are willing to bring this to the table yourself. You wouldn’t be able or willing to tolerate dishonesty or lack of responsibility in any relationship. Someone who isn’t ready for honesty or directness in their communications with others, or who wants to be able to blame others for their behavior, wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with you because you would be constantly challenging them to take responsibility for their actions. So the clearer you are in your boundaries and what you expect and are willing to accept from others, the more you draw healthful, balanced, responsible people to you: people who have the same goals for honesty and integrity in their relationships as you do.What are Boundaries
Excerpted from Food is Not the Problem: Deal With What Is! Take time to reflect today on how boundaries with others has affected you and see where you can take a stand. You might find some of the focus on food will ease a little in the process!Discomfort=Change=Good Stuff!
Excerpted from Food is Not the Problem: Deal With What Is! When we actively begin the process of letting go of our old core beliefs, we frequently feel awkward, uncomfortable, phony, forced and inauthentic. I implore you: don’t judge this as an indication that you are doing something wrong or that you are doomed to fail at this recovery process. These feelings of discomfort and unfamiliarity are not bad, wrong, or in any other way inappropriate. The thoughts and behaviours you are asking of yourself are simply so very different from your “norm,” that is, from what you are accustomed to, that they naturally feel strange. And as human beings who have been schooled in all-or-nothing thinking, we have been trained to judge anything which differs from our regular experiences as wrong. This is simply not accurate. If you continue allowing yourself to think this way, you run the risk of not witnessing and experiencing all the benefits of the changes which are taking place. You are judging your experience in the moment as bad or wrong because it feels strange or different from what you are accustomed to. If you find yourself heading down this path, I encourage you to remember that you have begun this process of change because you want things to be different – because you recognize that you have a need for a change in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours around certain things. This being the case, how much sense does it make to judge yourself as failing in your process because things are feeling different, when that is what you initially desired? (more…)Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self
Leave a Comment (0) →The Main Barrier to Freedom
Your rate of recovery from your stressful relationship with food depends on your readiness for change. For example, I have worked with many people who have struggled for years, even decades with overeating, restricting and/or purging, and within 5 or 6 sessions, they are transformed, feeling clear, purposeful and trusting in their ability to no longer use food to cope. Yet others may take a few months or a year or two to get to the same place. And that’s perfectly fine. There is no right or wrong way to move through the healing process. It’s a completely personal experience and the length of the healing journey depends on many factors but the most important thing for us all is this: (more…)My Wedding and My Drill Sergeant
(Nadine) Women want to look their best every day, and I think most would agree that your wedding day is the one day you would want to look your very, very best – and your slimmest! However, every wedding magazine and website is plastered with tall, slim women who look fresh, ethereal, and sensuous all at once, like they come from some secret fairy world only to model wedding dresses and accessories. How can a normal, average woman possibly live up to those ideals? How can a plus-size woman possibly manage to look fresh, ethereal, and sensuous? It’s easy to understand the boot camp crash diets brides go through when faced with such unrealistic images. Dealing with these issues myself, pending my upcoming elopement to Tofino mid-September, I began to dig deeper. What else is really going on here? My past experiences at the CEDRIC Centre have taught me that when my Drill Sergeant starts badgering me about my image, it’s a smokescreen that covers a deeper and possibly more painful issue. After a little bit of reflection, I decided to question my Drill Sergeant about what IT thought about marriage and weddings, and here is what it said:- Look at all those beautiful brides, you’re not going to look like that – you can’t possibly get married at the size you are at – you should wait until you lose weight to get married! (“Why?” I asked)
- You need to look beautiful and perfect on your wedding day! (“Why?”)
- If you don’t look perfect on your wedding day your fiancé will regret marrying you. (“Why?”)
- You have to be perfect or your marriage won’t last and your fiance will figure out that you are flawed and unlovable!
