Archive for News

Not Another New Year’s Resolution

Posted by on Accepting Your Eating Disorder and Talking About It A year and a half ago, Deb Purse was ready for drastic measures. A veteran of diets, Deb decided her New Year Resolution would be to lose the weight she’d been battling since she was 10 years old. Her solution was extreme, gastric by-pass surgery. At the time, a procedure with a mortality rate of 1 in 200 seemed better than going on another diet, or worse, spending the rest of her life overweight. After much soul searching though, Purse didn’t go through with surgery. Instead, she sought to combat her weight by understanding it on a deeper level. Deb joined a counselling group at The CEDRIC Centre, and it was there that she began to resolve her history with food and weight. The CEDRIC Centre (Community Eating Disorder and Related Issues Counselling), specializes in the treatment of clinical eating disorders, sub-clinical disordered eating patterns, and related issues such as anxiety, depression, and distorted body image. Their counselors provide bodywork, group, and individual counselling, as well as community outreach presentations for schools, educators, and health professionals. All of The CEDRIC Centre’s counsellors have long standing recovery from an eating disorder, and are proud to have facilitated the recovery of hundreds of men and women in Victoria, BC and beyond. At first, Deb was skeptical. She didn’t think of herself as someone with an eating disorder. And she didn’t see how talking about food would work. “It took me some time to talk about things that I had never mentioned to a soul in my life. It took awhile to even hone in on what my problems were.” In her groups, Purse discovered she wasn’t alone in her struggles with food, weight, and the complicated emotions that led her to over eat. For the first time she had a name for what she did, compulsive eating. Compulsive eating is estimated to affect up to 30% of the population and yet, like Purse, most people have never heard of this eating disorder. “Too me,” said Purse, “eating disorders were bulimia and anorexia. I had never heard or thought that being overweight could be a disorder.” It is often assumed people with eating disorders experienced childhood trauma. While there is a correlation between eating disorders and trauma, it’s not the rule. In fact, recalling her own childhood, Purse conjures up the image of the typical middle class Canadian family. “I used to say I had a ‘Leave it to Beaver’ childhood, and I did. There was never any physical abuse, we never wanted for anything. My parents were normal, my Mum would bake pies on Sunday, and my Dad would look after our large yard and he would fix things.” Regardless of her happy childhood, Purse developed an eating disorder. She learned to use food to stuff feelings that might upset her family. Eventually, she lost touch of her feelings altogether. “All my life I gave the impression that I was confident and I never new it was just a cover up for my insecurities. I had given them different titles like, ‘shy around strangers’, ‘don’t like to rock the boat’, ‘don’t hurt their feelings by saying the truth’,” Purse said. Spring is a particularly tough time for people who struggle with food and weight issues. Michelle Morand, Founder and Director of The Cedric Centre explains, “We’re bombarded with messages to diet, and for those who grapple with food issues, diets only lead to binges and self-recrimination. And more diets.” “There are many studies that support the statement diets don’t work. You may lose weight on a diet, but there is a less than 5% chance that you will be successful in keeping it off,” says Morand. Despite the stats, it is predicted that more than three-quarters of all wo me n between the ages of 25 and 54 make diet and weight-loss resolutions each year, according to a nationwide survey sponsored by Gardenburger Inc. Nearly nine out of ten respondents reported only occasional or no success, while almost half lost little or actually gained weight instead, the survey found. Morand says, “It’s no wonder so many women feel overwhelmed, 35% of those with disordered eating behaviors started those behaviors after a diet.” Purse echoes the shared experience of many, “Diets only worked as long as they were the focal point of my life. As soon as anything changed in my life, I would be back eating as usual. It wasn’t natural for me to eat less-I was obsessed with food and it controlled my mind for most of my waking hours, magnified when on a diet. I would starve myself for days, weeks, and then, I couldn’t take it any longer, and I would run for my favorite foods.” Of her New Year’s Resolution’s, Purse is pragmatic, “Like most people, I did the New Year’s resolution diets, but they aren’t worth mentioning. I joined gyms and went on diets but before 2 weeks were up, so was I!” But her involve me nt with The CEDRIC Centre is a different story. “I have benefited so much that it makes me emotional to think about it. I am so much stronger as a person, I have much more confidence, and self worth.” As for the weight loss surgery, Purse is quick to answer. “My sister had the surgery about two years ago. She paid about $4,000.00 for her surgery. I am very grateful that I didn’t go that route. I don’t think she’s as happy with the success as she thought she would be.” Purse beams as she concludes, “Food is no longer the devil in my head. But there is more than just releasing that hold, I have learned a lot about why I am the way I am, and I’m working on insecurities that had accumulated for 49 years. I just celebrated my 50 th birthday, and I am confident that my next 50 years will be so much richer, and more fulfilling.” By, Brooke Finnigan  

Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

Healthy lifestyle, or politically correct eating disorder?

