Archive for CEDRIC Centre

Who Says?

Who SaysHello all!! For this week +- Last week we were noticing comparisons, and the week before we were observing the tone we used to speak in certain situations and what it means about how we’re feeling and perceiving ourselves. I have yet to receive any direct feedback on the comparison recon and will follow up with you on how to make best use of this assignment when I do. So, if you tried the exercise and are just a bit too shy or self-critical to share what you learned, remember you can always share and ask for your personal information to be kept private. This week I want you to pay special attention to:
  1. Any time that you feel silly, small, stupid, or judged.
  2. Any time you find yourself imagining a situation in the future where something will happen that you believe will trigger those feelings of insecurity.

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparing Yourself to OthersI know, I know. You don’t do that! But maybe someone you know does….? Just kidding! We all do it – even the healthiest of us fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others from time to time. If we’re using food to cope or any other harmful coping strategy, I guarantee you, you are spending far more time than is helpful or necessary comparing yourself to others. This exercise will help you notice when you’re getting caught in the comparison game and help you to understand why you do it and how to step free. Below are some suggestions of things to be noticing over the next week. Email me and tell me what you notice and we’ll have a dialogue about some simple things you can do to feel more confident in your own skin and less attached to what others have or do or think or feel. We can’t be free of our use of food to cope with stress until we understand where our stress comes from and create effective, life-enhancing ways of thinking and behaving in stressful situations. So, let’s go! (more…)

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Recovery Overview and ‘Check Your Tone’ Review

Check Your ToneHello out there! Last week I invited you to explore a key piece of reconnaissance. The assignment was as follows: Notice the different tone in your voice at different times, with different people, and around different topics. Please review last week’s article if you missed it and give it a try this week, it will help immensely in your recovery. If you gave the homework a go you likely noticed that your tone and body language changed radically depending on who you were talking to and where and what topic you were covering. Some adjustment of tone is appropriate given the topic and the location and the person. Ie. It wouldn’t be appropriate to speak to the bank teller in the same intimate tone that we use for our partner in a tender moment. At least not in most cultures that I know of. This of course is not to say that we can’t feel love in our heart for everyone we meet and be warm and caring towards them. It is stating though that our emotions naturally come through in our tone. (more…)

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Check Your Tone

Hello out there! This week we are exploring a key piece of a process that I call reconnaissance (which in The CEDRIC Method means: Self-observation). This will help you to catch yourself heading into binge / purge / or restriction mode before you get there so that you can have a greater likelihood of cutting it off at the pass. It will also help you to feel more confident and secure in yourself and in your relationships with others, be it the grocery store clerk or your partner, best friend, or parent. Below are a series of questions for you to be asking yourself throughout the week when you are conversing with others and just after a conversation (whether via phone, email or in person). (more…)

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Mastering The Green-Eyed Monster

how to overcome jealousyI am a specialist who works with those who are frustrated with their bodies and their relationship with food (those who binge or restrict or purge in any way). As you can imagine, in my conversations with clients, the topic of feeling envious of the seeming ease and comfort that others feel in their bodies and with food and then consequently feeling guilty/shameful for feeling envious, comes up daily. As such, I have, from my own recovery process and countless hours with clients, devised a quick little tool to shift those icky, jealous feelings and the underlying needs that triggered them. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you’ll never, ever again start to feel those stirrings of “Why them and not me!?” around those people/places/things that we would like for ourselves or conversely, “Why me and not them!!!?” around those things that we’d really have preferred not to have experienced in our brief but action-packed lives. (more…)

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How thoughts can keep you stuck

How Thoughts Can Keep You Stuck 

…and what to do about it!

It really is true that how you think influences how you feel, how you see the world, and the actions you take in response.

If your thinking, like that of many others in the world, is influenced by old core beliefs, confused interpretations of your childhood life experiences, and a tendency to assume the worst, then no matter what opportunities are presenting themselves your thinking is going to tell you that you’re not worthy, deserving, good enough, lovable, acceptable etc. and therefore those good things couldn’t possibly happen to you. And even if they did they sure won’t last. And even if they last for a while it’s all going to end with you getting hurt and being abandoned and rejected so why even bother!!

Most people have these kinds of irrational but paralyzing thoughts running, like the ticker tape at the stock exchange, just beneath the surface of their conscious awareness, constantly. 

And these thoughts trigger sensations of anxiety or unease which create an even greater sense that something bad is sure to happen, sometime, and lead us to continue to buy in to those old stories and the isolation and insecurity they naturally trigger.

