Archive for Audios
I’ve posted a snippet of the article here for you to read. Just click on the link to read or listen to more:
“When I use my tools, they work! Things are easier, more peaceful. I just don’t feel the need to use food to cope when I use my tools.”
I hear this a lot from clients. And it’s true.
However, from clients who are a little new with the process, there is usually a “…but” attached to the end of it and the rest of the statement sounds something like, “…it’s just so hard to use my tools.” Or “….it takes too long and I don’t have the time or energy to do anything other than eat.” Or even “….what if they stop working? I need to hang on to my use of food to cope just in case my new tools stop working.”
Okay, for starters, under what circumstances could increased awareness and compassion for yourself and others ever stop working for anything? They are the key to the happiness in every single happy person. That last statement, “…what if they stop working…” if you’ve ever thought it, is a great indicator that your Drill Sgt. is in charge of your healing in that moment and not your adult self. The all-or-nothing thinking; The doubt; The belief that coping with food actually helps you in any way and would be a good thing to hold on to are all indicators that your mind has kicked into one of the basic characteristics of the Drill Sgt.: Learned Helplessness.
In essence you’re saying to yourself “I don’t really think anything but food can make me “feel better” and I don’t really think I can learn to resolve my underlying stressors so I have to keep my numbing tactics at the ready.”
If that’s the mindset that you are bringing to this process – which it is – because no one who uses food to cope ever does so from any place other than learned helplessness – this process can feel hard and like it takes a long time. My role in your life is to shift you out of that stuck, all-or-nothing headspace asap and get you into a possibilities mindset where you genuinely realize the many options in each situation and you don’t default into that stuck, sinking feeling that makes you believe the only solution is to restrict, or binge, or purge.
Common learned helplessness statements sound like this:
- I can’t do anything about X;
- Life will always be like Y;
- I will always be stuck/lonely/unhappy/insecure;
- Change is too hard;
- It’s too overwhelming;
- There’s too much to do;
- Others will be upset with me;
- I don’t even know where to begin;
- I can’t!!
When you think of not using food to cope and you feel sad and scared and disappointed, it’s only because the part of you that is thinking about using food to cope in that moment is the part of you that believes that you can not truly feel peaceful and nurtured and safe and comforted without food. Thus it imagines that what’s really going to happen when you use your tools instead of eating is that you’ll still feel anxious and overwhelmed but you won’t let yourself comfort yourself with food. So of course it resists using the tools. Who wouldn’t!
That’s the same part of you that believes that using your tools is a lot of work, that it’s hard and that it won’t actually lead to any lasting change anyway. We call that the Drill Sgt. and his characteristic “learned helplessness.”
Read more of Tools for How to stop binging, overeating, emotional eating and dieting.
Download the recorded one hour teleclasses with Michelle if you are unable to join in live.
The teleclass series highlight segments of our transformative weekend workshops. We designed these of course to reach as many people as possible, but particularly for those who don’t have access to the specific counselling we provide due to location, finances or just a state of readiness to ask for help. The principles learned in the CEDRIC material not only help you deal with disordered eating, they can help anyone using a coping strategy they wish to stop, such as drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc. get closer to their goal by teaching them why they do what they do and how to retrain their brain on many levels.
You will find a variety of topics covered to help you attain the healthy relationship with food and body image that you seek.
These are great lessons to own and replay when you need a pep talk so please play them more than once and the repeated message will surely pay off!
To see the schedule, go to http://www.cedriccentre.com/mini-workshops-webinars-and-teleclasses(more…)
Compassion is the Key – MP3 DownloadCompassion is often key missing ingredient in our relationship with ourselves. As such we seek to motivate ourselves through criticism and fear which only serves to drive us back to food to cope. In order to truly be free from food as a coping strategy, regardless of whether you overeat, purge, or restrict; the first step is beginning to have empathy and compassion for yourself. No, that doesn’t mean anything like settling for where you are now. It means respecting and appreciating yourself enough to want to be the best you can be and live the life you were meant to live. Compassion is the key. (more…)
Healthy Relationships – MP3 DownloadThe patterns that we have learned about how to be in relationship with another person are often a key element in our use of food to cope. Those old harmful ways of thinking about relationships and our role in them frequently thwarts our recovery more than anything else. This doesn’t speak to your significant other necessarily, it may be colleagues, parents, kids, friends, the grocery store clerk etc. (more…)
This CD covers all the basics of why you use food to cope and what you can do to bring greater awareness and choice to your underlying triggers. If you are ready to challenge your existing patterns around food and begin to have a free and easy relationship with food this is the place to begin.(more…)