Posts Tagged grounding

The First Step to Self-Care

The First Step to Self-CareOkay folks, we’re going to take a little journey together (if you’re willing). It is a journey to a place called “balance.”  And we get there by walking a path called “self-care.”  Say goodbye to your old patterns of behaviour. Say goodbye to harmful old relationships, places of work, and miscellaneous other people, places and things that undermine you and your sense of peace and happiness. Once you start down Self-Care Lane you won’t be needing or wanting to return. I guarantee you! For the next month, we’re going to be putting one foot, gently but firmly, in front of the other to create a life that is balanced, peaceful, and honoring who you really are and what you truly deserve in life. Our journey begins with you taking a few minutes to get clear on where you are now. Then we’ll take a look at where you’d like to be and fill in the spaces between step-by-step so you’ve got a clear path that leads you towards lasting change at a pace that is right for you. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (4) →

What Can I Know For Certain?

If we have fallen into the behaviour of overeating, restricting or purging – in other words: If we use food to cope, we can absolutely know a few key things about ourselves that can really help us in our recovery.
  1. First, we can absolutely know for certain that we struggle with insecurities about our abilities; our intellect; our lovability; our acceptability and our appearance.
  2. Second, we can absolutely know for certain that those insecurities are borne of old stories; messages we were told or that we interpreted from other people’s body language or treatment of us and that those old stories are shaping our perception of ourselves today.
  3. Next, we can absolutely know for certain that these old stories that trigger you to feel insecure trigger an emotion we call “anxiety.”
  4. And without a doubt you can know that it is the anxiety you feel, that arises from these old stories about what’s wrong with you, that triggers you to focus on your body and on food in a way that is critical, undermining and stifling of your energy and creativity in life.
Without exception you can know these 4 things are true about yourself if you use food to cope. (ie. eat when you’re not hungry; eat more than you’re hungry for; or don’t allow yourself to eat when you are hungry). (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →

Trust in the Big Picture

Hello All! It’s been a very busy time here at CEDRIC and in my own life. Thankfully both pieces seem to be settling down and August looks to be a time of catching up, relaxing and settling in. Here, here! I’m very much enjoying my patio, with its all day sunshine and watching my young son bouncing merrily on his trampoline. I was sifting through a journal from this time last year and recognized that many of the goals I had for my life last year have been realized and that the others are well on their way to manifesting. It occurred to me in that moment how incredibly lucky that makes me, and then it occurred to me that it wasn’t luck at all. It was the practice of first trusting that I was deserving of and could create the life of my dreams; then came the piece of conceptualizing that dream existence; then came the process of identifying the steps I needed to take to get from point A to point B.

Trust in the big picture

All along the theme is trust. Trusting my deservedness, trusting my capabilities, trusting the key people in my life, trusting that, regardless of how things seem in the moment, they always, always, work out for the best. I don’t know whether you’re a spiritual person, a religious person or neither. The good news is it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to believe in a higher power or God or anything greater than yourself (although you certainly can) in order to be able to look back at your life so far and see that the events and circumstances you felt maybe “shouldn’t” have been happening then led you to the place you are now. Out of adversity comes strength. That has been shown to me time and time again. The greatest gift of my personal growth this past decade has been the development of a profound sense of trust that regardless of how things appear in any given moment, they are unfolding exactly as they should. And if I look for the gains, the positives in each situation, I will find them, just as surely as I will find the downside if I seek it. It is our choice, as beings with free will, to focus on what is working or on what isn’t; to attach to how we think things should be or to let go and be open to the silver lining in every situation.  It is so easy to get hooked on how things should look and then get angry, sad, hurt, frustrated, scared, etc. when things don’t go as planned. It is far, far easier and far more strengthening to recognize when you’re holding on to things looking a certain way and to just let go and trust that something even better than you had imagined is coming your way. Again, you don’t have to look very far to see the truth of this. Most of us can recall a circumstance – say, the loss of a job or a relationship that we wouldn’t have chosen at the time and that we truly felt shouldn’t be happening or was just downright “wrong.” In hindsight though, wouldn’t you say that “it” worked out for the best; that the loss of that connection or career opened new avenues that led to people and places you wouldn’t now trade for the world? It’s a challenge in the moment to let go and trust in the bigger picture. In fact, it would be truthful to say it is “the” challenge of our lives. And the more we learn to recognize when we’re holding on and to instead, allow ourselves to just let go and trust, the easier, more peaceful, more fun, more amazing and beautiful life gets. I challenge you to recognize some of the things in your present life that you’re resisting letting go of or resisting accepting and see what happens if you just challenge yourself to say, “Well, this is what’s happening. It may scare me. It may not be what I expected or wanted. But I know things always unfold in a way that leads me to bigger and better things. Can I just relax and open myself to this experience as best I can?” If you can repeat this mantra when you catch yourself resisting change, you will find a sense of strength and peace, even in the face of a greatest challenge, that carries you through.  We are human, we have feelings. That’s healthy and normal. It’s what we do with those feelings that makes the difference. Do we stuff them and tell ourselves we shouldn’t have them or that what’s happening in our lives shouldn’t be happening? Or do we recognize them for the indicators they are and look beneath them for the situation or story that is triggering them? The first scenario leads to the use of food to cope. The second scenario leads to freedom. If you’d like to be able to choose the second scenario over the first and to develop a deep sense of trust in your ability to navigate life with dignity and grace, rather than with food and body image focus, I welcome the opportunity to work with you and support you to achieve that goal. It is possible. Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, or the  self-help approach, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food.  Life is far too short to waste one more day. Love Michelle

