Posted by Cedric on December 7, 2009
The Diet Mentality of our society says that the way to be externally acceptable is to have breast augmentation, liposuction, no noticeable body fat, and a million dollars. It is not only unrealistic and unnatural, but it is also unhealthful. Ah, but the Drill Sgt. in you doesn’t really care, because the most important thing to him is meeting your needs for security and acceptance. And he believes that those needs must be met outside of yourself and can only be met when you have total acceptance and approval from everyone. He’ll worry about your quality of life and your health and wellness later. Right! Any of you who have been playing the Diet Mentality game for long will know that “later” never comes. From the Drill Sgt.’s perspective, there is always something more that you need to change/do/be in order to secure your place in the world. The only way the Drill Sgt. knows how to do this is to continue to pressure you to look a certain way so that you will finally get the approval and sense of security in the world that you so desperately seek.
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Tags: acceptance, body image, body/mind/spirit, CEDRIC, co-dependency, co-dependent, compulsive eating, core beliefs, diet, diet mentality, dieting, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, External Locus of Control, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, overeating, past, present, rebalancing, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers
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CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Letting go of the dream of perfection doesn’t mean giving up hope of having everything you desire.
It is actually the doorway to finally stepping free of the old all-or-nothing thinking that has kept you stuck in unsatisfying jobs and relationships and has kept you chained to food and body image focus as the answer to your insecurities and dissatisfaction with life.
The story that there is a “perfect” and that you have to be it or else is what keeps you from living happily, passionately, and purposefully in this moment.
Is the Christmas season particularly stressful for you?
Do you cringe at having to eat in more social situations than usual?
Will you give in to what others expect, leaving you emotionally exhausted and extra prone to using food to cope?
You’re not alone. For some of us, getting through the holidays is an emotionally turbulent time at best. But it doesn’t have to be that way. I promise! That’s why I’ve put together a very special teleclass where I will walk you through everything you need to know to make the holidays easier, brighter, and happier for you!
It truly is easier than you think.
I can’t believe that I didn’t see it as I was writing it but it is kind of ironic that last week, as I was sharing the news of my engagement with you all, the topic I chose to write on was “commitments and balance”! Ah, the subconscious works in mysterious ways doesn’t it!? We teach what we most need to learn!
It’s definitely a message that I can stand to be reminded of:
“Don’t make commitments you can’t keep and still live a balanced life!”
No, I’m not rethinking my plans to marry. I am, however, conscious of the need to stay grounded in my day-to-day self-care routine in order to be the best that I can be for my son, my sweetheart, my family and friends-at-large and my clients. We all share that need. We all need a fundamental routine of self-care that we honor first and foremost in order to have the energy and the presence of mind to be healthy and balanced and patient and clear-headed with the rest of the world as we go through our day.
It is very freeing to step out of your all-or-nothing thinking and old core belief, and to allow for the possibility that what you have believed about yourself or about old situations isn’t true. Stepping out of this old belief leaves a vacancy, a space that needs to be filled with a new thought or belief. If spiritual enlightenment is your ultimate goal, at some point you will find yourself in a place where you don’t need to replace this old belief with anything: you just exist peacefully in the space that is left when it departs. For the rest of you who either don’t necessarily desire that or who are still on the path to enlightenment, there is the desired belief.
The desired belief is the new story, the new thought which you will offer yourself whenever you notice the triggering of that old belief. Your desired belief will ultimately become your automatic thought: your “default setting” as I call it. For now, it will require some consciousness on your part to reinforce the new belief, but it isn’t hard to do.
First let’s figure out what your desired belief is. The best and simplest way to do this is to take a look at your current belief. Let’s use I am not good enough as our example.
Commitments