Posted by on Katherine Dedyna Times Colonist Vegetarianism a healthy lifestyle or not — it’s up to you. But counselor Michelle Morand is worried that many people use vegetarianism as a method to mask an eating disorder. Victoria eating disorders expert Michelle Morand used to binge on “giant salads with tonnes of dressing” in her years as a vegetarian with a serious food fixation. Based on her personal experience and her clientele at an eating disorder centre, Morand worries that vegetarianism a healthy lifestyle  is being used as a socially sanctioned way to mask eating disorders. “I would say at least one-quarter of our client population is currently or has been vegetarian,” says Morand, 34, founder of the Community Eating Disorder and Related Issues Counselling Centre (CEDRIC), and a registered clinical counsellor. “It’s really clear that people who have disordered eating patterns and concerns about body image are turning to vegetarianism as a way to get away with restricting themselves.” Morand is not alone in her concerns. A leading dietitian and advocate for vegetarianism, Brenda Davis, notes in Becoming Vegan that up to 50 per cent of people with anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa are vegetarian. But she writes that “the large majority of vegetarian or vegan anorexics and bulimics chose this eating pattern after the onset of their disease. The restricted vegetarian or vegan eating pattern legitimizes the removal of numerous high fat, energy dense foods such as meat, poultry, fish, eggs, cheese, ice cream, milk, yogurt, sour cream, whipping cream, butter, and numerous desserts and main dishes containing these foods.” These vegetarians ignore healthful vegan foods such as nuts, seeds, nut butters avocados to limit calories. Morand says people who feel pressure to be thin, and cut out meat for that reason, may not even be aware of their motives. “They’re not doing it because they’re interested in health and wellness,” she says. But it’s difficult for outsiders to question a choice ostensibly made for ethical or health reasons. Meredith Weiss, 23, a Saanich accountant who has been a strict vegetarian for two-and-a-half years, couldn’t disagree more. “I think that’s absolutely silly,” she says. “I’ve heard of people going vegetarian to lose weight and it certainly helps,” she says, but that has nothing to do with eating disorders. “The vegetarians I know are all healthy.” But recent studies dovetail with the concerns of Davis and Morand. A 2003 study published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association found that “self-reported vegetarianism may be a marker for college women at risk for disordered eating.” The study tracked 143 California college students, of whom 30 were vegetarians, all with similar height, weight, age and body mass. The scores on an Eating Attitudes Test showed 37 per cent of the vegetarians at risk for disordered eating compared with eight per cent of non-vegetarians. A much larger University of Minnesota study of 4,746 adolescents published in the Journal of Adolescent Health in 2001 found that vegetarians were more likely to be dissatisfied with their bodies and be involved in healthy and unhealthy forms of weight control. They had been told more often by a physician that they had an eating disorder and they were more likely to have contemplated or tried suicide. Vesanto Melina, a B.C. registered dietitian and author of Becoming Vegetarian, stresses there is no cause and effect relationship between vegetarianism and eating disorders although people who have eating disorders may label themselves as vegetarians “so that they won’t have to eat.” Melina, who co-authored Becoming Vegan with Davis, says that responsible studies should screen out people with eating disorders from the sample of vegetarians with a healthy diet. A refusal to eat higher fat, energy-dense vegetarian foods or added fats in salad dressings are red flags, Davis writes. “People who turn to vegetarianism as a politically correct eating disorder typically don’t do it well,” agrees Morand. They just cut out the meat, fish or dairy products and don’t ensure they are getting the necessary iron and protein. “That was my case. It took me years to start exploring tofu. So for a long time, I was very unhealthy because I really wasn’t getting the nutrition that I needed.” Weiss contends that getting enough protein is simple: a cup of soy milk, a veggie wiener and a veggie turkey sandwich give her a day’s intake. Morand didn’t lose weight as a vegetarian because she would still binge on nachos and salsa. And young women today doing the same thing will still suffer food and body image obsessions as well as serious health implications. Morand says she’s all in favour of people opting not to eat meat for ethical or environmental reasons; she just worries about lifestyle changes morphing into an eating disorder. Morand had a “crazy and uncontrollable need for food” when she was in her 20s. She thought of food much of the day, ate when she wasn’t hungry, exercised compulsively and underwent six months of weekly and twice-weekly counselling sessions to come to terms with her search for comfort in food and find confidence in her body and trust in her own needs. When she was pregnant with her son, nearly four, she had cravings for meat and abandoned vegetarianism. MINDFUL EATING: The Community Eating Disorder and Related Issues Counselling Centre is offering several courses in the near future. A two-day workshop on mindful eating is slated for Feb. 28-29 at a cost of $150, and a five-week course on Letting Go of Emotional Eating will begin March 24 at Commonwealth Place from 5:30-7 p.m. at a cost of $91. The latter also begins Feb. 5 from noon-2 p.m. and is offered bi-weekly at the Cedric Centre. For more information, call 383-0797. Ran with fact box “Mindful Eating” which has been appended to the story. © Copyright 2004 Times Colonist (Victoria)  

Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

Raising Natural Eaters

Posted by on Appeared in October 2003 Issue of Island Parent Magazine You’ve prepared a wonderful dinner for your family. Chicken Marsala , fresh spinach salad, and a creamy risotto. Just as you’re about to tuck in, the kids start to complain. They pick at the rice, stab at the chicken, and whine about the spinach. The battle over food has begun. You want them to eat healthy, nutritious meals, and they want hot dogs and ice cream. Over the years, our perceptions about parenting and food have changed. We’ve been implored to make sure our children eat enough fruits and veggies, avoid processed foods, and watch their fat intake. The results have left everyone, especially concerned parents, scratching their heads. Because if this approach works, then why isn’t it working? A third of Canada ‘s adults are considered obese, as are a quarter of our children. Thirty-three percent of women report the onset of an eating disorder at the ages of eleven-fifteen. Fifty percent of nine-year-old girls and eighty percent of ten-year-old girls have dieted. Fifteen percent of college aged women relate to the term disordered eating, and thirty percent of the nation admits to binge eating. Yet, we’re also a nation of calorie counters, dieters, and health conscious parents. The dichotomy lies in the Diet Mentality, and the answer lies in Natural Eating. The Diet Mentality is a way of thinking that has been ingrained in us by messages we receive from our family and friends, from advertisements, and media messages. These views about how we should look, feel and behave have become a part of our way of life. According to the diet me ntality, there are good and bad foods and you are good or bad depending on what you eat, and how much. Eating is restricted to certain times of the day, (breakfast, lunch, dinner), which forces us to tune out to our body’s natural hunger and fullness signals. Natural Eating, the opposite of the diet mentality, isn’t defined by rules. It’s about listening to your body, and feeding it on demand. Everything is legal. Pizza for breakfast, pancakes for dinner. As long as you’re eating when you’re physically hungry and stopping at fullness, you’re eating naturally. But rather than being the precursor for wild abandon and unchecked indulgence, the fact that we are allowing ourselves what we really want, actually means we eat less and are more satisfied. Therefore, we focus less on food. A basic analogy is one every parent can understand: Potty training. Why is it that after toddlers are potty trained, we step back and never question their inalienable right to use the bathroom, when and where they need it? After a child learns to use the bathroom successfully on their own, we trust their judgment that they will be able to regulate themselves, and know when to use the bathroom. Eating can and should be, the same way. It’s a natural function, and at one point, we were all able to regulate our hunger. If we were lucky as infants and toddlers, our cries for hunger were answered, regardless of whether it was a set mealtime . We ate when we were hungry, and stopped when we reached fullness. It is very, very rare for an infant or toddler to be obese, unless, a caretaker intercedes in some way, or there is an existent medical condition. Unless food becomes an emotional issue, there is no reason for children to overeat on a daily basis. A recent study conducted by Donna Sprujitz Metz at USC, showed that the more a parent pressured a child to eat, the less the child ate. The flip side is also true: The more parents pressure children not to eat the more the child internalizes the message, “I’m not okay the way I am,” and seeks comfort in food – thus eating more rather than less. Alternately, if a parent motivates a child to eat something they don’t want with promises of a treat after, they unwittingly give the child two very conflicted messages. First, tune out to your internal signals of fullness. Secondly, someone else knows more about your needs than you do. Parents must set some boundaries. But, making a child eat something they don’t want, and then rewarding their behaviour with food, sends a very dangerous message that distances our children from the natural signals that their bodies give off about fullness and hunger levels. Here are some common questions parents have on the topic: If I follow the Natural Eating approach won’t my child binge on junk food and become overweight? Aren’t I encouraging obesity? In the beginning of the process, your child may consume a diet that is filled with processed, fatty foods. And this is when it’s most important to step back, and reserve judgment. Once your child trusts that they will not be restricted or criticized, those previously taboo foods lose all power and allure. Part of growing up is becoming independent. Eventually, your children will have to learn to make food choices on their own. If they’re school aged, they already do so on a daily basis: at school, with friends, and while you’re apart. Giving them the tools and permission to stay in touch with their inner hunger and fullness signals is a gift. Okay, this sounds like something my family would like to try, how? Letting go of control of your child’s diet is difficult in our culture. Giving them autonomy over their food intake will take ti me and practice. Start with a discussion. Let your children know you’re trying something new, you’re letting them make their own decisions around food, and you trust them. Your child won’t starve, won’t become undernourished, or overweight if you let them have what they want without guilt. Guilt is a major factor in disordered eating. The body knows what it needs. Eventually, the body will demand veggies, fruit, and whole grains. Continue to provide these options, model natural eating for your children and they, too will associate food with nourishment. What if I let my child eat whenever he/she wants and the overeating or constant eating of junk food continues? How long, is too long? How long depends on each child. Generally, a parent could expect that the more the child perceived certain foods as being off limits, the more time he or she will need to adjust to their newfound freedom, and experiment with hunger, satiety, and even overeating. 3-6 months would be average. After that, it’s probably time to check in as a family. What do I do if my child is reaching for food when they aren’t hungry? Occasionally, even natural eaters will use food for emotional comfort. This is normal. If you see your child reaching for cookies after being teased during school, and you know she’s just eaten, you can bet she is eating to soothe her pain. Let her have her cookies, and talk to her after the binge. By doing this, you’ve acknowledged both emotional pain and her autonomy. Most importantly, you’ve provided her with alternate coping skills. Next time, she’ll be able to deal with the problem directly. On the other hand, if your child is consistently reaching for food for comfort, this is an indication that they have adopted food as a coping mechanism to avoid other, more painful issues. If your child is frequently eating/restricting for emotional reasons, it’s important to get help. By following natural eating as a family, you’re giving your children independence, and encouraging them to trust themselves and their bodies. Gone are the heated arguments and the power struggles over food. Your children are less likely to develop eating disorders, to diet, and are more likely to have higher self-esteem and self-awareness. By, Brooke Finnigan  

Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

By Elianna Lev

Posted by on

On a winter evening in 1992, Michelle Morand was working up a sweat at the gym to burn off all of the calories she had consumed earlier. She would often exercise vigorously for hours at a time after one of her eating binges.
At the end of her exhaustive workout, Morand happened across a nutritional brochure that asked such questions as "Do you feel controlled by food?" and "Do you eat when you are physically not hungry?"

She considered all of the questions carefully and then to her surprise the 32-year-old recalls"answering ‘yes’ to six of them,"That’s when she realized her poor body image and compulsive eating habits were neither normal nor healthy.

Shortly after she had made her startling revelation, she tried to seek out help but there wasn’t any to be found. There was plenty of help for people suffering from anorexia and bulimia, but no one seemed concerned at that time about Morand’s particular problem.

"Seven years ago, compulsive eating was seen as lazy," she explains. So after a considerable search, she finally found a specialist in Vancouver who she visited with for six months. It was during her counselling sessions with the specialist that Morand decided she wanted to help others who were afflicted with her problem. She returned to school and completed her master’s degree in counselling from Gonzaga University in Spokane, Washington in 1995.

About four years later she decided there was a desperate need for a clinic that focused on compulsive eating and so she "dipped" into her savings to open the Community Eating Disorder and Related Issues Counselling Centre (CEDRIC).

Originally, the plan was for the centre to specialize only in compulsive eating but Morand decided that there should also be a focus on other problems. The clinic provides counselling to people who suffer from all eating disorders, including anorexia and bulimia. Staff members also address other issues that typically accompany eating disorders like low self-esteem, depression and abuse. All four of the counsellors who are currently on staff at the clinic have recovered from a disordered eating pattern.

CEDRIC sees about 100 patients per year. The centre provides group and solo counselling as well as physical therapy such as Reiki and zero balancing, a technique designed to align energy fields. And while Morand admits that some people might dismiss such therapy as "airy fairy", she says she provides it because there is a demand.
"So many of our clients saw a significant jump in their recovery with the use of this therapy," she explains.

Sandra (who asked that we not use her real name) is a recovering compulsive eater who has been meeting with counsellors at CEDRIC for the past two years. "It’s been overpowering, life altering," says the 34-year-old. "It’s been amazing overall." She learned about the clinic after a nutritionist at the Saanich Peninsula Hospital recommended it. She says she has been trying to cope with compulsive eating all of her life.

"I always knew it was a problem, but it got to a point where I didn’t know what I was doing to myself," Johnson explains. "(The CEDRIC centre) gave me the basic understanding as to why I was doing what I was doing."
She says that the clinic went beyond any other help she’s sought out. "It’s not a bandage," she says of the help she has received, "it’s a cure."

Morand has set high goals for herself in terms of the clinic. One day, she hopes to help other people like Johnson, all across the country. "Our goal is to educate the community about prevention. I have a greater vision than just the clinic in Victoria," she says. "It’s just the start."

The CEDRIC centre is offering a workshop for parents who want to raise their kids free of eating disorders. The workshop is aimed to educate parents about harmful eating patterns they might put on their children.
"Some parents may have their own concerns about weight that may not have been addressed," says the centre’s founder Michelle Morand. "But our intention isn’t to dump on parents for doing it properly or not."