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →

Life is Beautiful

Life is beautiful. It is complex and it has many twists and turns, but it has a quality of freedom and the opportunity for constant self-creationism that, with the right mindset, allows each of us to feel exuberant, passionate, alive and fulfilled whether we are accepting a Nobel prize, giving birth, beginning or ending a relationship, washing the dishes or stuck in rush-hour traffic. But what about someone who doesn’t have the “right” mindset? What about someone who, however it came to be, doesn’t see the world as their oyster of creation but instead sees themselves as undeserving of what they desire; who sees themselves as “not good enough”?  How do they navigate the stress of accepting an award, having a child, ending a relationship or that inevitable traffic jam? Mostly likely they’ve developed patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving called “coping strategies” that allow them to feel some degree of safety and security in their world. Coping strategies take many forms.  One primary coping strategy that many people in our society develop is a preoccupation with appearance and with their relationship with food, either in a restricting or overeating way. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →

Exploring the Fear of Judgement

All weight problems are simply a reflection of a lack of balance within. That’s all. Emotionally and physically you’re out of balance.  Your priorities are skewed and they need to be tweaked so that you really embody the belief that your needs and your health are the most important things in your world. Now, rather than feeling “outed” by this statement and that everyone you meet is going to “know” you’re out of balance, could you allow yourself instead to just accept the truth of it? Instead of trying to protect yourself from the truth of your lack of balance, how about asking the question: “What’s the fastest, most effective and lasting solution to this problem?” (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, workshops

Leave a Comment (2) →

What are Boundaries and Why are They Important to Me?

Healthful boundaries are a fundamental piece of creating balance in our lives. The things which we allow and don’t allow to happen around us, and to us, tell people a lot about our self-esteem and how we regard ourselves and ultimately, what they can get away with in their relationship with us! In other words, if you have good self-esteem, you have strong and healthful boundaries. You feel capable of asking for what you need and letting people know clearly and directly when your needs are unmet.  This lets the people in relationships with you know that you expect honesty and integrity from others, and you are willing to bring this to the table yourself.  You wouldn’t be able or willing to tolerate dishonesty or lack of responsibility in any relationship.  Someone who isn’t ready for honesty or directness in their communications with others, or who wants to be able to blame others for their behavior, wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with you because you would be constantly challenging them to take responsibility for their actions. So the clearer you are in your boundaries and what you expect and are willing to accept from others, the more you draw healthful, balanced, responsible people to you: people who have the same goals for honesty and integrity in their relationships as you do.

What are Boundaries

Excerpted from Food is Not the Problem: Deal With What Is! Take time to reflect today on how boundaries with others has affected you and see where you can take a stand. You might find some of the focus on food will ease a little in the process!

Posted in: Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →

Discomfort=Change=Good Stuff!

Excerpted from Food is Not the Problem: Deal With What Is! When we actively begin the process of letting go of our old core beliefs, we frequently feel awkward, uncomfortable, phony, forced and inauthentic. I implore you: don’t judge this as an indication that you are doing something wrong or that you are doomed to fail at this recovery process.  These feelings of discomfort and unfamiliarity are not bad, wrong, or in any other way inappropriate. The thoughts and behaviours you are asking of yourself are simply so very different from your “norm,” that is, from what you are accustomed to, that they naturally feel strange. And as human beings who have been schooled in all-or-nothing thinking, we have been trained to judge anything which differs from our regular experiences as wrong. This is simply not accurate. If you continue allowing yourself to think this way, you run the risk of not witnessing and experiencing all the benefits of the changes which are taking place. You are judging your experience in the moment as bad or wrong because it feels strange or different from what you are accustomed to. If you find yourself heading down this path, I encourage you to remember that you have begun this process of change because you want things to be different – because you recognize that you have a need for a change in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours around certain things. This being the case, how much sense does it make to judge yourself as failing in your process because things are feeling different, when that is what you initially desired? (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →

