Archive for 2009

Tweets on 2009-08-23

  • I will be a key presenter @ the Vancouver Health Show, October 17th and 18th. I’m so excited! Stay tuned for Vancouver workshop info. #
  • Have you checked in with yourself today? How are you feeling? What (separate from food and body image) may be triggering that feeling? M #

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Traveling with an Eating Disorder, Part 3 of 3

Hello! And welcome! This is Part III of an article on navigating travel and vacation time in the easiest most relaxed way when you’re still on the path to recovery from the use of food to cope (ie. overeating, restricting, purging, or that annoying diet mentality). Part I spoke about creating a sense of peace and comfort around the variety and/or constraints of choice that vacationing can provide. In Part I, I provided you with a clear list of tools you can use to ground yourself and come back to basics regardless of what’s on the menu.  I have heard from quite a few clients who have carried Part I with them on their travels this summer and have found these simple suggestions extremely helpful in remaining clear on what action to take to feel more at ease than ever before. (more…)

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What Can I Know For Certain?

If we have fallen into the behaviour of overeating, restricting or purging – in other words: If we use food to cope, we can absolutely know a few key things about ourselves that can really help us in our recovery.
  1. First, we can absolutely know for certain that we struggle with insecurities about our abilities; our intellect; our lovability; our acceptability and our appearance.
  2. Second, we can absolutely know for certain that those insecurities are borne of old stories; messages we were told or that we interpreted from other people’s body language or treatment of us and that those old stories are shaping our perception of ourselves today.
  3. Next, we can absolutely know for certain that these old stories that trigger you to feel insecure trigger an emotion we call “anxiety.”
  4. And without a doubt you can know that it is the anxiety you feel, that arises from these old stories about what’s wrong with you, that triggers you to focus on your body and on food in a way that is critical, undermining and stifling of your energy and creativity in life.
Without exception you can know these 4 things are true about yourself if you use food to cope. (ie. eat when you’re not hungry; eat more than you’re hungry for; or don’t allow yourself to eat when you are hungry). (more…)

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Trust in the Big Picture

Hello All! It’s been a very busy time here at CEDRIC and in my own life. Thankfully both pieces seem to be settling down and August looks to be a time of catching up, relaxing and settling in. Here, here! I’m very much enjoying my patio, with its all day sunshine and watching my young son bouncing merrily on his trampoline. I was sifting through a journal from this time last year and recognized that many of the goals I had for my life last year have been realized and that the others are well on their way to manifesting. It occurred to me in that moment how incredibly lucky that makes me, and then it occurred to me that it wasn’t luck at all. It was the practice of first trusting that I was deserving of and could create the life of my dreams; then came the piece of conceptualizing that dream existence; then came the process of identifying the steps I needed to take to get from point A to point B.

Trust in the big picture

All along the theme is trust. Trusting my deservedness, trusting my capabilities, trusting the key people in my life, trusting that, regardless of how things seem in the moment, they always, always, work out for the best. I don’t know whether you’re a spiritual person, a religious person or neither. The good news is it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to believe in a higher power or God or anything greater than yourself (although you certainly can) in order to be able to look back at your life so far and see that the events and circumstances you felt maybe “shouldn’t” have been happening then led you to the place you are now. Out of adversity comes strength. That has been shown to me time and time again. The greatest gift of my personal growth this past decade has been the development of a profound sense of trust that regardless of how things appear in any given moment, they are unfolding exactly as they should. And if I look for the gains, the positives in each situation, I will find them, just as surely as I will find the downside if I seek it. It is our choice, as beings with free will, to focus on what is working or on what isn’t; to attach to how we think things should be or to let go and be open to the silver lining in every situation.  It is so easy to get hooked on how things should look and then get angry, sad, hurt, frustrated, scared, etc. when things don’t go as planned. It is far, far easier and far more strengthening to recognize when you’re holding on to things looking a certain way and to just let go and trust that something even better than you had imagined is coming your way. Again, you don’t have to look very far to see the truth of this. Most of us can recall a circumstance – say, the loss of a job or a relationship that we wouldn’t have chosen at the time and that we truly felt shouldn’t be happening or was just downright “wrong.” In hindsight though, wouldn’t you say that “it” worked out for the best; that the loss of that connection or career opened new avenues that led to people and places you wouldn’t now trade for the world? It’s a challenge in the moment to let go and trust in the bigger picture. In fact, it would be truthful to say it is “the” challenge of our lives. And the more we learn to recognize when we’re holding on and to instead, allow ourselves to just let go and trust, the easier, more peaceful, more fun, more amazing and beautiful life gets. I challenge you to recognize some of the things in your present life that you’re resisting letting go of or resisting accepting and see what happens if you just challenge yourself to say, “Well, this is what’s happening. It may scare me. It may not be what I expected or wanted. But I know things always unfold in a way that leads me to bigger and better things. Can I just relax and open myself to this experience as best I can?” If you can repeat this mantra when you catch yourself resisting change, you will find a sense of strength and peace, even in the face of a greatest challenge, that carries you through.  We are human, we have feelings. That’s healthy and normal. It’s what we do with those feelings that makes the difference. Do we stuff them and tell ourselves we shouldn’t have them or that what’s happening in our lives shouldn’t be happening? Or do we recognize them for the indicators they are and look beneath them for the situation or story that is triggering them? The first scenario leads to the use of food to cope. The second scenario leads to freedom. If you’d like to be able to choose the second scenario over the first and to develop a deep sense of trust in your ability to navigate life with dignity and grace, rather than with food and body image focus, I welcome the opportunity to work with you and support you to achieve that goal. It is possible. Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, or the  self-help approach, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food.  Life is far too short to waste one more day. Love Michelle

