Posts Tagged compulsive eating
Posted by mmorand on February 10, 2012
This is Part II in our Diet Mentality series. If you’re new to our community you can just start here or you can hop back two weeks to the discussion of The Diet Mentality and statistics and then look at last week’s key Diet Mentality point to make sure you’re up to speed. Either approach will be helpful. Just do what you can.
Another key indicator that you’ve got some Diet Mentality going on is if you feel obligated to eat what is placed in front of you – whether or not you like it and whether or not it is too much.
This might not seem like it has anything at all to do with dieting. But it has everything to do with the co-dependent mindset and all or nothing thinking that under pin The Diet Mentality.
You see, if you are so concerned with what other people think or what they would feel that you would compromise your body’s needs and not be authentic about what you like or what you need it is highly likely that you do this in other areas of your life too.
This is very dangerous as this way of being in the world creates great anxiety and insecurity because you really don’t trust yourself to take care of yourself and put your own needs first. This is, ironically, often why we start dieting, binging, purging or engaging in full blown eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder in the first place.
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Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, binge eating, body image, compulsive eating, eating disorder treatment, eating out, insecurity, natural eating, peer pressure, rebalancing, the diet mentality, triggers
Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Others, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on February 3, 2012
One aspect of The Diet Mentality that you must be on the lookout for in order to step free of that old way of thinking and step into an effortless relationship with food and a natural weight for your body without dieting is the pattern of restricting the amount of food that you are ‘allowed’ to have.
In a rational, functional relationship with food, what you are physically hungry for is what you are ‘allowed’ to have. And the only one who ‘allows’ you is you. Not the other people you’re eating with; Not Jenny Craig; Not Dr. Bernstein; You!
Your primary responsibility where food is concerned is to wait until you are hungry to eat something. Your next responsibility is to learn to stay present while eating and to identify and listen to the cues of comfortable fullness you are eating naturally. You are not responsible to buy into anyone else’s ideas of what you should have or how much.
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Tags: acceptance, body image, bulimia, Chronic dieting, compulsive eating, diet mentality, eating disorder treatment, eating disorders, overeating, rebalancing, restricting, self-judgement
Posted in: 2012, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on January 27, 2012
For the next few weeks in my articles, I’m going to be exploring each of the key points of what we call ‘The Diet Mentality.’ Each week I’m going to briefly explore one key characteristic of this harmful way of thinking and offer you a suggestion of something you can do that week to begin to directly address this issue if it something that you recognize in yourself. For this week though we’re going to start with an exploration of where The Diet Mentality comes from and some background on diets in general:
The Origin of Our Diet Mentality
The Diet Mentality is a way of thinking that has been ingrained in us by messages we receive predominantly from our primary caregivers and our peers. These messages are then often reinforced and enhanced by teachers, coaches, advertisements and media messages, and from diet and exercise programs that we may have tried in the past or may currently be pursuing.
It is easier to understand how we came to be where we are when we keep in mind that as children and adolescents, because we were limited by our brain’s inability to realize that not everything is about, or caused by, us, and because we had no other frame of reference than that of the family in which we were raised (and the community surrounding us), we had no contrast and therefore no ability to see clearly when our parents and peers, teachers and coaches were, themselves, confused in their thinking. We just believed that they were right and we followed blindly and innocently along. (For a more detailed article on brain development and its impact on our lives , and our relationship with food please see: http://www.cedriccentre.com/blog/lets-talk-about-your-brain/)
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Tags: acceptance, all-or-nothing thinking, Chronic dieting, compulsive eating, core beliefs, dieting, eating disorders, healthy eating, natural eating, rebalancing, restricting, the diet mentality, yoyo dieting
Posted in: 2012, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on January 13, 2012
Why is it so Hard to be Honest?
One of the hardest things for people to do, especially people who have received any co-dependent training, is to hold themselves to the core value of honesty. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Read on to find out why honesty is so challenging some times and what you can do to start feeling more confident in your ability to be honest with everyone, all the time.
The answer to the question ‘Why is it so hard to be honest’ is twofold:
1. We often (usually) don’t even know what we truly feel and want and need. We might know something doesn’t feel right or good or okay but we have our inner critic immediately judging our feelings and so we mistrust our emotions just as we mistrust our hunger and fullness cues.
