Posts Tagged nurturing

Your Desired Belief

mindIt is very freeing to step out of your all-or-nothing thinking and old core belief, and to allow for the possibility that what you have believed about yourself or about old situations isn’t true. Stepping out of this old belief leaves a vacancy, a space that needs to be filled with a new thought or belief.  If spiritual enlightenment is your ultimate goal, at some point you will find yourself in a place where you don’t need to replace this old belief with anything: you just exist peacefully in the space that is left when it departs. For the rest of you who either don’t necessarily desire that or who are still on the path to enlightenment, there is the desired belief. The desired belief is the new story, the new thought which you will offer yourself whenever you notice the triggering of that old belief. Your desired belief will ultimately become your automatic thought: your “default setting” as I call it. For now, it will require some consciousness on your part to reinforce the new belief, but it isn’t hard to do. First let’s figure out what your desired belief is. The best and simplest way to do this is to take a look at your current belief. Let’s use I am not good enough as our example. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self

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Commitments and Balance

juggleCommitments and Balance “Don’t make commitments you can’t keep….and still live a balanced life.” mm Perhaps you’re wondering why I added that little bit on the end there? Well, since you asked… Most people will agree that the definition of Integrity is somewhere along the lines of “doing what you say you will” or “words and actions in alignment.” I concur with these definitions. But there is a very important piece of the puzzle missing, or inferred: Integrity = Do what you say you will as long as it doesn’t harm you. In order to be living from this definition of integrity you have to
  1. Be well aware of what you’re feeling and needing and
  2. Be well aware of your deservedness to take care of yourself first and foremost.
No, that is not selfish, it is self-loving. It is necessary as a fundamental framework in your life to honor your commitments to yourself first and foremost. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Assumptions

AssumptionsAs I woke up this morning, the first thought I had, after “Why is that cat on my head!” was of you: My readers and CEDRIC Community members.  I was reflecting on a phenomenon I’ve been noticing, which is that I receive far more comments on my articles that are not tools-oriented but more information and thoughts to ponder, than I do on my offerings that have specific steps attached, designed to help you achieve your goals. I lay there, reflecting on this pattern and noticed that I began to feel a little unsettled, “the niggle” was up! As I asked myself what needs I had that weren’t being met that were triggering that niggle, the answer became clear: I want my readers to be successful in their healing. I don’t want them to stay stuck in the use of food to cope when they don’t have to. I want my writing to inspire them and motivate them to try doing something differently. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Attending to Your Needs

Attending to Your NeedsIt seems like my last article on needs (“Having needs doesn’t make you needy”) struck a deep chord in many readers. That makes perfect sense. It is the fundamental issue. The only reason you ever use food to cope, no exceptions, is because you have needs that aren’t being met in some area of your life and you’ve told yourself that you’re not allowed, not deserving, or just not capable of getting them met, no matter what you do. These stories you’re telling yourself lead you to feel depressed and anxious, lethargic and frantic, in other words, they overwhelm you. And when you’re feeling overwhelmed about something you believe you can’t do anything to change or resolve, the only thing to do is to find a way to diminish or discount the impact of that thing: to numb out. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, workshops

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Having Needs Doesn’t Make You Needy

Having NeedsHello out there!  Thank you for stopping by and taking the time from your busy day to explore some new ways of looking at life and of being in the world. One of the themes that comes up every day in my work with clients is needs.  Okay, okay, to be honest, it’s usually me bringing it up…..but there’s a really good reason for that. Having needs doesn’t make you needy, it makes you normal. You see, if you’re overeating, restricting, binging and purging, dieting, drinking, smoking, toking, shopping, gambling, procrastinating, isolating or ruminating on relationships more than you’d like, you’re using a coping strategy. And the only reason any human being ever uses a coping strategy is because they have needs that aren’t being met in some (or many) area(s) of their lives. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Procrastination and Isolation

isolationA few weeks ago, during our self-care series, I received this email asking for some specific support around goal setting and changing harmful patterns. “Thank you for this article, it sounds so easy when you break the goal down into small pieces that are seemingly easily attainable. I’m really struggling with a lack of sociability. I put off going out and meeting people (even going to the market) and am getting more and more housebound.  I find myself dreading any social contact and I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed.  Can you help me with my goal of being a little more outgoing and getting myself to socialize without throwing myself into a state of panic?  Thanks for all your great articles and help.” For those of you out there also struggling with the coping strategies of isolation, avoidance and procrastination, let me offer you a suggestion for moving past and into an experience of life that is fuller and richer than the one you’re living right now. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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When Opportunity Knocks

