And when you’re feeling overwhelmed about something you believe you can’t do anything to change or resolve, the only thing to do is to find a way to diminish or discount the impact of that thing: to numb out.

In comes your primary coping strategy.

• Is it binging?
• Is it restricting calories, certain kinds of foods, or times of eating regardless of whether you’re hungry or not?
• Is it purging (through an hour or two of exercise, through laxatives, or vomiting)?
• Is it an attachment to a certain weight or way of looking?
• Is it drinking?
• What about drugs; shopping; gambling; the pursuit of that perfect relationship?
• Do you take responsibility for what others feel, or what others need?
• Do you procrastinate to cope with overwhelming things?
• Do you isolate yourself?
• Do you avoid certain people or places?
• Do you resist downtime?
• Do you resist going to bed at a reasonable hour?
• Are you a clean freak? Or just the opposite?

How do you currently cope with the unmet needs in your life?

Which of the above coping strategies do you use when you have needs that aren’t being met? Make a mental note or write them down.

The solution?

Step 1: Learn to immediately identify when you have needs that aren’t being met.

Step 2: Learn to acknowledge and validate those needs, rather than question or squash or judge them.

Step 3: Learn how best to meet your needs in ways that are lasting and life-enhancing. This builds self-esteem and creates a life that is peaceful, balanced, passionate and fulfilling.

Step 4: Live, have fun, enjoy, practice good self-care without effort and never even think about using any harmful coping strategy again.

But before you can live in step 4 you have to master steps 1 – 3.

Each of us has an appropriately and naturally occurring sensation of discomfort or distress when we have a need that isn’t being met. I call it “the niggle.” A sense of “something’s not right” or “I just can’t relax” or, even worse: “Something bad is going to happen.” Your goal is to learn to identify immediately when the niggle arises. And, instead of judging it and numbing out to it with one of your coping strategies, you’re going to do this:

1. Acknowledge that you have a need that isn’t being met. “I am feeling that niggly sensation. That means I have a need that isn’t being met.”
2. Ask yourself what you were just thinking or what just happened that may have triggered you to feel stressed (niggly).
3. Then ask yourself: “What has to happen with that situation I was just imagining in order for me to feel completely peaceful?” (However unlikely or unreal it may seem, let yourself get clear on what you really need in that situation in order to feel peaceful about it – write it down!)
4. And voila, you’ve identified your unmet needs and can now set about learning how to meet them. You may also discover that your niggle was arising not from any present-day unmet needs but from memories of old painful circumstances or from imagining certain future events in a way that made you feel niggly (ie. that your needs wouldn’t be met in the future).

Most of us have such a long history of judging and tuning out to our needs that just doing step 1 is a challenge on our own, let alone steps 3 and 4.

That’s where I come in.

It doesn’t have to take a long time. It doesn’t have to be “hard.” It’s only taken awhile, but it’s been challenging so far because you’ve been trying the wrong thing over and over. It typically takes 5 or 6 sessions to get the basic tools in your tool kit (or one weekend workshop) and then a few follow-up sessions as you road test them.

There is this ridiculous mentality out there in the medical system and amidst many eating disorder and substance abuse recovery facilities that once you’ve got an eating disorder, or alcoholism etc., you’ve got it for life and that the best you can do is learn to live in such a way that minimizes its effect on your life. Well, that is just not true at all. That is the most defeating, paralyzing mentality anyone can have and it’s no wonder that by the time people come to work with me, they’re feeling completely stuck and hopeless.

I want to reassure you that your use of food to cope, in whatever way you do it, and any other harmful coping strategy you engage in, can be completely overcome and left behind for good. And you don’t have to go through years and years of arduous, white-knuckling it, just a few months of consistent practice of a new way of looking at yourself and at the world is all it takes.

It’s all about needs. You can choose to continue to judge your needs and shame yourself for having them, and therefore doom yourself to stay stuck where you are. Or you can allow for the possibility that in a short period of time, even if you don’t know how, you can learn to identify and meet your needs in ways that makes you feel stronger and happier than ever before and that make your relationships with others the way you’ve only ever dreamed of.

That’s been my experience as a completely recovered binge eater and exercise bulimic, and as a specialist with 15 years experience in this field. There is hope. There is freedom. There is an amazing life waiting for you!

Love Michelle

Mostly likely they’ve developed patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving called “coping strategies” that allow them to feel some degree of safety and security in their world. Coping strategies take many forms.  One primary coping strategy that many people in our society develop is a preoccupation with appearance and with their relationship with food, either in a restricting or overeating way.

If we’re having a stressful time with our relationship with food or feeling a great deal of judgement towards our bodies, we know one thing for certain, we’re feeling so overwhelmed with some other aspect(s) of our life that we felt the need, however consciously, to preoccupy ourselves with food and body image.

