When we come from the perfectionism/need to prove our value, our Drill Sgt. is continuously bombarding us with stories of how we must be in order to be acceptable. His all-or-nothing thinking, his constant messages that we are so far from acceptable now, lead us to feel more overwhelmed and less capable; more frightened to take any step in any direction lest we fail and receive more criticism.
This is where we turn to the coping strategy of procrastination. It’s a tool we use to avoid having to experience the failure that we are certain is imminent. After all, we have tried and failed so many times. The unrealistic expectations and complete lack of empathy and compassion of the Drill Sgt. create the certainty that we can never attain our goals, so our Authentic Self responds with, “Why bother?” The feelings of despair and hopelessness, along with the fear of the Drill Sgt.’s criticism, paralyze us, and we turn to food to help us numb out and distance ourselves from the intense feelings we are experiencing.