Tweets on 2009-11-15
- Will I see you in Vancouver? I hope you’ll join me at my Phase I workshop. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
- There is nothing wrong about using food to cope. It’s what you learned, it’s a habit, and it can be changed. #
- You can learn how to control your inner critic – the Drill Sgt. #
- Friday is the day we start. Will you join me in Vancouver for a Phase 1 workshop? http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
- If you’ve been sitting on the fence about getting help with your eating disorder, now’s the time to take action. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
- Changing your relationship with food from a stressful to an easy one is possible. You just need a little knowledge and support. #
- There is still time to register for my Van workshop Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
- The way you handle stress is a good predictor of how you’ll use food to cope. #
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As I woke up this morning, the first thought I had, after “Why is that cat on my head!” was of you: My readers and CEDRIC Community members. I was reflecting on a phenomenon I’ve been noticing, which is that I receive far more comments on my articles that are not tools-oriented but more information and thoughts to ponder, than I do on my offerings that have specific steps attached, designed to help you achieve your goals.
I lay there, reflecting on this pattern and noticed that I began to feel a little unsettled, “the niggle” was up! As I asked myself what needs I had that weren’t being met that were triggering that niggle, the answer became clear: I want my readers to be successful in their healing. I don’t want them to stay stuck in the use of food to cope when they don’t have to. I want my writing to inspire them and motivate them to try doing something differently.
It seems like my last article on needs (“Having needs doesn’t make you needy”) struck a deep chord in many readers. That makes perfect sense. It is the fundamental issue. The only reason you ever use food to cope, no exceptions, is because you have needs that aren’t being met in some area of your life and you’ve told yourself that you’re not allowed, not deserving, or just not capable of getting them met, no matter what you do. These stories you’re telling yourself lead you to feel depressed and anxious, lethargic and frantic, in other words, they overwhelm you.
And when you’re feeling overwhelmed about something you believe you can’t do anything to change or resolve, the only thing to do is to find a way to diminish or discount the impact of that thing: to numb out.
Hello out there! Thank you for stopping by and taking the time from your busy day to explore some new ways of looking at life and of being in the world.
One of the themes that comes up every day in my work with clients is needs. Okay, okay, to be honest, it’s usually me bringing it up…..but there’s a really good reason for that. Having needs doesn’t make you needy, it makes you normal.
You see, if you’re overeating, restricting, binging and purging, dieting, drinking, smoking, toking, shopping, gambling, procrastinating, isolating or ruminating on relationships more than you’d like, you’re using a coping strategy. And the only reason any human being ever uses a coping strategy is because they have needs that aren’t being met in some (or many) area(s) of their lives. 
A few weeks ago, during our self-care series, I received this email asking for some specific support around goal setting and changing harmful patterns.
“Thank you for this article, it sounds so easy when you break the goal down into small pieces that are seemingly easily attainable.
I’m really struggling with a lack of sociability. I put off going out and meeting people (even going to the market) and am getting more and more housebound. I find myself dreading any social contact and I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. Can you help me with my goal of being a little more outgoing and getting myself to socialize without throwing myself into a state of panic? Thanks for all your great articles and help.”
For those of you out there also struggling with the coping strategies of isolation, avoidance and procrastination, let me offer you a suggestion for moving past and into an experience of life that is fuller and richer than the one you’re living right now.
Hello out there!! Thanks for tuning in again this week. It really is an honor to know you value me as a professional and share my philosophy enough to take time from your busy lives to explore with me this crazy ride that is life.
Gratitude. An interesting theme. It is Thanksgiving Day in Canada; A time to connect with family and friends and give thanks for the many blessings in our lives. Why only one day a year? Things that make you go hmmmm…?