- We need an apology that lets us know that the other person really understands what didn’t work for me in the situation – “I’m sorry for….”
- We need some reassurance of what the person will do differently in the future – what are they committing to doing differently or to not doing again, that will help us to trust that we won’t experience that again with them?
- We need time: Time for that person to demonstrate respect and caring for us in a variety of ways and time for that situation (or one like it) to arise again and for us to see that they respond differently. That’s when true forgiveness naturally occurs. And at that point, it just happens, there’s no decision to make, nothing to do, it just is forgiven.