Archive for Relationship with Others
Those of you who have worked with the CEDRIC Core Beliefs booklet are probably familiar with these stages, but seeing as how June is ‘Natural Eating’ month, we thought that you might enjoy a quick reminder to help you grab the nutshell of where you are in your process, right in this moment, taken from our Natural Eating booklet. (more…)One of the things I know for sure about body image, from my own recovery experience and from hundreds of conversations with clients, is that your negative self-talk and feelings of loathing, disgust and heaviness in your body can change to peaceful acceptance in 24 hours, even when nothing has physically changed in your body.
Yuppers, that’s what I said, your Drill Sgt. can be happily on vacation in Mexico in 24 hours, leaving you at home to peacefully and contentedly practice life-enhancing coping strategies and self-care. And I’m not talking about trying to talk yourself into loving yourself as you are or about settling for being the weight and shape that you are now.
So, what am I talking about? I’m talking about integrity. Integrity means that your words and actions are in alignment. You want to know the secret to happiness? It’s integrity. You want to know the secret to feeling peaceful and content in your body; in your relationships; in your career; etc?
It’s integrity: Words and Actions Aligning.
You do what you say you will. And not just to others, but first and foremost to yourself. That’s where most of us who feel controlled by food and loathing of our bodies stumble; integrity with ourselves. We’re all over taking care of others and honoring our commitments outwardly at all costs. (more…)
by Michelle Morand
Hello out there in the CEDRIC community! Has spring sprung fully where you live? It definitely has here. There’s a quality of warmth to the air that is unique to this time of year; Something with an aftertaste of cool but not at all chilling, that allows me to relax and trust that the warm weather is finally here and that thus, I can begin the glorious task of setting aside the winter boots, coats, sweaters and warmer wear and explore the lighter shirts, pants, dresses, even…..dare I say it… shorts and tank tops.
Yes, I used to hate this time of year. I dreaded it, feared it, prayed to god that it wouldn’t come – some asteroid impacting the earth and leading to a short term ice age would have suited me just fine at that time in my life. Anything to stay bundled up and covered up from the myriad prying eyes that I believed were constantly assessing my frame for it’s acceptability and finding me excruciatingly lacking every time.
For me, this time of year represents rebirth… freedom… and expansion. I get excited at the thought of wearing less and of days at the beach with my son. The ability to engage with life without first having to wade through the heavy shroud of body image insecurities and food crap every moment of every day makes me feel like I’m living in heaven. I know I’m not the only one who experiences heaven on earth with the release of the use of food to cope. (more…)
Drill sergeant, voice of my long gone mother, internal dialogue that diminishes and lies to me, you better be shaking in your boots, because I have discovered one more tangible thing to do to overcome you.
I have, here on my safety tool belt that I have festooned with colourful stickers of flowers of every kind, so it matches my laptop and cell phone, along with my other tools (eat nuts instead of junk, read the label to avoid eating x, y, z; track daughter’s menstrual cycles simultaneously, how to ‘ground’, what to put in homemade fresh juices and why, etc.), another tool that I picked up in my day to day media scrounges.
I’m a very curious animal and am constantly rooting through the internet and available tv media on all 400+ channels and now that I am processing all this intense evolutionary stuff through my experience working with CEDRIC philosophy, I am learning much more about myself than I ever knew possible. (more…)
Today, I’m finally exercising.
Exercising my right to get off the couch
I’m in my portable office that contains a bench in the sun in a hidden corner of Saxe Point with my archaic alternative technology, namely my book and pen. My bike is parked behind me with my digital camera, a sweating, cold bottle of fresh water rounding out my ensemble. A huge military helicopter rumbles by slowly, competing with the birds as I write. My intention was to ponder the question ‘What makes me tick?’ as I rode. I am at that place in my evolution that its high time that I ask myself that very good question.
These days, as I process CEDRIC’s philosophies and tools, as I gain experience applying them to the ups and downs of my life, I’m changing, evolving, refining and in the course of that, so are the factors that comprise what makes me who I am. For instance, I’ve changed my name, my career, my home and my life almost 10o% in the past year. That tells me that I know who and what I’m not any more, but what AM I? What stirs my crank? Gets me going? Gets me motivated?
What makes me tick?
(more…)
Abraham Maslow was a psychologist who is responsible for the pyramid entitled ‘The Heirarchy of Basic Human Needs’ which is a model he designed in order to provide insights as to where people find themselves in their personal evolution. He found that most people live out their lives content with merely subsisting, living from day to day, stuck in old ways that were counterproductive to their well being or potential.
CEDRIC utilizes this model that is found on page 63 of CEDRIC founder, Michelle Morand’s ground breaking book, ‘Food is not the problem’ to help readers see where they are, and as a result, to help figure out a way to evolve past subsistence into a life that is not bounded by incapacity, but open to it’s full potential. In Chapter 5 of FINTP, Michelle helps decipher the pyramid and teaches readers how to use it by finding oneself somewhere in the layers. (more…)
The thing about having an issue with weight is that it translates to an issue with food. This relationship is something that is mismanaged and misunderstood by the best of them, but when you are dealing with personal challenges, the relationship gets even more murky.