When Opportunity KnocksHey out there! I was just getting ready for my day and my mind was reflecting on a few recent events in my life and noticing a commonality between them. So naturally I thought I’d share these reflections with you. It seems that the overall lesson is that when life presents us with an opportunity to change a harmful pattern, we have two choices (assuming we’re conscious enough of the pattern to see it in the first place): 1. We can see the opportunity to do things differently and choose to do things the same old way anyway. Usually we make this choice out of fear of change or fear of angering or disappointing someone if we were to behave differently than they “expect.” Or….. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Self-Care Final Part: Realistic Goals

Self-CareHello! How was your week? This is the final installment in our 6-part series on self-care. If you haven’t read the others, here are the links: The First Step to Self-Care Self-Care Part 2 Self-Care Part 3: Sustainable Change Begins Self-Care Part 4: Getting from Here to There Self-Care Part 5: Letting Go of Your Stories Did you experiment with one goal, plotting it on a continuum and coming up with three small steps? If not, what stopped you? No time? No faith? No energy? This article deals with the first one which provides you with the last two!  You see the more effectively you manage your time and the more realistic your expectations are, given that you have 24 hours in the day, the more energy you’ll have, the more successful you’ll be at everything you try and therefore, the more faith you’ll have in yourself to succeed and the more faith you’ll have in the process (which means you’ll do it more so you’ll experience even more change and even more success which means you’ll feel even more energized and more hopeful and trusting of yourself and of the process of change). It’s a wonderful reciprocal relationship, and the first step is setting clear and realistic goals.  Did you hear that last part? Realistic goals?  I’ll bet you if you’re not taking action already to reach your desired goals for health, wellness, peace, love, passion and fulfillment, you do not have realistic goals. Let me prove that to you and then let us set about the work of clearing the decks so you can move forward! (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Self-Care Part 5: Letting go of your stories

Self-CareHello CEDRIC Community Members.  In this article we are continuing with our goal exploration and creating small, doable steps to get you from where you are to where you want to be. If you’re just joining us as a community member and want to take part in this series about self-care and forward momentum, I recommend you follow the link to the first article in this series and build from there. You’ll get much more out of the process and it will transform your current use of food to cope.  We have two more weeks (after today) of the self-care series and then we’re on to other key bits and pieces of the recovery and freedom process.  Eating when you’re not hungry, eating more than you’re hungry for, not allowing yourself to eat enough, and purging are all harmful ways of coping with the world and the stress it currently presents to you.  They are learned patterns of behaviour. They are not who you are. They are behaviours, and behaviours can be changed. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating

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Self-Care Part 4: Getting from Here to There

Self-CareIf you haven’t yet read the previous installments in our Self-Care Journey, please visit them here: The First Step to Self-Care Self-Care Part 2 Self-Care Part 3: Sustainable Change Begins! Okey dokey!  We’ve done all the prep work. We’re ready to dig in and start identifying the steps we’re going to take to achieve our goals. For those of you just tuning in, and those of you who may need a reminder, we have, for the past 3 weeks now, been on a mission. A mission to identify the goals you have in each of the key areas of your life; to identify the values and principles that you believe in and currently embody or that you’d like to embody in your day to day life; and to make sure that the goals that we identify are actually ours and not what others think we should do so that we can have the sense of purpose, motivation and excitement that we deserve to have when achieving our dreams. This week we’re going to begin to identify some small steps we can take to get you from “here” to “there.” I’m just going to pick a few goals out of the air and show you how to break them down into doable steps for some of the key areas someone might have.  If you’d like help to sort yours out or with the recovery process in general, let me know and we’ll arrange a session. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating

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