My Wedding and My Drill Sergeant
AHA! I uncovered a core belief! My Drill Sergeant has been trying to protect me from this core belief so I wouldn’t get hurt. If I work on healing the faulty core belief, my Drill Sergeant will have nothing to protect me from and the badgering will stop. There are a few things I can do to heal that core belief – and just uncovering it and acknowledging it as faulty goes a long way! I can also try to love myself by listening to my fears, looking after myself physically and emotionally, and showing myself compassion. By healing the underlying core belief about how I’ll look on my wedding day, I can revel in the joy of the event. I can be excited about the exquisite dress I bought (ivory French lace over pale gold satin with clustered bursts of crystals) and I can be excited about all the other details like cupcakes, photographers, venues, flowers, and writing heartfelt vows. I can enjoy the process. I am more able to accept that my fiancé wants to marry me and (no surprise here) already knows that I am imperfect. We have been together for three years and he has seen me sick, seen me binge, seen me frustrated, and seen me freak out at him for something that has nothing to do with him. And he still loves me and wants to marry me. My goal for my wedding day is to be PRESENT. My goal is not to look perfect but to feel joyful, blessed, and authentic, and to remember my wedding day with more than just pictures.Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self
Leave a Comment (1) →Three Days to Freedom!
Three Days to Freedom! Transformative Weekend Workshop July 24-26 in beautiful Victoria, BC
Details at a Glance
1. Early Bird Price: $596.00 or 3 equal payments at $201.00 only until July 5! (regular price $636.00). 2. Preview Q&A Telecall June 30 from 5-6pm Pacific (6-7 Mountain / 7-8pm Central / 8-9 Eastern). 3. Draw to win a free follow-up counselling session with Michelle Morand (value $130!). Freedom and peace of mind are on the way this July… Been thinking of coming to one of our workshops but haven’t quite drummed up the courage yet and need a little nudge? Well, here’s your nudge! There’s never been a better time than the present to explore your relationship with food. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how long you’ve been dealing with the stress of an eating disorder or that annoying diet mentality, you can find the answers you’re looking for. We promise. Really, the solution is close than you think.Imagine This…
In just three days you can completely transform your approach to food and your life. Come and learn everything you need to know about why you struggle with food, why you haven’t been successful in getting a good, solid, long-lasting grip on the problem, and 3 simple tools that will change your life forever! “Thank you for providing a secure and accepting environment for me to explore and identify some personal key issues – and for providing the tools to confidently move forward.” ~Christine Sound too good to be true? The CEDRIC Centre workshops have an amazingly profound and transformative quality about them. People from all over the world have come to us and have dramatically accelerated their recovery as a result. We’ve seen it over and over again, and that’s how we know what we teach is working! It is our greatest reward to see people move through changes and be released from the issues that have been keeping them stuck. We’d love to have you join us! Ready to take the plunge? Register for or read more about the Weekend Workshops.Three Days to Freedom!
Draw to Win a No-Cost Counselling Session
We’ll also be having a draw at the event, and one lucky participant will receive a free counselling session with Michelle Morand valued at $130!Preview Call Details
We’re holding a NO-COST Preview Q&A telecall on Tuesday, June 30 at 5-6pm Pacific so you can have your questions about the workshop answered live by Michelle. We’ll be recording the call, so even if you can’t make it, you can still get all of the information like you were there. However, you must register to ensure you’ll get the recording. Sign up for the Weekend Workshop Q and A call. Our workshops fill up fast. You don’t want to miss the chance to change your life in ways you can’t imagine: 3 special days with Michelle Morand and 3 special tools will put you back in control of your life and back on the path to the joy and happiness you deserve. “I am so excited to use my new tools and you have given me so much insight!” ~Jocelyn Register for or read more about the Weekend Workshops. Remember, the Early Bird price is only in effect until July 5! We would love to have you join us! Have questions? Visit our FAQ page or call us Toll Free at 1-866-383-0797 or 250-383-0797. The Complete Recovery TeamThoughts on Natural Eating
Many people hear the term Natural Eating and immediately assume it’s about eating whole grains and non-processed foods or has something to do with organics or locally grown produce, etc. Well, those are all great ideas and your body will love you for eating as unprocessed as possible, but….that’s not what we mean when we say “natural eating.” Natural Eating, also more recently dubbed “Intuitive Eating,” refers to the simple process of eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. As a natural eater you are conscious of your body’s signals of hunger, fullness, lightness, energy, or bloating, lethargy, fatigue and heaviness. These are your cues about what your body likes and needs vs. what it doesn’t. In a natural eating approach, you honor those cues and are drawn to choose foods that allow you to feel light, full, and energized after eating rather than heavy, bloated, and pooped out. (more…)Tina’s Journey – It’s time to ask the important question. What makes me tick?
