By the time we wake up and realize that the coping strategy is in control of us, we have essentially built our world around it and our mindset believes it needs that behaviour in order to be okay.
But our coping strategies only ever get us “close” to happy, “close” to perfect, “close” to acceptable – they never get us all the way. The route to happy is in a whole other direction, and you must be willing to let go of your old coping strategy in order to get there. You just have to trust that there is another way and you have to be fed up enough that you’re willing to challenge the Drill Sgt. and your feelings of fear and try something new.