Cedric Centre for Counselling Inc.


Archive for April, 2009

The ‘Authentic Self’ Awareness Test : As the crowd in my head is tested~ Tina’s Journey’

The 'Authentic Self' Awareness TestAs the garden takes shape on my balcony and I delve deeper into sustainable techniques for providing my little family food that grows  fresh from my planters as well as my garden, I have also been spending a lot of time thinking about my process as I read the CEDRIC book’ you’re probably familiar with by now, ‘Food is not the problem- Deal with what is‘.

It is an interesting position that I find myself in with my job at CEDRIC as well as my process utilizing the different books, cd’s and philosophy that are now available to me. I find my life has become a rapidly evolving series of events and ponderances that result in it becoming richer, deeper and ultimately, happier.

I have to give credit where its due as its the humble and kind Michelle Morand’s teaching and energy that are contributing to the vast improvements in how I see myself. I am finally at a critical stage of recognizable achievement in this process as it is not because I am recieving external validation, but because of the diametric opposite of that, I find myself no longer requiring external validation of any sort in order to feel ‘right’ or ‘acceptable’. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →

Feeling Resentful

Feeling ResentfulFeeling Resentful Anyone?

Hello out there!

What you’ve got in front of you is a fairly lengthy, but I trust, extremely helpful and informative article on how your feelings of frustration, resentment and insecurity in your relationships with others are really stemming from unconscious assumptions that you have made about the other person or about relationships on the whole.

I then share with you some concrete suggestions for what to do when you realize you’ve made assumptions and how to get to a place of peace within yourself and within the relationship. And, when you feel more peaceful and secure in yourself and in your relationships you will feel less inclination to use food to cope, guaranteed.

I hope you enjoy it and benefit from the tools!

P.S. Dn’t forget to email me and share your thoughts / experiences with these tools. And if you want more tools and articles make sure you’re signed up for our free bi-weekly newsletter: Food is not the Problem: Find out what is!

Have a great read.

Love Michelle

The problem with assumptions is not that we make them – although that does often cause resentment and confusion in our relationships with others – no, the real problem with assumptions is that most of the time we don’t even know we’ve made them – or that someone else has made some about us – until something happens in the relationship, contrary to our unconscious assumptions, and we feel the sting of perceived betrayal or the pain and grief of conflict where we thought we had unspoken agreement.

We typically just assume that others share our values and that their definition for, say, reliability, is the same as ours. We assume others think like us, feel like us, and will act like us in similar circumstances and when they don’t – and they won’t –we feel betrayed, misled, and start to question who this imposter is and what happened to the person we though we were in a relationship with!

This is a key step in the relationship process; seeing the person as they really are and not as we assume, and therefore expect, them to be. It’s the point at which we have the opportunity to step into true, adult love. Or, it could be the point at which we realize we really don’t like who this person really is now that the blinders are off. Either way it’s a very significant point in life. But this key moment of true seeing that comes to all relationships in time, is also limited by any other assumptions we’ve made about who this person is that we haven’t yet uncovered. In other words, often, at the same time as we’re seeing that we’ve made some erroneous assumptions (ie. reliability doesn’t mean the same thing to you as it does to me), we’re often still being unconsciously driven by other assumptions (ie. that you will surely see that my definition of reliability is the “right” one and you will change your behaviour to coincide with my definition) that have not yet been revealed to us.  Sound like Greek?


Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →

Being Who You’ve Always Been

Hello out there! Michelle here.

There’s a card I have had up in my bedroom for I don’t know how long and this morning as I was looking at it for the thousandth time I thought you might find it relevant as well. The quote is this:

“She realized this transition was not about becoming someone new but about finally allowing herself to be who she’d always been.”

Each of you has an amazing, talented, warm and loving presence inside of her. Perhaps you even let others see that side of you. If you’re using food to cope you can bet that you’re not allowing yourself to really recognize and embrace that amazing person who is you. You’re stifling her for all you’re worth.

It’s her desire to express herself fully in the face of old beliefs you carry about your right to exist; to take up space; your deservedness of success and happiness and contentment; and of healthy, loving relationships, that makes you feel fragmented, fraudulent, inauthentic and anxious. And it is that anxiety that leads you to focus on food and body image in harmful ways and to miss out on all that you, and that life have to offer.

What if you took a moment today and just got still and quiet and asked yourself, “What are the people/situations in my life currently where I feel I cannot be fully authentic – fully myself?”

If you’re honest with yourself you will come up with a list of people and situations that currently trigger you to feel like you will be rejected and judged negatively if you say or do what really feels right for you.

Now it’s time to take steps to develop the tools and awareness within yourself to create connections with those people/situations where you feel safe being fully authentic. As you begin on this path you will notice your focus on food and body image lessens and your sense of self strengthens, and your relationships with others become better than they’ve ever been.

Being who you’ve always been is not a disastrous concept certain to ruin your precarious grasp on life. Being who you’ve always been will bring you a sense of strength and confidence, as sense of “being somebody” that no one can take away no matter how much they disagree with your choices or behaviours.

I guarantee it!

Love Michelle

Being Who You’ve Always Been

If you’d like to begin to change your relationship with food and your sense of your self today – give me a call or send me an email mmorand@cedriccentre.com.

And if you’re not already registered, sign up for our free newsletter to stay tuned for more articles and tips for recovery <a href=”http://www.cedriccentre.com/free-newsletter”>Sign up for our free newsletter</a>.


Posted in: Uncategorized

Leave a Comment (0) →

CEDRIC Centre is ‘a-Twitter’ with news ~ Birds of a feather Twitter together!

CEDRIC Centre is 'a-Twitter' with newsThe new Twitterphenomenon is upon us and this tiny little social utility has entered the discourse of our culture in a big way recently. When we turn our televisions on, it seems that every celebrity, everybody at all, has gotten on the Twitterwagon and is supporting it.