Traveling with an Eating Disorder, Part 1 of 3

Traveling with an eating disorder packs a triple whammy for the already beleaguered spirit in desperate need of true rest and relaxation. Whether you struggle with dieting, overeating, purging or a general dissatisfaction with your physical form that prevents you from settling peacefully into the moment, a vacation can be a stress-filled experience that makes you want to just stay at home instead with the covers pulled high. In this 3-part article, I will not deal with the obvious stress of the obligatory attempts at dieting in anticipation of any vacation that requires the baring of any skin above the elbow or knee. That is a topic for another day. Instead, I will address the 3 key ways in which traveling can challenge the tenuous grip most disordered eaters have on their relationship with food and weight: limitations/abundance of choice; change in routine; and the emotional impact of traveling. As I explore each of these confounding circumstances I will provide you with some suggestions on how to approach them in the most simple and life-enhancing way so you can relax and enjoy your well-earned vacation. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (1) →

The Main Barrier to Freedom

Your rate of recovery from your stressful relationship with food depends on your readiness for change.  For example, I have worked with many people who have struggled for years, even decades with overeating, restricting and/or purging, and within 5 or 6 sessions, they are transformed, feeling clear, purposeful and trusting in their ability to no longer use food to cope.  Yet others may take a few months or a year or two to get to the same place.  And that’s perfectly fine. There is no right or wrong way to move through the healing process.  It’s a completely personal experience and the length of the healing journey depends on many factors but the most important thing for us all is this: (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, workshops

Leave a Comment (0) →

My Wedding and My Drill Sergeant

(Nadine) Women want to look their best every day, and I think most would agree that your wedding day is the one day you would want to look your very, very best – and your slimmest! However, every wedding magazine and website is plastered with tall, slim women who look fresh, ethereal, and sensuous all at once, like they come from some secret fairy world only to model wedding dresses and accessories. How can a normal, average woman possibly live up to those ideals? How can a plus-size woman possibly manage to look fresh, ethereal, and sensuous? It’s easy to understand the boot camp crash diets brides go through when faced with such unrealistic images. Dealing with these issues myself, pending my upcoming elopement to Tofino mid-September, I began to dig deeper. What else is really going on here? My past experiences at the CEDRIC Centre have taught me that when my Drill Sergeant starts badgering me about my image, it’s a smokescreen that covers a deeper and possibly more painful issue. After a little bit of reflection, I decided to question my Drill Sergeant about what IT thought about marriage and weddings, and here is what it said:
  • Look at all those beautiful brides, you’re not going to look like that – you can’t possibly get married at the size you are at – you should wait until you lose weight to get married! (“Why?” I asked)
  • You need to look beautiful and perfect on your wedding day! (“Why?”)
  • If you don’t look perfect on your wedding day your fiancé will regret marrying you. (“Why?”)
  • You have to be perfect or your marriage won’t last and your fiance will figure out that you are flawed and unlovable!

My Wedding and My Drill Sergeant

AHA! I uncovered a core belief! My Drill Sergeant has been trying to protect me from this core belief so I wouldn’t get hurt. If I work on healing the faulty core belief, my Drill Sergeant will have nothing to protect me from and the badgering will stop. There are a few things I can do to heal that core belief – and just uncovering it and acknowledging it as faulty goes a long way! I can also try to love myself by listening to my fears, looking after myself physically and emotionally, and showing myself compassion. By healing the underlying core belief about how I’ll look on my wedding day, I can revel in the joy of the event. I can be excited about the exquisite dress I bought (ivory French lace over pale gold satin with clustered bursts of crystals) and I can be excited about all the other details like cupcakes, photographers, venues, flowers, and writing heartfelt vows. I can enjoy the process. I am more able to accept that my fiancé wants to marry me and (no surprise here) already knows that I am imperfect. We have been together for three years and he has seen me sick, seen me binge, seen me frustrated, and seen me freak out at him for something that has nothing to do with him. And he still loves me and wants to marry me. My goal for my wedding day is to be PRESENT. My goal is not to look perfect but to feel joyful, blessed, and authentic, and to remember my wedding day with more than just pictures.

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (1) →
Page 5 of 6 «...23456