Cedric Centre for Counselling Inc.

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Choice

Responsible, conscious choice is the road to authenticity and empowerment.

 

The choice not to choose is the choice to remain unconscious and disempowered – this often leads to a feeling of being controlled by another – or by a substance

 

If you have ever felt or thought:

 

“They always get what they want and I never get my way”, “What I want isn’t important” You have chosen to ignore your needs.

 

The truth is that you have sent someone the message that whatever it is, it wasn’t that important to you.

 

When considering a choice: We must take into account the potential consequences of our actions.  Ask yourself:

 

“What will come from this choice?”

 

“Do I really want that?”

 

“Am I willing to accept the consequences of this choice?”

 

When you consider the consequences of your actions and remain conscious of your power and your right to choose your path, you have just made a responsible choice.  Whatever the outcome you chose the best option for you at that time and there is no shame or need for guilt in that.

 

Choices are often made out of a need for security now and not for long term happiness or fullness of life. The choices you make from anger, jealousy or fear and the education that comes through self-doubt and anxiety costs you personal power.  It drags you down and distances you from your goal of integrity and authenticity.

 

Choices made from love, forgiveness, humility and clarity and opening yourself to the wisdom of experience create power and authenticity.  This gives you the strength to face life’s challenges head on without the need for defense mechanisms such as disordered eating, anger and denial.

 

In a nutshell the choices we make directly influence whether we gain or lose personal power.

 

What is a fragmented personality?

 

The fragmented personality is not content.  It is continuously conflicting with different aspects of itself.  Our response to those internal struggles determines the way that you will evolve, consciously or unconsciously, through fear and doubt or wisdom.

 

It requires effort to remain conscious during life’s struggles but it is easier than living through the consequences that follow a decision to act in anger, or selfishness or fear when you know that with each decision to act without compassion you will experience the discord, or fear, or anguish that you create in another.

 

Isn’t it worth it to project ahead to the probable consequences of your actions, at each point of choice, and see how you will feel in each instance, how you will feel about those consequences and if making that choice will foster love and compassion for yourself and for others.

 

Choice: Self-Exploration

 

Remember, if your goal is to become authentic and to have integrity, making conscious choice is a key part of this goal.

 

Take some time now and reflect on choices you have made in the past.

 

What choices have you made unconsciously in the past?

 

What was the result?

 

How did you feel about yourself as a result of the outcome of unconscious choice?

 

Have you ever made a conscious choice?  Meaning, a choice that came from giving thought to the questions:

 

  • What will come from this choice?
  • Do I really want that?
  • Am I willing to accept the consequences of this choice? 

If you have what was the result?

 

Your consciousness does not guarantee that things will go your way but it does guarantee that you did everything you could to ensure that it was the right thing for you at that time.  Knowing this means that we have no grounds for self-recrimination or shame for a choice that didn’t work out.

 

Make an effort over the next week to ask your self these 3 questions when faced with a choice that can have consequences on the future. (Keep in mind, this process doesn’t pertain to just the “big” events in our lives, even not brushing your teeth has consequences!)

 

Have a great week!  M

Posted in: Relationship with Others

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