Posted by mmorand on August 14, 2010
One of the most obvious forms of all-or-nothing thinking that we humans engage in is a little thing we call the green-eyed monster, a.k.a. good, old-fashioned jealousy.
On the surface jealousy appears to be a simple thought, one that has you wanting something or someone that someone else “has”. But that thought has very deep roots and is itself rampant with all-or-nothing thinking which only makes you feel stuck, hopeless, and diminished. Anger is a response to a threat. We only ever feel angry when we truly feel sad and scared about something. Jealousy has a strong element of anger, a sense of judgement and injustice that belies our underlying fear and sadness. And why are we sad and scared? Well because when we’re aware of feeling jealous of someone it means we must have had the following thought just a second before:
“They” have something you not only want but believe you “should” have, and by virtue of “Them” having that thing, you are less likely to have it yourself, and not having that thing makes you less valuable, less worthy than they are. Therefore, your worth / okay-ness as a person is dependent on that person.
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