Today, I’m finally exercising.
Exercising my right to get off the couch
I’m in my portable office that contains a bench in the sun in a hidden corner of Saxe Point with my archaic alternative technology, namely my book and pen. My bike is parked behind me with my digital camera, a sweating, cold bottle of fresh water rounding out my ensemble. A huge military helicopter rumbles by slowly, competing with the birds as I write. My intention was to ponder the question ‘What makes me tick?’ as I rode. I am at that place in my evolution that its high time that I ask myself that very good question.
These days, as I process CEDRIC’s philosophies and tools, as I gain experience applying them to the ups and downs of my life, I’m changing, evolving, refining and in the course of that, so are the factors that comprise what makes me who I am. For instance, I’ve changed my name, my career, my home and my life almost 10o% in the past year. That tells me that I know who and what I’m not any more, but what AM I? What stirs my crank? Gets me going? Gets me motivated?
What makes me tick?
(more…)Tina’s Journey: Making the Matrix work for me ~ Grounding = Rebooting
When I think of my body and brain functioning together in the miraculous way it does, I have been known to compare it to a carbon based operating system and hard drive that runs the machine that is my body. The way mind and body works together is very much like the way a computer functions, software, hardware, the ‘Blue Screen of Death’ when pushed beyond its capabilities.
In Michelle Morand’s book, Food is Not the problem; Chapter 4 introduces the Matrix, which is a chart developed by former professors of Michelle’s, Elisabeth Bennett and Paul Hastings, designed to help ground our carbon based hard drives, to provide that rebooting to default mode, by outlining where we find ourselves in this moment.
This is where my latest evolution goes through its paces. Chapter 4 identifies where my thinking goes back to default when faced with challenges, from within or externally. It brought back that old familiar mental image of the brain as my organic hard drive rebooting and going through this process of assessment and taking action. (more…)Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self
Leave a Comment (0) →‘Goal Setting’ ~ an excerpt from Michelle Morand’s book, ‘Food is not the problem – Find out what is!’
A Tidbit from Chapter 16
I need to take you on a little detour. In order for you to be able to fully embrace the concept of self-care, you not only need to be able to offer yourself understanding and compassion, which you now know very well how to do, but you also need to be able to feel safe?even excited?and open to the concept of establishing realistic goals. Let’s begin our exploration of the concept of self-care from the perspective of compassionate goal setting. This is an innovative way of approaching goal setting, and it will help greatly to quell the pressure of the Drill Sgt.’s all-or-nothing thinking and to ease the fear of the Authentic Self in engaging in something new.
Some Background on Your Resistance to Goals
If there is any part of you which feels resistant to the concept of goal setting, it won’t be your Drill Sgt. He loves setting goals. He loves creating rigid guidelines and ridiculous expectations to “support” you to achieve your needs for security, acceptance and esteem. No, any part of you that feels resistant to fully engaging in this discussion on goal setting would be your Authentic Self. She is deathly afraid of schedules and structure. You see, your Authentic Self is accustomed to the Drill Sgt.’s high-pressure tactics and “motivation through criticism.” She is understandably very reluctant to set herself up for any potential failure which is bound to be the outcome of the old method of goal setting. To your Authentic Self, having a clearly established goal right now is like walking into the lion’s den. It is to be avoided at all costs.
Click here to get your own copy of ‘Food is not the problem – Find out what is!’ to read the rest of the story.