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Overcoming Your Love-Hate Relationship With Food

Overcoming Your Love-Hate Relationship With Food

Overcoming Your Love-Hate Relationship With Food

If you’d like to understand, once and for all, why you feel so frustrated about your weight and why your relationship with food is so stressful, this article will explain it all and give you a simple exercise to experiment with so you can start overcoming your love-hate relationship with food. Regardless of whether you are an emotional eater, a compulsive eater or struggle with an eating disorder such as anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder this article will help you understand a key piece of the puzzle of what you need to do to change how much room food takes up in your life and in your brain, for good! 

Last week I told you about the relationship between certain foods and your brain chemistry. I gave you the scientific data behind why you are naturally drawn to eat certain foods (like chips, bread, cheese, ice cream and chocolate) even though you know they aren’t the best for you nutritionally and won’t help you reach your weight loss goals. (If you prefer to watch a video rather than read, my video on sidestepping the food-emotion power struggle explains it all and then some.)

This week I want to introduce you to the real issue; the thing that is at the root of it all.

What is it that makes you want those foods, even when you’re not hungry, regardless of your diet plan or your intention to eat well and your true heart’s desire to lose weight and feel great in your body? 

Well, through my personal recovery from binge eating disorder and my 20 years as a specialist in the field of eating disorders, addictions, depression, anxiety and trauma, I came to see clearly that the cause of your overeating or diet dilemma, had very little at all to do with food and instead was triggered by some faulty wiring in the supercomputer that is your brain.

I am happy to say that, through the use of neural mapping and the marvels of brain imaging, science has since proven this to be true. 

So, we now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if you often eat more than you’re hungry for or binge or diet more than once or twice in your lifetime or struggle with anorexia, being eating disorder, or bulimia or other forms of eating disorders the fact is, right now you have in your brain, some mis-wiring and mis-firing that has created what I call ‘a confused stress response.’

This confused stress response is also present in those who find themselves dependent on alcohol, drugs, tv, the internet and other common human coping strategies.

As frustrating as this might have been for you until now, it is actually quite easy to change once you know what to do and how to do it. (more…)

Posted in: 2013, All-or-Nothing Thinking, and Binging, Anorexia and Bulimia, Brain Chemistry, Complete Recovery, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating, Uncategorized

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Tips for Happy Holiday Eating

tips for holiday eatingThe holidays can be stressful enough without adding stress about food to the mix.

On top of thoughts about family (some we may love dearly and some we’d like to never have to see again), friends, travel plans, money and gift stress, and increased time pressures we certainly don’t need anything else to fret about at what is supposed to be a most fun and peaceful time of year.

But if we are stressed about our relationship with food and uncomfortable with our weight, we naturally have another layer of stress, a chronic 24/7 chatter in our brain, that cranks up a few more notches at this time of year.

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Posted in: 2012, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating, Uncategorized

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‘Here’s a little trick for bad body thoughts and self-consciousness around weight/body image.’

A Snapshot of Your Daily Life (And What to do to Make it Better)

We’ve all been there! You wake up feeling that same old anxiety begin to wash over you. Then you become conscious of your thoughts and they’re a churning blend of everything you need to do that day, all that you didn’t do (or didn’t do right) yesterday, and of food and of your body.

Even if you had a ‘good’ day yesterday and ate what you were ‘supposed’ to, that voice in your head is telling you: “You’re still not there yet! You’d better not screw up today!” And even if you somehow managed to get ‘there’ and you’re the weight and body size you’ve always told yourself you’re supposed to be, because you got there through restriction and behaviours that are neither life-enhancing nor sustainable, that voice in the back of your head is saying “It won’t last!”

And you haven’t even made it out of bed yet.

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Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self

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How to Let Go of Self-Judgement

How to Let Go of Self-Judgement

Hi Everyone,

The easiest way to let go of self-judgement and set about the sometimes challenging but also fun and exciting experience of truly living life to the fullest, is remind yourself daily of the following premises until they simply become the way you live your life; no reminder necessary.

  1. The truth of human nature is that there is always a valid reason for why we feel and behave as we do.
  2. Your feelings are always perfectly appropriate for what you are telling yourself about the situation or person that seems to be triggering them.
  3. Your behaviours are always just a reaction to what you’re feeling, which, as I’ve said above, is just your natural response to what you are thinking/how you are perceiving the situation at hand.
  4. Therefore, it makes no sense whatsoever to judge or shame yourself for how you feel or what you do.
  5. What does make sense however is to learn:

a)     To immediately identify what you’re thinking (ie. what’s triggering you to feel and behave as you are) and then;

b)     How to quickly assess whether your perception is accurate or not, or whether you need more information to decide.

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Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Self

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Food, Brain Chemistry and Binging: Understanding the Link and the Solution

Brain Chemistry and BingingHello all,

Welcome! I’m going to bet that you’re reading this because you’re frustrated with your relationship with food and you want to be able to simply eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. Also, you would like to maintain a natural weight for your body without stress and without rigorous exercise regimes. Right?

If this described your thoughts, then, you’re going to love the next series of articles. If you’re just joining me I urge you to take some time over the next few weeks and read the series on The Diet Mentality that I just completed. It will be extremely helpful to you.

For the next 6 weeks (or so) I’ll be sharing with you, a little each week, about certain foods and how they impact our brain and body chemistry.

After reading this series of articles you will have a better understanding of why you feel drawn to have certain foods at certain times.

