This e-mail came to me last week from a client who is actively making her way through my book. If you haven’t explored the exercise on the inner family, this may inspire you to give it a go. I hope so!
Thank you so much for the tool of dialoging with my ‘inner family’. I absolutely love it! Just this afternoon I was brainstorming a strategy for my business and found my hand wandering over to the bag of chocolate covered pretzels left on my desk from lunch. After eating three or four I became aware that I was eating really quickly and was not physically hungry. Having had such concrete and swift success using the dialoging tool for other issues this week I grabbed my pad and decided to give it a try. With pen in hand and chocolate pretzel still in mouth I began. My Nurturing Parent (NP) tenderly checked in with my Authentic Self asking her what was up. It took less than eight lines on a small notepad for my AuthSelf to voice her concern and feel safe and grounded again. And voila! The chocolate pretzels immediately lost their appeal. There was not one ounce of willpower or external pressure required, I just really didn’t want, or more accurately, need them. With my anxiety soothed and my hunger previously satisfied I simply had no use for them.
Ok, to someone who has used food to cope for 19 long arduous years and has beaten herself up mercilessly for every excess pound that piled on as a result, this is HUGE! I have spent so much energy restricting, exercising (read purging) and reprimanding myself in an attempt to suppress that desperate seemingly uncontrollable drive to eat to no avail. When all it took was a few minutes to check in and calm the little girl inside of me and poof it is gone!
I don’t particularly even like the movie but, imagery from the Wizard of Oz comes flooding to mind as I sit with this experience. The insidious drive to overeat and bad body thoughts personify the Wicked Witch of the West (played by my Drill Sergeant) who has ruled tyrannically until Glinda the Good Witch (played by my Nurturing Parent but sounding at the moment uncannily like M. Morand’s melodic warm voice) swoops along in all her strength and beauty and laughs, “Ha ha ha! You have no power here!” She laughs. That is incredibly significant. She is coming from such a grounded place of peace and confidence. There is no fear to be found in her voice. And in the end Dorothy (my Authentic Self) realizes she had the power to get to where she wanted to be all along with a simple click of her heals, or in my case the click of my pen!
Thank you Michelle!!!