The workshop is aimed to give parents the tools to guide their children towards a healthy relationship with their bodies and food. It will take place Saturday (Nov. 23) from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. at the CEDRIC Centre, 205-661 Burnside Road East. It’s recommended to call and reserve a spot. For more information call 383-0797.
Articles are published at The CEDRIC Centre website for information and tracking purposes, they feature qoutes from our counsllors and information about our work. We are not responsible for the content of any article and can only assume responsibility for direct qoutes.


Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

Taming the Beast: Writer’s Block – the writer’s deadliest foe

Posted by on by Brooke Finnigan If you’re reading this, then the drive to write is already there. You know both the intoxicating high of writing for eight hours straight, and the frustrating low of spending an hour on a single word choice. Doubtless, you’ve fallen in love with your characters and spent hours matching the words on the page to the vision in your mind. Writing is hard work, yet it’s fulfilling. But there’s one little thing we’re all hesitant to mention: writer’s block. It’s a jinx; just saying the words can mean you’re suddenly struck with the debilitating disease. My pet theory is that writer’s block has nothing to do with writing. In fact, it has everything to do with your state of mind. If you weren’t a writer you’d call it a slump, a bad week, depression. But as writers, we tend to relate our whole world to our work; we eat, sleep, and even breathe writing. And maybe that’s why writer’s block is so common, so integral to being a writer. Writer’s block is a process, an insidious dilemma that sneaks in and wreaks havoc. The good thing, though, is that we can prevent and treat writer’s block more effectively than we think. It’s not a curse, it’s a cue. If you’re working ten hours a day with no breaks, then you’re asking to crash. Many of us think of this as a naturally occurring phenomenon, that you can’t have the bout of extreme creativity without paying for it later. And we accept this as a necessary evil. Or maybe you’re not writing at all, and instead find yourself staring at an almost blank screen feeling alternately guilty, frustrated, and conflicted. Both cases are more similar than they first appear. We’re attributing our success, or lack thereof, to something beyond our control. Something that happened to us, almost magically, rather than something we did. Just as a good streak builds upon itself, so does a bad streak; our thoughts reinforce our actions. If we reverse our thoughts, we reverse writer’s block. It really is that simple. Underneath writer’s block is fear. According to therapist Michelle Morand, writer’s block is most often triggered by self-critical thoughts. Doubt creeps in and it grows. We become anxious. Then we indulge in behavior that isn’t helpful to reversing the onslaught of negative thoughts; we work ourselves even harder, and we speak to ourselves more harshly. And, because no one can work under such a negative and punitive strain, we begin to collapse under our self-imposed weight. The sad thing is that this confirms our worst fear: that we are just hacks, after all. Our critical thoughts increase, we get deeper into the slump, and then the process repeats itself over and over, ad nausuem. On paper it sounds clinical, almost too easy to be true. But remember this, no one ever excelled under negative encouragement. That was the most difficult thing for me to accept when breaking the cycle of writer’s block. I had control, I created this situation, and my old patterns of thinking – to push, prod, and push some more – were not only ineffective tools for motivation, they were causing my writer’s block. The last thing many of us want to hear is that we need to start treating ourselves gently. We buck against the suggestion. But that’s exactly what I’m proposing. And maybe the harder we resist such an idea; the more we need to consider putting it into practice. The next time you find yourself slipping into a bad case of the dreaded Block, ask yourself these questions: Are these self-critical thoughts about my abilities as a writer helpful to me or are they getting in my way? Think of your next bout with writer’s block as a blessing in disguise. Morand recommends paying close attention to when your inner critic pops up. In particular, what does your inner critic say, and how does he/she say it? Pay attention to regional accents, gender, intonation, and choice of words. You might be surprised to realize that the voice belongs to someone close to you. Most often it’s a parent or a spouse, but it can also take the guise of a teacher, a sibling, or a boss. Once you’ve identified the voice, then work to neutralize it. Nip the inner critic in the bud with a phrase like: “That was my old way of thinking. What you’re saying isn’t true. I am a good writer.” Or, take it a step further. Morand suggests having a written dialogue with your inner critic. Challenge your negative voices and expose them to the light of day. That way, when they do pop up it’ll be even easier to dismiss them for what they are: nonsense. Am I expecting myself to be perfect? Who else do I expect this of? One of the best things you can do for yourself when the block is on your back is to switch perspectives. Look at yourself and your work from a different point of view. Depersonalize the situation. Would you be as critical of a friend as you are of yourself? Do you expect the people in your life to be perfect? No, so why should you expect it of yourself then? Am I thinking in all or nothing terms? This is a trap, advises Morand. It’s the perfect way to paralyze yourself into not writing at all. As long as you plan for the steps between the local paper and the Times bestseller list, it’s helpful to have lofty goals. But, when you box yourself in with unrealistic expectations, you’re asking to fail. The next question to ask is why are you making it so hard to succeed? Many writers are more afraid of success than they think. Get in touch with that inner critic again and find out why you don’t think you’re worthy enough to make it all the way to the top. Am I condemning my writing on the basis of a single event/difficulty? One rejection letter and a bad week do not a horrible writer make. Don’t let small setbacks keep you from seeing the bigger picture. Quell your inner critic and get back to writing. A writer writes. Period. Am I concentrating on my weaknesses instead of my strengths? Re-train yourself to accentuate the positive and to work around a problem until a solution utilizing your talents can be found. It may sound odd, but equate your strengths and weaknesses to training a dog. When the dog obeys, you lavish it with praise. When it doesn’t, you move on for a while and try something new. You wouldn’t whack Fido over the head with a newspaper because he doesn’t comprehend a concept, so why is it perfectly acceptable to beat yourself up when you uncover a weakness? Attacking yourself for weaknesses, perceived or otherwise, is counter-productive to becoming a better writer. What perspectives might be helpful to me and how can I put them into practice? When have you thrived most: under punitive conditions or positive encouragement? Which of the two is more conducive to writing? Be honest and realistic. Chances are, like most people, you work best when you feel supported and understood. Treat yourself as gently as you would another in your situation. How can I create a nurturing environment for myself when it comes to writing? Do you write best on your own, in bursts, or on the weekends? How can you turn off your inner critic and trust your innate knowledge as a writer? Don’t be afraid to experiment to find what’s right for you. Some people are night writers while others get their best work done in the early hours of the morning. Most of all, remember to be your own champion. There’ll always be people out there to criticize your best efforts or sabotage your peace of mind; don’t waste your time trying to beat them to the punch. If you don’t make yourself and your writing a priority, no one else will. Every writer has a distinctive rhythm and style. As a group, we’re likely to judge our accomplishments, and even the volume of our work, against writers we perceive as more successful. Writing is not a contest designed to compare the merit of two people on the basis of their writing ability. Nor is it a race to see who can get to the finish line first. It’s an expression of the spirit, and thankfully, no two spirits are alike. Works Cited: Morand, Michelle. Personal Interview. 6 November 2000 Appeared in Netauthor E2K: http://www.netauthor.org/e2k/stacks/finnigan.html  

Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

Vegetarianism or politically correct eating disorder?