2. We are scared crapless to piss people off! Let’s just admit it! We don’t want to upset anyone. We don’t want to be the bad guy. We don’t want anyone saying anything about us that isn’t nice and warm and fuzzy. And so we bail on ourselves.
And just in case you’re still wondering if this applies to you: If you have any food and body image stress, or if you binge, or struggle with restriction (dieting or anorexia or orthorexia (an obsession with eating “clean”), or purging (through exercise, laxatives, or vomiting) or with drinking, drugs, too much t.v. or internet; feeling overrun by your relationships or frustrated in your career, you can guarantee that you have a high dose of co-dependent training.
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Tags: accepting truth, all-or-nothing thinking, anxiety, be honest with others, be honest with yourself, binge eating, body image, body/mind/spirit, compulsive eating, core beliefs, eating disorder treatment, grounding, healthy eating, nurturing, overeating, reality check, rebalancing, self esteem, self love, triggers
Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, CEDRIC Centre, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on January 6, 2012
I’ll bet you know something about goal setting. I’d actually be willing to bet that you’re very good at setting yourself goals each and every day about what you’ll eat, what you won’t eat, when, how much exercise you’ll do, how much sleep you’ll get, whose call you’ll return and how much you’ll get done at work or around the house. Chances are, you’re really skilled at setting goals. But…how often do you actually follow through with them? How often do you get to the end of your day feeling peaceful and relaxed that you achieved what you had asked of yourself that day?
If, more often than not, you reflect on your day, and hear the Drill Sgt.’s critical voice in your head pointing out your shortcomings, it’s a good indication that you did not achieve the goals you set for yourself that day. Same goes for those of you who wake up in the morning to the Drill Sgt. telling you what you will and won’t do that day to make up for what you did/didn’t do the day before.
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Tags: achieving goals, baby steps, binge eating, compulsive eating, eating disorder treatment, eating disorders, goal setting, goals, healthy eating, natural eating, overeating, realistic goals, self care, setting reasonable goals, taking things day by day, unrealistic expectations
Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self, The Law of Attraction, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on December 28, 2011
Travelling with an Eating Disorder – Part I
Travelling with an Eating Disorder – Part II
Travelling with an Eating Disorder – Part III
Part I
Traveling with an eating disorder packs a triple whammy for the already beleaguered spirit in desperate need of true rest and relaxation. Whether you struggle with dieting, overeating, purging or a general dissatisfaction with your physical form that prevents you from settling peacefully into the moment, a vacation can be a stress-filled experience that makes you want to just stay at home instead with the covers pulled high.
In this 3-part article, I will not deal with the obvious stress of the obligatory attempts at dieting in anticipation of any vacation that requires the baring of any skin above the elbow or knee. That is a topic for another day. Instead, I will address the 3 key ways in which traveling can challenge the tenuous grip most disordered eaters have on their relationship with food and weight: limitations/abundance of choice; change in routine; and the emotional impact of traveling. As I explore each of these confounding circumstances I will provide you with some suggestions on how to approach them in the most simple and life-enhancing way so you can relax and enjoy your well-earned vacation.
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Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, binge eating, compulsive eating, drill sergeant, eating disorders, grounding, rebalancing, self love, triggers
Posted in: All-or-Nothing Thinking, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on December 3, 2011
Have you ever wondered why you, or some of the people you care about, seem to feel compelled to do things that they say they don’t want to? Do you ever find yourself doing things like overeating, or calorie-counting/dieting, or drinking a bit too much, or spending a bit too much, or procrastinating on things, or isolating rather than socializing? Well if you’d like to finally understand what’s really going on behind the scenes (in your head!) to make you behave in ways you know aren’t good for you or that will ultimately cause you stress, read on.
In order for you to completely understand why you do what you do and what you can do to begin to think, and therefore, behave, differently, I’ve put together a kind of step-by-step flow of logic that will help your brain shift out of confused, stuck thinking and into rational, reasonable thoughts that will influence you to behave in ways that will enhance all aspects of your life. ’Cause, let’s face it, you know that some of the things you do aren’t the best choices, you may even have tried to stop or cut back or make some big lifestyle changes. But if you haven’t understood what’s really driving you to do those things in the first place, you can’t be successful for long, and instead will likely feel more stuck and hopeless rather than inspired and confident.
