- Part one is the identification of a red or yellow flag; first to yourself and then to your friend/partner.
- Part two is the respectful receiving of your sharing by the other and the mutual creation of a plan for how this need will be met or, in other words, how this behaviour will be changed and when. This is the boundary-setting part, where you let the other person know exactly what you need and what you expect in order to make this flag turn to green. To do this most effectively, use Non Violent Communication or the concept of Intention and Seeking to Understand (Chapter 23 of “Food is not the Problem: Deal With What Is!”).
- Part three is the actual change of the behaviour.