I had to pull over into the Northfield rest stop to write this, I was desperate to find a restroom, just off the ferry in Nanaimo and once I'd stopped, and rested, I pulled out my blog with the following extruding out of the end of my pen, so inspired I was to write it. I had the good fortune to spend some quality time with a dear friend last night. All the way here from Iqaluit, Deb is one of those amazing people its an honour to know, an honour to be able to call her a sister-by-choice.Debbie has worked as a voice for those who can't speak for themselves, for many years in the furthest reaches of Canada, namely, women in poverty and women escaping from violence. She is wise beyond her years. She was a single mother for years, overcame her own demons to go on to make a huge difference in any community she touches.As usual, our conversation wandered around where we were in each other's lives - and we got to talking about CEDRIC, the blog, core beliefs and how we both dealt with our rascally drill sergeants.We were in Deb's downtown Vancouver hotel suite, pulling open the couch to turn it into my bed and Deb says "the trick is to take those surviving skills and turn them into thriving skills." Sometimes she comes up with such simple sentiments that are so ultimately dead on. Then she pointed out that she couldn't help noticing how my recent soul searching and subsequent life changes has had paid off and how I was now, like her, thriving.
Deb and I go back to the early 90's and we have seen one another navigate through many challenges. Deb nodded. "I remember how good it felt when I started really thriving, and all those survival skills that I picked up along the way are really paying off now that I've shifted them into ‘thriving skills'", she added.
"It's so good to see you thriving" my good friend Deb said and suddenly it felt that by shifting from survival to thrive mode, I'd joined some secret sisterhood, some kind of new agey clan of the people that ‘get' it. In a funny way, I realize now that Deb has had faith in my eventually ‘getting' it - for a long time. She knew I had the capacity, but that I was going to have to come to it in my own time. Now, years later, I AM thriving, and now I'm reaching across, encouraging you to take my lead, my offered hand, and ‘get' it with me as we experience this phenomenal ‘mode shift' time in our illustrious lives. Is it your time?
By addressing that drill sergeant and encouraging him to step down off his soap box, we start on our way to eliminating the discourse of survival in our lives, and this leaves us with the ability to replace it with the discourse of thriving.
Sally Kempton said that it's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in our heads. To that I say, having had to deal with the enemy and vanquish those outposts, I now prefer to not think in terms of anger, fear or control. Yes, it is hard to keep a clear head when the programming has been so deeply and consistently ingrained, but what if I think of my life in terms of a more optimistic perspective, instead?
Instead, there are always challenges that are going to push us past our perceived abilities to cope, the trick is, how to stay in a grounded, positive present, when all those old core beliefs return in a flood and yank at us to revert to the knee-jerk comforts of past responses. Yes, it's going to be challenging because it comes at us from different directions, but instead of choosing to run to food or inebriates or health damaging choices, I for one, am going to continue to try something different.
Maybe, like me, you might also be able to start ‘red flagging' that drill sergeant, putting a muzzle on him without letting that negative diatribe influence your actions. Maybe over time, you'll get better at replacing those inaccurate core beliefs that have less and less hold on you with new, hip and happening ones. One episode at a time, one brick at a time has the potential to build a strong foundation for the resultant shifts and changes in your life, and maybe like Deb and I, you will find that your life begins to support your desire to thrive, not just survive.
Now if only, red-flagging worked on the cold bug I brought back from my travels to the mainland. I hope I didn't sent Deb back to Iqaluit with invisible travelers in her luggage.
Thrive, Don't Just Survive
Drop me a line with some examples of what you consider your best survival skills or worst experiences that taught you the most. Tell me what you're doing to shift your life from surviving to thriving. Send me your stories of how CEDRIC readings and your exposure to the EDRIC community have had positive influences in your shifting from surviving to thriving.
Tina Budeweit-Weeks is a member of the CEDRIC Success Team in the role of staff writer and executive assistant for Michelle Morand. Her philosophy has always been one of self-nurturance and dignity. In support of the complex difficulties clients may experience around regaining a healthy balance, Tina’s writing is designed to sympathize, support, encourage and inform. Although there are many similarities in Tina’s process, she is not a client, but a hard working, behind-the-scenes member of the team, dedicated to helping the CEDRIC Centre stay current and effective.