There are so many opinions in the western world for the person who is having self esteem issues around the fact that they are considered overweight or are gaining weight.
There just as many options as there are opinions for the person who is dealing with this and they come from all sides as our culture invests a fortune in keeping the superficial issue of body image in the forefront of the collective consciousness.
We have people on tv, in white coats, claiming to be specialists. They give us the gears for being hefty by informing the population that we are ‘less than’ if we don’t buy their plan for salvation, hook, line and sinker. We hear about Food for nurturing and Food for self numbing as an opiate. Martha Stewart tells us that we need to be making the meals pleasing to the eye, Rachel Ray says we should be making four course meals in half an hour to measure up. Even Oprah, who is a cultural icon in today’s world, has her own kitchen staff that includes a world class chef so she has NO idea what she’s eating as she’s passed that on to her dietitian and yet her weight STILL has more ups and downs than a staircase.
How can a little person from small town wherever, with shoelaces for a budget, compete? How can we get away from the constant berating that we are living with a ‘problem’ and if we aren’t constantly doing something about our ‘problem’, we may as well move to the Tennessee Ozarks into a decrepit trailer park right now. Its bad enough that the reality is our bodies need food for fuel and three times a day or more, we better gas up or we won’t have to worry about it, we’d be dead! How does one address mealtime without confusion when messages are coming at us from everywhere with an opinion of how to think? (more…)
As the garden takes shape on my balcony and I delve deeper into sustainable techniques for providing my little family food that grows fresh from my planters as well as my garden, I have also been spending a lot of time thinking about my process as I read the CEDRIC book’ you’re probably familiar with by now, ‘Food is not the problem- Deal with what is‘.
It is an interesting position that I find myself in with my job at CEDRIC as well as my process utilizing the different books, cd’s and philosophy that are now available to me. I find my life has become a rapidly evolving series of events and ponderances that result in it becoming richer, deeper and ultimately, happier.
I have to give credit where its due as its the humble and kind Michelle Morand’s teaching and energy that are contributing to the vast improvements in how I see myself. I am finally at a critical stage of recognizable achievement in this process as it is not because I am recieving external validation, but because of the diametric opposite of that, I find myself no longer requiring external validation of any sort in order to feel ‘right’ or ‘acceptable’. (more…)
Feeling Resentful Anyone?
Hello out there!
What you’ve got in front of you is a fairly lengthy, but I trust, extremely helpful and informative article on how your feelings of frustration, resentment and insecurity in your relationships with others are really stemming from unconscious assumptions that you have made about the other person or about relationships on the whole.
I then share with you some concrete suggestions for what to do when you realize you’ve made assumptions and how to get to a place of peace within yourself and within the relationship. And, when you feel more peaceful and secure in yourself and in your relationships you will feel less inclination to use food to cope, guaranteed.
I hope you enjoy it and benefit from the tools!
P.S. Dn’t forget to email me and share your thoughts / experiences with these tools. And if you want more tools and articles make sure you’re signed up for our free bi-weekly newsletter: Food is not the Problem: Find out what is!
Have a great read.
Love Michelle
The problem with assumptions is not that we make them – although that does often cause resentment and confusion in our relationships with others – no, the real problem with assumptions is that most of the time we don’t even know we’ve made them – or that someone else has made some about us – until something happens in the relationship, contrary to our unconscious assumptions, and we feel the sting of perceived betrayal or the pain and grief of conflict where we thought we had unspoken agreement.
We typically just assume that others share our values and that their definition for, say, reliability, is the same as ours. We assume others think like us, feel like us, and will act like us in similar circumstances and when they don’t – and they won’t –we feel betrayed, misled, and start to question who this imposter is and what happened to the person we though we were in a relationship with!
This is a key step in the relationship process; seeing the person as they really are and not as we assume, and therefore expect, them to be. It’s the point at which we have the opportunity to step into true, adult love. Or, it could be the point at which we realize we really don’t like who this person really is now that the blinders are off. Either way it’s a very significant point in life. But this key moment of true seeing that comes to all relationships in time, is also limited by any other assumptions we’ve made about who this person is that we haven’t yet uncovered. In other words, often, at the same time as we’re seeing that we’ve made some erroneous assumptions (ie. reliability doesn’t mean the same thing to you as it does to me), we’re often still being unconsciously driven by other assumptions (ie. that you will surely see that my definition of reliability is the “right” one and you will change your behaviour to coincide with my definition) that have not yet been revealed to us. Sound like Greek?
The new Twitterphenomenon is upon us and this tiny little social utility has entered the discourse of our culture in a big way recently. When we turn our televisions on, it seems that every celebrity, everybody at all, has gotten on the Twitterwagon and is supporting it.
So who are we to be left in the dust of an evolving cultural phenomenon?