It seems like my last article on needs (“Having needs doesn’t make you needy”) struck a deep chord in many readers. That makes perfect sense. It is the fundamental issue. The only reason you ever use food to cope, no exceptions, is because you have needs that aren’t being met in some area of your life and you’ve told yourself that you’re not allowed, not deserving, or just not capable of getting them met, no matter what you do. These stories you’re telling yourself lead you to feel depressed and anxious, lethargic and frantic, in other words, they overwhelm you.

And when you’re feeling overwhelmed about something you believe you can’t do anything to change or resolve, the only thing to do is to find a way to diminish or discount the impact of that thing: to numb out.

Continue reading “Attending to Your Needs” »

• I’ll be giving a live weekend workshop in Vancouver Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
• Why keep up the vicious cycle of focusing on food? Don’t you deserve to be free? #
• The Cedric Centre provides face-to-face and virtual counselling to people worldwide. #
• Eating disorders workshop in Vancouver, BC Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
• Food is Not the Problem book is a comprehensive self-help recovery program. http://bit.ly/tSYWs #
• Are you or a loved one challenged by using food to cope? Vancouver workshop Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
• Have a live workshop experience with me in Vancouver Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
• Did you know 90% of all eating disorders start with dieting? #
• 95% of people who diet gain the weight back within 1 to 5 years. #
• Family-of-origin issues are a big part of eating disorders, but people can learn how to stop the cycle with gentle encouragement. #
• Coming to Vancouver in November? I’m giving a workshop Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #

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Hello out there!  Thank you for stopping by and taking the time from your busy day to explore some new ways of looking at life and of being in the world.

One of the themes that comes up every day in my work with clients is needs.  Okay, okay, to be honest, it’s usually me bringing it up…..but there’s a really good reason for that. Having needs doesn’t make you needy, it makes you normal.

You see, if you’re overeating, restricting, binging and purging, dieting, drinking, smoking, toking, shopping, gambling, procrastinating, isolating or ruminating on relationships more than you’d like, you’re using a coping strategy. And the only reason any human being ever uses a coping strategy is because they have needs that aren’t being met in some (or many) area(s) of their lives. Continue reading “Having Needs Doesn’t Make You Needy” »

• I would love to meet up with you at the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
• The part of you that is so able to care for others can care for you. #
• I’m gearing up for the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. Hope to see you there! http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
• The real you is there under the guise of an eating disorder. #
• Coming soon: My appearance at the Van Health Show Oct. 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
• Emotionally-charged situations can drive you to use food to cope, but you can learn how to deal with them in a self-enhancing way. #
• Get the real deal on using food to cope. Join me at the Van Heath Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
• Often relationships without boundaries in your formative years caused you to start using food to cope. #
• Catch me in Vancouver at the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #

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A few weeks ago, during our self-care series, I received this email asking for some specific support around goal setting and changing harmful patterns.

“Thank you for this article, it sounds so easy when you break the goal down into small pieces that are seemingly easily attainable.

I’m really struggling with a lack of sociability. I put off going out and meeting people (even going to the market) and am getting more and more housebound.  I find myself dreading any social contact and I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed.  Can you help me with my goal of being a little more outgoing and getting myself to socialize without throwing myself into a state of panic?  Thanks for all your great articles and help.”

For those of you out there also struggling with the coping strategies of isolation, avoidance and procrastination, let me offer you a suggestion for moving past and into an experience of life that is fuller and richer than the one you’re living right now.

Continue reading “Procrastination and Isolation” »