If you’re at all a believer in the concept that your thoughts create your reality, the following logic flow will help you to feel more solid and grounded in clear thinking. This means you will be confidently more present in the world and able to enjoy your food, drink, exercise, free time, and socializing more while being less likely to use any of those substances and behaviours to cope with stress or emotions such as anxiety, anger, insecurity or sadness.
The following is a list of basic premises you must accept in order to heal from any stressful patterns of thinking and behaving and live life to the fullest. I encourage you to read this over on a daily basis for a week and you’ll be amazed at the shifts that occur in your relationship with yourself and with others, with little or no effort on your part.
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Tags: acceptance, binge eating, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, compulsive eating, diet mentality, eating disorder clinics, eating disorders, forgiveness, future, grounding, growing, healing, past, present, recovery, relationships, self care, self esteem, unmet needs
Posted in: All-or-Nothing Thinking, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Relationships 101, The Law of Attraction, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on November 12, 2011
This week I want to share an article with you that will get you thinking in a whole different way.
If there are ever times these days, when you find yourself feeling stuck between agreeing with someone else’s perspective or holding your ground and honouring your thoughts / feelings / experience, then it is highly likely you’ve been trained to think in an all or nothing way that sounds something like this:
- If I acknowledge any validity in what you are saying that means I am completely negating my perspective and that makes you “right” and me “wrong.”
Or, put another way:
- If I let you know that I understand why you think and feel as you do that means I’m saying it’s right or okay and that means you won’t take the time to acknowledge or validate my perspective, nor will you see any need to grow or change (if your perspective/approach doesn’t work for me). In other words if I acknowledge that I understand you it means I am agreeing with you and therefore I am agreeing to things continuing to be as they are; agreeing that you are “right” and therefore I am “wrong.” I’m not okay with how things are therefore I can’t acknowledge your perspective. (This, by the way, is the mentality that leads to most of the divorces in our society).
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Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, challenge assumptions, communication, compulsive eating, coping with stress, emotional eating, emotions, rational thinking, stress eating, thinking rationally, triggers, using food to cope
Posted in: All-or-Nothing Thinking, newsletter, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Relationships 101
Posted by mmorand on October 29, 2011
The only reason you ever use food to cope, no exceptions, is because you have needs (See Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Basic Needs Chart on the left) that aren’t being met in some area of your life and you’ve told yourself that you’re not allowed, not deserving, or just not capable of getting them met, no matter what you do. These stories you’re telling yourself lead you to feel depressed and anxious, lethargic and frantic, in other words, they overwhelm you.
And when you’re feeling overwhelmed about something you believe you can’t do anything to change or resolve, the only thing to do is to find a way to diminish or discount the impact of that thing: to numb out.
In comes your primary coping strategy.
Is it binging?
- Is it restricting calories, certain kinds of foods, or times of eating regardless of whether you’re hungry or not?
- Is it purging (through an hour or two of exercise, through laxatives, or vomiting)?
- Is it an attachment to a certain weight or way of looking?
- Is it drinking?
- What about drugs; shopping; gambling; the pursuit of that perfect relationship?
- Do you take responsibility for what others feel, or what others need?
- Do you procrastinate to cope with overwhelming things?
- Do you isolate yourself?
- Do you avoid certain people or places?
- Do you resist downtime?
- Do you resist going to bed at a reasonable hour?
- Are you a clean freak? Or just the opposite?
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Tags: anxiety, basoc _needs, binge eating, body/mind/spirit, bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, compulsive eating, eating disorders, Maslow's basic needs, nurturing, overeating, rebalancing, self care, self worth, unmet needs
Posted in: newsletter, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Relationships 101, Tips for Natural Eating
Posted by mmorand on October 1, 2011
I know, I know. You don’t do that! But maybe someone you know does….?
Just kidding! We all do it – even the healthiest of us fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others from time to time. If we’re using food to cope or any other harmful coping strategy, I guarantee you, you are spending far more time than is helpful or necessary comparing yourself to others. This exercise will help you notice when you’re getting caught in the comparison game and help you to understand why you do it and how to step free.
Below are some suggestions of things to be noticing over the next week. Email me and tell me what you notice and we’ll have a dialogue about some simple things you can do to feel more confident in your own skin and less attached to what others have or do or think or feel.
We can’t be free of our use of food to cope with stress until we understand where our stress comes from and create effective, life-enhancing ways of thinking and behaving in stressful situations. So, let’s go!
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