Self-Compassion is Key
Self-compassion is key to your self-esteem, confidence, and happiness in all areas of your life. No exceptions – you can’t fake it to yourself or to others.
Try this little exercise and then read on to help yourself explore your feelings and thoughts about self-compassion.
Notice what resistance may be arising to this notion; just do your best to allow those feelings, while being aware of any resistance you may be experiencing. Let it be okay to feel what you feel.
And as you are allowing the resistance and the feelings of fear and doubt, know that what you are really doing is being compassionate with yourself.
This is the key to never again needing to use food to cope.
If there is any resistance in you to the thought of offering yourself self-compassion, ask what you did to deserve to be treated with such disregard and negativity. Whatever the answer, could you just allow yourself to feel as deserving of self-harm as you do? Just sit for a moment and allow yourself to feel as deserving of pain, suffering, and all the grim things you have in your life. You’ve been telling yourself for years that there is something wrong with you and that you’re not acceptable as your are or worthy of love and care. Let yourself really let go and wallow in that thought for a moment.
Do you notice the resistance? If you’re so undeserving of that love and acceptance that you seek (and everyone else seeks too by the way) why are you resisting that story?
Because some part of you doesn’t think it’s really true! Some part of you doesn’t really think that you’re so undeserving, just that you haven’t yet found the right people/person to love you. Why not give that part of yourself a little air time and let it offer you some thoughts about what is good about you – regardless of whether others see it or not. You know that there is something in you that is competent and worthy, loving and loveable – you just fear, because of past experiences and because of your confused thinking, that you’ll never be seen for the loving, amazing person you really are.
And sweetheart, that’s going to be a self-fulfilling prophesy if you don’t challenge yourself to learn to think rationally and to feel and express confidence in yourself regardless of what others think and feel. That is the true secret to self-esteem and loving, passionate, fulfilling relationships. Don’t wait for someone else to see your worth – see it in yourself and shout it from the rooftops – or at least from your balcony! Then watch as the people around you see it too.
Life is backwards and very ironic sometimes – but it works if you’re thinking clearly. You can create a life for yourself that is peaceful and passionate, fulfilling and enjoyable; a life that has a natural flow or groove to it, rather than that same old rut you’ve been living in.
Now could you let it be okay to offer yourself compassion and love? Even for a moment?
If so – go for it – enjoy.
If not, what are the thoughts that pop into your head that prevent you from just allowing compassion and love for yourself?
What is wrong with you? What do you have to do, be, or have before you can be deserving of self-compassion and self-love?
Let me help set you straight.