Posted by on Written by Brooke Finnigan for The National Eating Disorder Information Bulletin Whether vegetarian diet and weight loss for health, religion or for ethics, research exists about the benefits of a plant based diet. Recent research also shows that a growing number of people, especially women in their late teens, are adopting vegetarian and vegan diets in order to lose weight, maintain low body weight, and mask restrictive eating patterns. A study from the University of Minnesota found teen vegetarians are more likely to have eating disorders than non-vegetarians. In this study, vegetarians were more likely to contemplate and attempt suicide, and vegetarian males were noted as an especially high risk group for unhealthy weight control practices. The research indicated that teens who were already susceptible to emotional difficulties were drawn to vegetarianism as a means to lose weight and fit in, but that vegetarianism itself had no correlation with emotional difficulties. In another study, conducted at California State University-Northridge, researchers found college women who claimed to be vegetarians had a significantly greater risk of developing eating disorders than their meat-eating peers. The overlap between eating disorders and vegetarianism occurs because vegetarianism is a way for men and women to openly control their food choices, without attracting negative attention to their behaviour. Also, many believe that restricting meat from a diet will lead to weight loss, believes Michelle Morand, founder of The CEDRIC Centre, an eating disorder counselling centre in Victoria, B.C. “Family, friends, clinicians, and vegetarians themselves, need to know that the potential exists for vegetarianism and veganism to mask an eating disorder,” Morand said. This doesn’t mean vegetarianism is the cause of an eating disorder, or that people shouldn’t adopt a vegetarian lifestyle, but it may be a way for the individual who is struggling with food and weight issues to justify her or his restrictive eating behaviours.

Vegetarian Diet and Weight Loss

Carol Tickner, R.D. Nutrition Therapist with the Eating Disorders Program in the Capital Region cites two possibilities for the increase in popularity of vegetarianism. ” Vegetarianism has been promoted as a healthy way of managing weight. With weight being such a focus in our society, it makes sense to some as a way of managing weight, and health, at the same time,” she says. “For those teenagers who have disordered eating tendencies, becoming vegetarian can be a way of trying to respond to a changing body, (weight gain due to puberty), in a healthy way, vs. dieting like their friends.” However, this is just dieting for weight-loss in another form. In many ways, beliefs about animal protein in diets versus plant-only diets are similar to the messages we hear about physical appearance in North American culture. In both cases, we are given conflicting messages. In one breath we’re admonished not to judge a book by its cover, and in the next, we can never be too rich or too thin . In a similar vein, we say one thing about the humane treatment of animals, and treat our pets as mini-humans, but frequently farm animals for food under dreadful conditions. This cultural hypocrisy is increasingly in the media with stories of unsanitary conditions and contamination of foods. And, at this stage in their lives, young adults are acutely aware of societal doubletalk. “Teenagers are searching for meaning and a way of being in the world that expresses their individuality. This is exactly what they are meant to do at this stage in development.” says Morand. “They’re in the process of individuation, separating from their parents, developing and testing their own value systems, and learning about who they are. By choosing a plant-based diet, they’re choosing to exist on the planet in a different way than most of their parents’ generation. For many teenagers, becoming a vegetarian may be the first informed, adult decision they make.” Why Go Veggie? Vegeterian diets can reduce risk from certain cancers by up to 40%, decrease the possibility of heart disease by over 30%, and lower high blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. A plant-based diet can also be environmentally friendly. By eating a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, less packaging and processing is needed. On the other hand, as popularity for vegetarian diets increases, more packaged foods are available to supplement and complement the traditional vegetarian diet, which means more waste from packaging. Some religions advocate a vegetarian lifestyle. Some people choose a vegetarian diet over an omnivorous one out of ethical concerns for animals. Many vegetarians are concerned about the wide spread usage of factory farming, growth hormones, and abuse of animals designated for human consumption. It is also cheaper to consume a vegetarian diet than to include animal products in one’s shopping basket. ” There is an increased societal awareness about where our food comes from and more people taking an interest in how animals are treated. This was especially brought to the forefront last year with mad cow disease and the chicken flu,” says Tickner. In addition to eschewing meat and animal by-products in their diets, a large number of vegetarians purchase animal friendly cosmetics, and cleaning products that haven’t been tested on animals, as well as alternative sources for leather, silk and wool products. The Incredible Lightness of Being Vegetarian Adherents of a vegetarian lifestyle have always touted the health benefits, and in recent years, as coverage of the obesity crisis continues to influence public policy, some organizations have linked a plant based diet with slenderness. Given our cultural preference and pressure around thinness, (which is seen as an indication of a person’s worthiness in North American culture), it seems inevitable that vegetarianism would be adopted as yet another tool in the quest for weight loss. In his book, The Obesity Myth , author Paul Campos argues that we use body weight as an indication of “moral fitness”. Culturally, we idealize people who have managed to sublimate their appetites and become, or remain, slender. In this puritanical atmosphere, fatness isn’t just a body type description, but an alleged indication of how a person really is: undisciplined, stupid, and unworthy. Fatness is one of the last socially sanctioned forms of discrimination in our culture, and avoiding fatness is often used as an added allure to becoming vegetarian. On vegetarian websites, in magazines and books, weight loss is often included as a benefit of switching to a plant based diet. PETA, (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), in particular, correlates a vegetarian diet with being thin. Recent advertising campaigns have included “jokes” about fat passengers needing two airline seats as a reason to go vegetarian,and equating letting children eat meat to child abuse. While PETA is notorious for its overstated style of linking health, body weight, and vegetarianism, most other groups are subtler. But the connection between health and weight continues to thrive in the minds of many people. In fact, for many, health and thinness are synonymous. The reality is, it’s possible to be a healthy, happy person, at any size, vegetarian or not. And creating false categories for health based on body size is one way in which the health and weight loss industry overlap, and, reap sizable profits. A person’s weight will tend to fall into a certain range that the body is happiest and healthiest at, called our “set point” or “natural” weight, and will tend to want to return to this weight range despite strict calorie restriction or excessive exercise. Many other fact ors affect a person weight, not only the type of food they eat, but the quantity of food they eat, the amount of activity they get, and their genetics. A healthy vegetarian, Carol Tickner explains, is someone who “t akes the time to ensure that they are getting all the nutrients their body needs. This person would be eating vegetarian sources of protein at all meals and making sure they find alternate sources of protein, which is required to maintain a healthy metabolism, repair and build new tissue, and boost immunity, calcium, iron, zinc, and Vitamin D & B12 as well as omega-3 fatty acids.” Morand adds, “To me, a healthy vegetarian is someone at peace with their decision to avoid animal products, and is committed to enjoying foods that nurture their bodies and spirits. A healthy person is someone who has energy, listens to his or her body, and feeds it accordingly.” Feeding the soul Morand has worked with many young women over the years who have used vegetarianism to cloak an eating disorder. “Typically, they don’t want to worry people in their lives, and saying they can’t eat something because of their moral commitment to vegetarianism is a safe way to avoid conflict or suspicion, especially since many people aren’t educated on the topic.” “Some are in denial about their behavior, or if they have just begun down the path of disordered eating, they are still in that period where they believe they are “benefiting” from the behavior. They may be getting positive attention and reinforcement from their family and peers for their commitment and/or weight loss.” In any case, Morand continues, “it’s important to remember that the eating disorder, whether masked by vegetarianism or not, is a coping mechanism, and the person struggling has adopted it to camouflage other, more painful issues in their lives. They aren’t lying or manipulating, they’re just trying to cope in the best way they know how.” It isn’t necessary to give up vegetarianism in order to recover from an eating disorder. However, an honest exploration of the motivations behind the choice to cut animal products from one’s diet is fundamental to the recovery process. If someone is truly dedicated to a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle for ethical reasons, then he/she has to be true to themselves and honor their decision. But, if the original impetus was weight loss or gaining a sense of control over their relationship with food, the greatest gift that they can give to themselves is to authentically explore what may be currently taking place in their lives, or what may have occurred in the past, to lead them to feel that they lack control to the extent that they are seeking it in their relationship with food. Then they are in a position to solve the real problem, and no longer expend their energy trying to control the symptom.  
  • Neumark-Sztainer D., et al. Adolescent vegetarians : a behavioral profile of a school-based population in Minnesota . Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine 1997 Aug; 151(8): 833-838.
  • Klop, Sheree, et al Self-reported vegetarianism may be a marker for college women at risk for disordered eating, Archives of Journal of American Dietetic Association , 2003, June, 103:745-747
  • http://www.vegsoc.org
 

Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

A Safe Place Within: How Meditation Helped Me Recover from Food Obsession

Posted by on By Alison McCabe Two years ago, I started breathing and stopped bingeing. Through an acquaintance, I met someone who introduced me to the power of the breath. Since then, I have been on an incredible journey of healing and growing that has let me learn to live life without bingeing or dieting and accept myself and others unconditionally. Recently, meditation has been attracting a lot of attention on the internet and in alternative health circles, but it has been used by many cultures for centuries. Buddhists, Hindus, Christians, and Muslims use meditation and prayer to connect with God and overcome inner obstacles to peace and serenity. Today, we are discovering that meditation has more than spiritual or religious uses. Many studies have shown that the potential health benefits range from enhancing the immune system by increasing the activity of “natural-killer cells” which kill bacteria and cancer cells and reducing the activity of viruses, to lowering blood pressure by increasing blood flow and slowing heart rate. But, more importantly, meditation actually helps to calm the body and heal the soul. Research has also shown that, by lowering the levels of blood lactate, increasing serotonin production (low levels of serotonin are associated with depression, obesity, insomnia and headaches), and shifting brain activity from the stress-prone right frontal cortex to the calmer left frontal cortex, meditation decreases the negative effects of stress, mild depression and anxiety . It also diminishes activity in the amygdala, where the brain processes fear. However, after two years of practicing meditation, I don’t need a scientific study to tell me that meditation works. I have experienced it first-hand. When I spend time meditating every day, I am able to face life without food or diets; when I don’t, panic sets in, and life becomes overwhelming. I ate because I was afraid, depressed, and stressed out. Food was my quiet place. When I binged I was numb, dazed, and oblivious to the painful emotions I was creating and avoiding. When I dieted, I was so fixated on losing weight that I didn’t have to face my problems or accept that I needed to change. The hope of the next binge or the next diet provided me with a temporary safe place, but in the end, it only caused me more fear, stress, and depression because it was an illusion. I was never happy when I ate or lost weight. I was just as miserable as I was before, but then I was starving or felt fat, too. By the time I started practicing, I was so sick, mentally and physically, of being obsessed with food and dieting that I was willing to try anything. I needed something that would help me deal with those feelings without numbing out with food or hiding in a diet. Meditation, my safe place, is just that. When I began practicing, I was working with an understanding and supportive therapist, but I was missing the willingness to trust myself around food and commit to the long-term changes recovery requires. That’s where meditation came in. From my work in therapy, I knew what I had to do, but I wasn’t able to do it until I found the peace to let my self-defeating thoughts go and accept a new certainty: I had to recover, and I could. Breathing takes me to my safe place, my centre, about two finger widths below my belly button. When I focus on that point and breathe into it, something miraculous happens: a space opens up between me and my fear, judgment, anger, sadness and impatience. Usually, they disappear altogether, but they sometimes they just fade into the background and stop being so unmanageable. Some days it takes ten minutes, others, forty-five. Once my anxiety is at bay, I have access to the inner strength that helps me accept the truth about myself, that I am strong, capable, and imperfect. It is hard for me to accept my imperfections when I am not centred because I am living in the fear that I won’t be loved unless I get “it” right. But when I am in contact with my inner strength, I am open to the truth that I am loved no matter what I do, that I am perfect just as I am, and that I am more loveable the more I love and accept myself unconditionally. This is similar to what I did with food when I binged or dieted. I created a safe little world where no one judged me and I could feel in control of how others perceived me. Now, instead of eating or dieting, I can breathe deeply, let go of my worries and thoughts, and be myself. My journey with the breath has not always been smooth. It means getting up a lot earlier that I would like to go to class or fit my practice in, letting go of my old, comfortable ideas about what’s best for me, facing physical, emotional, and mental discomfort, and making a commitment to myself one day at a time. But I do these things, even when my mind screams “NO!”, because I cannot recover without it. Without my safe place, recovery feels too scary, and I need to keep recovering if I want to be happy and make the most out life. Now, thanks to my practice, recovery is no longer terrifying, but a possibility, and, for me, a reality. http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/meditation/objectives.html http://cms.psychologytoday.com/pto-20030424-000003.html  

Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

Confessions of a Shopaholic Book Review

Posted by on Similarities Between Shopaholic and Compulsive Eating Okay, so you’re probably thinking Sophie Kinsella’s Book, Confessions of a Shopaholic has absolutely nothing at all to do with our work at The Centre. On first glance, it doesn’t. It looks like a light, fun read, the epitome of chick-lit. Becky is a modern gal in her mid-twenties with a so- so job, living in the big city of London, dreaming big dreams. The book is all about her search for identity, her friendships, and relationships with the opposite sex, family, and— her obsessive compulsive disorder. You see, Becky is in big doo-doo because even though she’s a financial writer for a boring financial magazine, she is clueless when it comes to her own finances. Basically, Becky uses purchasing things , pretty much any thing , as a coping mechanism. When Becky is feeling anxious, she buys little knick- knackish do-dads. Bored, coffee. Happy, clothes. Sad, clothes. And like most of us, Becky has expensive taste, so by the time the book starts Becky is in serious debt, and denial. Becky also has a problem with being honest. She tells people what she thinks they want to hear and she makes the fatal mistake that most of us make in our twenties, of, pretending to be, think, feel, and yes, spend, like the women we want to be in ten years. Becky hasn’t yet figured out that the way to be that glamorous, sophisticated, and together woman is to be honest, forthright, and vulnerable-right now. So, she paints a picture of herself that isn’t completely honest and spends a lot of the book getting out of well, doo-doo. Confessions is fun and frivolous, it exposes Becky’s obsessive compulsive relationship with shopping with a light touch. And I enjoyed that because, substitute shopping for eating, and Becky’s story could have been my own. Sad, eat, Celebrate, eat. Anxious eat. Not sure? Eat! When we think of compulsive eating, I know I for one tend to take a very serious tact. I approach it from a really all or nothing sort of stance. Every day, I meet women whose lives have been put on hold for years because of their relationship with food and boy focus, and that was certainly true in my case, as well. But reading about Becky’s capers in Confessions helped me to lighten up a bit and laugh at the silliness of it all. The circles we run ourselves in and how seriously we approach this-as if our relationship with food defines indefinitely-as if it’s all we’ll ever be. Like Becky, we can grow and change. And the process of change doesn’t have to be a huge, all encompassing task, it doesn’t have be a big serious to-do with tears and teeth gnashing. The process of finding ourselves can be fun, comical, and even wonderful. After reading Confessions, I can chuckle at my creative rationalizations for just one more bite- – when I was already stuffed to begin with. I’m not saying its okay to judge those past behaviors, but, really what’s the fun in making a huge journey to find yourself if you can’t laugh at what you’ve learned along the way? Reviewed by Brooke Finnigan  

Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

Thanks, Sedona

Posted by on

Cynthia, a client of The CEDRIC Centre

Disconnecting–with love–is supposed to be one of the secrets of contentment. But letting go is hard, isn’t it? How to stop trying to fix the past? How to stop being crushed by others’ remarks? How to stop trying to figure out what happened, feeling guilty, "needing" people who aren’t good for us, trying to control the future,  counting to 10 and blowing up anyway? How to show how well we meant, belong, be liked, be appreciated, make others understand how much they need our advice, get others off our cases, make others understand who we really are so they’ll stop being so unpleasant. How to stop spending our lives wishing everything were otherwise?

Sedona, that’s how. Knowing that you "shouldn’t" be taking something so hard is not the same as being able to. Just as knowing that you "shouldn’t" be worrying about someone else’s choices is not much help either. Sedona teaches the mechanics, the "how to", of not being bowled over, blindsided, overwhelmed, compelled.  It disconnects the buttons that get pushed; takes off that chain everybody loves to yank. It decompresses bad situations; lets you take a step back, disconnect, then act or not act. Whatever makes sense. In the here and now. (This is good. This is very good.)

I have a very stressful job. Shortly after I took a weekend course in the Sedona Method, a co-worker took me aside and told me that she had informed our boss that my telephone manner recently changed dramatically from defensive to professional.  (My boss told her to tell me herself.)

And it’s true. A fellow called me at work yesterday to express his anger about a letter he’d received from us (me) that he thought was rude. I just laughed, and said we weren’t rude, we were scared (but I was sorry if he thought we sounded rude). He laughed too. Then he gave me what I was after in the letter. This is probably not how it would have played out in the old days.

At the same time, Sedona makes the good stuff stand out too. Like a cat curling up in the sun and kneading a cushion with its toes, Sedona teaches us to recognize the good stuff, revel in it, and expect it to just keep right on coming.

I encourage everybody who unloads on me now to take the course. It seems nobody ever does, but I just let it go.


Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →

Why Do I Do This to My Self?

