Posts Tagged drill sergeant
Posted by mmorand on December 18, 2009
So many of us are sitting on the sidelines in life, waiting for the moment when we’ll be “good enough.” When we’re “good enough” we’ll begin to live fully! When we’re “good enough” we’ll start loving freely and completely! We’ll risk and speak up for ourselves and for others and for what we believe in against anybody! When we’re “good enough” we won’t feel anxious or depressed. We’ll go after that job we’ve always wanted and we will definitely not have any reservations about going after that man we’ve been desiring. But not until we’re good enough. Until then…..until then, we wait. Until then, we settle and we numb the sadness and the anxiety in our tummies with food or alcohol or TV, sleep, harlequin romances or some similar mind-numbing material. (more…)
Tags: acceptance, body image, body/mind/spirit, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, good enough, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, past, present, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on December 11, 2009
The theme of “making mistakes” (from the last 2 weeks) seems to have hit home with many readers, and with good reason. One of the main reasons we use food to cope is because we are so anxious all the time about saying the right thing; doing the right thing; being perceived as good and kind and generous and smart and sexy and “together.”
The pressure to perform and to conform to others’ expectations of who or what we should be creates a chronic state of anxiety that I call “the permeating level of anxiety” (PLA) and it is this chronic sense of disease or distress within that triggers us to restrict, or binge or purge.
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Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, anorexia, anxiety, anxious, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, mistakes, nurturing, past, permeating level of anxiety, present, rebalancing, recovery, safe, safety, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers, trust, using food to cope
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by Cedric on December 7, 2009
The Diet Mentality of our society says that the way to be externally acceptable is to have breast augmentation, liposuction, no noticeable body fat, and a million dollars. It is not only unrealistic and unnatural, but it is also unhealthful. Ah, but the Drill Sgt. in you doesn’t really care, because the most important thing to him is meeting your needs for security and acceptance. And he believes that those needs must be met outside of yourself and can only be met when you have total acceptance and approval from everyone. He’ll worry about your quality of life and your health and wellness later. Right! Any of you who have been playing the Diet Mentality game for long will know that “later” never comes. From the Drill Sgt.’s perspective, there is always something more that you need to change/do/be in order to secure your place in the world. The only way the Drill Sgt. knows how to do this is to continue to pressure you to look a certain way so that you will finally get the approval and sense of security in the world that you so desperately seek.
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Tags: acceptance, body image, body/mind/spirit, CEDRIC, co-dependency, co-dependent, compulsive eating, core beliefs, diet, diet mentality, dieting, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, External Locus of Control, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, overeating, past, present, rebalancing, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on December 4, 2009
Letting go of the dream of perfection doesn’t mean giving up hope of having everything you desire.
It is actually the doorway to finally stepping free of the old all-or-nothing thinking that has kept you stuck in unsatisfying jobs and relationships and has kept you chained to food and body image focus as the answer to your insecurities and dissatisfaction with life.
The story that there is a “perfect” and that you have to be it or else is what keeps you from living happily, passionately, and purposefully in this moment.
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Tags: acceptance, anorexia, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, CEDRIC, compulsive eating, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, insecurity, natural eating, nurturing, overeating, past, perfect, perfection, perfectionism, present, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by Cedric on November 25, 2009
It is very freeing to step out of your all-or-nothing thinking and old core belief, and to allow for the possibility that what you have believed about yourself or about old situations isn’t true. Stepping out of this old belief leaves a vacancy, a space that needs to be filled with a new thought or belief. If spiritual enlightenment is your ultimate goal, at some point you will find yourself in a place where you don’t need to replace this old belief with anything: you just exist peacefully in the space that is left when it departs. For the rest of you who either don’t necessarily desire that or who are still on the path to enlightenment, there is the desired belief.
The desired belief is the new story, the new thought which you will offer yourself whenever you notice the triggering of that old belief. Your desired belief will ultimately become your automatic thought: your “default setting” as I call it. For now, it will require some consciousness on your part to reinforce the new belief, but it isn’t hard to do.
First let’s figure out what your desired belief is. The best and simplest way to do this is to take a look at your current belief. Let’s use I am not good enough as our example.
