Cedric Centre for Counselling Inc.


Archive for March, 2009

Overcoming Late Night Promises

Overcoming Late Night Promises  You know how you make those heartfelt, serious, absolutely for certain promises late at night that you’re for sure not going to do “X” tomorrow? You know the promises I mean.

Whether it’s overeat, or restrict, or purge, or yell at the kids, or call that guy, or get to work late, or skip your meditation, or drink coffee, or put something on your credit card that you can’t afford, or shop on eBay, etc. you likely fall prey to the late night promises as a way to try and feel a little more peaceful about the day you’ve just had and a little more hopeful about the day to come.

You are sincere. You absolutely mean it when you make that promise to yourself. But, within a few minutes or a few hours, maybe as soon as you open your peepers, the promise is toast and you’ve assured yourself you’ll start with that particular behavioural change “tomorrow.

Now, this doesn’t exactly reassure you. You’ve heard this from yourself before. You know yourself well and you know that unless some sort of miracle happens you’re going to have a day of seeing yourself compromise your integrity / break your promise and then make the same promise that night followed by another day of diminished self-trust and inner security as the promise is neglected once again. It is this cycle of making commitments and then breaking them with just the slightest provocation that triggers that lovely inner companion, the Drill Sgt., to begin his litany of self-contempt and condemnation.

If you could find a way to do two little things your life would change immeasurably – I promise. And if you’re not ready or able yet to do both, pick one! It will make a world of difference. (more…)

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Procrastination: Perfecting the art of "later"

ProcrastinationYou know, it’s been a long time since I binged. It’s been a long time since I even wanted to. I used to binge many times a day, and think about it constantly.

I was either planning a binge; binging; or feeling guilty for binging and trying to restrict myself, which very quickly led to me planning another binge and so on and so on and so on. This is what we refer to as the “diet-binge-guilt” cycle, and it used to be a 24/7 companion in my mind and in my life. Trying to fight off the urge to binge and trying to numb out to the guilt and shame I felt afterwards was a full time job. I don’t know how I managed to work and smile and look like I had it all together.

My nickname at work during those most horrendously out of control years was, if you can believe it… sunshine! Oh, if only my co-workers knew what went on inside my little noggin. It was exhausting being at work and having to appear happy and together when inside I felt so fat and gross and ugly and my clothes were too tight and I could hardly breathe (I wouldn’t let myself buy anything new because, of course, I was going to lose weight soon don’t you know!!). Not only that but I also had constant thoughts of what I should be eating fighting a serious but losing battle with thoughts of what I craved but “shouldn’t” have. Ah, yes, was it any wonder that by the time I returned home at the end of each day I felt so fatigued and so overwhelmed and so depressed that I binged just to soothe and numb out; damn the consequences of weight gain and certain drill sgt. verbal lashing. I needed food now!!

I’d deal with the consequences of that choice later.

Ah, yes, later. We who need to numb out to various circumstances in our lives love that word. It’s fabulous. Just listen to how it rolls off your tongue, later; lllllllllllater. It’s fantastic. I don’t have to do it; think it; be it; experience it now because, guess what? I can do it….later! Yesssss! But damn if there isn’t something of a major catch in that philosophy! Later never comes. Later never becomes now. We never grow up. We never learn to take responsibility for our now when we’re constantly putting off making honoring choices until later. We never learn how to identify and resolve our problems or stresses when we keep waiting for that elusive later to arrive.

You may not know how to take the steps to make the changes you want to make in your life to your restriction or overeating; your preoccupation with food and body image; your feelings of anxiety and depression. That’s where we at The CEDRIC Centre come in. All you need is a readiness for things to be different. If you’re desirous of change and you’re ready to manifest that change; if you’d like to stop waiting for later and begin to reclaim your life and start living in earnest now it’s definitely time to dig deep and reach out and let us support you to let your food focus go and become all you can be. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The Law of Attraction, Tips for Natural Eating

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CEDRIC Client Testimonials

CEDRIC Client TestimonialsBy Tina Budeweit-Weeks, Ed.

We want to share the feedback we get with our readers. Here is a little collection of the nice things people are saying about what the CEDRIC Centre is doing for them. In one of the comments, our process of achieving wellness is refered to as ‘slaying dragons’. Its kind of fun to think of the ‘Drill Sergeant’ as having scales and breathing fire. I think that with the continued influence of CEDRIC philosophy, people can start seeing the fillibustering roaring dragons for what they are, meek, tiny, feeble little energies that are out to get us.


The first little write-up is from participants of our Phase II Weekend Workshops.