Posted by on Signs of Eating Disorders. When we think about someone having an eating disorder we often experience feelings of disbelief and pity. We imagine the 80 Pound waif starving herself to death in pursuit of the perfect figure, and think how sad it is that she can’t see how small she has become, and that she has lost sight of her inner beauty, and worth. What we rarely envision is the man or woman who is overweight and engaging in compulsive eating. “That person doesn’t have an eating disorder,” we say, “They just need to try dieting/lose some weight/exercise some willpower.” Well, I’m here to tell you that the overweight person often has just as much of an obsession with weight loss and body image as the underweight one. What we need to understand is that compulsive eating is not about a lack of willpower. It is not about being lazy or unconcerned with one’s own well being. It is about a person who turns to food to fulfill their need for comfort and nurturing. Now, having said that I must clarify that everyone who is at a high or low weight according to society’s standards, is not necessarily suffering from an eating disorder. There is a lot of physical diversity out there, and bodies come in all shapes and sizes. But one of the side effects of eating compulsively is often weight gain, if you are eating when you’re not hungry and or unable to stop when you’re full, whatever your size, you are engaging in compulsive eating. Though Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa and Compulsive Eating may seem like radical opposites on the scale of eating disorders, the truth is they are brought about by the same need. The need for love, the need for acceptance and the need to feel secure in who they are and their importance in the world is what drives one to disordered eating in the first place. Whether we choose to restrict our food intake, exercise obsessively, overeat and then purge with laxatives, vomiting or exercise, or just overeat and eat and eat and eat; whatever our preferred method of being around food we are all just trying to fill the need for comfort and nurturing. I can no longer count the times I have heard the Compulsive Overeater say, “I wish I could just throw up” or the Bulimic say, “I wish I had never started throwing up, now I can’t stop myself’ or the Anorexic say, “I wish I wasn’t so afraid of food – of being fat.” Each in their pain and suffering presumes the grass is greener on the other side of disordered eating. The truth is, each is equally painful and equally consuming. How much pleasure can a person get from life when they are constantly obsessing about how they look, what people are thinking, what they have/haven’t eaten today and what they will or wont eat tomorrow. Decisions about whether to attend a function, go for a walk, have lunch out or even to call a friend are made based on how the person with an eating disorder feels about their body that day. They label foods as good or bad and then label themselves as good or bad for wanting those foods. They presume that every bite of food taken in front of others is being scrutinized and that people are thinking, “ooh, look at her, she shouldn’t be eating that, no wonder she is so FAT.” What we need to remember is that we are the one’s with the obsession with food. We are the one’s who think we are so incredibly fat and unappealing. Have you ever gotten dressed in the morning and been feeling okay, maybe even good, about what you were wearing and how you looked only to find that by lunchtime you can’t wait to get home and change because you feel so fat and so conspicuous? If so, ask yourself, “What changed about my body between 8:00 am and noon ?” Nothing changed except your perception of yourself. If you have had an experience like this you suffer from distorted body image. This distortion goes hand in hand with disordered eating, but can exist without an eating disorder. Having a distorted body image, whatever your true size, causes us to see everything that happens to/around us as being related to our bodies. Whatever happened, it’s because I’m too fat, too big, too ugly, too much. This is what we call a defense mechanism. Having something to blame for everything allows us to avoid dealing with the real issues in our lives. We get to remain in an uncomfortable situation such as an unfulfilling job or unsatisfying marriage without having to be fully aware of how unhappy we are. As long as we are focussing on our bodies and as long as our bodies are taking the blame for everything we don’t have to risk change. A lot of us are afraid to ask for what we want, many of us don’t even know what that is. We were given the impression early on that our needs don’t count, that we don’t matter as much as others. That’s just not true. Everyone is equally as important as the next person – not more, not less. But for many people with eating disorders the feeling is that they are worth less. So, if they don’t want to risk complete rejection and abandonment they had better not ask for anything, better not offer an opposing opinion and better not expect anything from anyone because inevitably they will be let down. This means that the person with an eating disorder believes that if they are not always giving, kind and thinking of others first they will lose the love and respect of the people that are important to them. The truth is that people with eating disorders often feel isolated and that there is no one who really knows and understands them. And because they are such pushovers they often become associated with people who only know how to take. This brings us back to the need for love, comfort and nurturing. If it is not being met in our relationships with others we are going to fill this need somewhere. For those of us with eating disorders, that place is food. You may have already identified strongly with the things we have discussed so far and be wondering if you or someone you know may have an eating disorder or be heading in that direction. The following is a checklist of behaviours and signs for each of the three major eating disorders. If you feel that you have some or all of these behaviours you may wish to speak to a counsellor who understands these issues and find out what you can do to leave distorted body image and disordered eating behind for good. If you eat compulsively you likely: Eat when you are not hungry; Feel controlled by food; Eat sensibly in public and then make up for it when alone; Feel excited thinking about times alone with food; Hide the “evidence” of binges; Find that eating makes you feel better but that afterwards you feel guilty and depressed; Eat to escape worry or trouble. If you are Anorexic you will likely: Have extreme weight loss due to reduced food intake; Feel fat despite increasing thinness; Have obsessive behaviour with food, dieting and with exercise; May have chronic fatigue; Frequently feel cold; May have stopped menstruating. If you are Bulimic you will likely; Have recurring episodes of binge eating with out of control feelings during the binges; Have self-induced purging using laxatives, vomiting or excessive exercising; Have frequent weight fluctuations; Diet and then binge and purge in a continuous cycle; Be extremely secretive about your bingeing and purging behaviour. For all those with disordered eating there are feelings of guilt, shame, futility, worthlessness, disgust, low self-esteem, perfectionism, a strong need for control of people and situations and feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. If any of the above behaviours sound like you, or someone you know, remember that although it is scary to admit you have an eating disorder it is also very freeing to be able to identify that there is a very good reason for the things you do around food. Furthermore, there is every reason to expect and to hope that you will be able to overcome these behaviours and lead a life that is f ree from food and weight obsession. If nothing else, please recognize that you are really only looking for love and nurturing when you are using food compulsively or restricting your food intake. The best and most consistent place for you to get that love and support is from yourself. Focussing your efforts on building a strong, trusting relationship with yourself is the best use of your time and energy without a doubt. Once you have trust in yourself and in your worth as a person all those feelings of shame, guilt, perfectionism and the need to control (to name a few) will disappear. I assure you. If you would like to read some books on this subject I recommend:
  • When women stop hating their bodies; by Jane Hirschmann and Carol Munter
  • Food for Love; by Janet Greeson
  • If life is a game, these are the rules; by Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D
Michelle Morand is the Founder and Director of The CEDRIC Centre in Victoria , B.C. The CEDRIC Centre offers group and individual support for eating disorders and related issues at their Victoria location and also provides one-on-one counselling to those living elsewhere in Canada and in the U.S. over the phone or via e-mail.  

Posted in: News

Leave a Comment (0) →
Page 5 of 6 «...23456