The truth is that your relationship with food will be free and easy, relaxed and peaceful UNLESS you are using food to cope with some underlying problem that you believe is out of your control.  You won’t overeat or feel the need to restrict because you’ll only feel called to eat when you’re hungry, and you’ll be present enough in your world and in your body to know when you’re full and to stop.  Therefore, whether you’re overweight or underweight, it’s a sign you’re using food to cope because of some underlying problem. Food itself isn’t the problem, neither is your body. Your relationship with food and your body are symptomatic of how overwhelmed you feel by other aspects of your life.

Find out and heal what’s really triggering your overwhelm and you’ll have the key to forever overcoming your stressful relationship with food and your feelings of frustration and loathing for your body.

The path is simple and lasts a lifetime.

If you’re ready to find out what’s really up with you and how to resolve it respectfully and completely, let me support you with my simple, clear and effective approach.

Whether you prefer one-on-one counselling (in-person, by phone, or email), our intensive and transformative workshops, or the more self-help approach, take action today to have a stress-free relationship with food.  Life is far too short to waste one more day.

Love Michelle

Now, rather than feeling “outed” by this statement and that everyone you meet is going to “know” you’re out of balance, could you allow yourself instead to just accept the truth of it? Instead of trying to protect yourself from the truth of your lack of balance, how about asking the question: “What’s the fastest, most effective and lasting solution to this problem?” 

Think of it like this: if you’re not healthy and balanced physically and emotionally, everything in your life, including you, suffers in a big way. Maybe you’re not as active as you would like to be, you’re a little more down than you otherwise would be, or you feel overwhelmed, leading you to feel a little more reclusive than you otherwise would be – thus you miss out on many opportunities for play and to deepen your relationships with others. It makes sense, because you’re not feeling great about yourself, you’re a little more sensitive to the comments and gestures of others which results in more hurt feelings, more arguments and greater strife in your primary relationships. But it doesn’t have to be this way at all.  There is a very simple solution. 

I remember a statistic I read some time ago and which most of you have likely heard too:  Most people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. Yes, public speaking is the #1 fear among humans while death ranks somewhere around 7^th. Even the fear of eating in public or signing one’s name in public triggers more fear, it seems, than the experience of taking our last breath. 

What shocks me, frankly, is how willing most people are to just accept this; to explore tools to “manage” their anxiety; to fake it till they make it, etc.  These approaches will all help, yes, but…they aren’t cures. Why aren’t more people interested in, or better yet, committed to, finding a cure for their fear?  Why are so many people so willing to just accept their current limitations without exploring where they came from and without being open to the possibility that they can have a life that is completely free of them? 

The same question applies to your preoccupation with food and body image and to your use of food to cope, whether through binging, purging or restricting.  Why are you so willing to settle for symptom management, e.g., medications, alcohol, drugs, diets, exercise plans, isolation, procrastination and co-dependence?  None of these approaches cure anything. They don’t answer the question, “why?” And they don’t give you an answer to the real cause of the problem so that you can resolve the underlying trigger and thus not have any further need of any of those symptom management strategies (also called “coping strategies”). 

Your preoccupation with other people’s feelings; other people’s judgements and perceptions of you; and other people’s needs is the pattern of behaviour that does the most harm.  

Think about it. Think about why you don’t go certain places or do certain things (like traveling, like the gym, like a movie, like a certain restaurant, like asking that special someone out, or confronting that special someone about something that hurts your feelings or upsets you, etc.). Think about why you wear this dress or shirt instead of that one. Ask yourself why you aren’t pursuing the career of your dreams.  Doesn’t it all stem back to what you think other people will think or say or do? In essence this is a version of the #1 fear: public speaking. You don’t do, think, feel or say what you’d authentically like to because of what others might think, feel, do and say in response; because you place more importance, more value, on their judgement than on your own. 

Obviously the solution lies in getting to the root of why you care so much about the opinions of others that you aren’t living your very precious, finite life to the fullest.

I used to struggle every moment of every day, preoccupied with judgement from others. It caused me great anxiety and led me to make very harmful choices (ie. Not breaking up with someone when I knew they weren’t right for me just so they or others wouldn’t be mad or judge me. Not going to the gym (or exercising) until I was closer to a natural weight for my body so no one would judge me for being fat. Eating when I wasn’t hungry, to soothe my feelings of fear and sadness and anger. Not speaking up for myself in relationships with colleagues, bosses, family members, etc., because I didn’t want them to be angry – thus allowing them to mistreat me or to form incorrect assumptions about what I liked or disliked, leading to a greater sense of estrangement and judgment). 