So who are we to be left in the dust of an evolving cultural phenomenon?

CEDRIC Centre is ‘a-Twitter’ with News

Do youTwitter? If you do, add the CedricCentre and be alerted when new blog posts, and hot off the presses copies of our newsletter ‘Food is not the problem ~ Find out what is!’ hits the media waves. We promise to not clutter up your technology with useless bits of fluff, and would love it if you stayed in touch via this clever little means of communication.

Have you twittered today?

We have!

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, The Law of Attraction

Leave a Comment (0) →

Tina’s Journey – Epiphany at the Blue Bridge

Tina's JourneyThis weekend was a lovely combination of solitude and company as my hubby and I went through our various routines. His involvement with the Anglican church means that I am able to have a fair bit of alone time, and we spent the rest of the time puttering or having a couple of nice drives and meals out.

He shows me he loves me in many ways, but this past week, he managed to drive a major point home.

I was bemoaning that I couldn’t find clothes to fit my 6 foot, 200 mumblemumble lb. frame and that what I did find was available in one store only and everybody else that was dealing with weight issues had the same clothes. We were in traffic in the car and I can remember that we were sitting in the left turn lane to the Blue Bridge when he turned to me and said ‘I love what’s in your head, I love your heart and I love you. I don’t see girth, I see beauty. Would you just appreciate the fact that you have what the majority of the population strives for and quit being so down on yourself?’

That was truly an ‘AHA’ moment for me.

What did he mean?

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →

Tweets on 2009-04-19


  • Wondering how Cedric community members are faring with the work on values and their connection to eating disorder recovery? Very powerful! M #
  • Driving in today I noticed all the beautiful cherry blossoms and felt gratitude for my own blossoming. Life is beautiful! #
  • CEDRIC’s latest newsletter edition is out! Enjoy! #
  • Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder where my bicycle is? #
  • Drill sergeant #
  • CEDRIC’s latest newsletter edition is out! Enjoy! #

Powered by Twitter Tools.

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre

Leave a Comment (0) →

Finding Peace ~ Michelle Morand

Finding PeaceForgive me for being macabre for a moment but…I am going to die. One day.

Could be 5 minutes from now, 5 days, one year, 20, 50, 75 years…..

I have very little control over when that happens or how. I may have lots of notice and have time to fulfill my own, personal “bucket list” or it may be sudden death – my death.

Despite the drama with which I’m putting this notion forth, these thoughts don’t depress or overwhelm me or trigger mortal dread: Unlike when, as a child, I first realized with abject terror that my parents were going to die one day – that their continued presence in my life was beyond my control – and was then also struck by the realization that I too would one day cease to exist.

No, these thoughts do not create distress for me, or sadness, or longing. Rather, they motivate me to live this moment as best I can. These thoughts motivate me to grow and to be the best that I can be in every moment. I know that in being the best that I can be in every moment I am doing my best to make the world a better place for however long I have the privilege of being able to contribute in mortal form.

Being the best I can be does not in any way mean perfect. I am far from that, as my son, friends, family and ex-boyfriends will attest to. It means honoring my values to the very best of my physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological ability every moment of every day. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (1) →

The Next Phase of Healing: Allowing myself to be nurtured

The Next Phase of HealingThere is a popular saying that claims that the squeaking wheel gets the grease.   The role of the Drill Sergeant is a huge squeaking wheel in CEDRIC philosophy, and it’s true that since this is the part of the problem that is the most vocal and apparent, it is what garners all the attention. I have come to view the role of the Drill Sergeant as the canary in the coal mine, in that if I have an inner voice that belabours and berates me, it is a sign that all is not right, and that there is a inadequacy of my self-esteem, which should be balanced enough to keep the negative internalizing at bay.

If most are like me, they’ve misunderstood and compounded the harm of this enormous squeak of this wheel by giving it credence for years, without really recognizing its value. Years of trying not to hear the harsh, hateful criticisms that blindsided me made me exceptionally good at one thing. Denial. I could block it out like I blocked out the immature noises my son made as a child, but was I doing myself any favours in this solution? In hindsight, I see that the answer to that is ‘hardly’.

In Gavin de Becker’s book ‘The Gift of Fear‘, he speaks of how our responses to threats are hardwired in us to protect us. He gives an example by showing how we listen to the protective instincts within ourselves when we get behind the wheel of an automobile. We look around us and subconsciously take in signals from others that indicate to us wether the car beside us is going to switch lanes or the vehicle ahead of us is about to turn right or left, but Becker says, the minute we get out of that car and shut the doors behind us, we turn off that instinctive personal radar and cease to listen to its warnings.

This phenomena of recognizing our protective reflexes in one situation yet negating them in others is very interesting to me. When I’m driving, I don’t hear the Drill Sergeant at all. I simply do what I have to do with him kept busy keeping the car where it should be, I guess. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed driving so much, it gave me a break from the relentless diatribe.

In Michelle Morand’s book, ‘Food is not the problem – Deal with what is, Michelle says that the Drill Sergeant likely uses the same tone of language and respect or disrespect as we experienced when we received when we were traumatized or forced to endure a difficult life passage. In my case, I know this explains why my DS sounds so much like my mother, with her clipped British tones to the never-ending German accent. She was very angry at her own life and would direct that rage at me whenever she decided I had let her down again. Now, I see that I am a textbook case for Michelle’s message and in a way, I’m lucky to have found someone who can help me to internalize a new kind of self understanding in order to move on. In a way, I feel like I’m being untangled, unscrambled, like the funhouse mirror is becoming less wonky and I can now trust my internal perceptions without the doubt that was generated by such a diminishing canary. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

Leave a Comment (0) →
Page 1 of 2 12