Tina Budeweit-Weeks is a member of the CEDRIC Success Team in the role of staff writer and executive assistant for Michelle Morand. Her philosophy has always been one of self-nurturance and dignity. In support of the complex difficulties clients may experience around regaining a healthy balance, Tina’s writing is designed to sympathize, support, encourage and inform. Although there are many similarities in Tina’s process, she is not a client, but a hard working, behind-the-scenes member of the team, dedicated to helping the CEDRIC Centre stay current and effective.
You know how sometimes you think a word and the world around you echoes it in some way, such as on the radio in the car, in conversation with people, on tv, on the net? That just happened to me, I was home alone watching the sun crest over the distance and illuminating my deck and the two cats tussling by the window. I said ‘perfect’ softly and not a second later, there was the word again, this time out of the mouth of the tv announcer.
Simultaneously, there is an announcement on TV that interrupts regular programming. It is warning of high winds in the area. In the theme of perfection, that fits right in as I sit here watching the storm approach from the distance.I am anticipating winds of change. I can see the pine cones on the fir just off our balcony getting big and fat and puffing up. They send their little seeds off into the warmer springlike wind which triggers the cones to open wider and release. Today the wind warnings that say winds are to exceed 80mph. MMmmmm… All around me are signs of perfection. Does the pine cone worry if it’s fat or thin? Not on your life. I often catch myself pondering body image issues as they are imposed upon us from within our culture. I think that things like our pets, loaves of bread and people are all beautiful, in all their different shapes and sizes. It is a slim margin of opinion that is hurtful and sends our internal denigrating voices into full opera. The popular media are incredibly invasive all around us, as I don’t need to point out, but as “humans doing” we can’t help but have our guards down every now and then and that’s when those harmful thoughts that want to rain on our parades simply because we can’t conform to some impossible ideal get in. It’s as though the minute we become ‘ungrounded’ our clever Drill Sergeant goes for the throat with another scathing comment that it knows has the power to stop us in our tracks. ‘You can’t kayak because there’s not a kayak out there wide enough’ the voice tells me when I see a beautiful lake photo with kayakers silhouetted against the setting sun, but only if I am in a weakened emotional state and ungrounded. The rest of the time, I’m fine and able to see hear the judgement and not bite. I can’t avoid media, I read the paper, scan the internet constantly, I watch tv at home, and listen to the radio in my vehicle, where I am also besieged by advertising from such venues as the sides of buses, billboards and other signage. I thought about eliminating tv from my life to curtail the cues that are so powerful and subliminal, yet, why banish a form of entertainment that I enjoy? That’s like throwing the baby out with the bathwater, when I am still being exposed to cues in so many other ways anyway. Censorship only hurts those who impose it. So I flail and fumble towards ecstasy. So glad that the word for the day is ‘PERFECT’. As I write, the wind is picking up outside. The house is enveloped in a storm cloud and the cats sit by the window, arduously cleaning themselves, unperturbed by the frantic fir just off the balcony. Perfect.