In order to reclaim my life and stop living simply to avoid the judgement of others, I used to play the following head game with myself: I’d imagine that something had happened and that, for now, I was the only person alive on earth. There was no one around. No one could possibly see me or pass judgement on me. Then I’d ask myself, “Given these circumstances, what would I be doing right now? How would I be dressing? What would I be thinking, feeling? Where would I go? How would I be walking, sitting? What would my posture be like? What would I do for a living?” 

Once I got settled into my “last-person-on-earth” headspace, I’d add people in again and challenge myself to behave as I would if no one were there even though there were people all around. It was a fabulous exercise to help me identify what my authentic expression of myself in that moment would be and to challenge myself to be more authentic in every moment of my life. 

This is simply another symptom management tool of course, but it brings you closer to the real you, and reveals much about the barriers you construct in your own life. 

True freedom lies in identifying the root of your external preoccupation and bringing the focus of your life and your decisions back, firmly, to your feelings and needs in any moment. 

This is my area of expertise. In a handful of sessions I can show you what is standing in the way of you feeling truly free to live your life to the fullest in all areas and give you a clear and simple set of tools to turn your life and any harmful behaviours (food and body preoccupation) completely around. 

I welcome the opportunity to support you in one-on-one therapy or at one of my transformative workshops. And if you’d rather explore this process independently, I encourage you to purchase my book, Food is not the Problem: Deal With What Is for a complete recovery program at your fingertips. 

Have a great day being the only person on earth!
Love Michelle

There is no right or wrong way to move through the healing process.  It’s a completely personal experience and the length of the healing journey depends on many factors but the most important thing for us all is this:

What is the most important thing  to you? Is it your ability to respect and respond to your feelings and needs? Or is it the acceptance and approval of others. If honoring yourself and doing whatever it takes to create peace and freedom from the stress of food focus 24/7 is the most important thing to you when you enter this healing process, it will go very quickly for you.

If however, your primary goal is to be accepted and approved of; to not hurt, offend, upset, disappoint, or push anyone’s buttons, and to not impact existing patterns of relating between you and anyone else in your life, your healing process will naturally take a little bit longer if not a great deal longer.  This is because any time you’re basing decisions on what you can have, do or be on what others might think, feel, say and do, you’re engaging in a pattern of relationship called Co-dependence. And Co-dependency is the pattern of behaviour that, more than any other, leads to the use of food to cope and keeps it firmly in place.

Co-dependency simply defined is: Feeling responsible for other people’s feelings and needs. (This does not apply to dependent children.)

If you have chosen to feel guilty and responsible for other people’s feelings and needs, you will need to use food (or drugs, or alcohol, or shopping, gambling, isolation and/or procrastination) to cope with your feelings of anxiety, frustration, depression, hurt, disappointment, anger and shame.  For anytime you take on responsibility for someone else, you are stepping outside of yourself and your own feelings and needs. You are in essence saying to yourself: “This person is more important than me. When they are happy, when our relationship is secure, when they give me permission to focus on myself without any potential risk to our relationship, then I will consider my own feelings and needs first.”

“But I don’t choose how I feel,” you say. It may not feel like that to you consciously, but in reality, it’s true that you choose how you feel and it’s also true that you teach people how to treat you. No one can “get away” with anything in relationship with you that you aren’t willing on some level to allow. And whether you’re consciously or unconsciously permitting the people in your life certain ways of talking and behaving that undermine your sense of acceptance, or safety in the relationship you come away feeling frustrated, insecure, hurt, and anxious. The end result? You use food to cope: you overeat; you restrict; you purge; you diet.

To be completely free of food and body image stress you have to be willing to look at and heal the real problem. For many men and women the real problem is their intense need to be accepted and to feel safe in the world and in their relationships. The need for safety and acceptance is a natural and normal human need, but it’s the way you’ve been taught to go about getting these needs met that isn’t working. No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, whether it’s a romantic relationship, parent-child relationship, career, friendships or any other relational dynamic, if you use food to cope it means that you are preventing yourself from being all that you can be and you are giving your power away to others.

But you can’t allow your life to be ruled by the needs and feelings of others or by your need for their acceptance and approval any longer. It hasn’t worked yet, and it never will.  The good news is, no matter where you are on your path, you can make changes now toward the life that you want – if you’re ready and willing to make the effort.

At The CEDRIC Centre we teach you how to really and truly get your need for safety and acceptance met and how to deal with the stress in your life in ways that do not harm you or your relationships with others.  Imagine no longer feeling the need to use food to cope with stress and the painful feelings of fear and rejection. Imagine your stress level being greatly diminished, replaced by self-acceptance and the solid inner knowledge that you’re safe in the world; that you actually fit in.

If you’re ready to get off the food and body image emotional merry-go-round and improve the relationships in your life, it’s definitely time to try a new tack. Join me in person or on the phone for some individual support; come to one of our intensive and transformative weekend workshops or pick up a copy of my book “Food is not the Problem: Deal With What Is” available for immediate download or for hard copy purchase through our website.

