Posts Tagged using food to cope
Hello out there!
We’ve had another fabulous week here at CEDRIC with book sales, workshop preparation, new clients beginning their process with us, other clients graduating, and as always, amazing sharing and transformation on our web-based program.
And to top it all off, I just had my most favorite kind of session of all! It’s the session where, after a few short months, someone who was, for years, feeling completely controlled by food and loathing themselves 24/7 is now feeling happy, peaceful, light, free. They are no longer using food to cope. They are liking their body and enjoying exercise. They are also establishing stronger, more intimate connections with family and new friends, even potential boyfriends, after years of feeling unworthy, stupid, and completely unlovable.
I love those closure sessions where there simply isn’t anything to report or work on. Everything on the giant mountain of unfinished business that used to be ever-present and create such chronic anxiety and the need to overeat/restrict/purge is now taken care of.
Day-to-day events are met with confidence and self-trust. The future is perceived as, “Nothing to worry about – I know I’ll deal with whatever comes up when it comes up. I’m not going to sweat about the future. I’m just gonna kick back and enjoy life.”
Oh Yeah!!! Freedom!
And for this particular person, that complete about-face and solid sense of peace and trust took 4 months and a total of 14 counselling sessions (including today, which was really just a formality and tying up loose ends).
That’s it, that’s all. That’s a very typical experience, too.
I am so very excited when someone steps free completely from the food stress. It’s a whole new world and a whole new life. You’re free to be the best you can be in all ways.
I am so very touched also, when clients are willing to share their thoughts and feelings about our work together. It is such a gift to me to know how this process just works.
I invite you to explore just some of the wonderful feedback we’ve received this past week alone, from clients:
• Thanks again Michelle, you have such a wonderful way of cutting through the bullshit and getting to the point.
• I’m feeling so positive about everything right now. It feels so good to come out of the dark.
• Thank you so much for the Cedric Centre, your compassion and friendship. Everything I am learning is such a gift. Words cannot describe it.
And a little note I received about our daily centering exercises (these are a staple of our web-based program):
• These are fantastic, Michelle – I look forward to them so much.
And last, but so far from least, a letter from a client (not the one mentioned above) who just completed her work with me two weeks ago. We worked together for 3 ½ months.
“Thank you so much for your incredible dedication in the past few months. You’ve been invaluable in helping me understand the process of overcoming food and body obsession and I will carry all these incredible tools and insights with me forever. If I could share any words with those who are considering engaging in a similar process, this is what I would like to say:
You won’t regret it! If you’re anything like me, you’re here because things seem desperate, and yet, there is a voice inside you that is saying that another way is possible. You don’t have to live the rest of your life feeling anxious and unhappy around food and your body. You’re ready to make changes and to begin to focus on things that really matter to you. This process, like any other journey worth taking, will have ups and down, challenges and rewards. It also may seem to take forever to make progress, especially when compared with the “quick fix” of either a binge or crash diet. You will find, however, that in working with this gifted and dedicated team, momentum builds quickly and sooner than you think, you will be seeing things in a completely new and exciting light.
Don’t despair, you’re in good hands! Trust in this process. It is sound, makes sense and will work if your commitment to yourself and to change is strong. Keep your commitment strong by staying rooted in your compassion. Self-criticism has gotten you this far, now it’s time to switch gears and to start nurturing the part of yourself that is kind and gentle. When you make mistakes, be gentle. When you have success, celebrate. When you ask questions, be kind. When you set goals, be generous. It is amazing to feel yourself softening into self-compassion and soon, you won’t want to live anywhere else.
Congratulations! You’ve taken the first tiny but very important step in greatly improving the course of the rest of your life! I know that my work through this Centre has done exactly that for me and I couldn’t be happier about it!”
So there you have it! Thank you, ladies and gents for your generosity in providing me with such amazing feedback.
As always, my team and I are here if you want to reach out and get some questions answered or begin to receive support for yourself or someone you love.
Have a great week, and enjoy this week’s free article!
Last week we had a great exchange on the web-based program. Actually, we have a lot of those. It’s always such an incredibly open, respectful environment for sharing and learning. But this one in particular mirrored a recent article in which I discussed how to be okay with and taking care of yourself when you know others are upset with you. So I thought I’d share an excerpt of our dialogue here to help you to truly step free of the self-compromise and self-judgement that keeps you using food to cope.
The main story that was causing this individual such stress was this one:
“I am telling myself that it is impossible to make a decision which is honouring to my values AND guaranteed not to hurt others. (To, me that seems true.)”
My response was something like this:
A common theme for people is the fear of failure. When they begin working with one of our therapists or begin to join in the peer discussions on our web-based program, there is a feeling a great deal of fear and overwhelm that they are too far gone; that this process won’t work for them; that they won’t be able to figure it out; or that if they can figure it out and achieve a certain degree of freedom, they won’t be able to step completely free of their eating disorder in any lasting way.
It is perfectly appropriate to have fear and doubt in new situations. All humans do. And the degree to which people feel that fear and doubt correlates directly to how important they view success in that particular pursuit to be.
The theme of “making mistakes” (from the last 2 weeks) seems to have hit home with many readers, and with good reason. One of the main reasons we use food to cope is because we are so anxious all the time about saying the right thing; doing the right thing; being perceived as good and kind and generous and smart and sexy and “together.”
The pressure to perform and to conform to others’ expectations of who or what we should be creates a chronic state of anxiety that I call “the permeating level of anxiety” (PLA) and it is this chronic sense of disease or distress within that triggers us to restrict, or binge or purge.