Frequently I say to my clients that empathy (understanding) is the key to lasting change. This is because once we understand what’s going on, we automatically have genuine compassion and patience for ourselves, coupled with a willingness to change our behaviour and a sense of hope and trust that our efforts will be worthwhile.

In other words, once we understand why we’re doing what we’re doing we can set about finding a solution that truly will provide the results we seek.

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Posted in: 2012, and Binging, Brain Chemistry, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self

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How To Get Free Of The Diet Mentality Part X ©

Get Free Of The Diet MentalityHurrah! We made it!

This is Part X in our Diet Mentality series.

This series is my gift to you. The series will provide you with a clear, concrete sense of how your thinking about food and body image gets in your way. It describes what you can begin to do in each of the key Diet Mentality areas to begin to feel at peace within and comfortable in your skin.

Last week I asked you to consider your answers to some questions about clothing and body image.

What did you come up with?

I imagine you realized you have some pretty impossible expectations of yourself. Or at least, expectations that are preventing you from just feeling comfortable and doing what you’d like to do in your life at this time.

The story that you have to be anything other than what you are now in order to have comfortable clothing, get out there and do things, and be worthy of equal treatment is a very all or nothing and, therefore, paralyzing thought.

Inevitably it leads you to feel even more uncomfortable, more stuck and depressed. This naturally leads you to want to eat those foods that will numb and soothe you and, at least for a brief moment in time, make you feel a little better.

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Posted in: 2012, CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Food, The Diet Mentality Series

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How To Get Free Of The Diet Mentality Part II ©

Get Free Of The Diet MentalityThis is Part II in our Diet Mentality series. If you’re new to our community you can just start here or you can hop back two weeks to the discussion of The Diet Mentality and statistics and then look at last week’s key Diet Mentality point to make sure you’re up to speed. Either approach will be helpful. Just do what you can.

Another key indicator that you’ve got some Diet Mentality going on is if you feel obligated to eat what is placed in front of you – whether or not you like it and whether or not it is too much.

This might not seem like it has anything at all to do with dieting. But it has everything to do with the co-dependent mindset and all or nothing thinking that under pin The Diet Mentality.

You see, if you are so concerned with what other people think or what they would feel that you would compromise your body’s needs and not be authentic about what you like or what you need it is highly likely that you do this in other areas of your life too.

This is very dangerous as this way of being in the world creates great anxiety and insecurity because you really don’t trust yourself to take care of yourself and put your own needs first. This is, ironically, often why we start dieting, binging, purging or engaging in full blown eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder in the first place.

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Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Others, Tips for Natural Eating

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How To Get Free Of The Diet Mentality Part I ©

Get Free Of The Diet MentalityOne aspect of The Diet Mentality that you must be on the lookout for in order to step free of that old way of thinking and step into an effortless relationship with food and a natural weight for your body without dieting is the pattern of restricting the amount of food that you are ‘allowed’ to have.

In a rational, functional relationship with food, what you are physically hungry for is what you are ‘allowed’ to have. And the only one who ‘allows’ you is you. Not the other people you’re eating with; Not Jenny Craig; Not Dr. Bernstein; You!

Your primary responsibility where food is concerned is to wait until you are hungry to eat something. Your next responsibility is to learn to stay present while eating and to identify and listen to the cues of comfortable fullness you are eating naturally.  You are not responsible to buy into anyone else’s ideas of what you should have or how much.

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Posted in: 2012, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating

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Why is it so hard to be honest??

Why is it so Hard to be Honest?

One of the hardest things for people to do, especially people who have received any co-dependent training, is to hold themselves to the core value of honesty.  But it doesn’t have to be that way. Read on to find out why honesty is so challenging some times and what you can do to start feeling more confident in your ability to be honest with everyone, all the time.

The answer to the question ‘Why is it so hard to be honest’ is twofold:

1.  We often (usually) don’t even know what we truly feel and want and need. We might know something doesn’t feel right or good or okay but we have our inner critic immediately judging our feelings and so we mistrust our emotions just as we mistrust our hunger and fullness cues.

2.  We are scared crapless to piss people off! Let’s just admit it! We don’t want to upset anyone. We don’t want to be the bad guy. We don’t want anyone saying anything about us that isn’t nice and warm and fuzzy. And so we bail on ourselves.

    And just in case you’re still wondering if this applies to you: If you have any food and body image stress, or if you binge, or struggle with restriction (dieting or anorexia or orthorexia (an obsession with eating “clean”), or purging (through exercise, laxatives, or vomiting)  or with drinking, drugs, too much t.v. or internet; feeling overrun by your relationships or frustrated in your career, you can guarantee that you have a high dose of co-dependent training.

    (more…)

    Posted in: 2012, All-or-Nothing Thinking, CEDRIC Centre, Natural Eating 101, Relationship with Food, Relationship with Self, Tips for Natural Eating

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    Who Says?

    Who SaysHello all!!

    For this week +-

    Last week we were noticing comparisons, and the week before we were observing the tone we used to speak in certain situations and what it means about how we’re feeling and perceiving ourselves.

    I have yet to receive any direct feedback on the comparison recon and will follow up with you on how to make best use of this assignment when I do. So, if you tried the exercise and are just a bit too shy or self-critical to share what you learned, remember you can always share and ask for your personal information to be kept private.

    This week I want you to pay special attention to:

    1. Any time that you feel silly, small, stupid, or judged.
    2. Any time you find yourself imagining a situation in the future where something will happen that you believe will trigger those feelings of insecurity.

    (more…)

    Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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