Posts Tagged triggers
Self-Care, Part 2
Hello All! I hope you had a positive and forward-moving week.
This is week two in our series on Self-Care. If you haven’t read last week’s post, click here to access The First Step to Self-Care. Last week we explored the different roles you have in your life and took a look at what you currently do in those roles vs. what you expect of yourself or what you’d like to see yourself doing based on your core values.
Next week we are going to pick up where we left off with the identification and articulation of our goals and come up with three small steps that you can take over the next little while for each of your goals to ease your transition from “here” to “there.” Any lasting change to our thinking and our behaviour comes gradually. It just doesn’t stick if we try to rush it. That’s because we don’t have the understanding or the life experiences that help us see the value in sustaining that change when we rush it rather than truly embody it. We also need to learn to make space in our daily lives for these new and different behaviours and, when we already have full-to-bursting lives where many things are falling through the cracks, it takes some time to create the space for something new without simultaneously increasing your stress level (which rather defeats the purpose of any new life enhancing behaviour, I think).
(more…)Traveling with an Eating Disorder, Part 3 of 3
Hello! And welcome! This is Part III of an article on navigating travel and vacation time in the easiest most relaxed way when you’re still on the path to recovery from the use of food to cope (ie. overeating, restricting, purging, or that annoying diet mentality). Part I spoke about creating a sense of peace and comfort around the variety and/or constraints of choice that vacationing can provide. In Part I, I provided you with a clear list of tools you can use to ground yourself and come back to basics regardless of what’s on the menu. I have heard from quite a few clients who have carried Part I with them on their travels this summer and have found these simple suggestions extremely helpful in remaining clear on what action to take to feel more at ease than ever before. (more…)Exploring the Fear of Judgement
All weight problems are simply a reflection of a lack of balance within. That’s all. Emotionally and physically you’re out of balance. Your priorities are skewed and they need to be tweaked so that you really embody the belief that your needs and your health are the most important things in your world. Now, rather than feeling “outed” by this statement and that everyone you meet is going to “know” you’re out of balance, could you allow yourself instead to just accept the truth of it? Instead of trying to protect yourself from the truth of your lack of balance, how about asking the question: “What’s the fastest, most effective and lasting solution to this problem?” (more…)Traveling with an Eating Disorder, Part 1 of 3
Traveling with an eating disorder packs a triple whammy for the already beleaguered spirit in desperate need of true rest and relaxation. Whether you struggle with dieting, overeating, purging or a general dissatisfaction with your physical form that prevents you from settling peacefully into the moment, a vacation can be a stress-filled experience that makes you want to just stay at home instead with the covers pulled high. In this 3-part article, I will not deal with the obvious stress of the obligatory attempts at dieting in anticipation of any vacation that requires the baring of any skin above the elbow or knee. That is a topic for another day. Instead, I will address the 3 key ways in which traveling can challenge the tenuous grip most disordered eaters have on their relationship with food and weight: limitations/abundance of choice; change in routine; and the emotional impact of traveling. As I explore each of these confounding circumstances I will provide you with some suggestions on how to approach them in the most simple and life-enhancing way so you can relax and enjoy your well-earned vacation. (more…)First Comes Love, Then Comes Obesity
So reads the heading from an article in the July 6th issue of Time Magazine. Even though my skin was bristling at the glib headline, I felt obligated as a professional and specialist in the field of eating disorders and overeating to read it and find out what they had to say. I was not impressed with the simplicity and surface level of the conclusions they drew but I did find the statistics interesting. I’m going to share their conclusions with you and then take them a step further and explain, on a deeper level, why their results were so. (more…)The Main Barrier to Freedom
Your rate of recovery from your stressful relationship with food depends on your readiness for change. For example, I have worked with many people who have struggled for years, even decades with overeating, restricting and/or purging, and within 5 or 6 sessions, they are transformed, feeling clear, purposeful and trusting in their ability to no longer use food to cope. Yet others may take a few months or a year or two to get to the same place. And that’s perfectly fine. There is no right or wrong way to move through the healing process. It’s a completely personal experience and the length of the healing journey depends on many factors but the most important thing for us all is this: (more…)My Wedding and My Drill Sergeant
(Nadine) Women want to look their best every day, and I think most would agree that your wedding day is the one day you would want to look your very, very best – and your slimmest! However, every wedding magazine and website is plastered with tall, slim women who look fresh, ethereal, and sensuous all at once, like they come from some secret fairy world only to model wedding dresses and accessories. How can a normal, average woman possibly live up to those ideals? How can a plus-size woman possibly manage to look fresh, ethereal, and sensuous? It’s easy to understand the boot camp crash diets brides go through when faced with such unrealistic images. Dealing with these issues myself, pending my upcoming elopement to Tofino mid-September, I began to dig deeper. What else is really going on here? My past experiences at the CEDRIC Centre have taught me that when my Drill Sergeant starts badgering me about my image, it’s a smokescreen that covers a deeper and possibly more painful issue. After a little bit of reflection, I decided to question my Drill Sergeant about what IT thought about marriage and weddings, and here is what it said:- Look at all those beautiful brides, you’re not going to look like that – you can’t possibly get married at the size you are at – you should wait until you lose weight to get married! (“Why?” I asked)
- You need to look beautiful and perfect on your wedding day! (“Why?”)
- If you don’t look perfect on your wedding day your fiancé will regret marrying you. (“Why?”)
- You have to be perfect or your marriage won’t last and your fiance will figure out that you are flawed and unlovable!
My Wedding and My Drill Sergeant
AHA! I uncovered a core belief! My Drill Sergeant has been trying to protect me from this core belief so I wouldn’t get hurt. If I work on healing the faulty core belief, my Drill Sergeant will have nothing to protect me from and the badgering will stop. There are a few things I can do to heal that core belief – and just uncovering it and acknowledging it as faulty goes a long way! I can also try to love myself by listening to my fears, looking after myself physically and emotionally, and showing myself compassion. By healing the underlying core belief about how I’ll look on my wedding day, I can revel in the joy of the event. I can be excited about the exquisite dress I bought (ivory French lace over pale gold satin with clustered bursts of crystals) and I can be excited about all the other details like cupcakes, photographers, venues, flowers, and writing heartfelt vows. I can enjoy the process. I am more able to accept that my fiancé wants to marry me and (no surprise here) already knows that I am imperfect. We have been together for three years and he has seen me sick, seen me binge, seen me frustrated, and seen me freak out at him for something that has nothing to do with him. And he still loves me and wants to marry me. My goal for my wedding day is to be PRESENT. My goal is not to look perfect but to feel joyful, blessed, and authentic, and to remember my wedding day with more than just pictures.Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self
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