Those old, unconscious stories also create other nasty side effects such as eating disorders, binging, emotional eating, chronic dieting and body image stress, alcoholism, drug addiction, internet addiction, overspending and any other harmful coping strategy you can think of.

They are the root of all the harmful patterns humans behave in as well as the feelings and anxiety, anger and depression that are so rampant in our society.

What if instead of being stuck in those automatic thoughts of doom and gloom and insecurity, you could approach life in a neutral way – in the most truthful way:

You don’t know what’s going to happen or what others are really thinking and feeling; but you are going to do your best to create the outcome that you’d most like to see for yourself in every area of your life.

Which approach makes the most sense? 

Allow yourself to imagine, even for a moment, that beyond the basic laws of our society pertaining to honesty, theft and murder etc., there really is no universal right or wrong. There is no perfect choice. What it truly right for you in the moment is all that matters.

Can you allow yourself to sop and offer this thought to yourself?

And then imagine being able to trust yourself to confidently identify what is truly right for you in any moment and to follow through on doing your best to create that outcome?

What would life be like if you could really trust that you are thinking clearly, seeing things clearly, and capable of demonstrating maturity and respect for yourself and others?

There is a simple step-by-step process that you can learn that will make this your reality.

I’d be happy to teach it to you. Just email me @ Or if you’re more of a self-starter sign up for my web program and practice the tools in simple weekly lessons. 

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Anxiety and Eating Disorders

Anxiety and Eating Disorders

This brief article will help you to appreciate the connection between anxiety and eating disorders. Eating disorders of any kind,whether binging / overeating, emotional eating, anorexia, bulima, or orthorexia or others all have an underlying root of anxiety that is triggered by a combination of painful life experiences and confused thinking. 

It is the confused thinking part of the equation that really has the most lingering impact.

Long after the traumatic or unsatisfying event has occurred, the confused thinking will be telling and re-telling us stories of what’s wrong or unacceptable about us that triggered that traumatic event to happen in the first place and how we will always be lacking.

This thinking creates chronic anxiety and insecurity and influences our choices and our interactions with the people in our lives, thus keeping that old trauma and that confused thinking alive and well long after the triggering situation has ended.

Too often we focus on the most obvious issue (the food, what we weigh, how much we’re drinking etc.) and try to make changes to that without understanding that those behaviours are truly just symptoms of the combination of painful past experiences and confused thinking that are triggering anxiety and insecurity that we are then responding to with the food, alcohol, overspending etc.

In other words – when we are stuck in harmful coping patterns we think it looks like this:

Binging makes me feel bad which makes me not like myself and feel insecure and anxious. If I stopped the binging I’d feel less anxious and insecure and things would be better so let’s impose a diet and control my food and it will all work out. Right?

I imagine your life experience is evidence that this is not the case. Mine sure was.

In reality what’s really going on is this:

I have some painful experiences in my past where I felt unsafe or unimportant or unloved. I interpreted these events as being about something wrong or lacking in me. This made me feel anxious and insecure. This led me to interact with others in ways that made things awkward because I didn’t feel safe sharing myself fully with others. This led me to assume that I was right and that there was something wrong with me which made me feel more anxious and insecure etc. etc. etc.  The side-effect of me feeling so anxious was that I reached for food (or drugs, alcohol, internet etc) to cope with my anxiety and to numb and soothe myself. 
Because the thinking and anxiety have been a part of my brain and body for so long they didn’t stand out as the root of the issue – it is the behaviour that is more obvious and the consequence of being overweight or intoxicated that stands out and so I assume it is the problem.
In reality, my thinking and the emotions that those thoughts trigger is my real problem. And if I really want to change my food/drinking etc. I need to learn the tools I need to change how I think.

If you’re ready to learn how to change the way you think and therefore change how anxious and insecure you feel and naturally change the grip food has on you, send me an email  or visit our web program or products pages and get started learning the tools that will change your life for good, today.

Love Michelle

Posted in: All-or-Nothing Thinking, and Binging, Anorexia and Bulimia, CEDRIC Centre, Complete Recovery, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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The eating disorder struggle begins and ends within

The eating disorder struggle begins and ends within:

I know, I know, it really does seem like the issue is food and what you weigh and all those people out there who seem to judge or criticize you rather than love and appreciate and welcome you. And it’s really frustrating to hear that that isn’t really the issue when you don’t know what the hell the real issue is or what to do about it to make things different.