Life is short, but it can be amazing when you live yours and not someone else’s.

Love Michelle

You know all too well how distressing and overwhelming it can be when you observe yourself doing something you don’t want to do, for example, overeating, because this action will be of no assistance to you in reaching your ultimate goal. But you can’t stop yourself; you feel as though you have no control and that your life is out of your hands. You feel simultaneously comforted and soothed, in that anxious and strangely familiar way, and frustrated. You feel as if you are going crazy. You feel stuck and hopeless, and you begin to make plans for what you are going to do differently next time because this gives you a sense of power and makes you feel a little better in the moment, even though you know you are not likely to be successful then, either!

But imagine if you were able to catch yourself thinking about or actually overeating, purging, or restricting, and rather than believing you are weak and can’t stop this behaviour, you could say, “Oh, I’m doing the food thing. What is the unmet need which I have right now that’s making me want to use food to cope?” Imagine that! In moments, you have gone from blaming yourself for needing a coping strategy to empathy and compassion for the fact that you have a need which isn’t being met, and now you are in a position to actually find a solution to the unmet need and meet it in ways which make you feel stronger and more trusting of yourself. Oh, it is really so beautiful and empowering to see yourself meeting your own needs in a life-enhancing way. This is when the world begins to take on a different perspective – and all because you have allowed yourself to put your faith in a different thought: food is not the problem!

Excerpted from Food is Not the Problem: Deal With What Is!

If you are looking to free yourself from the emotional stress that drives you to use food to cope, please join us this July at our live summer workshop in beautiful Victoria, BC.  Three Days to Freedom – yes, in just 3 days, you can completely transform your approach to food and your life with new awareness and 3 simple tools that will change your life forever! Come and learn everything you need to know about why you struggle with food. We would love to have you here. (We even have an early bird price in effect until July 5!).

Have questions? We’re holding a no-cost preview telecall on Tuesday, June 30 from 5-6pm Pacific with Michelle Morand. Register here to find out more about the CEDRIC Centre and this workshop.

In the meantime, check out our Frequently Asked Questions here.

The Complete Recovery Team

Details at a Glance

1.  Early Bird Price: $596.00 or 3 equal payments at $201.00 only until July 5! (regular price $636.00).

2.  Preview Q&A Telecall June 30 from 5-6pm Pacific (6-7 Mountain / 7-8pm Central / 8-9 Eastern).

3.  Draw to win a free follow-up counselling session with Michelle Morand (value $130!).

Freedom and peace of mind are on the way this July…

Been thinking of coming to one of our workshops but haven’t quite drummed up the courage yet and need a little nudge? Well, here’s your nudge!  There’s never been a better time than the present to explore your relationship with food.

It doesn’t matter how old you are or how long you’ve been dealing with the stress of an eating disorder or that annoying diet mentality, you can find the answers you’re looking for. We promise. Really, the solution is close than you think.

Imagine This…

In just three days you can completely transform your approach to food and your life. Come and learn everything you need to know about why you struggle with food, why you haven’t been successful in getting a good, solid, long-lasting grip on the problem, and 3 simple tools that will change your life forever!

“Thank you for providing a secure and accepting environment for me to explore and identify some personal key issues – and for providing the tools to confidently move forward.” ~Christine

Sound too good to be true? The CEDRIC Centre workshops have an amazingly profound and transformative quality about them. People from all over the world have come to us and have dramatically accelerated their recovery as a result. We’ve seen it over and over again, and that’s how we know what we teach is working!

It is our greatest reward to see people move through changes and be released from the issues that have been keeping them stuck. We’d love to have you join us!

Ready to take the plunge? Register for or read more about the Weekend Workshops.

Draw to Win a No-Cost Counselling Session

We’ll also be having a draw at the event, and one lucky participant will receive a free counselling session with Michelle Morand valued at $130!

Preview Call Details

We’re holding a NO-COST Preview Q&A telecall on Tuesday, June 30 at 5-6pm Pacific so you can have your questions about the workshop answered live by Michelle. We’ll be recording the call, so even if you can’t make it, you can still get all of the information like you were there. However, you must register to ensure you’ll get the recording. Sign up for the Weekend Workshop Q and A call.

Our workshops fill up fast. You don’t want to miss the chance to change your life in ways you can’t imagine: 3 special days with Michelle Morand and 3 special tools will put you back in control of your life and back on the path to the joy and happiness you deserve.

“I am so excited to use my new tools and you have given me so much insight!” ~Jocelyn

Register for or read more about the Weekend Workshops.  Remember, the Early Bird price is only in effect until July 5!

We would love to have you join us!

Have questions? Visit our FAQ page or call us Toll Free at 1-866-383-0797 or 250-383-0797.

The Complete Recovery Team