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Tags: acceptance, body/mind/spirit, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, future, grounding, growing, healing, new thought, nurturing, past, present, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on November 23, 2009
Commitments and Balance
“Don’t make commitments you can’t keep….and still live a balanced life.” mm
Perhaps you’re wondering why I added that little bit on the end there? Well, since you asked…
Most people will agree that the definition of Integrity is somewhere along the lines of “doing what you say you will” or “words and actions in alignment.” I concur with these definitions. But there is a very important piece of the puzzle missing, or inferred:
Integrity = Do what you say you will as long as it doesn’t harm you.
In order to be living from this definition of integrity you have to
- Be well aware of what you’re feeling and needing and
- Be well aware of your deservedness to take care of yourself first and foremost.
No, that is not selfish, it is self-loving. It is necessary as a fundamental framework in your life to honor your commitments to yourself first and foremost.
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Tags: acceptance, balance, body/mind/spirit, commitments, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, past, present, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, tandem healing, triggers
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on November 6, 2009
As I woke up this morning, the first thought I had, after “Why is that cat on my head!” was of you: My readers and CEDRIC Community members. I was reflecting on a phenomenon I’ve been noticing, which is that I receive far more comments on my articles that are not tools-oriented but more information and thoughts to ponder, than I do on my offerings that have specific steps attached, designed to help you achieve your goals.
I lay there, reflecting on this pattern and noticed that I began to feel a little unsettled, “the niggle” was up! As I asked myself what needs I had that weren’t being met that were triggering that niggle, the answer became clear: I want my readers to be successful in their healing. I don’t want them to stay stuck in the use of food to cope when they don’t have to. I want my writing to inspire them and motivate them to try doing something differently.
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Tags: acceptance, anorexia, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, control, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, overeating, past, present, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on October 23, 2009
Hello out there! Thank you for stopping by and taking the time from your busy day to explore some new ways of looking at life and of being in the world.
One of the themes that comes up every day in my work with clients is needs. Okay, okay, to be honest, it’s usually me bringing it up…..but there’s a really good reason for that. Having needs doesn’t make you needy, it makes you normal.
You see, if you’re overeating, restricting, binging and purging, dieting, drinking, smoking, toking, shopping, gambling, procrastinating, isolating or ruminating on relationships more than you’d like, you’re using a coping strategy. And the only reason any human being ever uses a coping strategy is because they have needs that aren’t being met in some (or many) area(s) of their lives. (more…)
Tags: acceptance, anxiety, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, compulsive eating, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, overeating, past, present, rebalancing, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on October 17, 2009
A few weeks ago, during our self-care series, I received this email asking for some specific support around goal setting and changing harmful patterns.
“Thank you for this article, it sounds so easy when you break the goal down into small pieces that are seemingly easily attainable.
I’m really struggling with a lack of sociability. I put off going out and meeting people (even going to the market) and am getting more and more housebound. I find myself dreading any social contact and I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. Can you help me with my goal of being a little more outgoing and getting myself to socialize without throwing myself into a state of panic? Thanks for all your great articles and help.”
For those of you out there also struggling with the coping strategies of isolation, avoidance and procrastination, let me offer you a suggestion for moving past and into an experience of life that is fuller and richer than the one you’re living right now.
(more…)
Tags: acceptance, anxiety, body/mind/spirit, control, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, future, grounding, growing, healing, isolation, nurturing, procrastination, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
Posted by mmorand on October 9, 2009
Hey out there! I was just getting ready for my day and my mind was reflecting on a few recent events in my life and noticing a commonality between them. So naturally I thought I’d share these reflections with you.
It seems that the overall lesson is that when life presents us with an opportunity to change a harmful pattern, we have two choices (assuming we’re conscious enough of the pattern to see it in the first place):
1. We can see the opportunity to do things differently and choose to do things the same old way anyway. Usually we make this choice out of fear of change or fear of angering or disappointing someone if we were to behave differently than they “expect.”
Or…..
(more…)
Tags: acceptance, body image, body/mind/spirit, CEDRIC Centre, core beliefs, drill sergeant, eating disorders, exploring, forgiveness, future, grounding, growing, healing, nurturing, past, present, rebalancing, recovery, self care, self esteem, self love, self worth, triggers
Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self
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