When people used to say that to me I felt the same level of frustration and stuckness that I felt when I would read the teachings of great spiritual masters and the essence of their message would be ‘be as you are.’ Huh? Ummmmm…Well, at that time, ‘as i are’ was feeling like a total piece of crap 24/7, chronically insecure, binging and hating everything about my body. I was pretty sure that being more of that wasn’t the path to enlightenment or anything for that matter other than the mental institution or a life of loneliness and more binging.

So many times I read books about eating disorders or self-esteem and there were no tools in them – just people sharing their own stories and telling me that I too could get better; I too could love myself one day.  Again, that’s great – thanks! But how exactly? I hated myself and believed everyone hated me (or certainly didn’t think I had any value) too.  

Oh, I tried the affirmations. I tried positive thinking. I tried stopping negative thoughts. I tried diet after diet after diet. I tried therapy. I tried medicine. I tried dieting. I tried killer bootcamps and exercise programs. Did I mention I tried dieting??? Every diet under the sun. I tried it. And I failed. Failed. Failed. Washed out. Couldn’t cut it – didn’t have the willpower; was too lazy; didn’t care enough about myself….at least that’s what the diet people said must be the cause, so I believed it and felt even more insecure, anxious, lonely and unlovable every day.

Then, I met a women named Marie Cochrane who is long retired now but at the time was an innovator in her field and suggested to me a thought which, 25 years ago was a very novel thought indeed: What if my struggles with food and weight loss and self-esteem were not caused by food and weight?


And what if in starting to identify and resolve the true underlying causes of these issues they would, essentially, resolve themselves???

Ummmm….that would be cool! I’d be in for that!

Well, Marie had a great idea and some great ways of helping me to check that idea out for myself. I picked up that ball and I ran with it. I created 2 simple step-by-step tools to streamline the process of identifying what is really triggering you and what you can do about it. I created simple step-by-step information sheets for how to start relating normally to food again. 

Put the two together and you have a simple, effective, speedy approach to changing the way you relate to food and to building solid self-esteem and great relationships with other people.

Clients often tell me that they can’t believe how easy this approach is. After years of struggling and stressing 24/7  it can feel strange to be experiencing greater peace and confidence with just a few minutes of effort each day.  But the truth is change doesn’t have to be hard – it’s only been hard to far because you’ve been trying to achieve change in ways that just don’t work.

I’m here to help if you’re ready to experience confidence and happiness that lasts.

Love Michelle

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Coping strategies are crutches

Coping strategies are crutches

The proper definition of a coping strategy is: Any thought, feeling or behaviour that allows us to remain in an uncomfortable situation without being aware of how uncomfortable we are.

When we consider this definition of a coping strategy it becomes clear that if we are using coping strategies something else is going on underneath that is really not feeling good to us.

So often we have been raised to discount and dismiss our feelings; to ignore that we are even having a feeling; and to feel embarrassed and ashamed should we inadvertently express some sadness or anger or irritation to another human being. This training has led to us automatically shutting down our conscious awareness to any emotional sensation we might be having until it gets too powerful for us to ignore. Thus we can believe, even more strongly, that feelings are bad, overwhelming, uncontrollable things and we should work harder to ignore them – and that’s where the coping strategies come in.

If  I’m feeling overwhelmed by feelings of tension, stress, loneliness or frustration, say, when I get in the door from work – which is a natural occurrence as all the feelings we don’t have time to feel or are distracted from during the day naturally come up when things are more mellow and there are fewer distractions – if I’ve been trained to judge my feelings and to judge myself for having them I am naturally going to feel compelled to do whatever I need to do to distance myself from my feelings. 

It isn’t going to occur to me to examine my thoughts and see what’s triggering the feeling, instead I’m heading for the carbs and sugars and alcohol and t.v. and internet and maybe all of those at once to help myself self-medicate and numb and soothe.

Coping strategies are crutches but they don’t aid us to get better as real crutches do – they keep us stuck and often make things worse through the side effects they trigger such as binge eating, eating disorders, alcoholism, debt, isolation and more.

It is truly quite simple to learn how to respond appropriately to your feelings and so often very simple to solve the problems that truly exist in your life – you just need good support and simple tools and that’s what I’m here for. 

If you’d like to stop existing in coping strategy land and instead, feel confident and secure, and happy in your life, let me know. I’ll show you a simple way through.

Love Michelle

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