Posts Tagged forgiveness

The Main Barrier to Freedom

Your rate of recovery from your stressful relationship with food depends on your readiness for change.  For example, I have worked with many people who have struggled for years, even decades with overeating, restricting and/or purging, and within 5 or 6 sessions, they are transformed, feeling clear, purposeful and trusting in their ability to no longer use food to cope.  Yet others may take a few months or a year or two to get to the same place.  And that’s perfectly fine. There is no right or wrong way to move through the healing process.  It’s a completely personal experience and the length of the healing journey depends on many factors but the most important thing for us all is this: (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, workshops

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My Wedding and My Drill Sergeant

(Nadine) Women want to look their best every day, and I think most would agree that your wedding day is the one day you would want to look your very, very best – and your slimmest! However, every wedding magazine and website is plastered with tall, slim women who look fresh, ethereal, and sensuous all at once, like they come from some secret fairy world only to model wedding dresses and accessories. How can a normal, average woman possibly live up to those ideals? How can a plus-size woman possibly manage to look fresh, ethereal, and sensuous? It’s easy to understand the boot camp crash diets brides go through when faced with such unrealistic images. Dealing with these issues myself, pending my upcoming elopement to Tofino mid-September, I began to dig deeper. What else is really going on here? My past experiences at the CEDRIC Centre have taught me that when my Drill Sergeant starts badgering me about my image, it’s a smokescreen that covers a deeper and possibly more painful issue. After a little bit of reflection, I decided to question my Drill Sergeant about what IT thought about marriage and weddings, and here is what it said:
  • Look at all those beautiful brides, you’re not going to look like that – you can’t possibly get married at the size you are at – you should wait until you lose weight to get married! (“Why?” I asked)
  • You need to look beautiful and perfect on your wedding day! (“Why?”)
  • If you don’t look perfect on your wedding day your fiancé will regret marrying you. (“Why?”)
  • You have to be perfect or your marriage won’t last and your fiance will figure out that you are flawed and unlovable!

My Wedding and My Drill Sergeant

AHA! I uncovered a core belief! My Drill Sergeant has been trying to protect me from this core belief so I wouldn’t get hurt. If I work on healing the faulty core belief, my Drill Sergeant will have nothing to protect me from and the badgering will stop. There are a few things I can do to heal that core belief – and just uncovering it and acknowledging it as faulty goes a long way! I can also try to love myself by listening to my fears, looking after myself physically and emotionally, and showing myself compassion. By healing the underlying core belief about how I’ll look on my wedding day, I can revel in the joy of the event. I can be excited about the exquisite dress I bought (ivory French lace over pale gold satin with clustered bursts of crystals) and I can be excited about all the other details like cupcakes, photographers, venues, flowers, and writing heartfelt vows. I can enjoy the process. I am more able to accept that my fiancé wants to marry me and (no surprise here) already knows that I am imperfect. We have been together for three years and he has seen me sick, seen me binge, seen me frustrated, and seen me freak out at him for something that has nothing to do with him. And he still loves me and wants to marry me. My goal for my wedding day is to be PRESENT. My goal is not to look perfect but to feel joyful, blessed, and authentic, and to remember my wedding day with more than just pictures.

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self

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The Power of Thought

For thousands of years many cultures have held a belief in a very powerful philosophy, the gist of which is: we create our thoughts, and our thoughts create our life as we know itBecause our thoughts are our very own creation, we alone have the power to change them and therefore to change our entire experience of life as we know it. (more…)

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Finding Peace ~ Michelle Morand

Finding PeaceForgive me for being macabre for a moment but…I am going to die. One day.

Could be 5 minutes from now, 5 days, one year, 20, 50, 75 years…..

I have very little control over when that happens or how. I may have lots of notice and have time to fulfill my own, personal “bucket list” or it may be sudden death – my death.

Despite the drama with which I’m putting this notion forth, these thoughts don’t depress or overwhelm me or trigger mortal dread: Unlike when, as a child, I first realized with abject terror that my parents were going to die one day – that their continued presence in my life was beyond my control – and was then also struck by the realization that I too would one day cease to exist.

No, these thoughts do not create distress for me, or sadness, or longing. Rather, they motivate me to live this moment as best I can. These thoughts motivate me to grow and to be the best that I can be in every moment. I know that in being the best that I can be in every moment I am doing my best to make the world a better place for however long I have the privilege of being able to contribute in mortal form.

Being the best I can be does not in any way mean perfect. I am far from that, as my son, friends, family and ex-boyfriends will attest to. It means honoring my values to the very best of my physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological ability every moment of every day. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self

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Self-forgiveness

Self-forgiveness  Well, hello! Welcome to the CEDRIC Centre blog and on-line community. Today I had an interesting experience on the way in to work. I had just pulled out of my driveway and was making a left turn onto a moderately busy road, had checked both directions and started pulling into traffic. Suddenly this SUV is right in front of me, he must have been speeding to have come upon me that quickly. He slammed on the breaks, rolled down his window and started yelling and swearing – lots of f- this and f-that – how stupid I am, how I have no right to be on the road etc. etc. Now keep in mind that I didn’t hit him. I didn’t even come close as I saw him about 5 feet before I would have pulled into his lane and braked. He didn’t have to swerve to miss me. Keep in mind also that my kids were in the car and that his were too. (more…)

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