It is very freeing to step out of your all-or-nothing thinking and old core belief, and to allow for the possibility that what you have believed about yourself or about old situations isn’t true. Stepping out of this old belief leaves a vacancy, a space that needs to be filled with a new thought or belief. If spiritual enlightenment is your ultimate goal, at some point you will find yourself in a place where you don’t need to replace this old belief with anything: you just exist peacefully in the space that is left when it departs. For the rest of you who either don’t necessarily desire that or who are still on the path to enlightenment, there is the desired belief.
The desired belief is the new story, the new thought which you will offer yourself whenever you notice the triggering of that old belief. Your desired belief will ultimately become your automatic thought: your “default setting” as I call it. For now, it will require some consciousness on your part to reinforce the new belief, but it isn’t hard to do.
First let’s figure out what your desired belief is. The best and simplest way to do this is to take a look at your current belief. Let’s use I am not good enough as our example.
Your current belief is that you are not good enough. Now ask yourself: “What thought could I invite myself to think that is directly opposite to that old belief?”
I am good enough? Not quite, although that is exactly opposite. No, what we are looking for here is the desired belief that knocks your socks off – the thought that makes you feel as though you are doing something wrong or being a bad girl just to think it. That’s the one we want. The one that freaks the crap out of you! How about: I am great! I am wonderful! I am perfect!
When you imagine inviting yourself to think any of those thoughts, how does it feel? Remember, you are looking for the new belief statement that feels “wrong” to think. It will feel wrong because it directly flies in the face of what you currently believe. If it feels so-so or a little different, that’s not it. That’s too soft, and you are still giving into the old belief. Let yourself be freaked out a little with your desired belief, then you’ll know you’ve got it.
And don’t worry. You are not suddenly going to become some egotistical individual who lives with her head in the clouds. Right now you are far, far, far to one end of the spectrum of self-judgement with your current belief. You have lots and lots and lots of room to come back the other way before you get anywhere near vanity. But right now, any though which challenges that old belief will feel strange and, as such, will be judged by the Drill Sgt. as “wrong”.
It’s up to you to challenge the Drill Sgt. when this happens and, again, to just come back to, “What’s important about that?” Any time you receive judgement or resistance from the Drill Sgt., keep coming back to that process of dialogue with him. Soon your Authentic Self will know and trust that the Drill Sgt. really is on your side, and the Drill Sgt. will understand the he needs to radically alter his approach if he realy wants to support you to be the best you can be.
So what is your old belief? And what is the desired belief that freaks the pants off of you?
Excerpted from Food is Not the Problem: Deal With What Is!