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Traveling with an Eating Disorder, Part 2 of 3

(If you haven’t read Part I, I encourage you to start there and come on back when you’re done.) In the first segment of this 3-part article we addressed what it can be like when we have a stressful relationship with food and we’re away from home and our familiar foods and secure access to them. I gave you some clear steps to follow to aid you to feel more balanced and relaxed while you’re out and about. In this segment, we’re going to address one of the other key elements of traveling. It is so incredibly obvious and yet, like many obvious things, we often don’t think about it and consider its potential impact on us physically and emotionally. This “obvious” thing I’m talking about is the change that occurs in your daily routine when you’re traveling and how this affects your body and emotions. This change directly impacts your primary coping strategy: Food and Bad Body Thoughts. (more…)

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Life is Beautiful

Life is beautiful. It is complex and it has many twists and turns, but it has a quality of freedom and the opportunity for constant self-creationism that, with the right mindset, allows each of us to feel exuberant, passionate, alive and fulfilled whether we are accepting a Nobel prize, giving birth, beginning or ending a relationship, washing the dishes or stuck in rush-hour traffic. But what about someone who doesn’t have the “right” mindset? What about someone who, however it came to be, doesn’t see the world as their oyster of creation but instead sees themselves as undeserving of what they desire; who sees themselves as “not good enough”?  How do they navigate the stress of accepting an award, having a child, ending a relationship or that inevitable traffic jam? Mostly likely they’ve developed patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving called “coping strategies” that allow them to feel some degree of safety and security in their world. Coping strategies take many forms.  One primary coping strategy that many people in our society develop is a preoccupation with appearance and with their relationship with food, either in a restricting or overeating way. (more…)

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Exploring the Fear of Judgement

All weight problems are simply a reflection of a lack of balance within. That’s all. Emotionally and physically you’re out of balance.  Your priorities are skewed and they need to be tweaked so that you really embody the belief that your needs and your health are the most important things in your world. Now, rather than feeling “outed” by this statement and that everyone you meet is going to “know” you’re out of balance, could you allow yourself instead to just accept the truth of it? Instead of trying to protect yourself from the truth of your lack of balance, how about asking the question: “What’s the fastest, most effective and lasting solution to this problem?” (more…)

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What is Self-respect?

   
What is Self-respect?

Love your Self

Recently a client asked me what Self-respect meant to me. She also shared her own definition and it got me thinking that my readers might benefit from considering this question and exploring their own definitions.  Have a read of my off the cuff answer to my client and then please take a moment to share your own defniniton. How do you demonstrate self-respect? or…How would you like to see yourself demonstrating it? Michelle       Self-respect for me means respecting myself above all else. It means honoring my values and principles before anyone and anything else. It means trusting myself to say and do only what feels true and honoring.  It means listening to and respecting that precious little voice inside when it feels a little fearful, reluctant or unsettled; trusting that there is a legitimate reason for me to be feeling that way and if I just get quiet and listen I’ll figure out what it is that isn’t feeling good and also, what it is that I need to do to honor myself. Sometimes respecting myself can make other people angry, frustrated, disappointed, and hurt because they want to be able to dictate what I do and/or because they believe that I am responsible for their happiness in that moment. As long as I don’t put more weight on their needs or their perception of me; as long as I don’t get caught up in feeling like I need their approval or that they shouldn’t be angry with me I can easily stay solid and true to myself, honor my truth about what I need, feel, want etc.. In most cases that person will ultimately see their own responsibility in the situation and apologize for putting the responsibility on me, or at least change their behaviour in the future. In the rare cases where that doesn’t happen, it’s a blessing because clearly that person is only interested in being right and having what they want, regardless of the cost to me or to our friendship. Those are good people to have distance from. The more life experience I have in staying true to myself despite, at times, very strong pressure not to, the more I see that it has always been me who is in charge of my relationships and whether they are fulfilling or draining. It has always been me who allows someone to take advantage of me or not. It has always been me and my choices creating that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach that used to lead me to focus negatively on food and body image. And now, it is me who gets clear on what I truly think and feel before speaking. It is me who doesn’t commit to anything unless I feel truly peaceful about it and like I’m not compromising my needs or values to meet someone else’s needs or gain their approval. It’s me who puts my self-care first and makes time and energy each day for self-reflection and inner connection, regardless of how many other things and people would like my time. Self-respect means knowing that you are equal to every other being on the planet. You are just as deserving of respect and dignity and success and happiness and love and appreciation as anyone else. And the only thing that prevents anyone from knowing that and from living from that space of deservedness and self-acceptance is that they continue to look to others for permission to feel equal and happy and deserving. Once you stop looking outside of yourself and just reassure yourself from within that you are good enough you will feel self-respect; you will find the solid ground that can never leave you regardless of what is going on around you. Love Michelle What does self-respect mean to you?  Leave a comment and let us know.

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