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Feeling Resentful

Feeling ResentfulFeeling Resentful Anyone?

Hello out there!

What you’ve got in front of you is a fairly lengthy, but I trust, extremely helpful and informative article on how your feelings of frustration, resentment and insecurity in your relationships with others are really stemming from unconscious assumptions that you have made about the other person or about relationships on the whole.

I then share with you some concrete suggestions for what to do when you realize you’ve made assumptions and how to get to a place of peace within yourself and within the relationship. And, when you feel more peaceful and secure in yourself and in your relationships you will feel less inclination to use food to cope, guaranteed.

I hope you enjoy it and benefit from the tools!

P.S. Dn’t forget to email me and share your thoughts / experiences with these tools. And if you want more tools and articles make sure you’re signed up for our free bi-weekly newsletter: Food is not the Problem: Find out what is!

Have a great read.

Love Michelle

The problem with assumptions is not that we make them – although that does often cause resentment and confusion in our relationships with others – no, the real problem with assumptions is that most of the time we don’t even know we’ve made them – or that someone else has made some about us – until something happens in the relationship, contrary to our unconscious assumptions, and we feel the sting of perceived betrayal or the pain and grief of conflict where we thought we had unspoken agreement.

We typically just assume that others share our values and that their definition for, say, reliability, is the same as ours. We assume others think like us, feel like us, and will act like us in similar circumstances and when they don’t – and they won’t –we feel betrayed, misled, and start to question who this imposter is and what happened to the person we though we were in a relationship with!

This is a key step in the relationship process; seeing the person as they really are and not as we assume, and therefore expect, them to be. It’s the point at which we have the opportunity to step into true, adult love. Or, it could be the point at which we realize we really don’t like who this person really is now that the blinders are off. Either way it’s a very significant point in life. But this key moment of true seeing that comes to all relationships in time, is also limited by any other assumptions we’ve made about who this person is that we haven’t yet uncovered. In other words, often, at the same time as we’re seeing that we’ve made some erroneous assumptions (ie. reliability doesn’t mean the same thing to you as it does to me), we’re often still being unconsciously driven by other assumptions (ie. that you will surely see that my definition of reliability is the “right” one and you will change your behaviour to coincide with my definition) that have not yet been revealed to us.  Sound like Greek?


Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Thrive, Don’t Just Survive

Thrive, Don't Just Survive I had to pull over into the Northfield rest stop to write this, I was desperate to find a restroom, just off the ferry in Nanaimo and once I'd stopped, and rested, I pulled out my blog with the following extruding out of the end of my pen,  so inspired I was to write it. I had the good fortune to spend some quality time with a dear friend last night. All the way here from Iqaluit, Deb is one of those amazing people its an honour to know, an honour to be able to call her a sister-by-choice.Debbie has worked as a voice for those who can't speak for themselves, for many years in the furthest reaches of Canada, namely, women in poverty and women escaping from violence. She is wise beyond her years. She was a single mother for years, overcame her own demons to go on to make a huge difference in any community she touches.As usual, our conversation wandered around where we were in each other's lives - and we got to talking about CEDRIC, the blog, core beliefs and how we both dealt with our rascally drill sergeants.We were in Deb's downtown Vancouver hotel suite, pulling open the couch to turn it into my bed and Deb says "the trick is to take those surviving skills and turn them into thriving skills." Sometimes she comes up with such simple sentiments that are so ultimately dead on. Then she pointed out that she couldn't help noticing how my recent soul searching and subsequent life changes has had paid off and how I was now, like her, thriving. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The Law of Attraction, Tips for Natural Eating, Uncategorized

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Parallel Journey – Forum with Tina

parallel journeysThe holidays are behind us and now we can get on with life without the distractions of shopping, preparing food or taking care of others. As we swing into the new year, the Blog is about to swing into a new way of presenting information. I would like to introduce myself. My name is Tina Budeweit-Weeks, as Michelle’s executive assistant and a professional foodie, I am the perfect person to steward a new segment of the blog that we are tentatively calling the Cedric Forum. I propose that as I grow and heal with my own personal journey from mindlessness to a more intentional state around food, I share my responses and comments that arise when reading Michelle’s input and your insights. Each week I will deal with different themes such as presented by the different chapters in the workbooks and Michelle’s book, ‘Food is not the problem’, and I invite you to contribute to what we intend to be an ongoing conversation. There is strength in numbers and together we can turn our lives and our way of thinking around to promote a rapid restoration for healing. Here is a bit of a bio to get you up to speed. At 6 feet tall and with scales toppling in at close to the nightmare 300 lb mark, I am a 52 year old woman in the midst of many positive changes. After 5 years of post secondary education, this year was a milestone as I attained a Bachelor’s degree, and after 23 years of raising my children, I am now enjoying the relative silence of an empty nest as of this past summer. Newly educated and emancipated from the restrictive roles of motherhood, I am also just exiting that wonderful time of post menopause which means that my body has become more prone to being sedentary, and I am thickening around the middle. As my height makes weight gains seem almost invisible until I’ve put on 30 lbs., and with my aversion to using scales, I’ve managed to become larger than I ever dared believe and its definitely time to do something about that. There is more to the story as this year, a close friend stepped up to the plate and I have become a very well-loved partner/spouse, a far cry from my years as a single parent. I know this all sounds like good news, however, with all the freedom and nurturing, dinners out and wonderful, unrestricted grocery shopping sprees, I’m also being fed better than I ever was, which is exacerbating the problem of my weight increasing. Enter Michelle, who responded to my ad for employment in September. What a wonderful bit of synchronicity to discover that my innovative and brilliant new employer runs the CEDRIC centre! Just as I was trying to manifest a plan for my new life that includes being more active and cooking for two instead of many, the tenets that Michelle teaches through her counselling, workbooks and publication address exactly what I need. That is, a body-honouring way of bringing my excess weight gain to a halt, turning it around and minimizing my girth so that I take up less space. I’m tired of not fitting in normal chairs, of suffering in plane seats, of seeking benches when ‘normal’ people have no trouble with available seating. All I really want is to able to fit into normal clothes and to be able to seat myself in normal furniture without the constant reminder of what it is to be a Gulliver in a Lilliputian world. So, join me as I begin the process of learning to change my core beliefs, of silencing that infernal internal Drill Sergeant, and of eating naturally, and I will not only blog my developments, but also, share my ups and downs, my successes, challenges and plateaus so that you feel supported on your own journey to rebalanced wellness. Together, we shall overcome! The time is right and all is as it should be. Its time for us to be moving towards a fitter, healthier future.

Tina Budeweit-Weeks is a member of the CEDRIC Success Team in the role of staff writer and executive assistant for Michelle Morand. Her philosophy has always been one of self-nurturance and dignity. In support of the complex difficulties clients may experience around regaining a healthy balance, Tina’s writing is designed to sympathize, support, encourage and inform. Although there are many similarities in Tina’s process, she is not a client, but a hard working, behind-the-scenes member of the team, dedicated to helping the CEDRIC Centre stay current and effective.

Posted in: Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating

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