Forgive me for being macabre for a moment but…I am going to die. One day.
Could be 5 minutes from now, 5 days, one year, 20, 50, 75 years…..
I have very little control over when that happens or how. I may have lots of notice and have time to fulfill my own, personal “bucket list” or it may be sudden death – my death.
Despite the drama with which I’m putting this notion forth, these thoughts don’t depress or overwhelm me or trigger mortal dread: Unlike when, as a child, I first realized with abject terror that my parents were going to die one day – that their continued presence in my life was beyond my control – and was then also struck by the realization that I too would one day cease to exist.
No, these thoughts do not create distress for me, or sadness, or longing. Rather, they motivate me to live this moment as best I can. These thoughts motivate me to grow and to be the best that I can be in every moment. I know that in being the best that I can be in every moment I am doing my best to make the world a better place for however long I have the privilege of being able to contribute in mortal form.
Being the best I can be does not in any way mean perfect. I am far from that, as my son, friends, family and ex-boyfriends will attest to. It means honoring my values to the very best of my physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological ability every moment of every day. (more…)