“Thank you for making this opportunity available.  Coming together with other people that use food to cope is not only comforting but motivating.  You provided a platform where others like me could learn in parity, by sharing our stories, experiences and challenges.  This past weekend has not only given me further insight into myself as a person but has also left me feeling very inspired to be (as I am learning) the individual, wife, mom and friend I want and can be.  I look forward to continuing on this journey with you as my guide and support.  You are an incredible counselor, teacher and woman.  I cannot thank you enough.  L.”

This next testimonial is much longer, but says so much that we wanted to share it with you in its entirety. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The Law of Attraction, Tips for Natural Eating

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‘Goal Setting’ ~ an excerpt from Michelle Morand’s book, ‘Food is not the problem – Find out what is!’

Goal SettingA Tidbit from Chapter 16

I need to take you on a little detour. In order for you to be able to fully embrace the concept of self-care, you not only need to be able to offer yourself understanding and compassion, which you now know very well how to do, but you also need to be able to feel safe?even excited?and open to the concept of establishing realistic goals. Let’s begin our exploration of the concept of self-care from the perspective of compassionate goal setting. This is an innovative way of approaching goal setting, and it will help greatly to quell the pressure of the Drill Sgt.’s all-or-nothing thinking and to ease the fear of the Authentic Self in engaging in something new.

Some Background on Your Resistance to Goals

If there is any part of you which feels resistant to the concept of goal setting, it won’t be your Drill Sgt. He loves setting goals. He loves creating rigid guidelines and ridiculous expectations to “support” you to achieve your needs for security, acceptance and esteem. No, any part of you that feels resistant to fully engaging in this discussion on goal setting would be your Authentic Self. She is deathly afraid of schedules and structure. You see, your Authentic Self is accustomed to the Drill Sgt.’s high-pressure tactics and “motivation through criticism.” She is understandably very reluctant to set herself up for any potential failure which is bound to be the outcome of the old method of goal setting. To your Authentic Self, having a clearly established goal right now is like walking into the lion’s den. It is to be avoided at all costs.

Click here to get your own copy of ‘Food is not the problem – Find out what is!’ to read the rest of the story.

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Fun Time

Fun Time

Fun Time – Laughter is Possible

You know, sometimes you just have to take a break from the introspection and self-analysis of the healing journey to have a good laugh.

Humor was instrumental in my own healing and if you’re not getting a daily dose of laughs I encourage you to add that to your self-care plan. Perhaps you could allow yourself to replace 5 minutes of Drill Sgt. motivation-through- criticism with 5 minutes of laughter.

For a start check out this You Tube video and give yourself the gift of the healing power of laughter. More to come…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMMfgWhm3g

Hugs and happy day!


Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Opportunity Knocks by Michelle Morand

opportunity knocksHey, out there!

I was just getting ready for my day and my mind was reflecting on a few recent events in my life and noticing a commonality between them. So naturally I thought I’d share these reflections with you.

It seems that the overall lesson is that when life presents us with an opportunity to change a harmful pattern we have two choices (assuming we’re conscious enough of the pattern to see it in the first place):

1. We can see the opportunity to do things differently and choose to do things the same old way anyway. Usually we make this choice out of fear of change or fear of angering or disappointing someone if we were to behave differently than they “expect.”


2. We can see the opportunity and choose to do things differently because we know what will happen if we do it the old way and we’re either sick and tired of the old way or we feel deserving of stepping free from the old, harmful pattern. Interestingly here, it doesn’t matter which it is that motivates the change, as long as we respond differently our perspective on ourselves and on any similar situations in the future will be forever changed. I find that truth very, very exciting!! I don’t have to do “it” perfectly I just have to do it differently! I can handle that, and, I’m willing to bet, so can you!


Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Lies that Encourage Procrastination: Don’t Delay, Read This Today!

Lies that Encourage Procrastination By Tina Budeweit-Weeks

The CEDRIC theme for March is ‘Procrastination’ and how we deal with it as we journey towards wholeness and balance. When we chronically procrastinate, we are cheating ourselves and delaying the evolution that will contribute to the success of our efforts. The world around us lures us to stay in denial, but part of taking back the power of our success is to become more vigilant with the products that we use in our day to day process.

It might seem to be advantageous to blindly barrel on and start halfway through the process by letting our eating habits remain the same as we realize that ‘Food is not the problem’ but its still necessary to do the work needed that accompanies dealing with past issues, and that is to address the fact that the world around us is not as it would seem. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, The Law of Attraction, Tips for Natural Eating

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Tina’s Journey – ‘Not Good Enough’ – Jealousy and Grounding

Tina's Journey - ‘Not Good Enough’The following concludes my February ponderance on the Drill Sergeant, as I have been isolating and recording my responses around the internal critic, holding the curious thing up in the light to turn it every which way and inspect it.

