When the eating disorder bulimia is in our lives we are not just dealing with food and weight issues. There are underlying concerns that drove us to focus on food and body initially. Many of us have feelings of low self-worth, and a strong need to control emotions and surroundings. We experience escalating cycles of bingeing and purging in our attempt to feel in control of our lives. Binges distance us from distressing situations by allowing us to stuff our emotions with food. This also provides us with an external sense of safety. The purges help us to regain a sense of control over our body and behaviours. That sense of control comes at a high price however, as we will ultimately end up feeling guilty and disgusted with ourselves for purging. Plus, we still haven’t solved the problem that led us to the cycle of binging and purging in bulimia in the first place.

The majority of those with bulimic behaviour are secretive about the cycle of binge, purge, shame, and guilt. They struggle with feelings of self-hatred, blame, low self-worth, loneliness, and fear of failure. Those who struggle with bulimic patterns also engage in 'all or nothing thinking'. There is no middle ground. A distorted body image, and an intense fear of weight gain are also common.

Common Characteristics of Bulimia (not all need to be present to have the disorder)

• Recurring episodes of binge eating with out-of-control feelings during binges
• Particular foods disappearing from the house
• Regular self-induced purging (through the use of laxatives, diuretics, vomiting or severe food restriction) to prevent weight gain followed by depressed mood, guilt, fear, etc.
• Numerous trips to the bathroom, especially after meals
• Weight fluctuations
• Preoccupation with weight and shape
• Dieting followed by eating binges
• Secretiveness about bingeing and purging
• Excessive exercise
• Inability to identify/express emotions
• Feelings of guilt, shame, disgust

      Source for characteristics: Association for Awareness and Networking Around Disordered Eating (ANAD)

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