Co-dependence is a Learned Behaviour
Co-dependence is a Learned Behaviour not an innate trait. So don’t give yourself a hard time if you find yourself prioritizing the feelings and needs of others or if you struggle to feel entitled to ask for what you need. Instead get the support and tools you need to learn how to approach your relationships in a functional, rational, interdependent way. Co-dependence is a learned behaviour – find out more:
If your process of individuation was thwarted by your caregivers, either through their own resistance to allowing you to mature; through a death or divorce; through physical or sexual abuse; or through emotional abuse or neglect (guilt trips, manipulation, silent treatment, yelling, judging or labeling, etc.), your needs for dependence were unmet as a child, and you have come to engage in a self-defeating style of relationship called co-dependence.
In co-dependence, you focus all your energy on meeting the other person’s needs. Your happiness feels completely dependent on their happiness and, as such, you are very emotionally vulnerable and have no real sense of security or control in your life.
If your partner is unhappy, you also become unhappy or engage in some emotional and psychological gymnastics in an attempt to determine and correct “what you did”.
It is unbelievable to you that someone’s bad mood or frown doesn’t have anything to do with you. The co-dependent perspective is that you are responsible for everything people think, feel and do.
Wow! That’s a lot of responsibility. You can’t relax until everyone is okay.
And that’s why you’re so anxious and insecure and stressed all the time. That’s why you binge and feel so self-conscious about your body and that’s why your diets don’t work and you struggle day after day, year after year to get a grip on food or alcohol or money etc.
I can teach you what is really true about relationships and how to create relationships that are fulfilling and healthy.
I can show you how to do your best to create that kind of relationship with people who are already in your life and you’ll be amazed at how simple and obvious it is to do this.
Let me help you to have healthy, fulfilling relationships and to stop stressing about food and weight and look and feel great while you’re at it.
Change can be speedy and simple when you have simple, effective tools and a skilled teacher.
Email me and let’s begin some individual counselling or join the online program and get started today.