The Drill Sergeant nailed me good last night. I felt it loud and clear in my mind and heart as my beloved hubby related a conversation he had with a woman while he was away on business and I instantly went to that hurt place and let the Drill Sergeant rip a real strip off of me. The woman had invited us to her place in the Okanagan, where she has peach orchards. Instantly, my DS roared to life. I hadn’t seen hubby but for one 24 hour period in the past 10 days of his hectic travel schedule. When he got home, it was good to snuggle up with him and catch up. Instead, his mention of this woman set the Drill Sergeant loose in me INSTANTANEOUSLY and all of a sudden I was thinking…

“Why don’t you have acreage?” the petulant voice echoed in my skull. “Why was he talking to her on the computer when he knew he had you to talk to?” it went on. “You know he’s going to find out the truth about you when someone more suited to him comes along… like this woman he’s telling you about.” “He’s talking to a woman who is more deserving of him…”

Would I accept this kind of conversation from anyone else in my world?

Of course not.

So why do I have to listen to it between my own two ears?


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The word for the day is ‘PERFECT’

The word for the day is 'PERFECT'
You know how sometimes you think a word and the world around you echoes it in some way, such as on the radio in the car, in conversation with people, on tv, on the net? That just happened to me, I was home alone watching the sun crest over the distance and illuminating my deck and the two cats tussling by the window. I said ‘perfect’ softly and not a second later, there was the word again, this time out of the mouth of the tv announcer.
Simultaneously, there is an announcement on TV that interrupts regular programming. It is warning of high winds in the area. In the theme of perfection, that fits right in as I sit here watching the storm approach from the distance.

I am anticipating winds of change. I can see the pine cones on the fir just off our balcony getting big and fat and puffing up. They send their little seeds off into the warmer springlike wind which triggers the cones to open wider and release. (more…)

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Thought Vibration: Chapter V

The Law of Attraction In the Thought World

William Walker Atkinson wrote a book in 1906 called “Thought Vibration or The Law of Attraction in the Thought World. He wrote over 100 books in his career and was widely respected as a leader of new thought and spirituality. His writing formed the theoretical basis for the hit movie The Secret and influenced many of its interviewees (Such as Jack Canfield and Joe Vitale). I’d like to share some quotes from each chapter with you over the next few weeks as it’s such an amazing little resource and the language with which he writes is so matter of fact it really appeals to the logical, rational, need the science behind the method part of my brain. I hope you like it. Michelle

Chapter V: The Secret of the Will

“… few realize that the Will may be developed and strengthened by intelligent practice.”

” … Will Power, with all its latent possibilities and mighty powers, may be developed, disciplined, controlled and directed, just as may be any other of Nature’s forces.It does not matter what theory you may entertain about the nature of the Will, you will obtain the results if you practice intelligently.”

“… I think that in the higher regions of the mind of every man is a great store of Will Power awaiting his use. …. Your Will does not need training — but your Mind does.The mind is the instrument and the supply of Will Power is proportionate to the fineness of the instrument through which it manifests.”

“He who has developed his mind so that it will allow the Will Power to manifest through it, has opened up wonderful possibilities for himself.Not only has he found a great power at his command, but he is able to bring into play, and use, faculties, talents and abilities of whose existence he has not dreamed.This secret of the Will is the magic key which opens all doors.”

“Many of us feel that if we would but exert our Will, we might accomplish wonders.”

“We instinctively feel the power of the Will, but we haven’t enough energy to exercise it, and so drift along with the tide, … “

Michelle here, I was thinking about the above statements and it is clear to me that people who use food to cope have tremendous will power; they’re just exercising it in the wrong direction. Their will power is directed towards controlling their food intake and body size. Will power will not be enough to resolve a harmful coping strategy because you must understand the underlying reasonsand triggers for your need for the food and body focus in the first place. That is the place to apply your will. To focus your efforts on relationships or circumstances in your life where you do not respectfully ask for what you need or where you feel unsafe or insecure is the most powerful manifestation of your will power.It states to yourself and to anyone watching that you believe you are worthy of love and respect and that you will only engage in relationships where those things are present. If you are using food to cope you do not believe that you are worthy of dignity and respect from yourself or from others. Place your effort on finding the source of that story and seeing how it manifests in your life today, apart from food, and you will have the key to a life that is completely free from food and body image focus.

You are worthy of respect and dignity in all the areas of your life.

Love Michelle

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